The Astonishing Color of After
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Narrated by:
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Stephanie Hsu
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By:
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Emily X.R. Pan
About this listen
A stunning, heartbreaking debut novel about grief, love, and family, perfect for fans of Jandy Nelson and Celeste Ng.
Leigh Chen Sanders is absolutely certain about one thing: When her mother died by suicide, she turned into a bird.
Leigh, who is half Asian and half white, travels to Taiwan to meet her maternal grandparents for the first time. There, she is determined to find her mother, the bird. In her search, she winds up chasing after ghosts, uncovering family secrets, and forging a new relationship with her grandparents. And as she grieves, she must try to reconcile the fact that on the same day she kissed her best friend and longtime secret crush, Axel, her mother was taking her own life.
Alternating between real and magic, past and present, friendship and romance, hope and despair, The Astonishing Color of After is a stunning and heartbreaking novel about finding oneself through family history, art, grief, and love.
"Emily X.R. Pan's brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book."—John Green, bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down
PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.
©2018 Emily X.R. Pan (P)2018 Hachette AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
A New York Times bestseller
An IndieBound bestseller
Bustle Best of YA Books of 2018
A Paste Magazine Best Young Adult Novel of 2018
Winner of the Walter Honor Award
Winner of the APALA Honor Award
"Emily X.R. Pan's brilliantly crafted, harrowing first novel portrays the vast spectrum of love and grief with heart-wrenching beauty and candor. This is a very special book."—John Green, bestselling author of The Fault in Our Stars and Turtles All the Way Down
"Magic and mourning, love and loss, secrets kept and secrets revealed all illuminate Emily X.R. Pan's inventive and heart-wrenching debut."—Gayle Forman, bestselling author of If I Stay and I Was Here
"Emily X.R. Pan utterly transported me to a world reminiscent of Isabel Allende. Haunting at every turn, this is a glorious debut."—Renée Ahdieh, bestselling author of The Wrath and the Dawn
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Finn looks and acts human, though he has no desire to be. He was programmed to assist his owners, and performs his duties to perfection. A billion-dollar construct, his primary task now is to tutor Cat. As she grows into a beautiful young woman, Finn is her guardian, her constant companion…and more. But when the government grants rights to the ever-increasing robot population, however, Finn struggles to find his place in the world, and in Cat’s heart.
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An Exquisite Tale of Transforming Love
- By JTF on 04-18-14
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The Beach Trees
- By: Karen White
- Narrated by: Ki Gottberg, Gin Hammond
- Length: 15 hrs and 6 mins
- Abridged
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For Julie Holt, travelling to the beautiful but ravaged coast of Biloxi, Mississippi, is a journey into a secret past, and a life she never expected.... Julie first knew loss at the age of 12, when her sister disappeared, never to be found. As her once close-knit family grew apart, Julie's mother obsessively searched for the girl, and when her mother died, Julie took up the search, never letting go of the hope. Then, at an art exhibition in New York, she meets Monica....
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The ending was very weak
- By Missi Boyd on 10-31-16
By: Karen White
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Shade
- By: Jeri Smith-Ready
- Narrated by: Khristine Hvam
- Length: 8 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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When her boyfriend dies a most untimely death, Aura--who can see ghosts--is forced to reconsider her relationship with the living and dead in Shade.
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Not the same old paranormal romance
- By Alexis on 01-28-12
By: Jeri Smith-Ready
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The Last to Let Go
- By: Amber Smith
- Narrated by: Stephanie Einstein
- Length: 10 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
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How do you let go of something you've never had? Junior year for Brooke Winters is supposed to be about change. She's transferring schools, starting fresh, and making plans for college so she can finally leave her hometown, her family, and her past behind. But all of her dreams are shattered one hot summer afternoon when her mother is arrested for killing Brooke's abusive father. No one really knows what happened that day, if it was premeditated or self-defense, whether it was right or wrong. And now Brooke and her siblings are on their own.
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It's slow
- By Autumn S. on 09-05-18
By: Amber Smith
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Shiver (Shiver, Book 1)
- By: Maggie Stiefvater
- Narrated by: David Ledoux, Jenna Lamia
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Every summer Sam spends a few precious months being human, until the cold causes him to shift to a wolf once again. Discover what happens when he meets Grace in this chilling romance.
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Inventive Wolf YA Drama
- By FanB14 on 05-24-12
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The Witches of Echo Park
- By: Amber Benson
- Narrated by: Amber Benson
- Length: 9 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Unbeknownst to most of humankind, a powerful network of witches thrives within the shadows of society, using their magic to keep the world in balance. But they are being eliminated - and we will all pay if their power falls... When Elyse MacAllister's great-aunt Eleanora, the woman who raised her, becomes deathly ill, Lyse puts her comfortable life in Georgia on hold to rush back to Los Angeles. And once she returns to Echo Park, Lyse discovers her great-aunt has been keeping secrets.
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Why,,,, is there only one!
- By SV on 11-05-19
By: Amber Benson
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The Wishing Thread
- By: Lisa Van Allen
- Narrated by: Amy Rubinate
- Length: 11 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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The Van Ripper women have been the talk of Tarrytown, New York, for centuries. Some say they're angels; some say they're crooks. In their tumbledown "Stitchery", not far from the stomping grounds of the legendary Headless Horseman, the Van Ripper sisters - Aubrey, Bitty, and Meggie - are said to knit people's most ardent wishes into beautiful scarves and mittens, granting them health, success, or even a blossoming romance. But for the magic to work, sacrifices must be made - and no one knows that better than the Van Rippers.
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Wonderful
- By Angela on 02-22-15
By: Lisa Van Allen
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The Arsonist
- By: Stephanie Oakes
- Narrated by: Fajer Al-Kaisi, Morgan Hallett, Rachel Botchan
- Length: 13 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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In this offering from Morris Award finalist Stephanie Oakes, three riveting points of view are woven together in a story that's part historical mystery, part contemporary coming-of-age, and completely unputdownable. When Molly gets a package leading her to Pepper, they're tasked with solving a decades-old mystery: find out who killed Ava back in 1989. Using Ava's diary for clues, Molly and Pepper realize there's more to her life - and death - than meets the eye. Someone is lying to them. And someone out there is guiding them along, desperate for answers.
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Thrilling with wonderful characters
- By Emily Schneider on 11-29-20
By: Stephanie Oakes
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Wonders of the Invisible World
- By: Christopher Barzak
- Narrated by: Michael Crouch
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Seventeen-year-old Aidan Lockwood lives in the sleepy farming community of Temperance, Ohio - known for its cattle ranches and not much else. That is, until Jarrod, a friend he hasn't seen in five years, moves back to town and opens Aidan's eyes in startling ways: to Aidan's ability to see the spirit world; to the red-bearded specter of Death; to a family curse that has claimed the lives of the Lockwood men one by one...and to the new feelings he has developed for Jarrod.
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Sugar coating of L.G.B.T. sprinkles, of all things
- By Eli on 01-19-16
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Dark Room Etiquette
- By: Robin Roe
- Narrated by: Andrew J. Andersen
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Sixteen-year-old Sayers Wayte has everything. Popularity, good looks, perfect grades—there's nothing Sayers' family money can't buy. Until he's kidnapped by a man who tells him the privileged life he's been living is based on a lie. Trapped in a windowless room, without knowing why he's been taken or how long the man plans to keep him shut away, Sayers faces a terrifying new reality. To survive, he must forget the world he once knew, and play the part his abductor has created for him.
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Absolutely brilliant
- By Shelley on 01-20-23
By: Robin Roe
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The Vault of Dreamers
- Vault of Dreamers Series # 1
- By: Caragh M. O'Brien
- Narrated by: Emily Woo Zeller
- Length: 10 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Story
The Forge School is the most prestigious arts school in the country. The secret to its success: every moment of the students' lives is televised as part of the insanely popular Forge Show, and the students' schedule includes twelve hours of induced sleep meant to enhance creativity. But when first-year student Rosie Sinclair skips her sleeping pill, she discovers there is something off about Forge. In fact, she suspects that there are sinister things going on deep below the reaches of the cameras in the school.
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Interesting premise best suited for YA readers
- By Linda J on 02-23-15
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Anna Dressed in Blood
- By: Kendare Blake
- Narrated by: August Ross
- Length: 8 hrs and 43 mins
- Unabridged
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Cas Lowood has inherited an unusual vocation: He kills the dead. So did his father before him, until he was gruesomely murdered by a ghost he sought to kill. Now armed with his father's mysterious and deadly atheme, Cas travels the country with his kitchen-witch mother and their spirit-sniffing cat. They follow legends and local lore, destroy the murderous dead, and keep pesky things like the future and friends at bay. Searching for a ghost the locals call Anna Dressed in Blood, Cas expects the usual: track, hunt, kill. What he finds instead is a girl entangled in curses and rage.
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Great story for YA readers but ...
- By B. Edwards on 11-12-14
By: Kendare Blake
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The Lost Girls
- A Novel
- By: Heather Young
- Narrated by: Alice Rosengard, Laurel Schroeder
- Length: 12 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
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In 1935, six-year-old Emily Evans vanishes from her family's vacation home on a remote Minnesota lake. Her disappearance destroys the family - her father commits suicide, and her mother and two older sisters spend the rest of their lives at the lake house, keeping a decades-long vigil for the lost child. Sixty years later, Lucy, the quiet and watchful middle sister, lives in the lake house alone. Before her death, she writes the story of that devastating summer in a notebook that she leaves, along with the house, to the only person who might care: her grandniece, Justine.
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Engaging story spanning three generations.
- By LilMissMolly on 09-23-16
By: Heather Young
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Black & White
- By: Dani Shapiro
- Narrated by: Marguerite Gavin
- Length: 8 hrs and 34 mins
- Unabridged
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Clara Brodeur has spent her entire adult life pulling herself away from her famous mother, the renowned and controversial photographer Ruth Dunne, whose towering reputation rests on the unsettling nude portraits she took of her young daughter from the ages of three to 14. As Clara charts a path connecting her childhood with her adult life, Shapiro's novel weaves together past and present in images as stark and intense as the photographs that tore the Dunnes apart.
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It was okay
- By Lucy7 on 02-13-19
By: Dani Shapiro
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FOR LATINAS WHO ARE OFTEN TOLD THEY "SOUND WHITE"
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What listeners say about The Astonishing Color of After
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Danni Valentine
- 01-24-19
soo amazing
I loved this book it was as oddly relatable to my life I loved when the 2 bestfriends in the end confessed the love for eachother that grown wildly over time. this book is a book to remember and defenitly gonna read it again.
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- Kristin L. Nisonger
- 05-10-19
OMG
This book was fantastic. Stephanie Hsu was a fantastic narrator, and she conveyed proper emotion when needed. The plot of the book was well written and the loose ends tied up seamlessly. There were so many plot twists and I was never bored. The focus on oriental beliefs was a plus, as I am always eager to learn. Team Axel+Lee forever!!!!
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2 people found this helpful
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- Katherine
- 06-20-20
Just not for me
This is a wonderful, beautiful story where the telling just wasn’t my cup of tea. I think if it was significantly shorter, I would have enjoyed it more but the search in the middle was very very drawn out.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Crystal Strickland
- 10-05-21
Astonishing
This story of finding peace and love after loss was amazing. It struck me how much my find visualized the events as they took place.
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- Lashawn
- 04-22-19
Impeccable writing, slow build
While the story itself seemed to move along rather slowly, the writing was outstanding and the ending was worth the read.
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2 people found this helpful
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- brittany
- 07-06-23
color & ghosts
creative in its sadness , loved this book full of color and ghosts. the narrator did a great job also!
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- Team_Feider
- 07-19-24
Can this narrator please narrate more dramas?!
Good story. Best part was Stephanie Hsu's narration. She could make any story come alive and hook you.
I wish she would narrate more for audible. Worth listening.
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- Nicole Arnold
- 09-11-19
Uhhhh my heart
I did not expect from the beginning to get out of this book what I did. It was a remarkable expression of emotion that left you wondering, crying and hopeful through out. Incredibly impressed, definitely recommend... I have never read a book quite like this one.
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2 people found this helpful
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- bwthrosx
- 05-25-18
well written imaginative story
The story is interesting and well written. The author's description of feelings and actions is exceptional. I would suggest reading it a couple chapters at a time so you can digest the plot.
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1 person found this helpful
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- D. D. R.
- 06-05-23
A story about grief and acceptance
We could see a side of depression in one of the family members pov and saw how it affected them. How Leigh at her young age thought that she had the duty of taking care of her mom. We could see how realistic and painful it is for family members fight against depression.
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