Too Fat to Fish
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Narrated by:
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Artie Lange
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By:
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Artie Lange
About this listen
A natural storyteller with a bottomless pit of material, Lange grew up in a close-knit, working-class Italian family in Union, New Jersey, as a maniacal Yankees fan who pursued the two things his father said he was cut out for: sports and comedy. Tragically, Artie Lange Sr. never saw the truth in that prediction. He became a quadriplegic in an accident when Artie was 18 and died soon after. But as with every trial in his life, from his drug addiction to his obesity, to his fights with his mother, Artie mines the humor, pathos, and humanity in these events and turns them into comedy classics.
True fans of the Stern Show will find Artie gold in these pages: hilarious tales that couldn't have happened to anyone else. There are stories from his days driving a Jersey cab, working as a longshoreman in Port Newark, and navigating the dark circuit of stand-up comedy. There are outrageous episodes from the frenzied heights of his coked-up days at MADtv, surprisingly moving stories from his childhood, and an account of his recent U.S.O. tour that is equally stirring and irreverent. But also in this volume are stories Artie's never told before, including some that he deemed too revealing for radio.
Wild, shocking, and drop-dead hilarious, Too Fat to Fish is Artie Lange giving everything he's got to give. And like a true pro, the man never disappoints.
©2008 Artie Lang (P)2008 Random HouseListeners also enjoyed...
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The New York Times best-selling biography of an American comedy legend. After three years of sobriety, Chris Farley's life was at its creative peak until a string of professional disappointments chased him back to drugs and alcohol. He fought hard against them, but it was a fight he would lose in December 1997. Farley's fans immediately drew parallels between his death and that of his idol, John Belushi. Without looking deeper, however, many failed to see that Farley was much more than just another Hollywood drug overdose. In this officially authorized oral history, Farley's friends and family remember his work and life.
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Incredibly sad....
- By Marie B on 04-12-15
By: Tom Farley, and others
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Digging Up Mother
- A Love Story
- By: Johnny Depp - foreword, Doug Stanhope
- Narrated by: Doug Stanhope and Friends
- Length: 12 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Doug Stanhope is one of the most critically acclaimed and stridently unrepentant comedians of his generation. What will surprise some is that he owes so much of his dark and sometimes uncomfortably honest sense of humor to his mother, Bonnie.
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Not my thing.
- By J. Harral on 01-27-18
By: Johnny Depp - foreword, and others
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Easy for You to Say
- By: John Melendez
- Narrated by: John Melendez
- Length: 6 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Easy For You To Say is "Stuttering" John Melendez's memoir of his childhood being bullied in school for his stutter; his years as an on-air personality with The Howard Stern Show; and his subsequent 10-year career as a writer and on-air announcer for Jay Leno's Tonight Show. It details his famously acerbic relationships with celebrities he interviewed/insulted (Raquel Welch once punched him in the face). In the audiobook, Howard Stern emerges as a surprisingly mean, stingy, and megalomaniacal boss - and Jay Leno as a seeming sufferer from OCD.
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Was expecting more
- By Amazon Customer on 10-25-18
By: John Melendez
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The Filthy Truth
- By: Andrew Dice Clay, David Ritz
- Narrated by: Bruce Rubenstein
- Length: 8 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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In this unapologetic and uncensored autobiography, Andrew Dice Clay is ready to set the record straight. He was the eighties’ answer to Lenny Bruce, with material that stretched the boundaries of decency and good taste to their breaking point, and in turn became the most vilified stand-up comic of all time.
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The Diceman Returns!
- By Steven D. Sorrell on 03-26-15
By: Andrew Dice Clay, and others
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Loudmouth
- Tales (and Fantasies) of Sports, Sex, and Salvation from Behind the Microphone
- By: Craig Carton
- Narrated by: Craig Carton
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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In this debut, Carton invites the listener to join him as he recounts tales from his suburban youth, defends his long-held love affair with the New York Jets, reminisces about the shenanigans of some of the highest paid and most celebrated athletes playing today, and reflects on his work as one of radio's craftiest, most hilarious personalities ever to get behind the microphone.
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Fun but too much about early life
- By Anthony A. Ciaccio on 07-13-13
By: Craig Carton
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Dirty Daddy
- The Chronicles of a Family Man Turned Filthy Comedian
- By: Bob Saget
- Narrated by: Bob Saget
- Length: 6 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Millions of viewers know and love Bob Saget from his role as the sweetly neurotic father on the smash hit Full House, and as the charming wisecracking host of America's Funniest Home Videos. And then there are the legions of fans who can't get enough of his scatological, out-of-his-mind stand-up routines, comedy specials, and outrageously profane performances in such shows as HBO's Entourage and the hit documentary The Aristocrats.
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Meh to the 2nd Power
- By Hilary on 06-30-14
By: Bob Saget
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Bare Bones
- I'm Not Lonely If You're Reading This Book
- By: Bobby Bones
- Narrated by: Bobby Bones
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up poor in Mountain Pine, Arkansas, with a young, addicted mom, Bobby Estell fell in love with country music. Abandoned by his father at the age of five, Bobby saw the radio as his way out - a dream that came true in college when he went on air at the Henderson State University campus station broadcasting as Bobby Bones while simultaneously starting The Bobby Bones Show at 105.9 KLAZ.
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A look inside the narcissist life of Bobby Bones.
- By Selena on 05-20-16
By: Bobby Bones
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The Improv
- An Oral History of the Comedy Club That Revolutionized Stand-Up
- By: Budd Friedman, Tripp Whetsell, Jay Leno - foreword
- Narrated by: Johnny Heller
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1963, 30-year-old Friedman - who had recently quit his job as a Boston advertising executive and returned to his hometown of New York to become a theatrical producer - opened a coffee house for Broadway performers called the Improvisation. His goal? Simply to make a living, and if all went according to plan, to also make enough professional contacts to be able to mount his first Broadway show within a year's time. Later shortened to the Improv, its first West 44th Street location was in a seedy section of Manhattan's Hell's Kitchen.
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Shockingly tone deaf
- By JenniferW on 06-28-23
By: Budd Friedman, and others
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Coreyography
- By: Corey Feldman
- Narrated by: Corey Feldman
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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In this brave and moving memoir, Corey Feldman is revealing the truth about what his life was like behind the scenes: His is a past that included physical, drug, and sexual abuse, a dysfunctional family from which he was emancipated at age fifteen, three high-profile arrests for drug possession, a nine-month stint in rehab, and a long, slow crawl back to the top of the box office.
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Didn't like the Two Coreys, but liked this.
- By ricketsj on 04-29-14
By: Corey Feldman
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You're Better than Me
- A Memoir
- By: Bonnie McFarlane
- Narrated by: Bonnie McFarlane, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 7 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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In the spirit of Mindy Kaling, Kelly Oxford, and Sarah Silverman, a compulsively listenable and outrageously funny memoir of growing up as a fish out of water, finding your voice, and embracing your inner crazy person from popular actress, writer, and comedian Bonnie McFarlane.
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Sandy!!! She wrote a book...it's crazy, a book!!!
- By Jonathan Placek on 03-02-16
By: Bonnie McFarlane
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Dynomite!
- Good Times, Bad Times…Our Times - A Memoir
- By: Jimmie Walker, Sal Manna
- Narrated by: Jimmie Walker
- Length: 9 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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>Born into the violence of South Bronx ghetto life, the comic pioneer of TV’s Good Times fame offers a hilarious and politically charged review of his career as one of television’s first hugely successful Black stars. From opening for the Black Panthers and getting his first Tonight Show spot to becoming the first “Black” TV sitcom star, having comedians David Letterman and Jay Leno writing jokes for him, recording number-one comedy albums, and opening for rock n’ roll bands in 50,000 seat stadiums, Walker’s career hit all the highs.
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An transparent story of a socially but funny American icon.
- By John Lucasey on 05-08-21
By: Jimmie Walker, and others
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The Todd Glass Situation
- A Bunch of Lies about My Personal Life and a Bunch of True Stories about My 30-Year Career in Standup Comedy
- By: Todd Glass, Jonathan Grotenstein
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 6 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Growing up in a Philadelphia suburb in the 1970s was an easy life. Well, easy as long as you didn't have dyslexia or ADD, or were a Jew. And once you added gay into the mix, life became more difficult. So Todd Glass decided to hide the gay part, no matter how comic, tragic, or comically tragic the results. Now, Todd has written an open, honest, and hilarious memoir in an effort to help everyone - young and old, gay and straight - breathe a little more freely.
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Worth It
- By Heather on 11-17-14
By: Todd Glass, and others
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Pain Killer
- A Memoir of Big League Addiction
- By: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg - foreword
- Narrated by: Brantt Myhres, Michael Landsberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Brantt Myhres wasn't around for the birth of his daughter. Myhres had played for seven different NHL teams, and had made millions. But he'd been suspended four times, all for drug use, and he had partied his way out of the league. This is his story, in his own words, of how he fought his way out of minor hockey into the big league, but never left behind the ghosts of a bleak and troubled childhood.
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I love hockey.
- By Brew2go on 06-14-21
By: Brantt Myhres, and others
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American on Purpose
- The Improbable Adventures of an Unlikely Patriot
- By: Craig Ferguson
- Narrated by: Craig Ferguson
- Length: 7 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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In American on Purpose, Craig Ferguson delivers a moving and achingly funny memoir of living the American dream as he journeys from the mean streets of Glasgow, Scotland, to the comedic promised land of Hollywood. Along the way, he stumbles through several attempts to make his mark - as a punk rock musician, a construction worker, a bouncer, and, tragically, a modern dancer.
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Unabashedly Honest
- By Diane on 12-09-09
By: Craig Ferguson
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Robert Altman
- The Oral Biography
- By: Mitchell Zuckoff
- Narrated by: Robert Altman, Warren Beatty, Cher, and others
- Length: 18 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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Robert Altman - visionary director, hard-partying hedonist, eccentric family man, Hollywood legend - comes roaring to life in this rollicking cinematic biography, told in a chorus of voices that can only be called Altmanesque.
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Enthralling!
- By Wise & Careful Shopper on 10-17-10
By: Mitchell Zuckoff
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At a high point in his career, Artie Lange performed a sold-out show in Carnegie Hall-and he did it with a pocketful of heroin. In the midst of a deep, self-destructive depression, addicted to heroin, cocaine, and prescription drugs, he lashed out at everyone around him-from his cohosts on The Howard Stern Show to celebrity guests and even his longtime friends. Then came his legendary meltdown on-air, with 6 million people listening, after which Lange pulled himself together enough to go to a buddy's bachelor party in Amsterdam.
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who needs Artie (to read)
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One of pop culture’s great enduring unsung heroes: Gary Dell’Abate, Howard Stern Show producer, miracle worker, professional good sport, and servant to the King of All Media, for the first time tells the story of his early years and reveals how his chaotic childhood and early obsessions prepared him for life at the center of the greatest show on Earth. Baba Booey! Baba Booey! It was a slip of the tongue - that unfortunately was heard by a few million listeners - but in that split second a nickname, a persona, a rallying cry, and a phenomenon was born.
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Gary's performance was a 9, but his story was a 2.
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For the first time, Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling opens up about his life as a cast member and head writer for the comedy powerhouse The Howard Stern Show. In The Joke Man: Bow to Stern, Jackie tells of his beginnings as a working comedian and writer and his climb to the top on The Howard Stern Show. Jackie saw it all, and in The Joke Man: Bow to Stern he shares personal stories as well a look from behind the scenes at one of the highest-rated radio shows of all time.
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Waste of time, and I returned it...
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Outsider. Misfit. Criminal. Convict. . . . Movie star. Family man. Comedy legend. Joey Diaz has been called every name in the book (and then some). Now, for the first time, he shares the story of his unlikely rise to fame in his own words—with no punches pulled.
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Thank you
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Based on a True Story
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When Norm Macdonald, one of the greatest stand-up comics of all time, was approached to write a celebrity memoir, he flatly refused, calling the genre “one step below instruction manuals.” Norm then promptly took a two-year hiatus from stand-up comedy to live on a farm in northern Canada. When he emerged he had under his arm a manuscript, a genre-smashing book about comedy, tragedy, love, loss, war, and redemption. When asked if this was the celebrity memoir, Norm replied, “Call it anything you damn like.”
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Bizarre, funny ride
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[Narrator Fail] Comic Genius+Depression+Drugs=Mess
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Gary's performance was a 9, but his story was a 2.
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The Joke Man
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For the first time, Jackie "The Joke Man" Martling opens up about his life as a cast member and head writer for the comedy powerhouse The Howard Stern Show. In The Joke Man: Bow to Stern, Jackie tells of his beginnings as a working comedian and writer and his climb to the top on The Howard Stern Show. Jackie saw it all, and in The Joke Man: Bow to Stern he shares personal stories as well a look from behind the scenes at one of the highest-rated radio shows of all time.
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What listeners say about Too Fat to Fish
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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Overall
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- richwire
- 10-20-17
Too Fat to Finish
I would have preferred if Artie read the whole book. I was never a big fan of his, I stopped listening to the Stern show when Jackie Martling left - I thought it wasn't as funny without him. But, I like a good story and Artie has some great stories to tell. Some funny, some incredible sad and pitiful. I hope he cleans himself up before it's too late because I'd like to listen to another book from him. If...he reads the whole thing.
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- BrassHat
- 05-02-12
Great Stories
Is there anything you would change about this book?
Seems a bit exagerrated
What was your reaction to the ending? (No spoilers please!)
I enjoyed all the stories, but most were told on the Stern show
Was Too Fat to Fish worth the listening time?
Only if you dont know the stories from the Stern Show
Any additional comments?
I Love Artie Lange!!!
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- alvin
- 01-02-12
fascinating
Would you listen to Too Fat to Fish again? Why?
i was really surpised how close artie was to his dad
Who was your favorite character and why?
artie of course
What about Artie Lange’s performance did you like?
how he told his story
Did you have an extreme reaction to this book? Did it make you laugh or cry?
some parts funny and some parts very sad
Any additional comments?
i will recommend this book to others
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Overall
- jason belanger
- 02-13-21
amazing book art. your life story is crazy and all
wouls suggest anyone battling the demond to take some time and get this book amazing
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- Tad
- 06-01-15
Amazing!
This is simply amazing in all aspects, my dad loved it as well, it will be on repeat.
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- Gavin
- 12-22-16
Too fat to fish
Great read great stories. I wish Artie could have read the entire book but the other narrators were also very good. I would recommend this audible book.
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- Chris
- 02-23-18
Would be 5 stars if Artie did all the narrating.
Good book great stories, perfect when Artie narrates, but HARD to listen to the other narrators at times when Artie gave up, if you're fairly literate, the narrating will drive you crazy.
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- Nejr
- 12-04-23
Needs to be a movie!
Loved it! 2023 and first time hearing it. Artie’s story can be a Netflix or Hulu series!
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- Dan
- 11-03-24
nice to see the honesty
the author dug deep in insight and really put his life out there. his stories are sadly humorous
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Overall
- J. Johnson
- 02-16-09
Only for big Stern show fans
I bought this because of being a fan of the Howard Stern show and it was the only reason I was able to finish it. The book reads like Artie talks which to some might be a good thing but I didn't think so. Second, Artie quits reading the book himself not even halfway through and has other people do it for him. This wouldn't be so bad except he somehow thought it would be funny to have Bob Levy read part of the book when it's a known fact Bob can barely read.
If you're a fan of the show I'd still recommend buying this, but if you're not then I'd pass on this one.
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6 people found this helpful