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I'll Never Be French (No Matter What I Do)
- Living in a Small Village in Brittany
- Narrated by: Jonathan Beville
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
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Publisher's summary
When Mark Greenside - a native New Yorker living in California, political lefty, writer, and lifelong skeptic - is dragged by his girlfriend to a tiny Celtic village in Brittany at the westernmost edge of France in Finistere, or what he describes as "the end of the world," his life begins to change.
In a playful, headlong style, and with enormous affection for the Bretons, Greenside shares how he makes a life for himself in a country where he doesn't speak the language or understand the culture. He gradually places his trust in the villagers he encounters - neighbors, workers, acquaintances - and he's consistently won over and surprised as he manages to survive day-to-day trials.
Until he came to this town, Greenside was lost, moving through life without a plan, already in his 40s with little money and no house. So when he settles into the rhythm of this new French culture not only does he find a home and meaningful relationships in this French countryside, he finds himself.
I'll Never Be French (No Matter What I Do) is both a new beginning and a homecoming for Greenside. He has never regretted his journey and, as he advises to those searching for their next adventure, neither will you.
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Follow New York Times best-selling author Mary Roach - but be careful not to trip - as she weaves through personal anecdotes and everyday musings riddled with her uncanny wit and amazingly analytical eye. These essays, which found a well-deserved home within the pages of Reader's Digest as the column "My Planet," detail the inner workings of hypochondriacs, hoarders, and compulsive cheapskates. (Did we mention neurotic interior designers and professional list makers?) For Roach, humor is hidden in the most unlikely places, which means that nothing is off limits.
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Narrator drove me crazy
- By Ann on 04-23-14
By: Mary Roach
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Tagged for Death
- A Sarah Winston Garage Sale Mystery
- By: Sherry Harris
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 8 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Starting your life over at age 38 isn't easy, but that's what Sarah Winston finds herself facing when her husband CJ runs off with a 19-year-old temptress named Tiffany. Sarah's self-prescribed therapy happily involves hitting all the garage and tag sales in and around her small town in Massachusetts. But after returning from a particularly successful day searching for yard-sale treasures, Sarah finds a grisly surprise in one of her bags: a freshly bloodied shirt...that undoubtedly belongs to her ex, CJ, who now happens to be Ellington's chief of police. And Tiffany has gone missing.
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frustrating book
- By Anonymous User on 01-08-23
By: Sherry Harris
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Strong Motion
- By: Jonathan Franzen
- Narrated by: Scott Aiello
- Length: 20 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Louis Holland arrives in Boston in a spring of ecological upheaval (a rash of earthquakes on the North Shore) and odd luck: the first one kills his grandmother. Louis tries to maintain his independence, but falls in love with a Harvard seismologist whose discoveries about the earthquakes' cause complicate everything.
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Compelling Story, Ridiculous Narrator
- By DianeReads on 02-28-16
By: Jonathan Franzen
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Manhattans and Murder
- The Murder, She Wrote Mysteries, Book 2
- By: Jessica Fletcher, Donald Bain
- Narrated by: Beth Porter
- Length: 6 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Promoting her latest books brings best-selling mystery writer Jessica Fletcher to New York for Christmas. Her schedule includes book signings, chat-show appearances, department store shopping...and murder. But it all begins with a sidewalk Santa staring at Jessica with fear and recognition.
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A release of an older Donald Bain book in the series, thank goodness
- By Dorise on 02-01-19
By: Jessica Fletcher, and others
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Sisterchicks on the Loose!
- By: Robin Jones Gunn
- Narrated by: Robin Jones Gunn
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Sharon has lived calmly in Chinook Springs, Washington, her entire life. All that changes when her best friend of twenty years, Penny, takes an impulsive trip to seek out her only living relatives in Finland, and brings Sharon with her.
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Fun plot and fun characters
- By Bobbie on 06-03-11
By: Robin Jones Gunn
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A is for Alibi
- A Kinsey Millhone Mystery
- By: Sue Grafton
- Narrated by: Mary Peiffer
- Length: 7 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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This is the first in the popular series featuring California investigator Kinsey Millhone. She's 32, twice divorced, no kids, an ex-cop who likes her work...and who works strictly alone!
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No More for Me
- By Robin on 07-12-08
By: Sue Grafton
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Agatha of Little Neon
- By: Claire Luchette
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 7 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Agatha has lived every day of the last seven years with her sisters: They work together, laugh together, pray together. Their world is contained within the little house they share. The four of them are devoted to Mother Roberta and to their quiet, purposeful life. But when the parish goes broke, the sisters are forced to move. They land in Woonsocket, a former mill town now dotted with wind turbines.
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Xceptional!
- By Bebe Guill on 08-11-21
By: Claire Luchette
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The Deep Blue Good-By
- A Travis McGee Novel, Book 1
- By: John D. MacDonald
- Narrated by: Robert Petkoff
- Length: 6 hrs
- Unabridged
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Story
He's a self-described beach bum who won his houseboat in a card game. He's also a knight errant who's wary of credit cards, retirement benefits, political parties, mortgages, and television. He only works when his cash runs out, and his rule is simple: he'll help you find whatever was taken from you, as long as he can keep half.
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Before the A-Team, there was Travis McGee
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 11-12-16
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Vanishing Falls
- A Novel
- By: Poppy Gee
- Narrated by: Caroline Lee
- Length: 12 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Deep within the lush Tasmanian rainforest is the remote town of Vanishing Falls, a place with a storied past. The town’s showpiece, built in the 1800s, is its Calendar House - currently occupied by Jack Lily, a prominent art collector and landowner; his wife, Celia; and their four daughters. The elaborate, eccentrically designed mansion houses one masterpiece and 52 rooms - and Celia Lily isn’t in any of them. She has vanished without a trace.… Joelle Smithton knows that a few folks in Vanishing Falls believe that she’s simple-minded.
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OK Story
- By Cindy House on 12-21-21
By: Poppy Gee
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The Last Picture Show
- Thalia Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Larry McMurtry
- Narrated by: John Randolph Jones
- Length: 8 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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An almost-true story about a small town in Texas that ought to exist if it doesn’t, with characters like Sam the Lion, the delectable Jacy, and Ruth Popper, the coach’s wife. Set in a small, dusty, Texas town, The Last Picture Show introduced the characters of Jacy, Duane, and Sonny: teenagers stumbling toward adulthood, discovering the beguiling mysteries of sex and the even more baffling mysteries of love.
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Not very good
- By Randall on 07-02-17
By: Larry McMurtry
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Time Out of Joint
- By: Philip K. Dick
- Narrated by: Jeff Cummings
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
Ragle Gumm has a unique job: Every day he wins a newspaper contest. And when he isn’t consulting his charts and tables, he enjoys his life in a small town, in 1959. At least, that’s what he thinks. But then strange things start happening. He finds a phone book where all the numbers have been disconnected, and a magazine article about a famous starlet named Marilyn Monroe, whom he’s never heard of. Plus, everyday objects are beginning to disappear and are replaced by strips of paper with words written on them, like "bowl of flowers" and "soft-drink stand".
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Mediocre Mother to Gravity's Rainbow and the Truman Show?
- By Darwin8u on 06-13-15
By: Philip K. Dick
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My Friend Leonard
- By: James Frey
- Narrated by: Andy Paris
- Length: 10 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Perhaps the most unconventional and literally breathtaking father-son story you'll ever read, My Friend Leonard pulls you immediately and deeply into a relationship as unusual as it is inspiring. The father figure is Leonard, the high-living, recovering coke addict, "West Coast Director of a large Italian-American finance firm" (read: mobster) who helped to keep James Frey clean in A Million Little Pieces.
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Great book
- By Kathy on 11-04-05
By: James Frey
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Wish this wasn't abridged!!
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Thrust into the unlikely role of professional "literary walking tour" guide, an expat writer provides the most irresistibly witty and revealing tour of Paris in years. In this enchanting memoir, acclaimed author and long-time Paris resident John Baxter remembers his yearlong experience of giving "literary walking tours" through the city. Baxter sets off with unsuspecting tourists in tow on the trail of Paris' legendary artists and writers of the past.
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Beautifully written, uneven content
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A Year in Provence
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Peter Mayle and his wife had been to Provence as tourists. They had dreamed of one day trading the long, grey winters and damp summers of England for the blue skies and sunshine of the coast of southern France. And then they made it happen. They moved into an old farmhouse at the foot of the Luberon mountains and embarked on a wonderful, if at times bewildering, new life.
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Ban abridged versions
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The Discovery of France
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A narrative of exploration - full of strange landscapes and even stranger inhabitants - that explains the enduring fascination of France. While Gustave Eiffel was changing the skyline of Paris, large parts of France were still terra incognita. Even in the age of railways and newspapers, France was a land of ancient tribal divisions, prehistoric communication networks, and pre-Christian beliefs. French itself was a minority language.
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Great history of the cultural formation of France
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Walk and Talk Paris
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Get ready for a one-of-a-kind audio experience: discover Paris through intimate, guided audio walking tours of the city's most historic and enchanting quarters. There are four tours for you to listen to as you walk through the City of Light, plus essential French words and phrases that every traveler wants to know.
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Walk and Talk Paris
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By: Sonia Landes, and others
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The French Ingredient
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When Jane Bertch was seventeen, her mother took her on a graduation trip to Paris. Thrilled to use her high school French, Jane found her halting attempts greeted with withering condescension by every waiter and shopkeeper she encountered. At the end of the trip, she vowed she would never return.
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The French Ingredient is Inspiring!
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What listeners say about I'll Never Be French (No Matter What I Do)
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Rhonda R.
- 07-10-22
Great listening!
I actually read this first book second and the narrator was just not as funny to listen to as the second. That said I thoroughly enjoyed it.
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- Elisa R. Goodman
- 12-01-21
A hilarious, neurotic and tantalizing travelogue!
I happened upon this Audible book in desperation for an out-of-town Thanksgiving drive. I always do a sneak-peek listen and was immediately hooked. Mark Greenside's brilliant and colorful writing was brought to life in perfection. If you understand and appreciate the lovable New York kvetching rants of people like Jerry Seinfeld, Paul Reiser, Lewis Black, Larry David, and Richard Kind (and also happen to be a lover of all things French), this, my friend, is for YOU. Or, from the little high school French I remember, "Pour Vous! A lover of words the way the French love their cafe au lait, buttery croissants, au jus, and wine, Mark's writing is strong, vivid, delicate, juicy, and overflowing.
Jonathan Beville's flawless narration should get him an Audie Award. As in the movie Jerry Maguire, "He had me at hello." I have never laughed so hard. He read the book as if he wrote it and was performing his own one-man show. Jonathan's wry delivery and French character impersonations are nothing less than hilarious! C'est Magnifique!
If you remember and enjoyed Peter Mayle's 1991 bestseller, "A Year in Provence" - this is a new twist on a foreigner adapting to life in a new country – as Greenside's travel adventures are like therapy sessions of drippy brie - examining his messy American cultural upbringing and how he has moved through the ever-suspicious New York Jewish immigrant culture he was raised in. "Expect the Unexpected" became his motto. Amazingly, and despite the language barrier, things worked themselves out. He admits his experience softened and allowed him to become a more trusting and better human when he was uncomfortable and out of his element - living in a culture that allowed him to unwind and to be exasperated at the same time. Every time he would return to Brittany, he was reminded that this small medieval village and the Breton culture he fell in love with seemed to function like a Tesla in motion, Quiet. Predictable. Trustworthy. At ease with life. In the moment. Truth and beauty. Simplicity. It's All Good. C'est Bon.
I just started it again because I enjoyed it so much. It was truly enjoyable, it makes me want to pack my bags and escape Los Angeles as soon as Covid restrictions are lifted and find another way to breathe in the simplicity of another culture and reimagine my so-called life.
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- Sandi Campbell
- 01-25-22
Narration and story are transportive.
What a delightful book! It had all that I expected from the description - humor, self-reflection, abundant description of the French countryside (that made me want to pack a bag immediately!), and an obvious affection for the new friends and home Mark discovered.
What I did not expect was to be blown away by Jonathan Beville's narration. From "go" he delivered pithy performance that made me feel as if I was talking to Mark. So often narration is simply a rendering of the story. But Beville's narration was as if he was truly living this experience. What Beville delivered was not simply narration, but a true performance that added so much to the experience. I truly believe that this book is better understood and enjoyed via Audible than if I'd read it myself, as my own internal "voice" simply couldn't compare to what Beville brought to the narrative.
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- Henri Paya
- 04-30-24
very humoristic and well narrated.
As a French living in the USA I can totally relate and understand the struggle and challenges.
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- Max
- 10-20-24
I liked it fine.
I liked the narrator. The story was more in-depth than many "fish out of water" stories. Not too long. Short chapters are always nice. Might have to slow speed down if you normally listen fast. Wish there were more translations.
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