Lord Vishnu's Love Handles
A Spy Novel (Sort Of)
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Narrated by:
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William Dufris
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By:
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Will Clarke
About this listen
Travis Anderson has a psychic gift. Or so he thinks. So far he's milked his premonitions only to acquire an upper-middle-class lifestyle, pretty wife, big house, and a shiny Range Rover, without having to make any real effort. But recent visions threaten his yuppie contentment. Haunted by omens of impending cancers, stillborn babies, and personal train wrecks, he is compelled to make a series of inaccurate and horrifying prophecies that humiliate him in front of his fellow country club members. The IRS gets Travis's number, too, demanding an audit of his sloppy bookkeeping.
Drowning in mounting financial problems and apparent mental illness, Travis tries booze, pills, even golf to stay afloat, but nothing works. His wife and friends are forced to stage an intervention. Travis is in danger of losing his family, his career, and ultimately, his sanity. That is, until he meets a Hindu holy man in rehab who claims to be the final incarnation of Lord Vishnu. Suddenly, the tragically shallow Travis is saddled with the responsibility of bettering mankind and saving the world.
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"Will Clarke is part David Sedaris, part Dave Eggers, part Charlie Kaufman, Hunter S. Thompson, Tom Robbins, and Kurt Vonnegut...and a 100 percent original Will Clarke." (Sara Pritchard)
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Amazing Loving and Sexy
- By Princess Lucy on 12-28-17
By: Estelle Laure
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Sandman Slim
- Sandman Slim, Book 1
- By: Richard Kadrey
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 10 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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When he was 19, James Stark was considered to be one of the greatest natural magicians, a reputation that got him demon-snatched and sent downtown - to Hell - where he survived as a gladiator, a sideshow freak entertaining Satan's fallen angels. That was 11 years ago. Now, the hitman who goes only by Stark has escaped and is back in L.A. Armed with a fortune-telling coin, a black bone knife, and an infernal key, Stark is determined to destroy the magic circle.
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jack bauer + spawn = sandman slim
- By Mike Naka on 11-03-12
By: Richard Kadrey
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Lethal
- By: Cassandra Robbins
- Narrated by: Troy Duran, Devon Grace
- Length: 11 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Like currency, I’ve become part of a transaction. Blade took me to pay off a debt. I try to tell myself, Eve, you should hate him. He’s a bad guy. But then again, I’m not a good girl. Blade’s the president of the Disciples, the notorious motorcycle club. I should be frightened, yet somehow, he doesn’t scare me. If anything, I think I scare him.
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TUT-TUTS, TEMPERS & TEASES AS A BADASS BIKER BENDS
- By CAROLYN 🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹🔹 on 12-01-20
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Son of a Trickster
- By: Eden Robinson
- Narrated by: Jason Ryll
- Length: 9 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
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Everyone knows a guy like Jared: the burnout kid in high school who sells weed cookies and has a scary mom who's often wasted and wielding some kind of weapon. Jared does smoke and drink too much, and he does make the best cookies in town, and his mom is a mess, but he's also a kid who has an immense capacity for compassion and an impulse to watch over people more than twice his age, and he can't rely on anyone for consistent love and support, except for his flatulent pit bull, Baby Killer (he calls her Baby) - and now she's dead.
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Not Enough Fantasy. Too much pot.
- By Rena Tarlini on 09-07-19
By: Eden Robinson
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Accidental Hero
- A Marriage Mistake Romance
- By: Nicole Snow
- Narrated by: Rose Dioro, Mason Lloyd
- Length: 8 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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It was one freaking kiss with a stranger. I wasn't looking for a hero the day Brent Eden charged into my life. He saw a damsel in distress facing humiliation. We played pretend. Swore I was his. Baited sweet chaos. Blew apart everything. My dating disaster? Gone. Our kiss? Electric. Divine. Toe-curling. His mistake? Oh, boy. Dropping the ultimate F-bomb: fiancée. Especially when my gossipy cousin tells the whole family.
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Pleasant...
- By Lisy on 10-25-18
By: Nicole Snow
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Capture
- By: Rachel Van Dyken
- Narrated by: Brittany Pressley, Peter Coleman
- Length: 7 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Losing your ability to speak at the age of 17; it's not normal or fair. But trauma has a way of throwing normality out the window. Dani lives anything but a normal life: her sister is married to one of the biggest names in Hollywood, her best friends are rock stars, and she has more love around her than most people experience in a lifetime. But that doesn't change the fact their parents are dead, or that it's her fault. It seems her new normal is being a mute, living on the inside, unable to actually communicate on the outside.
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Great story
- By TeaReads on 08-05-17
By: Rachel Van Dyken
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Slice of Cherry
- By: Dia Reeves
- Narrated by: Suzy Jackson
- Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Kit and Fancy Cordelle are sisters of the best kind: best friends, best confidantes, and best accomplices. The daughters of the infamous Bonesaw Killer, Kit and Fancy are used to feeling like outsiders, and that's just the way they like it. But in Portero, where the weird and wild run rampant, the Cordelle sisters are hardly the oddest or most dangerous creatures around. It's no surprise when Kit and Fancy start to give in to their deepest desire: the desire to kill.
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Surreal, riveting tale
- By pakkmom on 02-11-11
By: Dia Reeves
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Hellhole
- By: Gina Damico
- Narrated by: Macleod Andrews
- Length: 9 hrs
- Unabridged
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There was a time when geeky, squeaky-clean Max Kilgore would never lie or steal or even think about murder. Then he accidentally unearths a devil, and Max's choices are no longer his own. The big red guy has a penchant for couch surfing and junk food - and you should never underestimate evil on a sugar high.
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What you would expect from Gina Damico
- By Midwestbonsai on 03-03-15
By: Gina Damico
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Make Something Up
- Stories You Can't Unread
- By: Chuck Palahniuk
- Narrated by: Chuck Palahniuk, Scott Sowers, Rich Orlow, and others
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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For years Chuck Palahniuk has reserved his best storytelling for his readings, often choosing to read a new short story instead of whatever novel he is supposed to be promoting. Make Something Up compiles these previously unpublished tales for the very first time, plus the Byliner social media insta-classic "Phoenix" and Palahniuk's most notable pieces from Playboy.
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Plenty of shock, just not enough Palahniuk awe
- By Darwin8u on 06-10-15
By: Chuck Palahniuk
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Bleeding Violet
- By: Dia Reeves
- Narrated by: Suzy Jackson
- Length: 9 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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With a head plagued by hallucinations, a medicine cabinet full of pills, and a closet stuffed with frilly, violet dresses, Hanna's tired of being the outcast, the weird girl, the freak. So she runs away to Portero, Texas, in search of a new home. But Portero is a stranger town than Hanna expects. She discovers secrets that would terrify any normal soul. Good thing for Hanna, she's far from normal. As this crazy girl meets an even crazier town, only two things are certain: Anything can happen, and no one is safe.
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Didn't like it. Sorry, not sorry
- By Cii'Em on 02-15-16
By: Dia Reeves
What listeners say about Lord Vishnu's Love Handles
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Jacob Woodhams
- 08-13-17
Huh.
Entertaining to listen to. Pretty dark at times, but very good narration. Interesting story. Enjoyed the blue motherfucker inserted throughout.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Melissa
- 09-24-15
One of the worst books I've ever read
This book was ridiculous full of plotholes and the only thing that compelled me to finish it was to be able to say that I finished it before writing this review.
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Overall
- Carmela
- 09-05-05
Awful
This is one of the worst books I have downloaded since I joined several years ago. I couldn't finish it, which is rare for me. Granted, some parts are laugh-out loud funny, but that doesn't make up for the absurd, hallucinatory stretches of prose that I never could make sense of. I really can't tell you the entire plot of the novel because I just didn't understand it and, after awhile, I didn't care. I never cared for the protagonist, nor for his self-absorbed wife, nor for the premise of the story.
I am all for imaginative, out-of-the-mainstream writing, but this was just pure nonsense.
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4 people found this helpful