I Am Not Myself These Days
A Memoir
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Narrated by:
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Johnny Heller
About this listen
I Am Not Myself These Days follows a glittering journey through Manhattan's dark underbelly---a shocking and surreal world where alter egos reign and subsist (barely) on dark wit and chemicals...a tragic romantic comedy where one begins by rooting for the survival of the relationship and ends by hoping someone simply survives. Kilmer-Purcell is a terrifically gifted new literary voice who straddles the divide between absurdity and normalcy, and stitches them together with surprising humor and lonely poignancy. As Booklist raved, I Am Not Myself These Days is "as tart and funny as a Noel Coward play, for Kilmer-Purcell is especially good at dialogue, and, as in Coward's best plays, under the comedy lies the sad truth that even at our best, we are all weak, fallible fools. Again and again in this rich, adventure-filled book, Kilmer-Purcell illustrates the truth of Blake's proverb, 'The road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom.'"
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Everything about 15-year-old Cat's new town in rural Michigan is lonely and off-kilter until she meets her neighbor, the manic, beautiful, pill-popping Marlena. Cat, inexperienced and desperate for connection, is quickly lured into Marlena's orbit by little more than an arched eyebrow and a shake of white-blond hair. As the two girls turn the untamed landscape of their desolate small town into a kind of playground, Cat catalogues a litany of firsts - first drink, first cigarette, first kiss - while Marlena's habits harden and calcify.
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A Brilliant, Agonizing Portrait of a Young Woman
- By Sudi on 06-06-17
By: Julie Buntin
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So Close
- By: Emma McLaughlin
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Amanda Beth Luker has spent her whole life desperately looking for someone who can show her the way out of her trailer park Florida town. And then, finally, help arrives - in the form of Tom Davis, a successful lawyer with political aspirations who grew up just a few towns over from Amanda. But it's his wife, Lindsay, who really captures Amanda's imagination. Strong, smart, and determined, she gives Amanda something she's never had: a role model.
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I've never been so mad at a book before.
- By Stacie on 06-15-16
By: Emma McLaughlin
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Smashed
- Story of a Drunken Girlhood
- By: Koren Zailckas
- Narrated by: Ellen Archer
- Length: 10 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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From earliest experimentation to habitual excess to full-blown abuse, 24-year-old Koren Zailckas leads us through her experience of a terrifying trend among young girls, exploring how binge drinking becomes routine, how it becomes "the usual". With the stylistic freshness of a poet and the dramatic gifts of a novelist, Zailckas describes her first sip at 14, alcohol poisoning at 16, blacked-out sexual experience at 19, and total disorientation after waking up in an unfamiliar New York City apartment at 22.
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Smashed
- By John Riggs on 07-14-05
By: Koren Zailckas
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When You Call My Name
- By: Tucker Shaw
- Narrated by: Max Meyers
- Length: 12 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Film fanatic Adam is 17 and being asked out on his first date—and the guy is cute. Heart racing, Adam accepts, quickly falling in love with Callum like the movies always promised. Fashion-obsessed Ben is 18 and has just left his home upstate after his mother discovers his hidden stash of gay magazines. When he comes to New York City, Ben’s sexuality begins to feel less like a secret and more like a badge of honor. Then Callum disappears, leaving Adam heartbroken, and Ben finds out his new world is more closed-minded than he thought.
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Full impact of a heavy topic while keeping it within the genre.
- By GnomePatronus on 07-31-24
By: Tucker Shaw
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I Hate Everyone, Except You
- By: Clinton Kelly
- Narrated by: Clinton Kelly
- Length: 4 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Clinton Kelly is probably best known for teaching women how to make their butts look smaller. But in I Hate Everyone, Except You, he reveals some heretofore unknown secrets about himself, like that he's a finicky connoisseur of 1980s pornography, a disillusioned critic of New Jersey's premier water parks, and perhaps the world's least enthused high school commencement speaker.
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Filthy language overshadowed stories
- By Doris on 04-29-17
By: Clinton Kelly
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Why Can't I Be You
- By: Allie Larkin
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When Jenny Shaw hears someone shout "Jessie!" across a hotel lobby, she impulsively answers. All her life, Jenny has toed the line, but something propels her to seize the opportunity to become Jessie Morgan, a woman to whom she bears an uncanny resemblance. Lonely in her own life, Jenny is embraced by Jessie’s warm circle of friends - and finds unexpected romance. But when she delves into Jessie’s past, Jenny discovers a secret that spurs her to take another leap into the unknown.
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Silly
- By Hilary on 05-20-15
By: Allie Larkin
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Stripped
- Happy Endings, Book 1
- By: Zoey Castile
- Narrated by: Carmen Vine, Jacob Morgan
- Length: 8 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The day Robyn Flores meets Zac Fallon is one of those days. You know, when you’re already late for work. Mostly because you haven’t really slept since your best friend abandoned you for her fiancé and her exponentially better life. The kind of day you drag yourself to the cleaners to pick up your laundry, only to discover you’ve got the wrong bag - Star Spangled sequined thong, anyone? So Robyn is definitely not ready for the ridiculously gorgeous guy at her front door, except that they have each other’s clothes. But then, is any woman ever ready to meet the love of her life?
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With Stripped, I was promised a hot, and sexy and an ultimately unforgettable story. AND THAT’S EXACTLY WHAT I GOT.
- By JM Cabral on 10-23-18
By: Zoey Castile
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Bright Lights, Big City
- By: Jay McInerney
- Narrated by: Daniel Passer
- Length: 5 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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The tragicomedy of a young man in New York City, a writer, never named, who works as a fact-checker for a prestigious magazine. He struggles with the reality of his mother's death, alienation, and the seductive pull of drugs and a vibrant nightlife.
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Curiously, mundanely real
- By Amber on 01-07-12
By: Jay McInerney
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30 Before 30
- How I Made a Mess of 20s, and You Can Too
- By: Marina Shifrin
- Narrated by: Marina Shifrin
- Length: 6 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Something was nagging Marina Shifrin. As a freshly minted adult with student loan payments and a “real” job she hated that paid her enough to get by if she also worked two other jobs, something needed to change. Marina and her friend each made lists of 30 things they’d do before the age of 30. The first thing on Marina’s list was, “Quit My Shitty Job”. So she did, and just like that the List powered her through her twenties. Told with humor and heart, 30 Before 30 will entertain, motivate, and challenge listeners to get out of their comfort zones and live their best lives.
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Inspiring read
- By Chris Gledhill on 12-18-18
By: Marina Shifrin
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Chanel Bonfire
- By: Wendy Lawless
- Narrated by: Wendy Lawless
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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By the time Wendy Lawless turned 17, she'd known for quite some time that she didn't have a normal mother. But that didn't stop her from wanting one.... Georgann Rea didn't bake cookies or go to PTA meetings; she wore a mink coat and always had a lit Dunhill plugged into her cigarette holder. She went through men like Kleenex, and didn't like dogs or children. Georgann had the ice queen beauty of a Hitchcock heroine and the cold heart to match.
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Not an Engaging Listen
- By Sobriquet on 03-13-13
By: Wendy Lawless
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The Bucket List
- A Novel
- By: Georgia Clark
- Narrated by: Lauren Ezzo
- Length: 13 hrs and 40 mins
- Unabridged
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From the author of the critically acclaimed “lively and engrossing parable for women of all generations” (Harper’s Bazaar) The Regulars comes a deeply funny and thoughtful tale of a young woman who, after discovering she has the breast cancer gene, embarks on an unforgettable bucket list adventure. The Bucket List cleverly and compassionately explores Lacey’s relationship to her body and her future. Both are things Lacey thought she could control through hard work and sacrifice. But the future, it turns out, is more complicated than she could ever imagine.
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page turner
- By Amazon Customer on 04-25-19
By: Georgia Clark
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Single State of Mind
- By: Andi Dorfman
- Narrated by: Andi Dorfman
- Length: 8 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Andi Dorfman, breakout star of ABC's The Bachelorette and New York Times best-selling author of It's Not Okay, returns with this new collection of her adventures as a still-single gal surviving and thriving in New York City.
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Shallow
- By c63989 on 01-10-18
By: Andi Dorfman
What listeners say about I Am Not Myself These Days
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Barry Morrison
- 08-02-16
depressing
Would you say that listening to this book was time well-spent? Why or why not?
First of all, it's hard to listen to a story about a twenty something drag queen read but what sounds like an old straight guy. The story for me would have been much better if it actually sounded like the guy telling the story was about the story. secondly, i don't want to spoil the end but did it really have to end this way???
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7 people found this helpful
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- Christopher
- 09-21-12
Unxpected diamond in the rough.....
Would you listen to I Am Not Myself These Days again? Why?
Yes because it is just fun and wild with just the right amount of bittersweet after taste. I didn't actually know this book would be about a drag queen when I started it guess I should have paid more attention before selecting, but after the surprise of finding out it was just a fun read.
What was one of the most memorable moments of I Am Not Myself These Days?
The description of the Christmas "performance" by one of the drag queens with the candy-cane prop had me crying I was laughing so hard and the finality of the end and push forward in time and sad pathetic "death" of Aqua also had me in tears but this time from sadness.
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- Arne
- 07-18-15
Great story
Great read, funny at times, original storyline that leaves you in awe.
July 18th, 2015
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1 person found this helpful
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- Joseph Tacy
- 11-19-11
Great Read, Hilarious!
This book was hilarious, I was utterly amazed at times thinking oh my gosh did this really happen? I recommend it!
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1 person found this helpful
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- cherish
- 10-30-12
The funnier side of lifes adventures
Would you recommend this audiobook to a friend? If so, why?
Yes I would highly recommend this audio book to a friend. And in fact, I already have. I throughly enjoyed the antics and humor in Josh's everyday life. The author and narrator bring life to this memoir.
What other book might you compare I Am Not Myself These Days to and why?
Josh's other book , Bucolic Plaque. His sence of writing is very conversational. I feel like he is sitting around having a conversation with me. His sence of humor and manor come through directly in his writting.
Which character – as performed by Johnny Heller – was your favorite?
Of course Aqua / Josh. The discription and thoughts of both aqua and josh are so excellently detailed, it is like you are there in the room with both of them, living the situation. All the steps to unvail Aqua and her wardrobe is amazing.
If you were to make a film of this book, what would be the tag line be?
The Life of Aqua, the DragQueen
Any additional comments?
I have already recommended this audio book to a few friends. Josh's sense of humor is addicting to listen too. His antics and lifestyle are a facinating read/listen. I will keep this book and his others to return to for listening again and again. When things get tough just add another layer of lipstick and some fresh water to the fish and march on.
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- Joey Xavier
- 04-07-17
a metaphor for one's own life
listening to the narrator drone on, demonstrated aqua life! story worth listening to while driving
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- Wind Dancer
- 05-26-16
I was sobbing at the end
This is one of the saddest stories I have ever heard. Yes, there are many amusing incidents, but underlying everything is a fierce and desperate struggle. I kept trying to reconcile this Josh Kilmer-Purcell with the successful Beekman Boy, and it was almost impossible. All I can do is marvel that he survived, and that he is thriving despite the sorrow of his past. His story will stay with me for a long, long time.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 03-31-17
Wow
A great memoir and beautiful story told excellently by mr. Kilmer-Purcell. Throughly enjoyed and highly recommend, although be warned it's explicit.
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- Carrie
- 06-28-13
What a world
If you could sum up I Am Not Myself These Days in three words, what would they be?
A great book and introduction to a world that this Southern housewife knows little about. While I never was a fan of Jack's, and not because he is/was a male escort or a crack addict. I just didn't think that he was good enough for Josh or Aqua, I still rooted for them to make it. Now learning more about Mr. Kilmer-Purcell and realizing that he was on the Amazing Race and one of my favorite contestants, I'm happy that they didn't work out. I doubt that Jack would have made any of Josh's wishes a priority and taken the time away from the beeper to travel the world, and win a million dollars. Josh's new partner seems like a true partner. Good for him and I look forward to reading his next book.
What was one of the most memorable moments of I Am Not Myself These Days?
His parents visit, while the lies were grander in his life, there are always lies about your life when you are in your twenties and you are dealing with your family.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Chloe
- 03-08-14
Loved it
Where does I Am Not Myself These Days rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?
This is the first audiobook I've ever listened too. At first I was a bit skeptical because I was never one for being told stories. I'm not going to lie I think I loved it a little too much.
What was one of the most memorable moments of I Am Not Myself These Days?
The most memorable moment surprisingly wasn't the Christmas scene (although it was hilarious) but the part where Jack writes on Josh's back "I love you more than heaven". The other most memorable, although not quite a moment, was the very last chapter.
What about Johnny Heller’s performance did you like?
I loved that he got into character based upon how Purcell described them. Again I'm new to audiobooks so I'm not sure if that is normal, but I loved that he would even sing when needed.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
YES YES YES
Any additional comments?
It can be very off putting with the lifestyle Purcell describes, but it adds a little something out of the ordinary which in a weird way kept me reading.
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