
The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football
The NFL's Greatest Players, Plays, Scandals, and Screw-Ups (Plus Stuff We Totally Made Up)
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Narrated by:
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Dan Patrick
Celebrated sports commentator Dan Patrick and comedy writer Joel H. Cohen team up with some of America’s greatest* comedy writers to tell you everything and nothing about America’s sport!**
*“greatest” is actually just a bad type-o for “mediocre”
**No, not darts, we mean pro football. (book on professional darts coming never)
Did you know . . .
Tom Brady is a very good quarterback. (True, but only according to statistics and accomplishments.)
The formation of the NFL took place in an auto dealership. The founders started an institution and also were convinced to buy rust-proofing for it. (Half true.)
The Carolina Panthers originated as a book club but turned to football when they couldn’t agree on which John Grisham novel to read. (Maybe true. Research isn’t our thing.)
The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football is a love letter to America’s favorite game, full of highlights, history, great plays and players, scandals, Super Bowls, and a series of lies, idiotic theories, baseless conspiracies, a diet that may kill you and, of course, a poorly-written haiku. The book takes the credibility Dan Patrick has built up over a stellar broadcast career (ESPN, NBC Sports, something called “Peacock”) and risks it all with these falsehoods, half-truths, and even some quarter-truths.
This parade of inanity is co-written by Joel H. Cohen (3 Emmys, several cavities due to poor flossing) and includes contributions from certifiably hilarious people, such as:
Andy Richter (Late Night with Conan O’Brien)
Brian Kelley (The Simpsons, Saturday Night Live)
Chuck Tatham (Modern Family, Arrested Development, How I Met Your Mother)
Mike Price (The Simpsons, F is for Family)
Donick Cary (Silicon Valley, New Girl)
Christine Nangle (Inside Amy Schumer, Saturday Night Live)
Broti Gupta (The New Yorker, The New York Times, The Simpsons)
Rob Cohen (Saturday Night Live, Big Bang Theory)
The Occasionally Accurate Annals of Football informs (a little), entertains (a lot), and is the perfect gift to taunt the Jets fans in your life.
©2023 Dan Patrick and Joel H. Cohen (P)2023 Recorded BooksListeners also enjoyed...




















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Best Narrator Ever
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DP crushes it
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Dan Patrick
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Dan Patrick’s Voice - Iconic
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Bo in Alabama. 6’1, 180. Hilarious satire and factual at the same time!
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I would’ve said this is a waste except so many parts I recognize allow me to connect with my son on football history. It’s at a tone he will listen to - enough so that I bought the book afterwards (hoping he will read it first).
Glad I bought on sale
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