The Croning Audiobook By Laird Barron cover art

The Croning

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The Croning

By: Laird Barron
Narrated by: Emily Zeller
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About this listen

Strange things exist on the periphery of our existence, haunting us from the darkness looming beyond our firelight. Black magic, weird cults, and worse things loom in the shadows. The Children of Old Leech have been with us from time immemorial. And they love us....

Donald Miller, geologist and academic, has walked along the edge of a chasm for most of his nearly 80 years, leading a charmed life between endearing absent-mindedness and sanity-shattering realization. Now, all things must converge. Donald will discover the dark secrets along the edges, unearthing savage truths about his wife Michelle, their adult twins, and all he knows and trusts. For Donald is about to stumble on the secret... of The Croning.

From Laird Barron, Shirley Jackson Award-winning author of The Imago Sequence and Occultation, comes The Croning, a debut novel of cosmic horror.

©2012 Laird Barron (P)2012 Audible, Inc.
Contemporary Fantasy Fiction Horror Paranormal & Urban Scary
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Editorial reviews

Laird Barron's debut novel plays to his strengths as a short story writer by fragmenting the chapters with a mind suffering from senile dementia. Flashbacks and forgetfulness build character of Don, a doomed man walking the edge of cosmic horror that the listener alone perceives, like a killer waiting in a closet.

The delicate-voiced Emily Zeller highlights how expertly and carefully Barron chooses his words, and also allows The Croning's horror to sneak up and stab the listener when it unexpectedly rears its hideous head. The quiet, exacting sweetness of Zeller's performance offsets the coldness of Barron's universe, its indifference to human suffering, and the sureness of its ultimate victory.

Critic reviews

"It’s a rare year in which a superabundance of fine horror novels — novels that reward rereading — appears. That said, most years bring at least a handful of novels whose titles can stand to be mentioned alongside Matheson’s I Am Legend, Jackson’s The Haunting of Hill House, and King’s The Shining. To this year’s list, add Laird Barron’s The Croning." ( Los Angeles Review of Books)

What listeners say about The Croning

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    1 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Great Writer - Good story - VERY Wrong Reader,

Is there anything you would change about this book?

YES! The narrator! Laird Barron writes Horror Noir - a dark & scary cross of Mikey Spillane & H. P. Lovecraft. He is bound for not just being good, but being GREAT. He writes from a first person view of gritty tough-guys that have stepped right out of a violent 1940's crime pulp novel. His characters gruffly talk about their cocks, and middle age, and death, and killing, and horror. Audible, for some strange reason, chose the very beautiful, young, very feminine voice of "Emily Zeller" to read you this story. This story: of a tough old man facing cosmic inhuman mind-bending vile evil.
It's like picking "Hanna Montanna" to sing KISS's "Destroyer" album. It's as wrong as "The Captain and Tennille" singing Judas Priest's "Sad Wings of Destiny" Album, or Metalica's "Black" album. Julie Andrews should NOT sing Rob Zombie's "Hellbilly Deluxe"!
Ya' gettin' me here?
It just don't work!
The greatest reader of H. P. Lovecraft work is "Wayne June". His voice is deep, rough, and sounds like he's had a life of first hand experience of... evil things, he's walked to the edge of the pit, looked in, and made it back.
Do you want to hear Laird Barron and a correct narrator? I urge you now to go to "Tales To Terrify" (the pod cast) and listen to episode # 40. Listen to "Frontier Death Song" by Laird Barron and read by "David Robison". David has a whiskey and smokes rough voice that turns Laird's tough, noir, words into cryptic-dark-spine-freezing passages punched out of the Necronomicon by way of a 40's detective radio show wearing brass knucles. Awesome.
Don't get me wrong, Emily Zeller is a fine reader.
I want Emily Zeller to read me "The Hobbit".
Or "Lord of the Rings". Something with Elves in it.
What I DON'T want is Emily Zelle, who sounds like my cute 20 year old niece, telling me about HER dick "shooting blanks"... I don't even want to think about her thinking about things like that, let alone trying her best to sound "tough" and "mean" and middle aged, and well, male.
OK, maybe a woman could have narrated this book. However, she needs to sound like she could eat bullets and spit nails. She needs "the chops" to do it - she needs the sound in her voice of a life of hard drinking, smoking, heart breaking, and ass-kicking.
Audible - you forgot the golden first rule on this one!!!
RULE #1.) You need to know the book, and you need to know the narrator and "IF" they will work together. This is maybe one of the worst choices of reader for this novel. We needed "Mickey Rourke" , instead we got "Annette Funicello"!

What did you like best about this story?

Laird Barron is a good talent, becoming GREAT!

How could the performance have been better?

You needed "David Robison", or "Wayne June" to read this, NOT "Emily Zeller".

If this book were a movie would you go see it?

Yes.

Any additional comments?

Please know the material and put it together with the right reader! This is a good/ maybe great horror noir book, but it's hard to tell because the narration is done by the wrong person.

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67 people found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Barron is an elegantly raw weird fiction heir

Eccellent, imaginative and ticklingly dark. While his short stories may be better suited to to genre in general, this one really got to me.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Perhaps laird barrons best book

I don’t often write reviews but the way this novel folds in on itself is wonderful. Humorous and spooky at the same time, I enjoyed the entire thing. The narrator was good, I don’t understand why everyone is so down on her?

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Good but

I initially liked the narrator. She does great with the unique voices and energy. Then there's the bland description tone with the mumbling. If your not doing anything then go for it. If you listen to books while working this isn't gonna be a great choice.

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

Awesome

It was awesome. Fun, dark, and grandiose.
Little slow in the middle, however. Overall, a great novel, and an excellent performance.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    2 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Standard Barron Fun

For those just jumping in: you should read the following two short stories prior
1. The Men from Porlock
2. Mysterium Tremendum

Then this novel will be much more interesting.

A note about the narrator:
Emily Zeller is obviously a professional. But she is not the right choice for this novel. Dont let that fool you though, it’s a fun read!

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  • Overall
    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars
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    4 out of 5 stars

After two false starts, I'm glad I finished it

I've read most of Barron's horror, and while this book came recommended by someone I trusted, I tried listening to this book twice and returned it twice. I really couldn't get into the reader, although Emily Zeller Woo has been a good reader on other books I liked. Then, it became free with premium, and I resolved to stick with it. I'm glad I did. Let's get the standout point of contention (of most fellow reviewers) out of the way: the reader.

I really didn't like the choice of a female reader for this story or how she read the narration at first, and honestly that had a lot to do with why I quit this book twice before. As the story progressed, as weird as it seemed to have a soft spoken sing-song female reader for a book told from the eyes of a man, involving so many male characters, the context of the story began to make it fit. That, and while I'm easily irritated by female readers trying too hard to do 'manly' voices (vice versa for male readers doing exaggerated female voices), Woo is actually good at character voices and doesn't overdo it on the male voices—that sweet spot of 'I can tell this is a man speaking' and 'doesn't sound goofy or overbearing'. Your mileage may vary on that point, but my tolerance is pretty low, so I would say if that's a pet peeve for you too, don't worry. My biggest complaint is that Woo pronounces several words completely wrong. I don't judge people in their daily lives for not knowing how to pronounce words they usually only read, but if you are some who reads books out loud professionally, I think you should familiarize yourself with a broad range of vocabulary and it's pronounciations—words like piteous, as an example from early in the book.

As for the book itself, I think it contains instances of Barron's strongest work as well instances of his worst tendencies. The Men from Porlock is my favorite work by Barron, a pretty much flawless story to my mind, and this book actually directly connects to it. The best parts of the book are the psychological and cosmic horror elements, as well as the grotesque imagery. Where it suffers is when Barron tries to write about the mundane aspects of life to fill in the plot and flesh out the characters, because it often reads like a cheesy pulp novella or just comes across as absurd—one character, an average modern middle aged guy, suddenly starts speaking like a horror novelist reciting from his final draft while recounting an old memory. I've seen this issue with Barron's shorter works before. I don't think that trying to convey the mundane aspects of life were a mistake; on the contrary, it makes the cosmic horror hit harder. Barron just struggles to do it properly, which results in a strange tone clash that doesn't do the book any favors and I think makes some parts of the book drag. However, once it got going in earnest, 6 1/2 hours left became 1 hour left before I knew it, and then the book was over, and I was glad I came back for that charmed third try.

If you liked Men from Porlock or Barron's other similar stories, I do suggest giving this a shot, and if you are put off by the reader or the first couple of chapters that take place in the modern era, stick with it. There is some really good stuff here, and I think the amount of enjoyable content outweighs the number of meh moments.

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  • Overall
    3 out of 5 stars
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    3 out of 5 stars
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    2 out of 5 stars

Scary?

I listened to the first three stories. Every story begins boring and concludes… scary? The dialogue between characters isn’t capturing. I just came from a Cormac Mcarthy novel, so many I’m being overly critical in expecting a more literary experience. The stairs arcs aren’t anything new or exceptional. The moment when something finally happens and it begins to get spooky, it quickly wraps up. It reads like a middle school book—then I remembered the awkward swearing. I may listen to more as I’ve spent the credit.

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1 person found this helpful

  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
  • Performance
    1 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

fantastic book, terrible narrator

She mispronounces words and puts emphasis on the wrong syllable too often. It takes you out of an otherwise great book.

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  • Overall
    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars
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    5 out of 5 stars

Fantastic!

Excellent narration, and truly unique way of structuring a horrifying tale. Will recommend this to anyone who enjoys tales of the grim dark.

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