The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning Audiobook By Hallgrimur Helgason cover art

The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

 Preview
LIMITED TIME OFFER

3 months free
Try for $0.00
Offer ends July 31, 2025 at 11:59PM PT.
Pick 1 audiobook a month from our unmatched collection.
Listen all you want to thousands of included audiobooks, Originals, and podcasts.
Access exclusive sales and deals.
Premium Plus auto-renews for $14.95/mo after 3 months. Cancel anytime.

The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning

By: Hallgrimur Helgason
Narrated by: Luke Daniels
Try for $0.00

$0.00/mo. after 3 months. Offer ends July 31, 2025 at 11:59PM PT. Cancel anytime.

Buy for $20.00

Buy for $20.00

Confirm purchase
Pay using card ending in
Switch payment method
By confirming your purchase, you agree to Audible's Conditions of Use, License, and Amazon's Privacy Notice. Taxes where applicable.
Cancel

With some 66 hits under his belt, Tomislav Bokšic, or Toxic, has a flawless record as hitman for the Croatian mafia in New York. That is, until he kills the wrong guy and is forced to flee the States, leaving behind the life he knows and loves. Suddenly, he finds himself on a plane hurtling toward Reykjavik disguised as American televangelist Father Friendly. With no means of escape from this island devoid of gun shops, this country with absolutely no tradition for contract killing, he is forced to come to terms with his bloody past and reevaluate his future, to tragicomic effect. Toxic paints Iceland as an icy netherworld where in spite of peaceful appearances danger lurks - in the guise of terrifying romantic overtures with tough-girl Gunholder, fear of being caught in his blasphemous deception, and the threat of punishment at the hands of Thordur... whose name seems to be pronounced “Torture.”

©2012 Hallgrimur Helgason (P)2012 Brilliance Audio, Inc. Crime Fiction Noir Thriller & Suspense Assassin Fiction Mystery Crime Exciting Witty Suspense

Critic reviews

"A sensational book. Hallgrimur Helgason's brain is like this amazing app that morphs the English language into gorgeously blunt new forms. It delivers surprise after surprise and makes you feel good about books again. I can't recommend it enough." (Douglas Coupland, author of Generation X)
"If you read this I predict [Helgason]’ll be in your mind to stay.” (DBC Pierre, Man Booker Prize-winning author of Vernon God Little)
“[Helgason is] uproarious, sharp, and outrageously funny.” ( Kirkus Reviews)
All stars
Most relevant  
It's a long time since I have laughed this much - while listening to a grotesque tour de force of a Serbian Hitman's history. It fils you with a bizarre taste for redemption biographies.

Brilliant & Fun

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Tomislav Bok??i??, also known as "Toxic" is a hitman with a heart. He works for the mafia in New York and killed the wrong man so needs to do the LPP (Lowest Profile Possible) for awhile. Toxic goes overseas acting as a different person.

It is here where the story really begins. Half the story is Toxic's new life abroad and the other half is his telling stories about how Tomislav Bok??i?? became Toxic. The stories are funny and heartfelt but as you get through the book you will find the amusing anecdotes to start pulling at your heart strings.

This book is both funny and difficult to get through at the same time. I found myself caring more and more for this sorry guy just as some characters in the book did.

The whole "Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning" marketing bit is off a single line in the book that really has nothing to do with the overall story line but it is one of the funnier moments in the book.

Enjoy this engaging and unique book but be prepared to focus your listening since Luke Daniels puts on a heavy accent for the character.

-Bill

A Unique and Engaging Hitman Comedy

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I enjoyed every minute of the book. more more more more more more more more

laugh out loud funny

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.

Where does The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning rank among all the audiobooks you’ve listened to so far?

Good pace, character building and the story is entertaining

What other book might you compare The Hitman's Guide to Housecleaning to and why?

I cannot think of any other book to compare this to, as it is the first of this genre that I have listened to.

Have you listened to any of Luke Daniels’s other performances before? How does this one compare?

Luke Daniels is an excellent narrator. His Slavic and Icelandic accents are quite good and made the story more entertaining.

Entertaining and Fun

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Wow, that was not at all like I though it would be. Funny moments, but written in a story with a main character that is both an over the top caricature and a brutally real a**hole. I found the main character's accent very distracting - so heavy that it drags - and this could have interfered with my ability to bond with him. The other characters had excellent narration, and some of these people could have been very interesting and funny, but there were so many missed opportunities to give them more depth.

In the end, this was the story of the almost redemption of a hitman. Like the main character, the story just falls short in the end. The hitman is deep but unlikeable, the likeable characters shallow. It's too harsh to be light, and too funny to be bleak.

I've thought about the book since I finished it, talked about it with several other people, it was well written, not at all a throw away mystery or a nordic copycat. I just didn't enjoy it.

An un-redemption story

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
I read alot 200 Audible books under my belt thus far. This was one of my all time favorite book's now. I'm going to recommend this to my dad. sex, guns, unexpectedly religion. thank you for writing this book

outstanding performance

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Out of nowhere a Cruasian professional killer becomes an american evangelist in iceland, and thats just the beginning Luke Daniels is wonderful Well worth a credit!

funny journey

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Unless you get annoyed with the Croatian accent this book is a laugh riot. It is without a serious plot, it just the narrative and style which is funny. A hit man escapes and takes an identity of priest in Iceland. But the events, goof ups, the characters and the wise cracks made the book worth listening to. I was laughing aloud at some instance. I do not think this book would have been as funny if it was read without the accent. It is a short book. Worth for a relaxed trip!

Check out the sample before you download, there is a thick eastern European accent at may not be something you can decipher.

Laugh and Smile through the book!

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
the Croatian was really bad the pronunciation was horrible ah so horrible. the way it made fun of the horrible war even more so.

How much can one hate Serbians and be horny

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
Made a really serious topic into a story funny and entertaining enough to listen to for hours on end. The performance by the reader with all the different accents and characters was phenomenal!

Quite entertaining

Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
See more reviews