Swamp Story
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Dave Barry
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By:
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Dave Barry
About this listen
Pulitzer Prize–winning and New York Times bestselling author—and actual Florida Man—Dave Barry returns with a “hilariously funny” (Steve Martin) caper full of oddballs and more twists and turns than a snake slithering away from a gator.
Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.
Meanwhile, Ken Bortle of Bortle Brothers Bait and Beer has hatched a scheme to lure tourists to his failing store by making viral videos of the “Everglades Melon Monster.” The Monster is, in fact, an unemployed alcoholic newspaperman named Phil wearing a Dora the Explorer costume head. Incredibly, this plan actually works, inspiring a horde of TikTokers to swarm into the swamp in search of the Monster at the same time villains are on the hunt for Jesse’s treasure. Amid this mayhem, a presidential hopeful arrives in the Everglades to start his campaign. Needless to say, it does not go as planned. In fact, nothing in this story goes as planned. This is, after all, Florida.
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2023 Dave Barry. All rights reserved. (P)2023 Simon & Schuster, Inc. All rights reserved.Listeners also enjoyed...
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The West's own governments are giving up, have already lost, or are leading the charge to something else. This doesn't sit well with those who believe in liberty. This is the story of a people who have lost the political fight, they've lost the culture wars, they haven't seen a level playing field in a generation, and they are about to be made serfs. None of that matters. They're leaving....
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Interesting Take on Dystopian (socialist) Future
- By VaDavid on 08-04-20
By: S.M. Anderson
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Stranded
- By: Chris Bruno, David Howard Lee, Shukri R. Abdi
- Narrated by: Taraji P. Henson, Tracee Ellis Ross, Blake Griffin, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Original Recording
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Separated by 10 years, 3,000 miles, and the unrelenting stresses of adulthood, best friends Janet and Serena plan a 40th birthday girls’ trip to reconnect. But after a massive crash, they’re the only survivors to wash ashore on an uncharted Caribbean Island. Armed with only the clothes on their backs and zero survival skills, they fight to overcome hunger, thirst, deadly wildlife—and most terrifyingly—decades of accrued resentment. Can they find their way home, or will they kill each other first?
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Get ready to Laugh
- By Lasheree McFarlane on 11-08-24
By: Chris Bruno, and others
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The Answer Is No
- A Short Story
- By: Fredrik Backman, Elizabeth DeNoma - translator
- Narrated by: Stacy Gonzalez
- Length: 1 hr and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Lucas knows the perfect night entails just three things: video games, wine, and pad thai. Peanuts are a must! Other people? Not so much. Why complicate things when he’s happy alone? Then one day the apartment board, a vexing trio of authority, rings his doorbell. And Lucas’s solitude takes a startling hike. They demand to see his frying pan. Someone left one next to the recycling room overnight, and instead of removing the errant object, as Lucas suggests, they insist on finding the guilty party. But their plan backfires. Colossally.
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Narrator doesn’t get Backman’s satire or rhythm
- By joey1603 on 12-01-24
By: Fredrik Backman, and others
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The Best Man's Ghostwriter
- By: Matthew Starr
- Narrated by: Glen Powell, Nicholas Braun, Ashley Park, and others
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Original Recording
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A bad best man’s speech can ruin a wedding. Why do we plan every detail of a perfect day and then give the groom’s idiot best friend five minutes of total power? Enter Nate (Glen Powell), a speechwriter-for-hire who helps people write incredible best man speeches. To keep the best man from embarrassing himself (and the newlyweds), Nate uses his list of don’ts: Don’t mention the exes, don’t be rated R, and don’t bum everyone out. Nate’s system never fails. That is, until he meets Dan (Nicholas Braun).
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SO GOOD
- By Csutty on 09-23-24
By: Matthew Starr
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Born a Crime
- Stories from a South African Childhood
- By: Trevor Noah
- Narrated by: Trevor Noah
- Length: 8 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In this award-winning Audible Studios production, Trevor Noah tells his wild coming-of-age tale during the twilight of apartheid in South Africa. It’s a story that begins with his mother throwing him from a moving van to save him from a potentially fatal dispute with gangsters, then follows the budding comedian’s path to self-discovery through episodes both poignant and comical.
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Great book and perfect narration
- By MarilynArms on 12-15-16
By: Trevor Noah
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Slaughterhouse-Five
- By: Kurt Vonnegut
- Narrated by: James Franco
- Length: 5 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Traumatized by the bombing of Dresden at the time he had been imprisoned, Pilgrim drifts through all events and history, sometimes deeply implicated, sometimes a witness. He is surrounded by Vonnegut's usual large cast of continuing characters (notably here the hack science fiction writer Kilgore Trout and the alien Tralfamadorians, who oversee his life and remind him constantly that there is no causation, no order, no motive to existence).
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Don't Quit Your Daytime Job, James
- By Keith on 11-20-15
By: Kurt Vonnegut
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The Great Indoors
- By: Ginny Hogan
- Narrated by: Mae Whitman
- Length: 3 hrs and 53 mins
- Original Recording
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Alice's journey begins as all good journeys do: hitting on the sales guy at REI. After a tumultuous breakup, a quick career transition, family upheaval, and a sobriety journey that didn't fix her life quite as much as she expected it to, Alice decides that the only way to solve all her problems is to hike the Pacific Crest Trail. But as she begins preparing for the months-long quest, she realizes the answers she's seeking might not be on top of a snow-covered mountain. Especially since she just learned there was snow in California.
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Chuck full of laughs to lift anyone's spirits.
- By Laura Boogaert on 09-22-24
By: Ginny Hogan
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Very Unbecoming
- By: Emily Kron, Kate Hopkins
- Narrated by: Zoë Chao, Esther Povitsky, Amy Sedaris
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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When two childhood best friends blow up their respective romantic relationships, they make a time-sensitive pact: serial-cheater Chuck cannot sleep with anyone as she attends a three-month-long recovery group for cheaters, while sex-deprived Sofia vows to hook up with as many people as possible before recommitting to monogamy and tying the knot with her long-time fiancé. To keep things interesting, Chuck and Sofia decide to revive a past tradition from their summer camp days—also known as the dawning of sluthood.
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Hilarious
- By Rachel on 11-21-24
By: Emily Kron, and others
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers
- By: Elvis Costello
- Narrated by: T Bone Burnett, Elvis Costello, Rhea Seehorn, and others
- Length: 1 hr and 43 mins
- Original Recording
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The True Story of The Coward Brothers follows two musical brothers – one English, one American, both the illegitimate sons of dubious parentage who may, as they claim to be, "one and half-brothers" – perhaps a reference to the disparity in their height and relative talents.
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Cute
- By NRo on 11-26-24
By: Elvis Costello
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I Can't Make This Up
- Life Lessons
- By: Neil Strauss - contributor, Kevin Hart
- Narrated by: Kevin Hart
- Length: 11 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Superstar comedian and Hollywood box-office star Kevin Hart turns his immense talent to the written word by writing some words. Some of those words include: the, a, for, above, and even even. Put them together and you have the funniest, most heartfelt, and most inspirational memoir on survival, success, and the importance of believing in yourself since Old Yeller.
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Best Audiobook I Ever Listened To
- By Sam Clear on 07-13-17
By: Neil Strauss - contributor, and others
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Caledonian Road
- A Novel
- By: Andrew O'Hagan
- Narrated by: Michael Abubakar
- Length: 22 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Campbell Flynn, art historian, professor, and fêted fixture of the literati, always knew that when his life came crashing down, it would happen in public—yet he never imagined that a single year in London would expose so much. He’s never taken other people half as seriously as they take themselves, which is the first of his mistakes. The second is a new project: opportunistic and precisely calibrated to rake in a fortune.
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The best audiobook I have ever listened to
- By Samuel Barker on 07-31-24
By: Andrew O'Hagan
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sooo funny !!
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Classic Barry at his Best
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Best. State. Ever.
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We never know what will happen next in Florida. We know only that, any minute now, something will. Every few months, Dave Barry gets a call from some media person wanting to know, "What the hell is wrong with Florida?" Somehow, the state's acquired an image as a subtropical festival of stupid, and as a loyal Floridian, Dave begs to differ. Sure, there was the 2000 election. And people seem to take their pants off for no good reason. And it has flying insects the size of LeBron James. But it is a great state, and Dave is going to tell you why.
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Most. Annoying. Narration. Ever.
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Live Right and Find Happiness (Although Beer is Much Faster)
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An uproariously funny examination of what one generation can teach to another - or not - from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times - best-selling author of You Can Date Boys When You're Forty and Insane City. During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has gained much wisdom* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed), and he is eager to pass it on - to the next generation, the generation after that, and those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience.
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Clever!
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Fun Story, needs a different narrator.
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A warning
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sooo funny !!
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Most. Annoying. Narration. Ever.
- By Triple A on 06-21-17
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An uproariously funny examination of what one generation can teach to another - or not - from the Pulitzer Prize winner and New York Times - best-selling author of You Can Date Boys When You're Forty and Insane City. During the course of living (mumble, mumble) years, Dave Barry has gained much wisdom* (*actual wisdom not guaranteed), and he is eager to pass it on - to the next generation, the generation after that, and those idiots who make driving to the grocery store in Florida a death-defying experience.
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The Worst Class Trip Ever
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In this hilarious novel, written in the voice of eighth-grader Wyatt Palmer, Dave Barry takes us on a class trip to Washington, DC. Wyatt, his best friend, Matt, and a few kids from Culver Middle School find themselves in a heap of trouble - not just with their teachers, who have long lost patience with them - but from several mysterious men they first meet on their flight to the nation's capital.
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What a hoot!
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Lunatics
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Philip Horkman is a happy man - the owner of a pet store called The Wine Shop, and on Sundays a referee for kids' soccer. Jeffrey Peckerman is the sole sane person in a world filled with goddamned jerks and morons, and he's having a really bad day. The two of them are about to collide in a swiftly escalating series of events that will send them running for their lives, pursued by the police, soldiers, terrorists, subversives, bears, and a man dressed as Chuck E. Cheese.
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This is funny -- like a train wreck
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By: Dave Barry, and others
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Lessons from Lucy
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As Dave Barry turns 70 - not happily - he realizes that his dog, Lucy, is dealing with old age far better than he is. She has more friends, fewer worries, and way more fun. So Dave decides to figure out how Lucy manages to stay so happy, to see if he can make his own life happier by doing the things she does (except for drinking from the toilet). He reconnects with old friends and tries to make new ones - turns out to be a struggle, because Lucy likes people a lot more than he does.
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Required Reading, Excellent Audio Book!
- By Cramer407 on 04-13-19
By: Dave Barry
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Science Fair
- By: Dave Barry, Ridley Pearson
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- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Toby Harbinger, an eighth grader at Hubble Middle School near Washington, D.C., is in big trouble. He made the mistake of selling his dad's priceless original Star Wars blaster to a lunatic who thinks he's Darth Vader and travels with a large, hairy sidekick known as the Wookiee. Now the lunatic wants more from Toby, whose only hope of getting out of this mess is to win first prize at the school science fair: $5,000.
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family fun
- By JMS on 11-23-11
By: Dave Barry, and others
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Wrecker
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Ron Butler
- Length: 6 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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Valdez Jones VIII calls himself Wrecker because his great-great-great-great-great-grandfather salvaged shipwrecks for a living. So is it destiny, irony, or just bad luck when Wrecker comes across a speedboat that has run hard aground on a sand flat? The men in the boat don't want Wrecker to call for help—in fact, they'll pay him to forget he ever saw them. Wrecker would be happy to forget, but he keeps seeing these men all over Key West—at the marina, even in the cemetery. And now they want more than his silence—they want a lookout.
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Wish Hiaasen would get off his political soapbox
- By J. A. Stephenson on 09-30-23
By: Carl Hiaasen
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Florida Man
- By: Mike Baron
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Gary Duba’s having a bad day. There’s a snake in his toilet, a rabid raccoon in the yard, and his girl Krystal’s in jail for getting naked at a Waffle House and licking the manager. Gary’s a redneck living in a trailer by the swamp. But he’s got dreams, big dreams. Every time he tries to get ahead, fate deals him a low blow. But then he gets lucky... With his best friend, Floyd, Gary sets out to sell his prized Barry Bonds rookie card to raise the $500 needed for bail. But things always find a way of getting out of hand.
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Was this intended to be funny?
- By J. smith on 08-25-20
By: Mike Baron
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The Passenger
- A Novel
- By: Ulrich Alexander Boschwitz, André Aciman
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- Unabridged
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Berlin, November 1938. Jewish shops have been ransacked and looted, synagogues destroyed. As storm troopers pound on his door, Otto Silbermann, a respected businessman who fought for Germany in the Great War, is forced to sneak out the back of his own home. Turned away from establishments he had long patronized, and fearful of being exposed as a Jew despite his Aryan looks, he boards a train.
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Top-notch novel
- By R. Klein on 05-31-21
By: Ulrich Alexander Boschwitz, and others
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Dave Barry Does Japan
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
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- Unabridged
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Without bothering to get approval from the President, the State Department, or even the FTC, Dave Barry's publishers sent him to Tokyo. You'd think they would have known better. Now the word is Barry has set back our diplomatic relations with the whole Pacific Rim by a couple of decades. Japanese culture, dining, sport, and industry all come under Barry's relentless scrutiny.
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Uplifting and fun
- By S. Blaine on 04-30-03
By: Dave Barry
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Dave Barry Is Not Taking This Sitting Down
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Following the best-selling success of Dave's novel, Big Trouble, here is a hilarious new collection of columns from the writer critics have called "the funniest man in America."
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Funny writing, awful narrator
- By Cody on 05-16-11
By: Dave Barry
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Dave Barry's Complete Guide to Guys
- By: Dave Barry
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- Abridged
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The American guy is not to be confused with a husband, father, hunk, or intellectual, says guy expert Dave Barry. Published just in time (the American guy faces extinction due to feminism, the men's movement, and stricter sanitation laws), this guide gives women helpful advice for understanding Him (or It) and offers men useful tips on remembering the names of their children and other dilemmas of life.
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I laughed all the way through
- By Alan Rither on 08-10-04
By: Dave Barry
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Class Clown
- The Memoirs of a Professional Wiseass: How I Went 77 Years Without Growing Up
- By: Dave Barry
- Length: 8 hrs
- Unabridged
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How does the son of a Presbyterian minister wind up winning a Pulitzer Prize for writing a wildly inaccurate newspaper column read by millions of people? In Class Clown, Dave Barry takes us on a hilarious ride, starting with a childhood largely spent throwing rocks for entertainment—there was no internet—and preparing for nuclear war by hiding under a classroom desk. After literally getting elected class clown in high school, he went to college, where, as an English major, he read snippets of great literature when he was not busy playing in a rock band (it was the sixties).
By: Dave Barry
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Dave Barry Hits Below the Beltway
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 4 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Understanding the urgent need for a deeply thoughtful, balanced book to explain our national political process, Dave Barry has not even come close. Though he himself has covered many campaigns, run for president several times, and run for cover at the rainy inauguration of George W. Bush (the man will spare nothing for his art), Barry has instead outdone himself.
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I Love everything Dave Barry, BUT...
- By As my Wimsey takes me on 03-04-13
By: Dave Barry
What listeners say about Swamp Story
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amazon Customer
- 05-23-23
Just what I needed —-
A silly Lil Abner-style-escape. That is, if Lil Abner lived in So Fla and not in mid century Sunday comics.
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- Cindy Duck
- 09-15-23
Funny and engaging
I saw Dave Barry’s interview on Sunday Morning and figured what the heck “I’ll get this audio book” and I’m glad I did. It kept my attention and gave me a few chuckles on the way to and from work.
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- Anonymous User
- 05-10-24
It Twisted My “Mellon”, Man
Barry’s humour is as natural as ever and never comes off ham fisted. The novel had a great pace overall and the entire cast of characters made me smile chapter after chapter. Glory be to all the Glades men that inspired this highly entertaining romp.
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- Terre
- 08-13-24
Ridiculousness at its finest!
I stumbled upon this when I needed something to read and it was available. I got
it from the library. I loved it so I bought it on Audible. While Dave doesn't do different voices (which is a pet peeve of mine) I feel like his tone is perfect for the book, also he clarifies who is speaking so even without a specific voice for that person it is obvious who is talking. This story is ridiculous, but as is mentioned in the book a few times, "it is Florida". So the book is explaining why it is such a ridiculous story. Also the story is clearly poking fun at social media and how things become viral and sensations. The story is crazy and I love it. I will listen to it again knowing what is going to happen. I will get mad at the jerks, cry at the sweet moments, laugh at the funny bits, and rejoice when good things happen. It is a fun read!!
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- PaintbrushPie
- 07-26-23
Great Listen
Love Dave Barry books! This was funny and all the loose ends tied up nicely.
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- P. Gonsky
- 05-14-23
Fun Dave Barry romp
A classic piece of Florida wacky fiction. Dave highlights his usual premise: it’s so crazy it just might be true against the backdrop of social media silliness and the fall of “old-school” journalist. But mainly, it’s a fun read.
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- "robynd"
- 05-12-23
Hilarious, fun, truly Florida
I was looking for a lighter, fun and funny read for summer, and this truly hit the right notes with me. Dave Barry has a unique eye for Florida culture and does an excellent job of turning out a terrific tale with lots of twists. Loved it.
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- Steve Hartman
- 05-30-23
What a story!
Great fun with off, but we’ll developed characters. Fun read with lots of wit. Read it!
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- Anonymous User
- 05-31-23
Enjoyed it
It seems to be written as a movie script.
I am sure it will be a movie soon
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
- kdub711
- 06-08-23
Get the Printed Version
Good story that could have been great. This audio made me realize professional voice actors have a purpose - use them! I love Dave Barry, but I hope he never narrates anything again. He missed the mark on emphasis, delivery and character identity. I will buy whatever the next book is, but if he’s narrating then I’ll buy it in print.
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