Just Let Me Look at You
On Fatherhood
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Narrated by:
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Bill Gaston
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By:
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Bill Gaston
About this listen
2019 RBC Taylor Prize
2019 BC Book Prize - Hubert Evans Non-Fiction Prize
2019 BC Book Prize - Roderick Haig-Brown Regional Prize
From Giller-nominated, award-winning Bill Gaston, a tender, wry, and unforgettable memoir about alcohol, fishing, and all the things fathers and sons won't say to each other.
Sons clash with fathers, sons find reasons to rebel. And, fairly or unfairly, sons judge fathers when they take to drinking.
But Bill Gaston and his father could always fish together. When they were shoulder-to-shoulder, joined in rapt fascination with the world under their hull, they had what all fathers and sons wish for. Even if it was temporary, even if much of it would be forgotten along with the empties.
Returning to the past in his old fishing boat, revisiting the remote marina where they lived onboard and learned to mooch for salmon, Bill unravels his father's relationship with his father, it, too, a story marked by heavy drinking, though one that took a much darker turn.
Learning family secrets his father took to the grave, Gaston comes to understand his own story anew, realizing that the man his younger self had been so eager to judge was in fact someone both nobler and more vulnerable than he had guessed.
Warm, insightful, and often funny, Just Let Me Look at You captures every father's inexpressible tenderness, and the ways in which the words for love often come too late for all of us.
©2018 Bill Gaston (P)2019 Penguin Random House CanadaListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
Short-listed for the 2019 RBC Taylor Prize
Short-listed for the 2019 BC Book Prize - Hubert Evans Non-Fiction Prize
Short-listed for the 2019 BC Book Prize - Roderick Haig-Brown Regional Prize
"Under Gaston’s quiet prose lies an ocean of pain and hard truths. Unsentimental and yet deeply poignant, his memoir will resonate with anyone who wanted more from a father than he could give." (Trevor Cole)
"This book isn't just for fathers, sons or those who fish...as a mother and daughter who does not fish, I nonetheless related to Bill's longing to understand the person who had raised him and helped shape his world view. A beautifully written memoir about the complex layers that exist between parent and child and the drive to find peace with our childhood ghosts." (Cea Sunrise Person, author of North of Normal)
“I was heartbroken in the first five pages. Bill Gaston kicks and punches holes in the walls of time and recounts the battle between father and son, a battle that defines us whether we like it or not. For everyone who fights ghosts and knows they're never going to win, but keeps trying.” (Tom Wilson, author of Beautiful Scars)
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Story
For more than 20 years, Heavey has staked a claim as one of America's best sportsmen writers. In feature stories and his Field & Stream column A Sportsman's Life, he has taken audiences across the country and beyond to experience his triumphs and failures as a suburban dad who happens to love hunting and fishing. This new collection gathers together a wide range of his best work - tales that are odes to the notion that enthusiasm is more important than skill and testaments to the enduring power of the natural world.
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one of the best storytellers of all time!
- By Adam on 12-16-17
By: Bill Heavey
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Astream
- American Writers on Fly Fishing
- By: Robert DeMott - editor
- Narrated by: Brian Morris
- Length: 10 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Jim Harrison, Pam Houston, Ted Leeson, Nick Lyons, Thomas McGuane, and more, share stories of fly fishing and life on the river. This marvelous collection features stories from some of America’s finest and most respected writers about one of the world’s most solitary and satisfying sports: fly fishing. For the first time, the stories of thirty-one acclaimed writers including Kim Barnes, Walter Bennett, Russell Chatham, Guy de la Valdne, Robert DeMott, Chris Dombrowski, Ron Ellis, Jim Fergus, Kate Fox, Charles Gaines, Bruce Guernsey, Jim Harrison, Pam Houston, Michael Keaton, Greg Keeler, Sydney Lea, Ted Leeson, Nick Lyons, Craig Mathews, Thomas McGuane, Joseph Monninger, Howard Frank Mosher, Jake Mosher, Craig Nova, Margot Page, Datus Proper, Le Anne Schreiber, Paul Schullery, W. D. Wetherell, and Robert Wrigley come together in one collection. Fly fishers and non-fly fishers alike will recognize in these poignant tales the universal aspects of the appreciation of nature, the necessity of conservation, and the joy and knowledge that come from time spent on fresh and salt water. This is a delightful, handsome volume that captures the allure and spirit of fly fishing and those that love it.
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Flowery nonsense
- By 964a5 on 05-10-13
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The Plover
- By: Brian Doyle
- Narrated by: David Drummond
- Length: 9 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Declan O Donnell has sailed out of Oregon and deep into the vast, wild ocean, having had just finally enough of other people and their problems. He will go it alone, he will be his own country, he will be beholden to and beloved of no one. No man is an island, my butt, he thinks. I am that very man.... But the galaxy soon presents him with a string of odd, entertaining, and dangerous passengers, who become companions of every sort and stripe. The Plover is the story of their adventures and misadventures in the immense blue country one of their company calls Pacifica.
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Poetry, the sea and finally story
- By WA islander on 09-12-15
By: Brian Doyle
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If You Didn't Bring Jerky, What Did I Just Eat?
- Misadventures in Hunting, Fishing, and the Wilds of Suburbia
- By: Bill Heavey
- Narrated by: Ian Patrick Williams
- Length: 6 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Whether he is accidentally cooking his brain with hand warmers or yanking his lure away from a trophy fish just before it takes the bait, Bill Heavey can do no right. For almost a decade, he has chronicled his incompetence on the back page of Field & Stream, where his hilarious dispatches about life as a hapless outdoorsman who lives in suburbia have earned him legions of fans.
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Great book
- By Jon Hiltz on 07-21-18
By: Bill Heavey
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Mannheim Rex
- By: Robert Pobi
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 14 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Recently widowered and grieving, Gavin flees New York City for the quiet of the country. His new home on Lake Caldasac has surprisingly few visitors, and the author soon learns why: a suspiciously high number of people have gone missing in the small town. The deaths have all been ruled accidents, but Finn Horn, a handicapped boy obsessed with fishing, knows the truth. There’s a monster in the lake. And it wants to feed.
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Interesting and fun
- By Bob on 01-14-13
By: Robert Pobi
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All the Winters After
- A Novel
- By: Seré Prince Halverson
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 10 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Kachemak Winkel never intended to come back to his hometown of Caboose, Alaska, where his family died in a plane crash 20 years earlier. When he finally musters the courage to return and face his painful memories, he's surprised to find a mysterious young woman living in his abandoned house.
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The Old Old Story
- By Bruce on 06-16-16
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Racing the Rain
- A Novel
- By: John L. Parker Jr.
- Narrated by: Jim Meskimen
- Length: 10 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Quenton Cassidy's first foot races are with nature itself: the summer storms that sweep through his subtropical neighborhood. Shirtless, barefoot, and brown as a berry, Cassidy is a skinny, mouthy kid with aspirations to be a great athlete. As he explores his primal surroundings along the Loxahatchee River and the nearby Atlantic Ocean, he is befriended by Trapper Nelson, "the Tarzan of the Loxahatchee", a well-known eccentric who lives off the land.
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I just finished reading it again!
- By Jonathan on 01-11-16
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The Source of All Things
- A Memoir
- By: Tracy Ross
- Narrated by: Tracy Ross
- Length: 7 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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A loving and devoted step-father, Donnie introduced Tracy Ross's family to the joys of fishing, deer hunting, camping, and hiking among the pristine mountains of rural Idaho. Donnie was everything Tracy dreamed a dad would be: protective, brave, and kind. But when his dependence on his eight-year-old daughter's companionship went too far, everything changed.
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Brave Woman
- By Ray Stewart on 06-23-24
By: Tracy Ross
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Charlie St. Cloud
- By: Ben Sherwood
- Narrated by: Richard Poe
- Length: 7 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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In a snug New England fishing village, Charlie St. Cloud tends the lawns and monuments of an ancient cemetery where his younger brother, Sam, is buried. After surviving the car accident that claimed his brother's life, Charlie is graced with an extraordinary gift: He can see, talk to, and even play catch with Sam's spirit. Into this magical world comes Tess Carroll, a captivating woman training for a solo sailing trip around the globe.
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Charlie St. Cloud is haunting
- By Joan on 09-29-11
By: Ben Sherwood
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Trout Eyes
- True Tales of Adventure, Travel, and Fly Fishing
- By: William G. Tapply
- Narrated by: Donald Corren
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Fly fishermen everywhere will enjoy these varied, witty, and engaging adventures by one of America’s finest outdoor writers. There is a long section on trout fishing called "Brookies, Browns, and Bows", and another on the challenges and excitement of saltwater fly fishing, and an exciting group of memoirs about fishing near home and in far-flung and often exotic places - like the Minipi, Bighorn, and Norfolk rivers, where the trout can beggar the imagination, and where frustration can be the occupational hazard.
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Hidden Gems of Fishing
- By C. Smith on 10-28-15
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Raven Stole the Moon
- A Novel
- By: Garth Stein
- Narrated by: Jennifer Van Dyck
- Length: 12 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Jenna Rosen returns to the place in Alaska where her young son, Bobby, disappeared without a trace two years before. Jenna is determined to lay to rest the aching mystery of his death. But ancient legends may have had a hand in Bobby’s fate, forcing Jenna to sift through her own Native American ancestry to uncover the truth.
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I love this book
- By Em mom of 3 on 08-27-18
By: Garth Stein
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Captain Phil Harris
- The Legendary Crab Fisherman, Our Hero, Our Dad
- By: Josh Harris, Jake Harris, Steve Springer, and others
- Narrated by: Pete Larkin
- Length: 6 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Prior to his untimely death, in 2010, Captain Phil Harris was a star of Discovery Channel's Deadliest Catch, the hit show that follows the exhilarating lives of Alaskan crab fishermen as they brave the vicious Bering Sea. He led his crew through hurricane-force winds and four-story-high waves, hauling in millions of pounds of crab and raking in millions of dollars. Phil worked hard, but he played even harder....
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Almost cried again!
- By The Girls on 09-12-16
By: Josh Harris, and others
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The Orenda
- A Novel
- By: Joseph Boyden
- Narrated by: Ali Ahn, Graham Rowat, Edoardo Ballerini
- Length: 17 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Christophe has been in the New World only a year when his native guides abandon him to flee their Iroquois pursuers. A Huron warrior and elder named Bird soon takes him prisoner, along with a young Iroquois girl, Snow Falls, whose family he has just killed, and holds them captive in his massive village. Champlain's Iron People have only recently begun trading with the Huron, who mistrust them as well as this Crow who has now trespassed onto their land; and her people, of course, have become the Huron's greatest enemy.
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Thoughtful and interesting, if not always gripping
- By David on 06-15-14
By: Joseph Boyden
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Hound of the Sea
- Wild Man. Wild Waves. Wild Wisdom.
- By: Garrett McNamara, Karen Karbo
- Narrated by: Rudy Sanda
- Length: 8 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Big-wave surfer Garrett McNamara set the world record for the sport, surfing a 78-foot wave in Nazare, Portugal, in 2011, a record he smashed two years later at the same break. Propelled by the challenge and promise of bigger, more difficult waves, this adrenaline-fueled loner and polarizing figure travels the globe to ride the most dangerous swells the oceans have to offer, from calving glaciers to hurricane swells. But what motivates McNamara to go to such extremes - to risk everything for one thrilling ride?
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Awesome Story and Narration.
- By oregonlife on 10-16-18
By: Garrett McNamara, and others
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Shadow Show
- All-New Stories in Celebration of Ray Bradbury
- By: Sam Weller - editor, Mort Castle - editor
- Narrated by: George Takei, Edward Herrmann, Kate Mulgrew, and others
- Length: 14 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Ray Bradbury - peerless storyteller, poet of the impossible, and one of America's most beloved authors - is a literary giant whose remarkable career spanned seven decades. Now 26 of today's most diverse and celebrated authors offer new short works in honor of the master; stories of heart, intelligence, and dark wonder from a remarkable range of creative artists.
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THE MAN WHO FORGOT RAY BRADBURY
- By Jim "The Impatient" on 05-27-17
By: Sam Weller - editor, and others