If Wishes Were Hearses
A Mike Lanson Mystery
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Narrated by:
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Laurel Monroe
About this listen
This canny reporter's next headline was likely to be his own execution!
Mike Lanson was the ace crime reporter for the Gazette, so it was natural that he heard about the kookie wino who had reported eavesdropping on two men plotting a murder. So, it was also natural that he got on the case after one of the two plotters was found dead. Mike, like all reporters, was looking for an answer. But when he filled in the five W's on the next victim, he came up with this: Who: Mike Lanson. What: His own murder. When: As soon as that fire reached the explosives. Where: In a deserted storehouse. Why: Because he knew too much. It looked a lot like the end of this story would be his own end. It was a strange dilemma for a reporter—how do you blow a case wide open when you're about to be blown apart yourself?
In this classic 1950s noir mystery, you will meet:
Mike Lanson: The Gazette's A reporter. He was always hungry for a good headline, but he was shocked when he found he was going to be in tomorrow's headline—as a victim!
Freddie the Grape: This wino was a highly-scented character, and like the grape he was so fond of, he was about to be squashed.
Corrine Nimes: A luscious doll who loved her husband, but discovered she couldn't live with him—and when he was murdered, she found she couldn't live without him.
Addison Sharp: Like most lawyers, he knew other people's secrets—and then he learned one too many.
Lieutenant Guffy: He liked to catch criminals and lock them up, but he always kept a cell open for nosey newspaper reporters who got in his way.
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- Badge of Honor, Book 1
- By: W. E. B. Griffin
- Narrated by: Michael Russotto
- Length: 10 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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W.E.B. Griffin's best-selling series, The Corps and Brotherhood of War, have captured the pride and glory of the military community. Now he reveals a city police force with the same unique blend of realism, drama, and action. Here are the brave men and women behind the badge as you've never seen them before - their hopes and fears, their courage and heroism, sparked by a single, shocking event: The killing of a cop in the line of duty.
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Tremendous Cop story with Mystery and some Romance
- By Bevs Mom on 10-08-12
By: W. E. B. Griffin
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God Save the Mark
- A Novel of Crime and Confusion
- By: Donald E. Westlake
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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What, you ask, is a Fred Fitch? Well, for one thing, Fred Fitch is the man with the most extensive collection of fake receipts, phony bills of sale, and counterfeit sweepstakes tickets in the Western hemisphere, and possibly in the entire world. For another thing, Fred Fitch may be the only New York City resident in the twentieth century to buy a money machine.
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American Gods for the Grifter set!
- By William R. on 09-06-11
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Fer-de-Lance
- By: Rex Stout
- Narrated by: Michael Prichard
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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When someone makes a present of a fer-de-lance - the dreaded snake - to Nero Wolfe, Archie Goodwin knows he's close to solving two apparently unrelated murders. As for Wolfe, he's playing snake charmer in a case more deadly than a cobra and whistling a seductive tune he hopes will catch a killer with poison in his heart.
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One of the best crime series of all time.
- By ShySusan on 03-27-13
By: Rex Stout
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Mr. Monk Goes to the Firehouse
- By: Lee Goldberg
- Narrated by: Laura Hicks
- Length: 7 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Monk's house is being fumigated, and he has nowhere to go. Fortunately, his assistant Natalie and her daughter are kind enough to welcome him into their home. Unfortunately, their home is not quite up to Monk's standards of cleanliness and order. But while Monk attempts to arrange his surroundings just so, something else needs to be put straight. The death of a dog at the local firehouse - on the same night as a fatal house fire - has led Monk into a puzzling mystery.
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Enjoyable listen
- By Rbtmw on 06-19-09
By: Lee Goldberg
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For Whom The Minivan Rolls
- Aaron Tucker Mystery, Book 1
- By: Jeffrey Cohen
- Narrated by: Damon Abdallah
- Length: 7 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Aaron Tucker isn't a detective. So he's baffled when the richest guy in his New Jersey town insists that Aaron, and Aaron alone, investigate the disappearance of his wife, who has inexplicably vanished from their home in the middle of the night. Funny, down-to-earth, lovable, and resourceful, Aaron Tucker, family man and freelance writer, reluctantly says yes, and continuously wishes he hadn't.
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Funny, Great Narration, Weak Mystery
- By Karen K on 07-16-15
By: Jeffrey Cohen
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Wild Justice
- By: Phillip Margolin
- Narrated by: Anna Fields
- Length: 8 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Phillip Margolin, best selling author of The Undertaker's Widow, introduces the world to the first genuinely monstrous psychopath of the new century. Also available abridged.
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De gustibus...
- By Susan on 01-23-11
By: Phillip Margolin
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Compelling Evidence & Prime Witness
- 2-in-1 Edition, Paul Madriani Books 1 and 2
- By: Steve Martini
- Narrated by: Joe Mantegna
- Length: 6 hrs and 4 mins
- Abridged
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Compelling Evidence Paul Madriani was once a promising associate with the prestigious Potter, Skarpellos law firm, co-founded by his mentor, Ben Potter. But after a scandalous affair with Ben's wife, Talia, Paul left the firm to begin a brilliant career as a criminal defense attorney. Ben's impeccable reputation has made him a leading candidate for the Supreme Court, until he is found dead on the eve of the nomination, and Talia becomes the prime suspect.
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Terrible
- By LS1015 on 04-08-19
By: Steve Martini
What listeners say about If Wishes Were Hearses
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Chris S
- 07-31-22
A fun noir mystery
If Wishes Were Hearses is a quirky noir mystery by RR Winterbotham (writing as JHarvey Bond). Gazette Reporter Mike Lanson is trying to get to the bottom of a overheard conversation about two men plotting a murder. The person who heard it is an old wino and may not be a reliable witness. Then people related to the case start dying and Mike may be the next to go! The narration by Laurel Monroe was wonderful. The performance brought the characters to life and added to the enjoyment of the story. I received a copy of this audiobook in exchange for my honest review.
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- Erin P.
- 08-02-22
Fun Mystery and Performance
This was such a fun listen! Great story and mystery. The narrator really brought the characters to life - I felt everyone was easy to distinguish which helped me really sink into the story. Would definitely recommend.
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- Christine Meister
- 07-25-22
What a delight!
I’ve read a lot of mysteries but this one had me guessing. Mike didn’t give up. All the characters were enhanced by the narrator’s many voices and definitely added to the story. I highly recommend this book.
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- B.McGrath
- 07-22-22
entertaining
Geez! This reporter had a dangerous job, because he not only writes the news; he solves the crimes too!!!! The old wino was a nice touch.
It was hard to sort the good from the bad because they all did illegal things. I voluntarily listened to a free copy of this and am giving an honest review. The narrator did a great job bringing the characters and story to life.
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- Deborah Kennedy
- 01-27-24
to long
the story was good and they should have had 2 narrators. It was just to long ad draw out.
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- Anita C.
- 05-30-23
The story feels jumbled
I could not get into this book. if felt like a lot was happening but the book had no punctuation. I tried twice and gave up. So that is not to say the story is bad (I didn't finish it). But the narrator does not fit this book.
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