Joe Vampire
Joe Vampire Series, Book 1
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Narrated by:
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Jeff Lowe
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By:
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Steven Luna
About this listen
Joe was just an average guy with an office job, a synthesizer band, and crush on a girl in the marketing department, until a horrible misunderstanding on a date with friends turned him into a real-life vampire. It didn’t take long for him to find out the afterlife isn’t nearly as glamorous as he’s been led to believe; it ruined his already-struggling love life, damaged things with his best friend, and pushed him away from his crazy family. So he’s letting the whole world know what it’s really like to be a card-carrying member of the undead, fighting his ridiculous situation every step of the way. But not everyone is happy to find out the truth, and for every ally he finds in the vampire world, there’s an enemy lurking in the real one, just waiting for a chance to show Joe a little vampire truth of their own...
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Declan has commitment issues. He’s been an office temp for literally years now, and his friends delight in telling people that he left his last boyfriend at the altar. And that’s all true. But he’s starting to think that maybe it’s time to start working on his issues. When Declan meets Sidney - a popular nonbinary YouTuber with an advice show - an opportunity presents itself: as part of The Love Study, Declan will go on a series of dates arranged by Sidney and report back on how the date went in the next episode. The dates are…sort of blah.
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This book was like a hug
- By Outlaw on 09-30-20
By: Kris Ripper
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All Fired Up
- Ashes and Dust Series, Book 1
- By: Jenn Burke
- Narrated by: Tim Paige
- Length: 7 hrs and 41 mins
- Unabridged
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Vampire and private investigator Evan Fournier isn't supposed to be taking on paranormal cases, but when the murderer hits close to home, he agrees to look into it. The last thing he expects is to become a target himself - and then to become irrevocably bonded to the man who just tried to kill him. With his memory gone and his soul bonded to a stranger, former firefighter Colin Zhang wants to be anywhere else. He doesn't have a damn clue why he just tried to kill Evan. Every time either of them tries to leave, pure agony stops them short.
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Excellent Emotional Development!
- By Krystal on 08-05-24
By: Jenn Burke
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Goddess with a Blade
- By: Lauren Dane
- Narrated by: Eve Bianco
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Rowan Summerwaite is no ordinary woman. Physical vessel to the Celtic goddess Brigid and raised by the leader of the Vampire Nation, she's a supercharged hunter with the power to slay any vampire who violates the age-old treaty. A recent string of murders has her at odds with Las Vegas's new Scion, the arrogant and powerful Clive Stewart. The killings have the mark of Vampire all over them, and Rowan warns Clive to keep his people in line - or she'll mete out her own brand of justice.
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Average
- By Leesa on 03-26-13
By: Lauren Dane
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Second String Savior
- From the Tome of Bill Universe (False Icons Series, Book 1)
- By: Rick Gualtieri, R.E. Carr
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 12 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Imagine going to bed with mousy brown locks and waking up with a headful of supernova scarlet. It's a hot new look for me - literally, because it bursts into flames whenever I'm threatened. My magical makeover is all Gary's fault. I knew there was something off from the moment he transferred to my school. Go figure. He's a wizard with a trust fund and an inferiority complex. Now, thanks to him, I've graduated from high school bullies to supernatural terrors and that's not all. Fate has chosen me to face the legendary vampire destined to destroy the world.
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think Tome of Bill for highschoolers
- By john moglia on 12-04-19
By: Rick Gualtieri, and others
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Daddy Biker Bear
- Bears of Forest Heights, Book 1
- By: Roxie Ray
- Narrated by: Sierra Kline, Gregory Kellen
- Length: 6 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
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I was young and naive when I fell hard for bad boy Grizz, a shifter who was hot enough to melt my good girl heart. Big mistake. Because when good girls are naughty, they end up pregnant. Now I’m back in Forest Heights to care for my aunt with my son Rainer — the son I’ve been raising on my own for nine years because gruff, tough Grizz didn’t believe our baby was possible.
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Uhhh.. nope
- By KHave on 02-27-22
By: Roxie Ray
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The Girl Who Punches Werewolves
- The Hybrid of High Moon Series, Book 1
- By: Rick Gualtieri
- Narrated by: Rachel Dulude
- Length: 9 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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My name is Tamara Bentley, "Bent" to my friends, and I'm not supposed to exist. I was born of the forbidden union between a witch and a werewolf, and they've been trying their damnedest to hide my existence ever since. But now my secret is out, and my uncle, the leader of the wolf pack, is pissed beyond belief. In his eyes, I'm something that should've never been born. He wants me dead and doesn't care who he has to sacrifice to get the job done.
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Gualtieri Strikes Again!
- By Amazon Customer on 12-20-18
By: Rick Gualtieri
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Reasons to Be Pretty
- By: Neil LaBute
- Narrated by: Jenna Fischer, Thomas Sadoski, Josh Stamberg, and others
- Length: 2 hrs and 7 mins
- Original Recording
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What does it mean to be pretty? Do you really need someone to validate your appearance? Neil LaBute tackles our obsession with physical beauty head-on in a work nominated for multiple Tony and Drama Desk Awards. Our production, directed by the playwright, includes original Broadway cast member Thomas Sadoski, whose acclaimed performance also earned aTony nomination. Includes a backstage conversation with Neil LaBute and the cast. An L.A. Theatre Works full-cast production.
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An exquisite reading of one of my favorite plays
- By Suzannah McLellan on 06-11-18
By: Neil LaBute
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People Kill People
- By: Ellen Hopkins
- Narrated by: Vikas Adam
- Length: 8 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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People kill people. Guns just make it easier. A gun is sold in the classifieds after killing a spouse, bought by a teenager for needed protection. But which was it? Each has the incentive to pick up a gun, to fire it. Was it Rand or Cami, married teenagers with a young son? Was it Silas or Ashlyn, members of a white supremacist youth organization? Daniel, who fears retaliation because of his race, who possessively clings to Grace, the love of his life? Or Noelle, who lost everything after a devastating accident, and has sunk quietly into depression?
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Ellen You've done it again!
- By Gillian Francoeur on 06-12-20
By: Ellen Hopkins
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You Need a Bigger Sword
- A Gamelit Fantasy RPG Novel
- By: Natalie Grey, Michael Anderle
- Narrated by: Andrea Emmes
- Length: 8 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Enter the world of Metamorphosis Online, a fully immersive video game where players compete for spots in the Global Top 10 - ranks that actually pay you to play the game. Gracie doesn't play the game to make money...at first. Broke, single, and working a crappy job as a blackjack dealer, Gracie's just blowing off steam and having fun. Can playing a new type of immersive game help her overcome real-life issues, or will it cause more problems?
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soundtrack
- By Kindle Customer on 02-08-20
By: Natalie Grey, and others
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His Banana
- Objects of Attraction Series, Book 1
- By: Penelope Bloom
- Narrated by: C. J. Bloom, Alexander Cendese
- Length: 4 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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My new boss likes rules, but there's one nobody dares to break... No touching his banana. Seriously. The guy is like a potassium addict. Of course, I touched it. If you want to get technical, I actually put it in my mouth. I chewed it up, too....I even swallowed. I know. Bad, bad, girl. Then I saw him, and believe it or not, choking on a guy's banana does not make the best first impression. I should backtrack a little here. Before I ever touched a billionaire's banana, I got my first real assignment as a business reporter.
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Fun, Funny and Sexy!
- By Kindle Customer on 01-08-19
By: Penelope Bloom
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Prince of Lies
- By: Lucy Lennox
- Narrated by: Michael Dean
- Length: 10 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
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Rowe Prince is many things. But when it turns out Rowe’s lies conceal a secret that threatens the company I’ve spent years building, I have to choose: say goodbye to the sweet pretender I’m falling for, or risk everything for a man who just might be… the prince of lies.
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The blurb is misleading--in a good way!
- By heinouslizard on 03-04-23
By: Lucy Lennox
What listeners say about Joe Vampire
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Adam Joseph Ferry
- 08-14-19
fun pod cast style format
A fun new take on vampire lore . A great listen. Intrested to see where the story goes on from here
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- blue_river @AudiobookObsession
- 10-16-19
Joe Vampire
I’ve never read a book in the form of blog sessions. I enjoyed listening to this and the way Joe’s transitions into becoming a vampire and how he is able to live a normal life(kind of). The blog makes it seem a lot more realistic and has you cheering and hoping Joe makes it to the other end happy and proud of what he became.
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- AZ Brian
- 07-29-19
Vampirism: not so glamourous
Joe Vampire is an interesting dive into the lonely, not so glamorous life of a newly turned vampire as he explorers his affliction. The book gets off to a slow start but after the first two "blog posts" gets into the meat of of the story.
This book is an obvious response to the Twilight books and other modern urban vampire media. It's certainly not a romanticized CW take and not the thudding action of Blade either. Joe is just trying to figure out how to hold down a job, keep his electrolytes balanced, have time for his hobbies, and maybe meet a girl... adult sh*t made more difficult by vampirism.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Paul
- 09-29-19
Loads of fun!
it took a couple of chapters for the book to find its pacing. setup as blog entries, the first few read as blog entries with some good laughs but after a bit it develops a narative story with continued out loud laughs. Worth the ivestment. I received this free and am posting my honest review.
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- Nicole
- 10-10-19
So good!
Love this story and the concept!! Great book had to binge it to finish!! Can’t wait for more!
I received a review copy
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- Patrick Lowman
- 10-22-19
Good narration and funny story
Jeff did an excellent job narrating the book and making each character come to life. The story was alright. It was funny and had some interesting points that can help if you ever turn into a vampire. Such as making sure that if you ever go to a club with females, make sure they’re aware you’re straight. Overall, I’d be interested in listening to more. Just make sure you don’t have little ones around while listening to it. They may develop some new vocabulary words that you may not be thrilled with.
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- NaMc
- 10-14-19
really enjoyed it!
I really enjoyed the book, it took me a few mins to get used to the narration as it isn't what I'm used to but once I did the story was really good and I'm looking forward to starting the next.
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- Carl E. Reed
- 10-02-19
Not funny at all
THIS is supposed to be humor? WTF?!? Its set up as funny but its just depressing. I received a free code for this and it sucks is my honest review
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1 person found this helpful
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- Amazon Customer
- 07-10-19
They lost me at Chapter 1
This Has to be one of the worst books to listen to while driving.
if you are into senseless ramblings and rantings with a lot of hipster opinion and foul language mixed in to try to provide merit, then this book is for you.
if you’re looking for a well written credible story that is also entertaining, this is not your book
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1 person found this helpful