Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem
Strange Stories from the Bible to Leave You Amused, Bemused, and (Hopefully) Informed
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Narrated by:
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Jakob Lewis
About this listen
This humorous audiobook is full of new insights into ways we’ve been missing the point of so many beloved Bible stories.
Approximately 80 percent of Americans admit they haven’t read the Bible. If they did, they’d be pleasantly surprised by its impressive quantity of sex and poop jokes.
David danced naked. Noah was basically a moonshining hillbilly. Ezekiel baked poop bread. Herod was eaten by worms. Jesus cursed a fig tree, just to prove he could. Mark went streaking. Hosea married a prostitute. Lot was date-raped by his own daughters.
It turns out, there’s a lot of weird stuff in the Bible. Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem is a funny look at some of the stranger tales in the Bible. From Elisha, who loosed homicidal bears on some kids because they called him bald (it’s a long story), to the story of Ehud, who gets away with assassinating a tyrannical king because his servants think said king is taking a dump (also a long story), this audiobook examines and casts new light on some of the Bible’s stranger moments.
Organized by topic (poop, genitalia, weird violence, prostitution, gratuitous nudity, seemingly pointless miracles, and other fun stuff), Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem is a thoroughly researched (really!), reverent, and insightful look at the amazing book at the center of our faith.
©2020 Luke Terrell Harrington (P)2020 Thomas NelsonListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
"We've grown bored of the socially acceptable version of the Bible. That's why we need someone like Luke Harrington who is somehow able to see the Bible for what it is: a book full of gross, disgusting, scandalous incidents. By forcing us to reckon with the more unbecoming details that get left out of our children's story Bibles, Luke reclaims the Bible for adults and teenage boys everywhere." —Richard Clark, former editor for Christianity Today, former editor-in-chief of Christ and Pop Culture
"Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem is like a comedy act and a seminary course rolled into one. I don't think I've ever read a book that had me laughing out loud and looking at the footnotes as many times as this one. Luke Harrington gives the grit and gore of the Bible its due - and masterfully shows how even these point us to grace and to the gospel." —Karen Swallow Prior, author of On Reading Well: Finding the Good Life through Great Books
"The Bible is many wonderful things, including weird. We need more weird writers writing about it. And I say that as the highest compliment because Luke writes with verve and fun and style, and there aren't many who can do that. He makes us see weirdness in a fresh way, which, as it turns out, is a beautiful way." —Brant Hansen, radio host and author of The Truth About Us, Unoffendable, and Blessed Are the Misfits
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Bringing to life the world of the Old and New Testaments, the acclaimed creator of the bestselling Don’t Know Much About® series transforms dry, difficult reading into colorful and realistic accounts. Relying on new research and improved translations, Kenneth C. Davis uncovers some amazing questions and contradictions about what the Bible really says: Jericho’s walls may have tumbled down because the city lies on a fault line; Moses never parted the Red Sea; There was a Jesus, but he wasn’t born on Christmas and he probably wasn't an only child....
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decent survey of the topic
- By bookouri on 02-02-14
By: Kenneth C. Davis
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The Kingdom
- By: Emmanuel Carrère, John Lambert - translator, Claire Bloom - director
- Narrated by: Stefan Rudnicki
- Length: 16 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Gripped by the tale of a Messiah whose blood we drink and body we eat, the genre-defying author Emmanuel Carrère revisits the story of the early Church in his latest work. With an idiosyncratic and at times iconoclastic take on the charms and foibles of the Church fathers, Carrère ferries listeners through his "doors" into the biblical narrative. Once inside, he follows the ragtag group of early Christians through the tumultuous days of the faith's founding.
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The Gospel of Emmanuel
- By Mark on 12-31-17
By: Emmanuel Carrère, and others
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You Were Made for This Moment
- Courage for Today and Hope for Tomorrow
- By: Max Lucado
- Narrated by: Ben Holland
- Length: 4 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Are you weary? Worn out by the bills that keep stacking, a virus that keeps raging, or a heart that keeps aching? If so, the book of Esther brings welcome news: Relief will come! To be clear, you didn't ask for this struggle. You want to get past it. You don't know how much longer you can hold up. But what if God is with you in this difficult season? When life seems off the rails, remember this truth: the minute you bow your head to pray is the moment God lifts his hand to help.
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Do you need hope?
- By Tammy Kfoury on 11-10-21
By: Max Lucado
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Born to Kvetch
- Yiddish Language and Culture in All of Its Moods
- By: Michael Wex
- Narrated by: Michael Wex
- Length: 10 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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As the main spoken language of the Jews for more than a thousand years, Yiddish has had plenty to lament, plenty to conceal. Its phrases and expressions paint a comprehensive picture of the mind-set that enabled the Jews of Europe to survive persecution: they never stopped kvetching about God, gentiles, children, and everything else.
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Fascinating, but...
- By Christopher B. on 04-05-16
By: Michael Wex
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God in the Qur'an
- God in Three Classic Scriptures
- By: Jack Miles
- Narrated by: Peter Altschuler
- Length: 9 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Who is Allah? What does he ask of those who submit to his teachings? Pulitzer Prize-winner Jack Miles gives us a deeply probing, revelatory portrait of the world’s second largest, fastest-growing, and perhaps most tragically misunderstood religion. In doing so, Miles illuminates what is unique about Allah, his teachings, and his resolutely merciful temperament, and he thereby reveals that which is false, distorted, or simply absent from the popular conception of the heart of Islam.
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Comparison between the Holy Bible and Holy Qur'an
- By Recession Proof Holdings. L.L.C. (RPH) on 12-29-18
By: Jack Miles
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Christ
- A Crisis in the Life of God
- By: Jack Miles
- Narrated by: Grover Gardner
- Length: 10 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Jack Miles's book is a provocative and revisionary look at the life of Jesus, in which many of the most well-worn truths about Christ are recontextualized and revisited. It does not look for the historical Jesus, but takes the Gospels as the sole source about his life.
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Missed a lot of stuff
- By Wintertao on 01-08-21
By: Jack Miles
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A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum
- Murder in Ancient Rome
- By: Emma Southon
- Narrated by: Sophie Ward
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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In ancient Rome, all the best stories have one thing in common - murder. In one 50-year period, 26 emperors were murdered. But what did killing mean in a city where gladiators fought to the death to sate a crowd? In A Fatal Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum, Emma Southon examines a trove of real-life homicides from Roman history to explore Roman culture, including how perpetrator, victim, and the act itself were regarded by ordinary people. Inside ancient Rome’s darkly fascinating history, we see how the Romans viewed life and death and what it means to be human.
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Narration is stilted, author tries too hard
- By Allison Jackson on 07-13-21
By: Emma Southon
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The Lost Gospel
- Decoding the Ancient Text That Reveals Jesus' Marriage to Mary the Magdalene
- By: Simcha Jacobovici, Barrie Wilson
- Narrated by: Bob Souer
- Length: 12 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Waiting to be rediscovered in the British Library is an ancient manuscript of the early Church, copied by an anonymous monk. The manuscript is at least 1,450 years old, possibly dating to the first century, Jesus' lifetime. And now, The Lost Gospel provides the first-ever translation from Syriac into English of this unique document that tells the inside story of Jesus' social, family, and political life. The Lost Gospel takes listeners on an unparalleled historical adventure through a paradigm-shifting manuscript.
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Very well-crafted but uses lot of sketchy material
- By Leifen on 01-09-18
By: Simcha Jacobovici, and others
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Apocrypha Now
- By: Mark Russell, Shannon Wheeler
- Narrated by: James Urbaniak
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Mark Russell & Shannon Wheeler's faithful yet irreverent approach to the Bible made their book God Is Disappointed in You a modern cult classic. Now, by popular demand, they turn their attention to the best parts left out of the canonical Bible, including the Midrash, the Apocrypha, Gnostic Gospels, and more! And if you thought the Bible had some weird stuff in it....
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A Goldmine of Weirdness
- By Susie on 05-31-16
By: Mark Russell, and others
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The Day Approaching
- An Israeli’s Message of Warning and Hope for the Last Days
- By: Amir Tsarfati
- Narrated by: Amir Tsarfati
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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When Jesus spoke about the last days, He said that certain signs would make it clear His return is near. What are those signs? And are they evident today? As a Jewish-native Israeli who is a Christian, Amir Tsarfati has a distinct perspective that weaves biblical history, current events, and Bible prophecy together to shine light on the mysteries about the end times. From his vantage point at the epicenter of today’s religious conflict and through careful Bible study, Tsarfati points to Scripture passages that inform us the return of the Lord is imminent.
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Great Audiobook, highly recommend!
- By Anonymous User on 03-04-20
By: Amir Tsarfati
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The Message/Remix
- The New Testament in Contemporary Language
- By: Eugene Peterson
- Narrated by: Contemporary Christian Music Artists
- Length: 19 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Why does a 2,000-year-old book still matter? Why should it? The answer is found in The Message: REMIX New Testament, today's Bible in contemporary language for tomorrow's leaders. The Message has had a profound impact on millions of people worldwide, including some of the best-known artists in contemporary Christian music today. The Message: REMIX is read by artists whose lives have been impacted by The Message.
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Cheesy but good.
- By Chris on 05-31-05
By: Eugene Peterson
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The Bible's Cutting Room Floor
- The Holy Scriptures Missing from Your Bible
- By: Joel M. Hoffman
- Narrated by: Jonathan Todd Ross
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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In The Bible’s Cutting Room Floor, acclaimed author and translator Dr. Joel M. Hoffman gives us the stories and other texts that didn’t make it into the Bible even though they offer penetrating insight into the Bible and its teachings. The Book of Genesis tells us about Adam and Eve’s time in the Garden of Eden, but not their saga after they get kicked out or the lessons they have for us about good and evil.
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Good content, rather poor presentation by narrator
- By J_T on 12-28-16
By: Joel M. Hoffman
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The Daily Message
- By: Eugene H. Peterson
- Narrated by: Kelly Ryan Dolan
- Length: 76 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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The much-anticipated daily "reading" version of The Message in audio format is finally here. Designed for individuals as well as small groups, The Daily Message combines Discipleship Journal's renowned book-at-a-time reading plan with a flexible format that allows the listener to go through the Bible in one year or spread out the listening with an alternate two-year plan. This version provides monthly plans for 26 readings, and allows for reflection time, minimizing frustration.
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Making daily Bible reading an attainable goal!
- By Mark and Amy Acker on 09-12-12
What listeners say about Murder-Bears, Moonshine, and Mayhem
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- James B.
- 12-31-20
Funny, but not only funny
Crazy stories you might have missed, and digging in to stories you have heard of to show key details you might have missed, often by comparing translations. For instance, people have generally taken the story of Onan to mean one thing, but if you read the actual verse they are referring to it means something else, then if you read the story in context it means something different still.
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- Courtney Clements Nowacki
- 05-29-21
Incredible. Simply incredible.
I’ll start by saying this is definitely not a book for children, As you may have guessed from its title. That being said it is quite possibly other than the Bible itself the best book I have ever read/listen to. I do not say this lightly when I say...
EVERYBODY AND THEIR PEARL CLUTCHING MOMMAS NEEDS TO READ THIS BOOK.
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- carissa
- 12-12-20
Must listen!
The way Luke narrates the book is so great I can't imagine reading it! Smart, witty, and accurate. Job well done!
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- Jake Hollis
- 10-09-20
Mockery of the Holy Bible
Maybe its just me and I missed something but it appears the author is simply trying his hand at what he thinks is comedy. Nothing more than making fun and making light of biblical stories. Not recommended if your trying to learn more about the holy bible.
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