Old People Sex: And Other Highly Offensive Poems
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Narrated by:
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Ashley Lister
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By:
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Ashley Lister
About this listen
This audiobook contains a broad selection of Ashley Lister's poems, all of which have been described by various critics as either darkly amusing, absolutely hilarious, or obscenely offensive.
Many of these poems touch on the subject of sex, and this is not surprising. The act of sex, whilst being a lot of fun, is also something that is quite amusing in our contemporary society. Intimacy is something most adults desire, yet the subject remains forbidden and taboo, as though our passions are base, unsavory, or simply inappropriate. The Filipino writer F. Sionil José said, “Poetry is emotion, passion, love, grief - everything that is human. It is not for zombies by zombies”. In that spirit, it would be a poor collection of poetry that did not reflect on that most passionate aspect of life - that is, physical adult intimacy.
Several of these poems have political content. “All poets, all writers, are political. They either maintain the status quo, or they say ‘something’s wrong, let’s change it for the better". (Sonia Sanchez, American poet)
It's debatable whether or not any of these political poems suggest any change for the better. They are simply presented to entertain and amuse audiences with left-wing leanings.
In amongst these poems are a range of pieces that touch on an eclectic variety of subjects such as Cilla Black, growing old, apostrophes, and Romeo and Juliet. The author has provided brief introductions to some pieces whilst others have been presented as self-explanatory artifacts.
It’s also important to accept this collection’s title that some of these poems are highly offensive. Ashley Lister expresses some outrageous opinions and questionable attitudes, all of which is done to entertain because, as the poet Anne Sexton once advised when discussing the art of being a poet, “Whatever you do, don’t be boring".
So, if you are easily offended, this is not the audiobook for you. However, if you’re willing to take the risk, please enjoy the contents.
©2020 Ashley Lister (P)2021 Ashley ListerListeners also enjoyed...
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Story
Winner of the 2001 Audie Award for Classic Fiction, this is an unparalleled presentation of Maugham's stories, complete with sound effects and music.
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Jewels!
- By Jacko45 on 07-05-04
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500 Funny Quotes for Women
- Inspirational Quotes to Boost Your Mood Instantly & Make Your Day a Little Happier!
- By: Stan Hardy
- Narrated by: Jill Rolls
- Length: 1 hr and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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Funny quotes are great; they allow us to take a quick break, relax, and take life a bit easier. And who doesn’t need those in today’s hectic life? Whether you are looking for an innovative way to cheer yourself up and deal with the daily stresses, stay focused and motivated, or simply trying to find a fantastic gift for a friend or a loved one, 500 Funny Quotes for Women could be a perfect choice!
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Made me smile.
- By Lyvon Netherton on 04-13-24
By: Stan Hardy
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Magical Negro
- Poems
- By: Morgan Parker
- Narrated by: Morgan Parker
- Length: 1 hr and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Magical Negro is an archive of black everydayness, a catalog of contemporary folk heroes, an ethnography of ancestral grief, and an inventory of figureheads, idioms, and customs. These American poems are both elegy and jive, joke and declaration, songs of congregation and self-conception. Focused primarily on depictions of black womanhood alongside personal narratives, the collection tackles interior and exterior politics - of both the body and society, of both the individual and the collective experience.
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Waste of time
- By Lida on 07-19-20
By: Morgan Parker
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Your Voice in My Head
- A Memoir
- By: Emma Forrest
- Narrated by: Emma Forrest
- Length: 5 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Emma Forrest, a British journalist, was just 22 and living the fast life in New York City when she realized that her quirks had gone beyond eccentricity. In a cycle of loneliness, damaging relationships, and destructive behavior, she found herself in the chair of a slim, balding, and effortlessly optimistic psychiatrist--a man whose wisdom and humanity would wrench her from the dangerous tide after she tried to end her life.
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Great, quick read
- By Amazon Customer on 02-12-21
By: Emma Forrest
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Challenge Accepted!
- 253 Steps to Becoming an Anti-It Girl
- By: Celeste Barber
- Narrated by: Celeste Barber
- Length: 6 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Part memoir, part comedy routine, part advice manual, Challenge Accepted! is Celeste at her best, revealing her secrets to love, friendship, family, and marriage (oh hai, #hothusband), and how to deal with life’s many challenges - why she checks the bath for sharks, how Nutella quite literally shaped who she is as a woman, and why being famous on Instagram is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s real, like totally, really real.
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Prepare to crack up in the grocery store
- By Chicago_Mama on 05-30-19
By: Celeste Barber
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Disappearing Act
- A Host of Other Characters in 16 Short Stories
- By: Robert Sheehan
- Narrated by: Robert Sheehan
- Length: 7 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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In his debut collection of short stories, Robert Sheehan disappears into characters, challenging the complacencies of everyday experience, often from entirely unexpected angles. Informed by the author’s peripatetic life, Disappearing Act reflects on the absurdity of human behaviour. Sheehan delves deep into his characters’ streams of self-talk and self-imposed delusions, exploring the dark impulses that lurk below the shiny surfaces of many outwardly normal lives.
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as strange as he is
- By DEKEY on 04-08-24
By: Robert Sheehan
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How to Be Famous
- A Novel
- By: Caitlin Moran
- Narrated by: Louise Brealey
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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A hilarious, heartfelt sequel to How to Build a Girl, the breakout novel from feminist sensation Caitlin Moran who the New York Times called, "rowdy and fearless... sloppy, big-hearted and alive in all the right ways." You can’t have your best friend be famous if you’re not famous. It doesn’t work. You’re emotional pen-friends. You can send each other letters - but you’re not doing anything together. You live in different countries.
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AMAZING , but not for the faint of heart
- By Knitme23 on 07-23-18
By: Caitlin Moran
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Dear Fahrenheit 451
- Love and Heartbreak in the Stacks
- By: Annie Spence
- Narrated by: Stephanie Spicer
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Librarians spend their lives weeding - not weeds, but books - books that have reached the end of their shelf life both literally and figuratively. They remove books that patrons no longer check out, and they put back books they treasure. Annie Spence, who has a decade of experience as a Midwestern librarian, does this not only at her Michigan library but also at home, for her neighbors, at cocktail parties - everywhere. In Dear Fahrenheit 451, she addresses those books directly.
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Totally captivating
- By Grace Smith on 03-24-18
By: Annie Spence
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The Guards
- By: Ken Bruen
- Narrated by: Gerry O'Brien
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Still stinging from his unceremonious ouster from the Garda Siochana, and staring at the world through the smoky bottom of his beer mug, Jack Taylor is stuck in Galway with nothing to look forward to. He is teetering on the brink of his life's sharpest edges, his memories of the past cutting deep into his soul and his prospects for the future non-existent.
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This is literature, not just crime fiction
- By John on 08-09-13
By: Ken Bruen
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I Don’t Care about Your Band
- What I Learned from Indie Rockers, Trust Funders, Pornographers, Felons, Faux-Sensitive Hipsters, and Other Guys I’ve Dated
- By: Julie Klausner
- Narrated by: Julie Klausner
- Length: 6 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of Cynthia Heimel and Chelsea Handler, and with the boisterous iconoclasm of Amy Sedaris, Julie Klausner's candid and funny debut I Don't Care about Your Band sheds light on the humiliations we endure to find love - and the lessons that can be culled from the wreckage. I Don't Care about Your Band posits that lately the worst guys to date are the ones who seem sensitive. It's the jerks in nice guy clothing, not the players in Ed Hardy, who break the hearts of modern girls.
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Shopping for Men at the Wrong Mall
- By Pamela Harvey on 01-02-13
By: Julie Klausner
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Surviving Ireland
- By: Colm Tobin
- Narrated by: Colm Tobin
- Length: 4 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
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It's exhausting being Irish. The constant self-flagellation is enough to put anybody off their breakfast. Why are we so hard on ourselves? Is it the postcolonial overhang following centuries of oppression at the hands of a litany of foreign invaders? Or is it collective guilt for sending Westlife out into the wider world? In Surviving Ireland, acclaimed comedy writer Colm Tobin takes the listener by the hand for a satirical romp through modern Irish life.
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very fun
- By Rick on 06-12-19
By: Colm Tobin
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You're Making Me Hate You
- A Cantankerous Look at the Common Misconception That Humans Have Any Common Sense Left
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
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In the tradition of the late, great George Carlin, Corey Taylor, the lead singer of Slipknot and Stone Sour, sounds off in hilarious fashion about the many vagaries of modern life that piss him off. Whether it's people's rude behavior in restaurants and malls, the many indignities of air travel, eye-searingly terrible fashion choices, dangerously clueless drivers, and - most of all - the sorry state of much modern music, Taylor's humor and insight cover civil society's seeming decline.
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New perspective.
- By jeremy on 09-22-15
By: Corey Taylor