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Hosed

By: Lili Valente, Pippa Grant
Narrated by: Jacob Morgan, Virginia Rose
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Publisher's summary

The world’s sexiest firefighter is about to get a second chance with the virgin next door....

He’s bossy, arrogant, and so ridiculously hot that he should come with a warning label and a pair of flame-retardant coveralls.

He’s also the boy who broke my heart when we were in high school.

I want to move in next door to Ryan O’Dell the way I want to be the virgin gamer geek suddenly in charge of running my sister’s sex-toy factory. Too bad both are written in my stars.

Yeah, I’m the world’s oldest virgin code-writing nerd. And he’s the world’s hottest firefighter. And even though he intimidates the heck out of me, I can’t seem to control my libido when he’s around.

Where is my dignity? My self-respect? My panties?

Seriously...have you seen them? Anyone?

Maybe they’re hiding in his bedroom. With my heart.

Yeah, I know. I’m hosed. So hosed.

Hosed is a steamy, fun romantic comedy between a firefighter and the virgin nerd next door, complete with a pet raccoon, scandalous gossip, and dildo football. (No, really.) This romance has no cheating or cliff-hangers and ends with a banging-hot happily ever after.

©2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente (P)2019 Pippa Grant and Lili Valente
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What listeners say about Hosed

Average customer ratings
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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Literally laughed out loud!

Enjoyed this narration and story. Laughed out loud! What an enjoyable way to spend an evening.

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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Laugh Out Loud Funny

Laugh out loud funny rom com that immerses you in the town of Happy Cat, GA, a town full of real characters! Come for the love story between Cassie and Ryan, and Ryan's pet raccoon, George Cooney, and stay for the bonus epilogue! Best bonus epilogue ever!

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1 person found this helpful

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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

#ILoveGeorgeCooney and Co 🦄👨🏼‍🚒🔥🦝

This was a funny and quirky book with a few “what the Huh?” moments (anyone else still trying to visualize the what the huh and how toilet scene?) that was a perfect palate cleanser for my mind after I just finished a dark and heavy book. It was cute, funny, a bit silly and fanciful with a side of sweet and just enough sour to keep one engaged with its crazy cast of characters. #ILoveGeorgeCooney The narrators are awesome as usual and some of my favorites! Take this book for what it is...a BackDraft, Tommy Boy and Mayberry Rom-Com mixed into a magically delicious book of lucky charm unicorn dildo’s and enjoy!

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    5 out of 5 stars
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enjoyed the book

loved the book
was good audio was funny and interesting would recommend it again to someone

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Funny and hot

From the very first chapter, I was laughing. This is a story I needed.

Virginia Rose’s narration was so good, she’s quickly becoming my favorite female narrator. Jacob Morgan honestly brings this book to life though. Sure, he does the super sexy voice to perfection, but his female voices are brilliant. It’s such a joy to listen to him.

Yes, the bonus epilogue is hilariously genius, too. Get this, you will not regret it.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Sex toys & George Cooney make for a must-listen!

Straight out-I LOVED Hosed! It was hot, hilarious and spit-your-coffee out funny. I am George Cooney's #1 fan, so please do not claim him as your next BBF. Pippa Grant and Lili Valente's writing was hysterical. The sexiness was great and the mystery just enough to keep my brain curious but not overwhelmed for a rom-com.

The narration by Jacob Morgan and Virginia Rose was sublime. Jacob Morgan always delivers and this is no exception. He consistently hits all the right emotional notes when needed and is always sexy in his delivery. Virginia Rose was exceptional and well cast. She brings the drama without being overly dramatic (which I find is a pitfall for some narrators) and has one of my most desired attributes in a narrator: authenticity.

The bonus epilogue will have you hooting with laughter and is the shiny cherry on top! I am now shopping for a pet raccoon and I blame Lili and Pippa. A definite must-listen that's going on my Best of 2019 list already. Definitely worth a credit! #auralfixation

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Cute!

Super cute super funny no angsts happily ever after romance. Virgins rose and Jacob Morgan both had great performances. The story was so adorable. And nothing better than a trash panda to make a story better.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

By George I Think She's Got It!!!

2/26/21- Updated review. This book is still hilarious, sexy, quirky, adorable & just a plain breath of fresh air. It is better the 2nd, 3rd, 4th and 5th time around. Seriously I almost pee my pants in a few spots. I dont get those reviews that call this book boring? I think those who find it boring or bad should try writing a book then we will see who's boring. I am forever thankful for authors like Pippa grant. Who have helped me through chemo, yard work, depression & so much more. Life is too short not to enjoy!

First, you get bonus points it you know where the review title originated.

Secondly, this was an automatic buy for me when it hit the Audible library. I cannot resist Jacob Morgan & Lili Valente.

Lastly, this book was an AMAZING work of art. Fun & Funny! Sweet & Sexy! Happy & Sappy!
It was simply PERFECTION!!!

I must also add that I enjoyed Virginia Rose as Cassie and look forward to listening to more by her. Pippa's work is also new to me but again I'll be looking for more of her work. With over 900 titles in my Audible library it is not often that I write a review like this. But i was soooooooo
thrilled with this book that I was inspired to review it. As I write this I have already begun a second listen. I just cant get enough of Happy Cat🐱, Sunshine🌞 , Cassie❤Ryan & George 🐼.

WORTH A CREDIT AND MORE!!! I hope you enjoy it even a fraction as much as I did.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Laughed out loud and no shame in my game

This was a super fun story with more than a dash of silliness that made it very enjoyable. It almost borders on ludicrous but honestly I found myself laughing more than anything else. Additionally while I'm sure this is a fun read, it's a great listen. The audio book had me LOLing more than once. And no spoiler, the epilogue. I AM DEAD. Jacob Morgan had me about to pee in my pants laughing. Virginia Rose plays his other half and they balance well with each other. I would highly recommend this if you need a break from suspense and angst. It was a sweet treat to laugh that much at a book.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

What a fun book!

Hosed introduced me to the town of Happy Cat where hot firefighters have raccoons as pets and a sex toy factory is tearing apart the town.

This is my first read by this author and I cannot wait to continue this series. It was funny and steamy and the characters were people I would want to know. This small town romance has it all. The gossipy townsfolk were hysterical and I loved their town chats.

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