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Those Eyes: A Metaphysical Comedy
- Narrated by: David S. Dear
- Length: 5 hrs and 29 mins
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Publisher's summary
Reincarnation. It ain't for dummies.
"This audiobook made me glad I never fell in love” -Lonely man on balcony
Ronnie and Helen. Two teenagers in love with marriage on the horizon. Till an accident cuts his life short.
The Archangels make sure his soul gets into a new body.
But they screw up.
Seriously. Ronnie can't catch a break.
Those Eyes is a surrealist romantic comedy originally penned by a group of Benedictine monks in a trailer at a maple syrup protest rally. The manuscript went through several revisions, and even one book burning demonstration, and is now nothing like the original text. It has been translated into one language: This one. It’s packed with extra comedy, a whole lot of love, a splash of the ghastly, and more than a touch of the bizarre.
Give it a listen and discover just how weird love can be.
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Blue Collar Comedy star Bill Engvall is just a guy. He's been one his whole life. He can't help it; he was born that way. And that makes him an expert on the subject. For the record, here's the official definition of a guy: a person who doesn't think before he speaks. He can't. He's not that deep. Because a guy has only three basic needs: eating, sleeping, and sex. That's it. Just a Guy chronicles a lifetime in pursuit of those needs.
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The Man Behind The Signs
- By Christopher on 12-07-07
By: Bill Engvall, and others
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Finding Amos
- By: J. D. Mason, ReShonda Tate Billingsley, Bernice L. McFadden
- Narrated by: Kevin Free
- Length: 7 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
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Three daughters, connected only through their relationship to Amos, a now elderly ex-musician struggling with Alzheimer's disease, find their lives intertwining as a car accident reunites them at Amos' bedside - bringing some long-buried issues to light.
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Soulful
- By D. Stokes on 11-11-15
By: J. D. Mason, and others
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If It Ain’t One Thing
- By: Cheryl Robinson
- Narrated by: Karen Chilton
- Length: 12 hrs and 16 mins
- Unabridged
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Cheryl Robinson, a bright voice in African-American fiction, delivers a fresh tale of love in the modern world. Porter is a handsome Detroit firefighter who just got burned by his cheating girlfriend. Winona is a single mom who is getting by despite an old secret that haunts her. When Porter and Winona meet, they must face their pasts to allow their present romance to grow.
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Good listen
- By Brad on 06-29-10
By: Cheryl Robinson
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True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness
- A Feminist Coming of Age
- By: Christine Lahti
- Narrated by: Christine Lahti
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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For decades, actress and director Christine Lahti has captivated the hearts and minds of her audience through iconic roles in Chicago Hope, Running on Empty, Housekeeping, And Justice for All, Swing Shift, Law & Order: Special Victims Unit, God of Carnage, and The Blacklist. Now, in True Stories from an Unreliable Eyewitness, this acclaimed performer channels her creativity inward to share her own story for the first time.
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Christine Lahti, Actress, Activist and A+ Author!
- By L. Cat Schultz on 10-26-18
By: Christine Lahti
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Lifted by the Great Nothing
- By: Karim Dimechkie
- Narrated by: Neil Shah
- Length: 8 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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Max doesn't remember his mother, who was murdered by burglars before they emigrated from Beirut to New Jersey. He lives with his father, Rasheed, who is enamored of his concept of American culture - baseball and barbeques - and tries to shed his Lebanese heritage completely.
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Excellent
- By Cheyenne on 06-13-15
By: Karim Dimechkie
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Driftwood
- A Novel
- By: Elizabeth Dutton
- Narrated by: Elizabeth Dutton
- Length: 6 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Los Angeles, California: Clem Jasper is a trust fund kid with a world famous rock musician for a father. When he dies suddenly (playing ping pong) she discovers he's left her a strange legacy: a series of letters that take her on a mysterious road trip around California. Ignoring her aunt's suggestion that she pitch the trip as a reality show, she embarks on her own to discover just what it was that her father meant her to find. What secret could be so powerful that he had to die before telling her?
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I cried with this one,
- By Angela on 08-16-23
By: Elizabeth Dutton
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The Night Listener
- By: Armistead Maupin
- Narrated by: Armistead Maupin
- Length: 9 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
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This unprecedented audio project is as thought-provoking as it is mesmeric. The Night Listener is a meditation on the power of voices and the faith we place in them, and an extraordinary audio experience from an American literary icon.
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Wheels within wheels
- By Naomi on 07-06-03
By: Armistead Maupin
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The Road Home
- By: Ford Michael Thomas Ford
- Narrated by: Blake Somerset
- Length: 9 hrs and 5 mins
- Unabridged
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When a car accident leaves photographer Burke Crenshaw in need of temporary full-time care, he finds himself back in the one place no forty-year-old chooses to be--his childhood bedroom. There, in the Vermont home where he grew up, Burke begins the long process of recuperation, and watches as his widowed father finds happiness in a new relationship that's a constant reminder of everything Burke wants and lacks. Exploring local history, Burke discovers an intriguing series of letters from a Civil War soldier to his fianc.
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No need to check your scepticism at the door!
- By Orlando on 08-23-13
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Supervolcano
- Eruption
- By: Harry Turtledove
- Narrated by: Jim Frangione
- Length: 15 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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A supervolcanic eruption in Yellowstone Park sends lava and mud flowing toward populated areas, and clouds of ash drifting across the country. The fallout destroys crops and livestock, clogs machinery, and makes cities uninhabitable. Those who survive find themselves caught in an apocalyptic catastrophe in which humanity has no choice but to rise from the ashes and recreate the world.
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Jerky horrible narration.
- By Ann on 04-23-12
By: Harry Turtledove
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Everybody's Son
- A Novel
- By: Thrity Umrigar
- Narrated by: Josh Bloomberg
- Length: 10 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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During a terrible heat wave in 1991 - the worst in a decade - 10-year-old Anton has been locked in an apartment in the projects, alone, for seven days, without air conditioning or a fan. With no electricity, the refrigerator and lights do not work. Hot, hungry, and desperate, Anton shatters a window and climbs out. Cutting his leg on the broken glass, he is covered in blood when the police find him. Juanita, his mother, is discovered in a crack house less than three blocks away, nearly unconscious and half-naked.
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Engaging and insightful
- By Amazon Customer on 07-12-17
By: Thrity Umrigar
What listeners say about Those Eyes: A Metaphysical Comedy
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Dominique
- 08-23-17
Funny, random, engaging, and worth listening to
This book is unique and there are few others I can compare it to. It starts out in a way that forces you to either love it or hate it, so I suggest you listen to a sample to determine which category you will fall into. But since the first five minutes caused me to giggle snort my soda out my nose a few times and laugh out loud other times with its clever and surprising use of appropriate profanity, I fell in love. One line of the first chapter sticks with me, as I paraphrase - This book will have you standing in the middle of your living room with your head in one hand and a head of cabbage in the other hand, saying WTF. And I should mention now that I was given this free review copy audio book at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
Yes, that kind of randomness and unexpected visual cracked me up. But very quickly, that intro passes and we are thrust into a charming story of a boy in love and how his life is altered when his soul is checked around by the powers that be as he searches for his One True Love. It's a finely crafted story by Marc Richard who reminds me of a Gold Medal Olympic figure skater pretending to be drunk on the ice -- in order to seem drunk while ice skating you have to be THAT GOOD not to fall on your face. Make sense? This guy is that good.
Meanwhile, narrator David S. Dear navigates the story in a way that had me forgetting David wasn't the author. In other words, he read with such panache and ease, the words seemed to be his own. Why can't all readers be so smooth an natural?
If you're tired of formula books where this happens, then that happens, then you know what's going to happen next, just stop! Try Those Eyes and hear the difference when a really masterful writer gets inside your head. You'll be laughing and smiling all along the ride.
Highly recommended for a fun, original, unpredictable story of life, love and why we sometimes feel like chess pieces on a giant board the size of planet earth.
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- Dee
- 07-30-17
If you are in the mood for different...
Any additional comments?
I can't tell you how many times I rolled my eyes while listening to this book. I never stopped listening though!
This book started off on a quirky note and I was never quite sure what I was listening to. It was intriguing enough and a couple of times, while I was in the middle of rolling my eyes, I almost did a spittake. There was some mirth and some snark and some dream sequences and some ethereal shenanigans and it all combined to keep me entertained enough to finish the listen.
I suppose it was a love story, like the title says, but, well, it was and it wasn't. It didn't even have an HEA. Well, it sorta did, but it didn't. (I know that doesn't help but this was just that kind of book.)
I loved the narrator. There was a lightness to the listen that was carried through in the narration. David Dear was probably more of the reason I kept listening. It was hard to follow the surreality of the story at times but his vocals were engaging and entertaining.
This is not your run of the mill listen but if you are in the mood for different, this book will deliver.
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- Paul A. Luedecke
- 02-23-18
Eyes for you
Any additional comments?
What happens if you're true love is no longer there, but a baby is? It is not as bad as it sounds, just another bit of silliness. Enjoy!
All of Marc Richard's books have an oddness to them that, if one is so inclined to the odd, is easy to appreciate, simply for the out there way he comes up with the tales. The narrator, David S. Dear, does a great job in keeping up the tongue-in-cheek absurdity of it all.
"I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review."
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- Lidia Chymkowska
- 08-26-17
It really is a bizarre book:)
Would you try another book from Marc Richard and/or David S. Dear?
Yes, I would - as this one had me a little bit confused:) It really is a bizarre story, and I have to admit I would probably like it better if I read it, not listen to it... I think the structure of the book works better on paper, with all those "cut-in scenes" which, when you listen, don't make much sense or feel unconnected to the plot at all... I also think the kind of humour used here works better on paper, at least it does for me - it's a little too crude for my taste, and while I don't mind it so much when written down, I really don't like it said out loud as it comes out too vulgar sometimes... and it did feel a little too forced in the audio version... Still, if you like that "in the face" kind of humor, you'll definitely like the book, but if you prefer something more subtle, you may have confused feelings about the story, just like me:)
How would you have changed the story to make it more enjoyable?
I would probably leave out some of the scenes that were put here and there, right in the middle of the main plot, like some of the conversations between Steve and Josh or the scene with Freddie meeting Death... I felt they were completely unnecessary and did not really develop on the whole idea of the "god-administrators" of the souls... The concept had already been established and those scenes just intruded in the hunt for Helen...:) But again, they probably work better when you read the story, not listen to it...:)
Which character – as performed by David S. Dear – was your favorite?
I liked the main character - he felt right, real and deep. Generally I liked the performance by Mr Dear; there was some acting done by him, but generally he did not really try to make much difference between the voices of particular characters, still being able to make it clear who was talking to whom and what emotions they felt.
Was Those Eyes worth the listening time?
On the whole, yes. It was a strange listen, at times even difficult because of the book's structure, hard to be convincingly conveyed into an audio form; but it did finally leave me with a nice feeling of completion and warmth towards Freddie and Kate, so yes, give the book a chance:)
Any additional comments?
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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- Rhonda
- 07-30-17
Odd but ended up being ok
Is there anything you would change about this book?
The beginning of this book was so weird I almost stopped listening to it. Not because it comes across as insulting (which it does) but more like it was written by someone who was on drugs at the time. The style in the beginning is odd and some of the writing seemed random and hard to connect to the story. It got better as it progressed.
Was Those Eyes worth the listening time?
It was just so-so. There were some funny parts and some interesting points but it could have been a lot better.
Any additional comments?
I was voluntarily provided this free review copy audiobook by the author, narrator, or publisher.
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- Lomeraniel
- 09-03-17
Satirical view of God and reincarnation
This book is a satirical view about God and reincarnation. I would not recommend it to diehard believers since they may find it irreverent, but as an atheist I did not mind this at all. It was quite hilarious, in fact. The book is based on the principle that reincarnation is something real, and the only way to create new lives (or to transfer them). The book basically tells the story of a young couple in the 50's, in which he dies but reincarnates on a young boy who all his life feels something missing. It is the sad story of two predestined souls who never meet at the right time, but which are nevertheless still waiting for each other.
Be prepared for a totally different book. The story is told in a funny and quirky way, with lots of cutaways and random comments. It is clear that this book is written by a man, by the gruesome way in which the deliver scene is described. I found it a bit too much.
The characters are well developed and I was able to relate to them, but in a way I felt cheated, since we expect them to meet at some point in life but we have just to conform ourselves with the hope that maybe one day they will meet, despite all the efforts made by Josh and Steve (Richard's version of God). I had the impression of a long build up just to have it deflated at the end.
In a way, this book is like life itself, in which nothing goes according to plan, and we have to make do with what we get; and even if something feels that must happen, there is never the security that it will.
David S. Dear's cheeky narration was the perfect for this book. His compelling tone kept me interested through the cutaways which threatened to get me distracted. His characters' interpretations were quite vivid and voices were distinctive enough to identify them. Dear's voice is clear and the audio production was quite good. There were just some little noises towards the end of the book. For the rest it was a five star narration.
Despite the strangeness of this book, I really enjoyed it, but be aware that it is not a story for everyone. But those who get this book will have a lot of fun.
I was given this free review copy audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review.
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