How to Live Like a Supervillain
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Narrated by:
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David Sabol
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By:
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Amanda Lash
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Dou7g
About this listen
Disclaimer: This is a humorous piece of writing intended for a mature audience over 18. All characters are over 18. This is possibly helpful advice from Poison, a knife wielding super strong supervillain in the world of "The Crisis" and "Crisis on Just One Earth" It is advice about how to live like a supervillain even if you don't have any powers and don't want to go to jail. It's all about attitude.
Excerpts:
On high school:
- Don't get arrested. Super villains don't get caught.
- Break the rules. A life without detention isn't worth living.
On dating:
- Anyone can sleep with a sorority girl. They're looking to get laid. Figure out how to get a smart girl in bed. That's a challenge. And she might teach you something.
- Women in airports will usually say yes.
On supervillainy:
- If you and your friend take two strange girls back to a hotel room, one of you has to be awake at all times. Sleep in shifts. You never know who's going to try and kill you.
- If your wife is a telekinetic and telepath who can crush your balls with a wave of her hand, you may want to reconsider lying to her as an option.
- Capes are for people who can lift a skyscraper or pretentious assholes. My best friend The Crisis wears a cape. Nobody's perfect.
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brilliant and tragic
- By Timothy Trujillo on 08-12-18
By: Ralphie May, and others
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Crash and Burn
- By: Artie Lange, Anthony Bozza
- Narrated by: Sean Runnette
- Length: 10 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
- By Hilary on 11-07-13
By: Artie Lange, and others
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor
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Dirty Thirty
- By: Asa Akira
- Narrated by: Veronica Worthington
- Length: 5 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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As she contemplates turning 30 years old while still being in the adult film trade, Asa Akira, author of the best-seller Insatiable, delves into her past, present, and future, exploring the events that brought her to where she is now and the surprising and insightful plans she has for her future. Internationally known as a porn star, Akira's perceptive, funny, and straightforward writings on love, sex, death, marriage, and celebrity come together in a surprising book of essays.
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this was fun I'm going to buy her other book 2
- By Sir Lawrence on 01-09-19
By: Asa Akira
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Ask Wendy
- By: Wendy Williams
- Narrated by: Wendy Williams
- Length: 5 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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On TV, Wendy only has a few minutes to respond to each audience member, but in Ask Wendy she goes deeper, answering questions sourced from viewers across the country. No question is off-limits and no situation is too outrageous for her to take on. Wendy shoots straight from those womanly hips of hers to help you manage all the crazy that comes into your life - keepin' it real by drawing on the personal experiences that have shaped her unique perspective.
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HIlarious
- By Shelley Thomas-Robinson on 10-24-17
By: Wendy Williams
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He's a Stud, She's a Slut, and 49 Other Double Standards Every Woman Should Know
- By: Jessica Valenti
- Narrated by: Julie McKay
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Double standards are nothing new. Women deal with them every day. Take the common truism that women who sleep around are sluts while men are studs. Why is it that men grow distinguished and sexily gray as they age while women just get saggy and haggard? Have you ever wondered how a young woman is supposed to both virginal and provocatively enticing at the same time?
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A well acted intro to feminist consciousness
- By Amazon Customer on 02-28-24
By: Jessica Valenti
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Loudmouth
- Tales (and Fantasies) of Sports, Sex, and Salvation from Behind the Microphone
- By: Craig Carton
- Narrated by: Craig Carton
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In this debut, Carton invites the listener to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio's craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.
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Fun but too much about early life
- By Anthony A. Ciaccio on 07-13-13
By: Craig Carton
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Pain Killer
- A Memoir of Big League Addiction
- By: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg - foreword
- Narrated by: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Brantt Myhres wasn't around for the birth of his daughter. Myhres had played for seven different NHL teams, and had made millions. But he'd been suspended four times, all for drug use, and he had partied his way out of the league. This is his story, in his own words, of how he fought his way out of minor hockey into the big league, but never left behind the ghosts of a bleak and troubled childhood.
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I love hockey.
- By Brew2go on 06-14-21
By: Brantt Myhres, and others
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The Diva Rules
- Ditch the Drama, Find Your Strength, and Sparkle Your Way to the Top
- By: Michelle Visage
- Narrated by: Michelle Visage
- Length: 3 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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Michelle Visage is not your average diva. Powerful, positive, and polished, this diva's not only glamorous, she's a savvy businesswoman with serious credentials who works her tail off. From her days vogueing in the downtown Manhattan clubs in the '90s to her successful career in radio and her ultimate cult status as a judge on RuPaul's Drag Race, Michelle has achieved her dreams and then some!
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A Whole Lot of Nothing
- By teal on 04-29-16
By: Michelle Visage
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Tied Up in Knots
- How Getting What They Wanted Has Made Women Miserable
- By: Andrea Tantaros
- Narrated by: Andrea Tantaros
- Length: 8 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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In this shocking, funny, and bluntly honest tour of today's gender discontents, Andrea Tantaros, one of Fox News' most popular and outspoken stars, exposes how the rightful feminist pursuit of equality went too far, and how the unintended pitfalls of that power trade have made women (and men!) miserable.
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Not What I Thought It Would Be
- By Kevin on 05-06-16
By: Andrea Tantaros