None of This Would Have Happened If Prince Were Alive
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Rebekkah Ross
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By:
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Carolyn Prusa
About this listen
Perfect for fans of Maria Semple and Jennifer Weiner, this “laugh-out-loud gem” (Beck Dorey-Stein, New York Times bestselling) of a debut novel follows Ramona through the forty-eight hours after her life has been upended by the discovery of her husband’s affair and an approaching hurricane.
Ramona has a bratty boss, a potty-training toddler, a critical and over-sharing mom, and oops—a cheating husband. That’s how a Category Four hurricane bearing down on her life in Savannah becomes just another item on her to-do list. In the next forty-eight hours she’ll add a neighborhood child and the class guinea pig named Clarence Thomas to her entourage as she struggles to evacuate town.
Ignoring the persistent glow of her minivan’s check engine light, Ramona navigates police check points, bathroom emergencies, demands from her boss, and torrential downpours while fielding calls and apology texts from her cheating husband and longing for the days when her life was like a Prince song, full of sexy creativity and joy.
Thoroughly entertaining and completely relatable, None of This Would Have Happened if Prince Were Alive is the “keenly observant, fast-paced” (Amy Poeppel, author of Musical Chairs) story of modern womanhood.
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Story
In April 2002, Janine Latus' youngest sister, Amy, wrote a note and taped it to the inside of her desk drawer. "Today Ron Ball and I are romantically involved", it read, "but I fear I have placed myself at risk in a variety of ways. Based on his criminal past, writing this out just seems like the smart thing to do. If I am missing or dead this obviously has not protected me...."
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All About Janine
- By Ellen on 07-02-07
By: Janine Latus
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Whiskey & Ribbons
- By: Leesa Cross-Smith
- Narrated by: Larry Heron, Joe Bearor, Tunisia Hardison
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Set in contemporary Louisville, Leesa Cross-Smith's mesmerizing first novel surrounding the death of a police officer is a requiem for marriage, friendship, and family, from an author Roxane Gay has called "a consummate storyteller". Evi - a classically-trained ballerina - was nine months pregnant when her husband Eamon was killed in the line of duty on a steamy morning in July. Now, it is winter, and Eamon's adopted brother Dalton has moved in to help her raise six-month-old Noah.
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Beautifully Tragic and Heart Healing
- By Jennifer Glover on 08-17-18
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How to Be a Grown-Up
- By: Emma McLaughlin, Nicola Kraus
- Narrated by: Tara Sands
- Length: 7 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Rory McGovern is entering the prime of her life when her husband loses his dream job and announces he feels like "taking a break". Rory was already spread thin and now, without warning, she is single-parenting two kids, juggling their science projects, flu season, and pajama days, while coming to terms with her disintegrating marriage. Without Blake, her only hope is to accept a full-time position working for two full-time 20-somethings.
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Performance
- By Jill on 02-10-16
By: Emma McLaughlin, and others
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Get Lucky
- By: Katherine Center
- Narrated by: Morgan Hallett
- Length: 8 hrs and 13 mins
- Unabridged
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Filled with wit and heart, Get Lucky by Katherine Center explores the deep bonds of sisterhood. Sarah Harper’s whole world revolved around her job at a New York advertising agency before an email snafu got her fired. Now she’s seeking refuge at her sister Mackie’s home in Houston. But Mackie, who’s unable to get pregnant, is also down-and-out these days. So Sarah decides to do something good and becomes a surrogate mother.
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Finding what matters most in life
- By bizymom7 on 10-12-24
By: Katherine Center
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The Golden State
- A Novel
- By: Lydia Kiesling
- Narrated by: Amanda Dolan
- Length: 9 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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In Lydia Kiesling's razor-sharp debut novel, The Golden State, we accompany Daphne, a young mother on the edge of a breakdown, as she flees her sensible but strained life in San Francisco for the high desert of Altavista with her toddler Honey. Bucking under the weight of being a single parent - her Turkish husband is unable to return to the United States because of a "processing error" - Daphne takes refuge in a mobile home left to her by her grandparents in hopes that the quiet will bring clarity.
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Tedious read but delightful reader Amanda Dolan
- By Eric on 02-14-19
By: Lydia Kiesling
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The Miseducation of Cameron Post
- By: Emily M. Danforth
- Narrated by: Beth Laufer
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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Cameron Post feels a mix of guilt and relief when her parents die in a car accident. Their deaths mean they will never learn the truth she eventually comes to - that she's gay. Orphaned, Cameron comes to live with her old-fashioned grandmother and ultraconservative aunt Ruth. When she’s eventually outed, her aunt sends her to God’s Promise, a religious conversion camp that is supposed to “cure” her homosexuality. At the camp, Cameron comes face to face with the cost of denying her true identity.
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A very worthwhile Read!
- By TENA on 11-02-14
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This Raging Light
- By: Estelle Laure
- Narrated by: Sandy Rustin
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Lucille seems to have nothing going for her. With the bills piling in, the house falling apart around her, and her sister's growing distress, it is precisely the worst possible moment for Lucille to fall recklessly in love with her best friend's twin brother, Digby, who is practically engaged.
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Amazing Loving and Sexy
- By Princess Lucy on 12-28-17
By: Estelle Laure
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Why Can't I Be You
- By: Allie Larkin
- Narrated by: Julia Whelan
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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When Jenny Shaw hears someone shout "Jessie!" across a hotel lobby, she impulsively answers. All her life, Jenny has toed the line, but something propels her to seize the opportunity to become Jessie Morgan, a woman to whom she bears an uncanny resemblance. Lonely in her own life, Jenny is embraced by Jessie’s warm circle of friends - and finds unexpected romance. But when she delves into Jessie’s past, Jenny discovers a secret that spurs her to take another leap into the unknown.
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Silly
- By Hilary on 05-20-15
By: Allie Larkin
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The Bitter and Sweet of Cherry Season
- By: Molly Fader
- Narrated by: Nancy Peterson
- Length: 9 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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Everything Hope knows about the Orchard House is from the stories of her late mother. So when she arrives at the northern Michigan family estate late one night with a terrible secret and her 10-year-old daughter in tow, she’s not sure if she’ll be welcomed or turned away with a shotgun by the aunt she has never met.
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Really Enjoyed It
- By Kathryn @theBookDate on 03-30-21
By: Molly Fader
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So Close
- By: Emma McLaughlin
- Narrated by: Emily Durante
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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Amanda Beth Luker has spent her whole life desperately looking for someone who can show her the way out of her trailer park Florida town. And then, finally, help arrives - in the form of Tom Davis, a successful lawyer with political aspirations who grew up just a few towns over from Amanda. But it's his wife, Lindsay, who really captures Amanda's imagination. Strong, smart, and determined, she gives Amanda something she's never had: a role model.
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I've never been so mad at a book before.
- By Stacie on 06-15-16
By: Emma McLaughlin
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Autobiography of a Fat Bride
- True Tales of a Pretend Adulthood
- By: Laurie Notaro
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In Autobiography of a Fat Bride, Laurie Notaro tries painfully to make the transition from all-night partyer and bar-stool regular to mortgagee with plumbing problems and no air conditioning. Laurie finds grown-up life just as harrowing as her reckless youth, as she meets Mr. Right, moves in, settles down, and crosses the toe-stubbing threshold of matrimony.
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Hilarious
- By MissSusie66 on 05-10-12
By: Laurie Notaro
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Too Bright to Hear Too Loud to See
- By: Juliann Garey
- Narrated by: Dan Butler
- Length: 11 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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In her tour-de-force first novel, Juliann Garey takes us inside the restless mind, ravaged heart, and anguished soul of Greyson Todd, a successful Hollywood studio executive who leaves his wife and young daughter and for a decade travels the world giving free reign to the bipolar disorder he's been forced to keep hidden for almost 20 years.
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Psychosis or Syphilis?
- By Vira on 04-02-13
By: Juliann Garey
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Ramona Blue
- By: Julie Murphy
- Narrated by: Therese Plummer
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
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Ramona was only five years old when Hurricane Katrina changed her life forever. Since then it's been Ramona and her family against the world. Standing over six feet tall, with unmistakable blue hair, Ramona is sure of three things: She likes girls, she's fiercely devoted to her family, and she knows she's destined for something bigger than the trailer she calls home in Eulogy, Mississippi. But juggling multiple jobs, her flaky mom, and her well-meaning but ineffectual dad forces her to be the adult of the family.
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Where was this book ten years ago?
- By S. F. Wilson on 05-08-18
By: Julie Murphy
What listeners say about None of This Would Have Happened If Prince Were Alive
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Fairly Local
- 03-10-23
Light quick book
This book was fine. Not super deep or complicated , but definitely had parts relatable to most moms.
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- Leila Abel
- 07-17-23
Love the title. Don’t love the ending.
Started cute & strong. Tried to love it. But dislike when writers try to “sneak in” their political stance and I didn’t agree with how it ended. Easy read/listening.
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- Kylee
- 11-23-22
Loved this book!
Loved this story! So funny and uplifting. We all have bad days and this helps you laugh at them.
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- Chris Lane
- 10-10-23
That’s great I starts with a Earthquake
Yes I know that is REM, but they are from Georgia. Anyway I loved the this book. The storm created a tense drive, and relationship is rock to its core, and no animal dies (although a cat disappears)
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- K. O'Sullivan
- 12-28-22
Fun & funny Hurricane Matthew story
Easy listen for the holidays. It was slightly irritating that the reader couldn’t pronounce Valdosta correctly but otherwise a good performance.
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- Kindle Customer
- 03-30-24
Hilarious & poignant
Laugh-aloud hilarious + pitch-perfect portrait of load of modern motherhood + reflections on grief, expectations & hope. loved
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- Britt
- 01-10-23
great!!
Loved this book. Author is witty, sarcastic, and funny. she really nails some of the common points of motherhood and the chaos that accompanies it. Very entertaining. Great characters. I also enjoyed the narrator. Definitely 5 stars!
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- Susan
- 02-24-23
Hmmm
Just didn’t end right for me. Cute characters. Good easy listen.
Wonder if there will be a follow up. It was certainly left open for one.
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- Theresa Urban
- 05-21-23
Nope. It just never took off…. Waited and waited and waited……
Did not enjoy all the “He said”, “she said” within the story and wasn’t a fan of the narrator. Sorry line was very bland. Easy read but very Ho-hum.
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- Catherine Osborne Groninger
- 02-20-23
Wanted to love it
Did not love it. Love the love of Prince. Love the title. That’s all, folks .
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