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Hosed
- Narrated by: Jacob Morgan, Virginia Rose
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
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Publisher's summary
The world’s sexiest firefighter is about to get a second chance with the virgin next door....
He’s bossy, arrogant, and so ridiculously hot that he should come with a warning label and a pair of flame-retardant coveralls.
He’s also the boy who broke my heart when we were in high school.
I want to move in next door to Ryan O’Dell the way I want to be the virgin gamer geek suddenly in charge of running my sister’s sex-toy factory. Too bad both are written in my stars.
Yeah, I’m the world’s oldest virgin code-writing nerd. And he’s the world’s hottest firefighter. And even though he intimidates the heck out of me, I can’t seem to control my libido when he’s around.
Where is my dignity? My self-respect? My panties?
Seriously...have you seen them? Anyone?
Maybe they’re hiding in his bedroom. With my heart.
Yeah, I know. I’m hosed. So hosed.
Hosed is a steamy, fun romantic comedy between a firefighter and the virgin nerd next door, complete with a pet raccoon, scandalous gossip, and dildo football. (No, really.) This romance has no cheating or cliff-hangers and ends with a banging-hot happily ever after.
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Jordan Carpenter thinks she's finally found the perfect candidate for Jilted, a new dating show about runaway grooms: firefighter Luke Elliott, a known player who's left not one but three brides at the altar. She ends up on a flight to Montana to recruit him in person. It's not Manhattan, but at least the locals in Lucky Hollow seem friendly...except for Luke, who's more intense - and way hotter - than the slick womanizer Jordan expected. Eager to put the past behind him, Luke has zero intention of following this gorgeous, fast-talking city girl back to New York.
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I Fought to Finish This, Took Me Days!
- By Erica Walker on 06-27-22
By: Lauren Layne
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About a Dog
- By: Jenn McKinlay
- Narrated by: Allyson Ryan
- Length: 9 hrs and 33 mins
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Mackenzie "Mac" Harris fled her hometown of Bluff Point, Maine after being left at the altar and seeking solace in the arms of her best friend's off-limits brother, Gavin. Seven years later, she's back to attend her best friend's wedding, and she figures she's safe now from the mistakes of her youth. But Gavin, the town's veterinarian, has never forgotten the woman who has always held his heart. And when Mac rescues a stray puppy named Tulip, only Gavin can help.
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I want more dog!
- By Victoria J. Mejia-Gewe on 05-31-17
By: Jenn McKinlay
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Fresh Catch
- By: Kate Canterbary
- Narrated by: Noah Michael Levine, Chris Chappell
- Length: 5 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Take a vacation, they said. Get away from Silicon Valley's backstabbing and power-grabbing. Recharge the innovative batteries. Unwind, then come back stronger than ever. Instead, I got lost at sea and fell in love with an antisocial lobsterman. There's one small issue: Owen Bartlett doesn't know who I am. Who I really am.
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salty sweet
- By Stacey Oliver on 09-10-18
By: Kate Canterbary
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Animal Magnetism
- Animal Magnetism Series, Book 1
- By: Jill Shalvis
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In this debut to an exciting new series, Lilah Young has lived in Sunshine, Idaho, all her life, while pilot-for-hire Brady Miller is just passing through. But he soon has Lilah abandoning her instincts and giving in to a primal desire. Contains mature themes.
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Bordering on irresponsible
- By GP on 03-01-13
By: Jill Shalvis
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Simply Irresistible
- By: Jill Shalvis
- Narrated by: Celeste Ciulla
- Length: 9 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The proof is irrefutable: Jill Shalvis is a USA Today best-selling author whose romantic fiction is one part steam, one part soul-lifting laughter. After leaving an abusive relationship, Maddie Moore heads to Lucky Harbor, Washington, and vows to channel her inner tough girl—and land the man of her dreams.
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Almost too perfect...
- By SIMARA on 03-26-12
By: Jill Shalvis
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Loving Cara
- Love Under the Big Sky
- By: Kristen Proby
- Narrated by: Deacon Lee, Elizabeth Louise
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Cara Donovan's summer tutoring job is turning out to be a challenge - and not just because of her troubled 12-year-old student. It's his uncle Josh who's the real problem. If problem is the word for an irresistibly cocky, muscle-bound rancher with a taste for tight Levi's and shameless flirtation…Cara is nothing like the wallflower Josh King remembers good-naturedly teasing in high school. This Cara is gorgeous, confident, fun. From the moment the fiery teacher steps foot on his family's Lazy K Ranch, the stubborn playboy is determined to corral her. So what happens when his luscious lover takes over the reins?
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3.5 stars Good but not great
- By Lia on 02-08-14
By: Kristen Proby
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Say You'll Be Mine
- By: Maria Luis
- Narrated by: Jae Delane
- Length: 10 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Twelve years and too many pairs of stilettos later, Shaelyn Lawrence is back where she started: New Orleans. She's returned only to take care of her grandmother, and after that? She's out, hopefully long before she sees irresistible Brady Taylor, the boy who stomped all over her heart. But when a family member approaches her for help, there's only one person she can to turn to...and he's just as infuriatingly sexy as she remembers. Oh boy. New Orleans Detective Brady Taylor has his sights on the finish line: getting promoted to sergeant.
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Horrible Narration Ruined the Entire Book
- By JC on 07-07-20
By: Maria Luis
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Undeclared
- The Woodlands, Book 1
- By: Jen Frederick
- Narrated by: Connor Kelly-Eiding, Andrew Eiden
- Length: 8 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For four years, Grace Sullivan wrote to a Marine she never met, and fell in love. But when his deployment ended, so did the letters. Ever since that day, Grace has been coasting, academically and emotionally. The one thing she's decided? No way is Noah Jackson - or any man - ever going to break her heart again.
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Swoon
- By KH on 09-18-14
By: Jen Frederick
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Mend
- By: Chelle Bliss
- Narrated by: Natalie Duke, Rock Engle
- Length: 6 hrs and 19 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Story
Before senior year, I was forced to move away, leaving behind the only man I have ever loved. He promised he'd love me forever. He vowed nothing would tear us apart. He swore he'd wait for me, but Jack lied. Six years later, when our paths cross again, his broad shoulders, rock-hard chest, and rippling muscles almost make me forget his betrayal. His rugged voice, tempting lips, and sinful smile make it harder for me to deny the feelings I still have for him. He wants to make me his again, but our past may be too much for us to overcome.
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4 solid stars
- By Carissa R. on 07-18-19
By: Chelle Bliss
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All I Want for Halloween
- By: Marie Harte
- Narrated by: Brenda Eddie
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Halloween has always been Sadie Liberato's favorite holiday. She's kept men at a distance since her last break-up, but tonight she plans to let go. Dressed up and anonymous, Sadie feels sexy, powerful, and free. Where better to lose herself than at a masked party? Harrison Gear Blackstone needs a break. Halloween isn't normally his thing, but, after his reality show went downhill, he sees the appeal of hiding his infamous face and cutting loose. Snark and sparks fly when an adult spin-the-bottle game pairs Gear and Sadie together.
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cliché
- By Rebekah on 10-11-23
By: Marie Harte
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The One You Want
- The Original Heartbreakers, Book 0.5
- By: Gena Showalter
- Narrated by: Savannah Richards
- Length: 4 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Kenna Starr will do anything to overcome her bad-girl past in Gena Showalter's The One You Want. Dane Michaelson is rich, sexy and plays hard, exactly the kind of guy she needs to avoid, but he's used to getting what he wants, and he wants her.
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The one you DON'T want
- By SIMARA on 05-13-15
By: Gena Showalter
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The Troublemaker Next Door
- By: Marie Harte
- Narrated by: Anne Gray
- Length: 9 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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It's been the day from hell for Maddie Gardner. Instead of offering her a promotion, her boss made a pass at her. After she quit, she got dumped by her lukewarm boyfriend. And then when she's in the middle of a foul-mouthed meltdown in her kitchen, she notices her gorgeous green-eyed neighbor standing there.
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This one could not hold my attention.
- By SS on 07-04-18
By: Marie Harte
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Immature, barely any narration from his POV
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It was just a typical Monday. Until the big boss asked me to make the pitch for a prospective new client. After two years on shaky ground at work because of my screw up, an opportunity to impress the senior partners was just what I needed. Or so I thought, until I walked into the conference room and collided with the man I was supposed to pitch to. My coffee spilled, my files tumbled to the ground, and I almost lost my balance. And that was the good part of my day. Because the gorgeous man who crouched down and looked at me like he wanted to eat me alive was none other than my ex.
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What listeners say about Hosed
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Dana Frail
- 02-19-19
Literally laughed out loud!
Enjoyed this narration and story. Laughed out loud! What an enjoyable way to spend an evening.
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- Jessica
- 05-30-19
Laugh Out Loud Funny
Laugh out loud funny rom com that immerses you in the town of Happy Cat, GA, a town full of real characters! Come for the love story between Cassie and Ryan, and Ryan's pet raccoon, George Cooney, and stay for the bonus epilogue! Best bonus epilogue ever!
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- Kara Schmidt
- 02-02-19
#ILoveGeorgeCooney and Co 🦄👨🏼🚒🔥🦝
This was a funny and quirky book with a few “what the Huh?” moments (anyone else still trying to visualize the what the huh and how toilet scene?) that was a perfect palate cleanser for my mind after I just finished a dark and heavy book. It was cute, funny, a bit silly and fanciful with a side of sweet and just enough sour to keep one engaged with its crazy cast of characters. #ILoveGeorgeCooney The narrators are awesome as usual and some of my favorites! Take this book for what it is...a BackDraft, Tommy Boy and Mayberry Rom-Com mixed into a magically delicious book of lucky charm unicorn dildo’s and enjoy!
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- Shirley M
- 03-13-19
enjoyed the book
loved the book
was good audio was funny and interesting would recommend it again to someone
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- CAP1491
- 01-25-19
Funny and hot
From the very first chapter, I was laughing. This is a story I needed.
Virginia Rose’s narration was so good, she’s quickly becoming my favorite female narrator. Jacob Morgan honestly brings this book to life though. Sure, he does the super sexy voice to perfection, but his female voices are brilliant. It’s such a joy to listen to him.
Yes, the bonus epilogue is hilariously genius, too. Get this, you will not regret it.
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- Lydia Rella
- 01-25-19
Sex toys & George Cooney make for a must-listen!
Straight out-I LOVED Hosed! It was hot, hilarious and spit-your-coffee out funny. I am George Cooney's #1 fan, so please do not claim him as your next BBF. Pippa Grant and Lili Valente's writing was hysterical. The sexiness was great and the mystery just enough to keep my brain curious but not overwhelmed for a rom-com.
The narration by Jacob Morgan and Virginia Rose was sublime. Jacob Morgan always delivers and this is no exception. He consistently hits all the right emotional notes when needed and is always sexy in his delivery. Virginia Rose was exceptional and well cast. She brings the drama without being overly dramatic (which I find is a pitfall for some narrators) and has one of my most desired attributes in a narrator: authenticity.
The bonus epilogue will have you hooting with laughter and is the shiny cherry on top! I am now shopping for a pet raccoon and I blame Lili and Pippa. A definite must-listen that's going on my Best of 2019 list already. Definitely worth a credit! #auralfixation
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- Heabooknurse
- 01-23-20
Cute!
Super cute super funny no angsts happily ever after romance. Virgins rose and Jacob Morgan both had great performances. The story was so adorable. And nothing better than a trash panda to make a story better.
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- AlohaMama🌺
- 01-30-19
By George I Think She's Got It!!!
2/26/21- Updated review. This book is still hilarious, sexy, quirky, adorable & just a plain breath of fresh air. It is better the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th time around. Seriously I almost pee my pants in a few spots. I dont get those reviews that call this book boring? I think those who find it boring or bad should try writing a book then we will see who's boring. I am forever thankful for authors like Pippa grant. Who have helped me through chemo, yard work, depression & so much more. Life is too short not to enjoy!
First, you get bonus points it you know where the review title originated.
Secondly, this was an automatic buy for me when it hit the Audible library. I cannot resist Jacob Morgan & Lili Valente.
Lastly, this book was an AMAZING work of art. Fun & Funny! Sweet & Sexy! Happy & Sappy!
It was simply PERFECTION!!!
I must also add that I enjoyed Virginia Rose as Cassie and look forward to listening to more by her. Pippa's work is also new to me but again I'll be looking for more of her work. With over 900 titles in my Audible library it is not often that I write a review like this. But i was soooooooo
thrilled with this book that I was inspired to review it. As I write this I have already begun a second listen. I just cant get enough of Happy Cat🐱, Sunshine🌞 , Cassie❤Ryan & George 🐼.
WORTH A CREDIT AND MORE!!! I hope you enjoy it even a fraction as much as I did.
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- Sweet Reads and Treats - Mere
- 02-01-21
Laughed out loud and no shame in my game
This was a super fun story with more than a dash of silliness that made it very enjoyable. It almost borders on ludicrous but honestly I found myself laughing more than anything else. Additionally while I'm sure this is a fun read, it's a great listen. The audio book had me LOLing more than once. And no spoiler, the epilogue. I AM DEAD. Jacob Morgan had me about to pee in my pants laughing. Virginia Rose plays his other half and they balance well with each other. I would highly recommend this if you need a break from suspense and angst. It was a sweet treat to laugh that much at a book.
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- gretareadsromance
- 11-20-20
What a fun book!
Hosed introduced me to the town of Happy Cat where hot firefighters have raccoons as pets and a sex toy factory is tearing apart the town.
This is my first read by this author and I cannot wait to continue this series. It was funny and steamy and the characters were people I would want to know. This small town romance has it all. The gossipy townsfolk were hysterical and I loved their town chats.
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