James & the Giant Pulsating Mass of Pissing, Shitting, Screaming, Puking, Burping, Bleeding, Farting, Sweating, Ejaculating, Genetically Modified Mutant Monster Meat
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Narrated by:
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Clay Christopher
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By:
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Kevin Sweeney
About this listen
Imagine James and the Giant Peach, only instead of a giant peach it's a genetic abomination, an unholy hulk of agonized flesh that should not be...and instead of a small boy sharing a jolly adventure with a group of anthropomorphic insects, there is a mindless killing machine on a nightmare voyage through an ecological hell with a group of horrifying freaks!
Torture in the name of science! A plastic island inhabited by mutant sea monkeys! Pollution kaiju! A retelling of a beloved children's classic sure to have the original author spinning in his grave!
©2018 Kevin Sweeney (P)2022 Kevin SweeneyListeners also enjoyed...
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Return to the Lost World
- By Richard S. Swol on 07-14-18
By: Greig Beck
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Ashes
- Ashes Trilogy, Book 1
- By: Ilsa J. Bick
- Narrated by: Katherine Kellgren
- Length: 11 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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An electromagnetic pulse flashes across the sky, destroying every electronic device and killing billions. Alex hiked into the woods to say good-bye to her dead parents and her personal demons. Now desperate to find out what happened after the pulse crushes her to the ground, Alex meets up with Tom, a young soldier, and Ellie, a girl whose grandfather was killed by the EMP. For this improvised family and the others who are spared, it's now a question of who can be trusted and who is no longer human.
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No Thank You
- By KK on 06-27-12
By: Ilsa J. Bick
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Black Dog Blues
- The Kai Gracen Series, Book 1
- By: Rhys Ford
- Narrated by: Greg Tremblay
- Length: 8 hrs and 50 mins
- Unabridged
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Ever since being part of the pot in a high-stakes poker game, elfin outcast Kai Gracen figures he used up his good karma when Dempsey, a human Stalker, won the hand and took him in. Following the violent merge of Earth and Underhill, the human and elfin races are left with a messy, monster-ridden world, and Stalkers are the only cavalry willing to ride to someone's rescue when something shadowy appears.
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Not the story for me.
- By Heather K (Dentist in my Spare Time) on 06-08-15
By: Rhys Ford
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Blackbirds
- Miriam Black, Book 1
- By: Chuck Wendig
- Narrated by: Emily Beresford
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Miriam Black knows when you will die. Still in her early twenties, she’s foreseen hundreds of car crashes, heart attacks, strokes, suicides, and slow deaths by cancer. But when Miriam hitches a ride with truck driver Louis Darling and shakes his hand, she sees that in thirty days he will be gruesomely murdered while he calls her name. Miriam has given up trying to save people; that only makes their deaths happen. No matter what she does, she can’t save Louis. But if she wants to stay alive, she’ll have to try.
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Not for the faint of heart or kids but exciting
- By Steph on 04-07-14
By: Chuck Wendig
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The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear
- By: Walter Moers
- Narrated by: Bronson Pinchot
- Length: 16 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Playful enough for young adult readers, yet as intricate and engaging as any work of literary fiction, The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear has the plot of a novel and the spontaneity and humor of a vintage comic book, making it already an instant cult classic.
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Hillarious and fantastic book and great listen
- By Paul on 03-25-11
By: Walter Moers
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The Vagrant
- By: Peter Newman
- Narrated by: Jot Davies
- Length: 13 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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The Vagrant is his name. He has no other. Years have passed since humanity's destruction emerged from the Breach. Friendless and alone he walks across a desolate, war-torn landscape. A s each day passes the world tumbles further into depravity, bent and twisted by the new order, corrupted by the Usurper, the enemy, and his infernal horde. His purpose is to reach the Shining City, last bastion of the human race, and deliver the only weapon that may make a difference in the ongoing war.
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It was the concept and the prose that kept me goin
- By Alexandra on 08-18-15
By: Peter Newman
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Origin
- A Thriller
- By: J. A. Konrath
- Narrated by: Luke Daniels
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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When linguist Andrew Dennison is yanked from his bed by the Secret Service and taken to a top secret facility in the desert, he has no idea he's been brought there to translate the words of an ancient demon. He joins pretty but cold veterinarian Sun Jones, eccentric molecular biologist Dr. Frank Belgium, and a hodge-podge of religious, military, and science personnel to try and figure out if the creature is, indeed, Satan. But things quickly go bad, and very soon Andy isn't just fighting for his life, but the lives of everyone on earth…
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Making My Beelzebubble Burst
- By Carol on 01-01-14
By: J. A. Konrath
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Vampires in the Lemon Grove
- Stories
- By: Karen Russell
- Narrated by: Arthur Morey, Joy Osmanski, Kaleo Griffith, and others
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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In the collection's marvelous title story, two aging vampires in a sun-drenched Italian lemon grove find their hundred-year marriage tested when one of them develops a fear of flying. In "The Seagull Army Descends on Strong Beach, 1979", a dejected teenager discovers that the universe is communicating with him through talismanic objects left in a seagull's nest. "Proving Up" and "The Graveless Doll of Eric Mutis" find Russell veering into more sinister territory.
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Stylish modern magic realism
- By Ryan on 04-10-13
By: Karen Russell
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Heroes Die
- The First of the Acts of Caine
- By: Matthew Stover
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 22 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Renowned throughout the land of Ankhana as the Blade of Tyshalle, Caine has killed his share of monarchs and commoners, villains and heroes. He is relentless, unstoppable, simply the best there is at what he does. At home on Earth, Caine is Hari Michaelson, a superstar whose adventures in Ankhana command an audience of billions.
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Don't Let the Cover Turn You Off
- By Paul on 08-13-12
By: Matthew Stover
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Death's Daughter
- By: Amber Benson
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Calliope Reaper-Jones so just wanted a normal life: buying designer shoes on sale, dating guys from Craig’s List, web-surfing for organic dim-sum for her boss. But when her father - who happens to be Death himself - is kidnapped, and the Devil’s Protege embarks on a hostile takeover of the family business, Death, Inc., Callie returns home to assume the CEO mantle - only to discover she must complete three nearly impossible tasks in the realm of the afterlife first.
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Don't Stop After Chapter 1
- By Dana on 03-29-14
By: Amber Benson
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Cryptids
- Cryptids, Book 1
- By: David Haynes
- Narrated by: Jeff Harding
- Length: 9 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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The Facility is a research centre that specialises in cryptozoology, the search for legendary creatures. Once these ‘cryptids’ are found, they are caged, abused and experimented on to graft their physical prowess onto ordinary soldiers. Even as the Facility’s troops hunt down Shaw, and the cunning Cryptid Nine plans her escape, something far more horrifying is emerging from hibernation to feed. And both human and cryptid will discover that nothing can stop the Wendigo....
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Awful Narrator!
- By Roni on 05-18-22
By: David Haynes