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Swine Not?
- A Novel
- Narrated by: L. J. Ganser, Jimmy Buffett
- Length: 4 hrs and 49 mins
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Publisher's summary
When Southern belle Ellie McBride moves her twins from Vertigo, Tennessee, to New York City, they wouldn't dream of leaving behind the family pig, Rumpy. But the posh hotel where Ellie has found work (and living space) has "No Pets" writ large on its portal. So hiding Rumpy from the hotel staff - especially the ultra-carnivorous hotel chef, who would like nothing better than to transform their pet into pork roast - becomes imperative.
Illustrations by Helen Bransford.
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Palmer LaRue is running out of birthdays. For as long as he can remember, he's dreaded the day he turns ten - the day he'll take his place beside all the other ten-year-old boys in town, the day he'll be a wringer. But Palmer doesn't want to be a wringer. It's one of the first things he learned about himself and it's one of the biggest things he has to hide. In Palmer's town being a wringer is an honor, a tradition passed down from father to son.
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Slow Reading
- By Erin on 12-13-10
By: Jerry Spinelli
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Haunted Waters
- Red Rock Mysteries, Book 1
- By: Jerry B. Jenkins, Chris Fabry
- Narrated by: Full Cast featuring Samantha Beach, Blain Hogan
- Length: 1 hr and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Watch out! The Timberline twins are on the loose. Bryce and Ashley are ATV-riding tweens from Colorado who unearth action-packed mystery and adventure wherever they go. With the trademark page-turner style used by Jenkins and Fabry, these fast-paced books will keep even reluctant readers on the edge of their seats.
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Awesome Action Adventure and Love Dramatized Story
- By Marlene Mesot Author of The Purging Fire and The Cat Stalker's Sonnets on 12-18-16
By: Jerry B. Jenkins, and others
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What's So Funny?
- My Hilarious Life
- By: Tim Conway, Jane Scovell, Carol Burnett - foreword
- Narrated by: Tim Conway, Carol Burnett, Dick Hill, and others
- Length: 8 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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Six-time Emmy Award-winning funnyman Tim Conway, best known for his characters on The Carol Burnett Show, offers a straight-shooting and hilarious memoir about his life on stage and off as an actor and comedian. In television history, few entertainers have captured as many hearts and made as many people laugh as Tim Conway. There's nothing in the world that Tim Conway would rather do than entertain - and in his first-ever memoir, What's So Funny?, that's exactly what he does.
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Not narrated by Tim
- By Bob Murdock on 05-05-14
By: Tim Conway, and others
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Escaping the Giant Wave
- By: Peg Kehret
- Narrated by: Terry Bregy
- Length: 2 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Thirteen-year-old Kyle thought spending a vacation on the Oregon coast with his family would be great. He'd never flown before, and he'd never seen the Pacific Ocean. But Kyle's vacation becomes a nightmare when he's babysitting his sister BeeBee and an earthquake hits. Can Kyle and BeeBee outwit and outrun nature's fury to save themselves from tsunami terror?
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Wrong Narrator
- By Lifeisshort on 09-16-14
By: Peg Kehret
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Chanel Bonfire
- By: Wendy Lawless
- Narrated by: Wendy Lawless
- Length: 6 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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By the time Wendy Lawless turned 17, she'd known for quite some time that she didn't have a normal mother. But that didn't stop her from wanting one.... Georgann Rea didn't bake cookies or go to PTA meetings; she wore a mink coat and always had a lit Dunhill plugged into her cigarette holder. She went through men like Kleenex, and didn't like dogs or children. Georgann had the ice queen beauty of a Hitchcock heroine and the cold heart to match.
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Not an Engaging Listen
- By Sobriquet on 03-13-13
By: Wendy Lawless
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Board Stiff
- An Elliot Lisbon Mystery
- By: Kendel Lynn
- Narrated by: Rachel Frawley
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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As director of the Ballantyne Foundation on Sea Pine Island, SC, Elliott Lisbon scratches her detective itch by performing discreet inquiries for Foundation donors. Usually nothing serious until Jane Hatting, Ballantyne board chair, is accused of murder. The Ballantyne's reputation tanks, Jane's headed to a jail cell, and Elliott's sexy ex is the new lieutenant in town. Armed with moxie and her Mini Coop, Elliott uncovers a trail of blackmail schemes, gambling debts, illicit affairs, and investment scams. But the closer she gets to the truth, the more treacherous her investigation.
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A strong start to a new cozy mystery series
- By Takeyabue on 02-15-14
By: Kendel Lynn
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The Mother-Daughter Book Club
- Mother-Daughter Book Club Series
- By: Heather Vogel Frederick
- Narrated by: Cris Dukehart, Amy Rubinate, Kate Rudd, and others
- Length: 6 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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The book club is about to get a makeover. Even if Megan would rather be at the mall, Cassidy is late for hockey practice, Emma's already read every book in existence, and Jess is missing her mother too much to care, the new book club is scheduled to meet every month. But what begins as a mom-imposed ritual of reading Little Women soon helps four unlikely friends navigate the drama of middle school.
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Computerized Reading - Aweful
- By elliott on 11-11-16
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Guys Read: Funny Business
- By: Jon Scieszka, Adam Rex, Christopher Curtis, and others
- Narrated by: Michael Boatman, Kate DiCamillo, John Keating, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Funny Business is based around the theme of - what else? - humor, and if you’re familiar with Jon and the Guys Read Library, you already know what you’re in store for: 10 hilarious stories from some of the funniest writers around. Before you’re through, you’ll meet a teenage mummy; a kid desperate to take a dip in the world’s largest pool of chocolate milk; a homicidal turkey; parents who hand over their son’s room to a biker; and more.
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Awesome super funny
- By sacha on 10-03-16
By: Jon Scieszka, and others
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Making Spirits Bright
- By: Fern Michaels, Elizabeth Bass, Rosalind Noonan, and others
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 12 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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Melanie McLaughlin desperately wants to adopt two orphaned siblings and give them a real home for Christmas. A just-for-the-holiday marriage to Bryce Landry fits her plan perfectly...until unexpected sparks have Melanie dreaming of forever by his side....
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So so book
- By John on 08-25-22
By: Fern Michaels, and others
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Mistletoe Murder
- A Lucy Stone Mystery, Book 1
- By: Leslie Meier
- Narrated by: Karen White
- Length: 6 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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As if baking holiday cookies, knitting a sweater for her husband, and making her daughter’s angel costume for the church pageant weren’t enough things for Lucy Stone’s busy Christmas schedule, she’s also working nights at the famous mail-order company Country Cousins. But when she discovers Sam Miller, its very wealthy founder, dead in his car from an apparent suicide, the sleuth in her knows something just doesn’t smell right.
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5 stars
- By Beatrice on 12-21-20
By: Leslie Meier
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A Dog's Life
- The Autobiography of a Stray
- By: Ann M. Martin
- Narrated by: Wendy Dillon
- Length: 3 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Squirrel is not like most dogs. Born a stray, she must make her own way in the world, facing busy highways, changing seasons, and humans both gentle and brutal. Her life story, in her own words, is marked by loss, but also by an inspiring instinct to survive. And when it seems she will roam the woods and country roads alone forever, Squirrel makes two friends who, in very different ways, define her fate.At once heartrending and hopeful, Ann Martin’s exquisite story of a dog’s life is told with her trademark grace and insight.
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wonderful book
- By Jcsmitz1 on 06-04-07
By: Ann M. Martin
What listeners say about Swine Not?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- MJCLAXDEN
- 02-09-22
A very enjoyable distraction
The book was better than I assumed it would be. Some artists have a particular talent just in one avenue of entertainment. I wasn't sure what to expect from a prose offering from Jimmy Buffett.
The story was creative and entertaining, however, the storytelling perspective jumping between Rumpy (the pig) and the young boy got very confusing. The shifting sometimes started getting to the point of annoyance.
It was particularly tough because I used the audio book while taking my dog for a walk so my full attention was not engaged in the book.
Overall though I really enjoyed it; and it was nice light-hearted distraction from my normally heavier reading fare.
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- Roseclan
- 07-12-20
Okay Story
Not a bad story. it had some funny moments, but I guess I was hoping for something kind of like his music. He warns us about this in the opening. It is my first Jimmy Buffett book. I am a loyal fan of his music, and I wanted to hear his stories too. Overall, it was clean humor, and will appeal to children. I plan to check out his other books, just because he is Jimmy Buffett!
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- Wayne
- 03-04-16
Cute story, good for teens and pre teens
If you could sum up Swine Not? in three words, what would they be?
I buy everything that Jimmy writes but this is a huge departure from his other fiction. As he calles it Boats, Beaches, Bars and Ballads. Swinenot is a fantasy, featuring a pot bellied pig that is smarter than most people. That being said, its a cute read and would be fun for pre-teen boys or girls.
What was the most interesting aspect of this story? The least interesting?
The narrator is animated and engaging. The story line just gets a little too fansastic.
Have you listened to any of L. J. Ganser and Jimmy Buffett ’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
I have. A Salty Piece of Land. Much different. Love Jimmys books.
Who was the most memorable character of Swine Not? and why?
Barley and also Rumpy
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Overall
- Freddie
- 09-30-09
You don't like it? Swine Not?
Admittedly this is an exercise in literary style for Mr. Buffet it is style funny and fun. How can you seriously expect a great literary work from the man that brought you Barefoot Children and The Night I Painted the Sky? This was a relaxing read on an airplane and it’s going be a relaxing listen at the office. I don’t want great works of dramatic prose like Steinbeck or Hemmingway when I download Buffet, I want Margaritaville. He delivers at a level for Children and adults :P
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6 people found this helpful
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- Katy Oliverson
- 09-09-23
Meh. not up to my JB standards.
I've enjoyed most everything JB has written or sung the past 40 years. it was a struggle to get thru this 4 hour audiobook. the story was not at all captivating as his other works have been. I have given 3 stars for his narration but even that felt contrived at times. I should have cut my losses and returned the book, but I kept hoping it would get better.
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Overall
- Amazon Customer
- 08-08-08
Not soo much
I love Jimmy buffet. I liked most of his books - audio and otherwise. This one is ridiculous. Might be good for kids - not really sure.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Thumper Johnson
- 04-12-17
Story is inane.
Jimmy has written better books before. This one's pretty juvenile, but maybe that was the. concept.
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- Kz
- 03-23-09
Pass on this book
Pass on this latest entry from a very gifted writer. However, this would probably be a good read for anyone 12 years and younger.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Adam Hunt
- 09-12-23
Not my favorite
Wasn’t really a fan of this. It’s a little silly and I struggled with it.
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- Mitch Guidry
- 02-22-20
Poor performance of a silly story
The headline really does sum it all up. I’m a big Buffett fan and absolute loved A Salty Piece of Land but I just couldn’t listen to this anymore. Sent the book back for credit/exchange.
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