
Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Buy for $17.19
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Ada Calhoun
-
By:
-
Ada Calhoun
About this listen
Inspired by her wildly popular New York Times essay "The Wedding Toast I'll Never Give", Ada Calhoun provides a funny (but not flip), smart (but not smug) take on the institution of marriage. Weaving intimate moments from her own married life with frank insight from experts, clergy, and friends, she upends expectations of total marital bliss to present a realistic - but ultimately optimistic - portrait of what marriage is really like. There will be fights, there will be existential angst, there may even be affairs; sometimes you'll look at the person you love and feel nothing but rage. Despite it all, Calhoun contends, staying married is easy: Just don't get divorced.
Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give offers bracing straight talk to the newly married and honors those who have weathered the storm. This exploration of modern marriage is at once wise and entertaining, a work of unexpected candor and literary grace.
©2017 Ada Calhoun (P)2017 HighBridge, a division of Recorded BooksListeners also enjoyed...
-
Why We Can't Sleep
- Women's New Midlife Crisis
- By: Ada Calhoun
- Narrated by: Ada Calhoun
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Ada Calhoun found herself in the throes of a midlife crisis, she thought that she had no right to complain. She was married with children and a good career. So why did she feel miserable? And why did it seem that other Generation X women were miserable, too? Calhoun decided to find some answers. She looked into housing costs, HR trends, credit card debt averages, and divorce data. At every turn, she saw a pattern: sandwiched between the Boomers and Millennials, Gen X women were facing new problems as they entered middle age, problems that were being largely overlooked.
-
-
Generation X Chick
- By Kristina on 01-25-20
By: Ada Calhoun
-
Also a Poet
- A Memoir
- By: Ada Calhoun
- Narrated by: Ada Calhoun, Lili Taylor, Josephine Brill
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Ada Calhoun stumbled upon old cassette tapes of interviews her father, celebrated art critic Peter Schjeldahl, had conducted for his never-completed biography of poet Frank O’Hara, she set out to finish the book her father had started 40 years earlier. As a lifelong O’Hara fan who grew up amid his bohemian cohort in the East Village, Calhoun thought the project would be easy, even fun, but the deeper she dove, the more she had to face not just O’Hara’s past, but also her father’s and her own.
-
-
Pretty Interesting
- By Michele A. Cacano-Green on 08-02-22
By: Ada Calhoun
-
Spare
- By: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Narrated by: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.
-
-
Gutterball!
- By Jimmyjoejangles on 01-10-23
-
Love & Saffron
- A Novel of Friendship, Food, and Love
- By: Kim Fay
- Narrated by: Kimberly Farr, Cassandra Campbell, Mark Bramhall, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When twenty-seven-year-old Joan Bergstrom sends a fan letter—as well as a gift of saffron—to fifty-nine-year-old Imogen Fortier, a life-changing friendship begins. Joan lives in Los Angeles and is just starting out as a writer for the newspaper food pages. Imogen lives on Camano Island outside Seattle, writing a monthly column for a Pacific Northwest magazine, and while she can hunt elk and dig for clams, she’s never tasted fresh garlic--exotic fare in the Northwest of the sixties.
-
-
Absolutely delightful
- By Meredith on 03-21-25
By: Kim Fay
-
Counterfeit
- A Novel
- By: Kirstin Chen
- Narrated by: Catherine Ho
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ava Wong has always played it safe. As a strait-laced, rule-abiding Chinese American lawyer with a successful surgeon as a husband, a young son, and a beautiful home—she’s built the perfect life. But beneath this façade, Ava’s world is crumbling: her marriage is falling apart, her expensive law degree hasn’t been used in years, and her toddler’s tantrums are pushing her to the breaking point. Enter Winnie Fang, Ava’s enigmatic college roommate from Mainland China, who abruptly dropped out under mysterious circumstances.
-
-
a great snapshot into toxic chinese upbringing
- By ruka on 07-12-22
By: Kirstin Chen
-
Becoming Duchess Goldblatt
- By: anonymous
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, Lyle Lovett, J. Smith-Cameron
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Becoming Duchess Goldblatt is two stories: that of the reclusive real-life writer who created a fictional character out of loneliness and thin air, and that of the magical Duchess Goldblatt herself, a bright light in the darkness of social media. Fans around the world are drawn to Her Grace's voice, her wit, her life-affirming love for all humanity, and the fun and friendship of the community that's sprung up around her.
-
-
Oh Dear Duchess!
- By Rebecca Lindroos on 07-20-20
By: anonymous
-
Why We Can't Sleep
- Women's New Midlife Crisis
- By: Ada Calhoun
- Narrated by: Ada Calhoun
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Ada Calhoun found herself in the throes of a midlife crisis, she thought that she had no right to complain. She was married with children and a good career. So why did she feel miserable? And why did it seem that other Generation X women were miserable, too? Calhoun decided to find some answers. She looked into housing costs, HR trends, credit card debt averages, and divorce data. At every turn, she saw a pattern: sandwiched between the Boomers and Millennials, Gen X women were facing new problems as they entered middle age, problems that were being largely overlooked.
-
-
Generation X Chick
- By Kristina on 01-25-20
By: Ada Calhoun
-
Also a Poet
- A Memoir
- By: Ada Calhoun
- Narrated by: Ada Calhoun, Lili Taylor, Josephine Brill
- Length: 6 hrs and 33 mins
- Original Recording
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Ada Calhoun stumbled upon old cassette tapes of interviews her father, celebrated art critic Peter Schjeldahl, had conducted for his never-completed biography of poet Frank O’Hara, she set out to finish the book her father had started 40 years earlier. As a lifelong O’Hara fan who grew up amid his bohemian cohort in the East Village, Calhoun thought the project would be easy, even fun, but the deeper she dove, the more she had to face not just O’Hara’s past, but also her father’s and her own.
-
-
Pretty Interesting
- By Michele A. Cacano-Green on 08-02-22
By: Ada Calhoun
-
Spare
- By: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Narrated by: Prince Harry The Duke of Sussex
- Length: 15 hrs and 39 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It was one of the most searing images of the twentieth century: two young boys, two princes, walking behind their mother’s coffin as the world watched in sorrow—and horror. As Princess Diana was laid to rest, billions wondered what Prince William and Prince Harry must be thinking and feeling—and how their lives would play out from that point on.
-
-
Gutterball!
- By Jimmyjoejangles on 01-10-23
-
Love & Saffron
- A Novel of Friendship, Food, and Love
- By: Kim Fay
- Narrated by: Kimberly Farr, Cassandra Campbell, Mark Bramhall, and others
- Length: 3 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When twenty-seven-year-old Joan Bergstrom sends a fan letter—as well as a gift of saffron—to fifty-nine-year-old Imogen Fortier, a life-changing friendship begins. Joan lives in Los Angeles and is just starting out as a writer for the newspaper food pages. Imogen lives on Camano Island outside Seattle, writing a monthly column for a Pacific Northwest magazine, and while she can hunt elk and dig for clams, she’s never tasted fresh garlic--exotic fare in the Northwest of the sixties.
-
-
Absolutely delightful
- By Meredith on 03-21-25
By: Kim Fay
-
Counterfeit
- A Novel
- By: Kirstin Chen
- Narrated by: Catherine Ho
- Length: 7 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ava Wong has always played it safe. As a strait-laced, rule-abiding Chinese American lawyer with a successful surgeon as a husband, a young son, and a beautiful home—she’s built the perfect life. But beneath this façade, Ava’s world is crumbling: her marriage is falling apart, her expensive law degree hasn’t been used in years, and her toddler’s tantrums are pushing her to the breaking point. Enter Winnie Fang, Ava’s enigmatic college roommate from Mainland China, who abruptly dropped out under mysterious circumstances.
-
-
a great snapshot into toxic chinese upbringing
- By ruka on 07-12-22
By: Kirstin Chen
-
Becoming Duchess Goldblatt
- By: anonymous
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman, Lyle Lovett, J. Smith-Cameron
- Length: 5 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Becoming Duchess Goldblatt is two stories: that of the reclusive real-life writer who created a fictional character out of loneliness and thin air, and that of the magical Duchess Goldblatt herself, a bright light in the darkness of social media. Fans around the world are drawn to Her Grace's voice, her wit, her life-affirming love for all humanity, and the fun and friendship of the community that's sprung up around her.
-
-
Oh Dear Duchess!
- By Rebecca Lindroos on 07-20-20
By: anonymous
-
Signal Fires
- A Novel
- By: Dani Shapiro
- Narrated by: Dani Shapiro
- Length: 7 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Division Street is full of secrets. An impulsive lie begets a secret—one which will forever haunt the Wilf family. And the Shenkmans, who move into the neighborhood many years later, bring secrets of their own.. Spanning fifty kaleidoscopic years, on a street—and in a galaxy—where stars collapse and stories collide, these two families become bound in ways they never could have imagined. Urgent and compassionate, Signal Fires is a magical story for our times, a literary tour de force by a masterful storyteller at the height of her powers.
-
-
Depressing, poorly read
- By Arden Mahaffey on 11-02-22
By: Dani Shapiro
-
The Love Prescription
- Seven Days to More Intimacy, Connection, and Joy
- By: John Gottman PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman PhD
- Narrated by: James Patrick Cronin, Kiiri Sandy
- Length: 4 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What makes love last? Why does one couple stay together forever, while another falls apart? And most importantly, is there a scientific formula for love? Drs. John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman are the world’s leading relationship scientists. For the past forty years, they have been studying love. They’ve gathered data on over three thousand couples, looking at everything from their body language to the way they converse to their stress hormone levels. Their goal: to identify the building blocks of love.
-
-
Helpful for neurotypicals
- By Audrey4791 on 01-19-23
By: John Gottman PhD, and others
-
Body Work
- The Radical Power of Personal Narrative
- By: Melissa Febos
- Narrated by: Melissa Febos
- Length: 3 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In this bold and exhilarating mix of memoir and master class, Melissa Febos tackles the emotional, psychological, and physical work of writing intimately while offering an utterly fresh examination of the storyteller's life and the questions which run through it.
-
-
A must!!!
- By Karen S on 02-13-23
By: Melissa Febos
-
Stay True
- A Memoir
- By: Hua Hsu
- Narrated by: Hua Hsu
- Length: 5 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the eyes of eighteen-year-old Hua Hsu, the problem with Ken—with his passion for Dave Matthews, Abercrombie & Fitch, and his fraternity—is that he is exactly like everyone else. Ken, whose Japanese American family has been in the United States for generations, is mainstream; for Hua, the son of Taiwanese immigrants, who makes ’zines and haunts Bay Area record shops, Ken represents all that he defines himself in opposition to. The only thing Hua and Ken have in common is that, however they engage with it, American culture doesn’t seem to have a place for either of them.
-
-
At the end, this book is about friendships
- By rosalinda lam on 10-31-22
By: Hua Hsu
-
Tomorrow, and Tomorrow, and Tomorrow
- A Novel
- By: Gabrielle Zevin
- Narrated by: Jennifer Kim, Julian Cihi
- Length: 13 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sam and Sadie—two college friends, often in love, but never lovers—become creative partners in a dazzling and intricately imagined world of video game design, where success brings them fame, joy, tragedy, duplicity, and, ultimately, a kind of immortality. It is a love story, but not one you have heard before.
-
-
This book sucked the life out of me
- By RMan on 08-08-22
By: Gabrielle Zevin
-
Tell Me Everything
- The Story of a Private Investigation
- By: Erika Krouse
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 9 hrs and 35 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Erika Krouse has one of those faces. “I don’t know why I’m telling you this,” people say, spilling confessions. In fall 2002, Erika accepts a new contract job investigating lawsuits as a private investigator. The role seems perfect for her, but she quickly realizes she has no idea what she’s doing. Then a lawyer named Grayson assigns her to investigate a sexual assault, a college student who was attacked by football players and recruits at a party a year earlier. Erika knows she should turn the assignment down.
-
-
Love this author
- By Jessica on 04-08-22
By: Erika Krouse
-
The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober
- Discovering a Happy, Healthy, Wealthy Alcohol-Free Life
- By: Catherine Gray
- Narrated by: Catherine Gray
- Length: 10 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Ever sworn off alcohol for January and found yourself drinking by the 7th? Think there's 'no point' in just one drink? Welcome! There are millions of us. This inspirational, aspirational and highly relatable narrative champions the benefits of sobriety with a three-pronged approach combining the author's personal experience, factual reportage and contributions from expert sources and self-help advice for anyone who wants to reduce their alcohol intake or eliminate it completely.
-
-
Best Book on This Subject!
- By Polly on 05-14-20
By: Catherine Gray
-
The Mosquito Bowl
- A Game of Life and Death in World War II
- By: Buzz Bissinger
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 10 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When the Japanese attacked Pearl Harbor, college football was at the height of its popularity. As the nation geared up for total war, one branch of the service dominated the aspirations of college football stars: the United States Marine Corps. Which is why, on Christmas Eve of 1944, when the 4th and 29th Marine regiments found themselves in the middle of the Pacific Ocean training for what would be the bloodiest battle of the war – the invasion of Okinawa—their ranks included one of the greatest pools of football talent ever assembled.
-
-
War Story Interrupted Briefly by a Football Game
- By William G. Stuart on 10-14-22
By: Buzz Bissinger
-
How to Fall in Love with Anyone
- Essays
- By: Mandy Len Catron
- Narrated by: Mandy Len Catron
- Length: 7 hrs and 53 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What really makes love last? Does love ever work the way we say it does in movies and books and Facebook posts? Or does obsessing over those love stories hurt our real-life relationships? When her parents divorced after a 28 year marriage and her own 10-year relationship ended, those were the questions that Mandy Len Catron wanted to answer.
-
-
For the most part, frustrating and exhausting
- By Tracy64 on 06-28-17
By: Mandy Len Catron
-
Vacationland
- True Stories from Painful Beaches
- By: John Hodgman
- Narrated by: John Hodgman
- Length: 5 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
John Hodgman - New York Times best-selling author, semifamous personality, deranged millionaire, increasingly elderly husband, father, and human of Earth - has written a memoir about his cursed travels through two wildernesses: from the woods of his home in Massachusetts, birthplace of rage, to his exile on the coast of Maine, so-called Vacationland, home to the most painful beaches on Earth.
-
-
Not your typical coming of age story
- By Tiffany Pearce on 11-02-17
By: John Hodgman
-
No Happy Endings
- A Memoir
- By: Nora McInerny
- Narrated by: Nora McInerny
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
No Happy Endings is an audiobook for people living life after life has fallen apart. It’s an audiobook for people who know they’re moving forward, not moving on. It’s an audiobook for people who know life isn’t always happy, but it isn’t the end: There will be unimaginable joy and incomprehensible tragedy. As Nora reminds us, there will be no happy endings - but there will be new beginnings.
-
-
Puts it together
- By Amazon Customer on 04-30-19
By: Nora McInerny
-
It's Okay to Laugh (Crying Is Cool Too)
- By: Nora McInerny Purmort
- Narrated by: Nora McInerny Purmort
- Length: 6 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Twentysomething Nora McInerny Purmort bounced from boyfriend to boyfriend and job to job. Then she met Aaron, a charismatic art director and her kindred spirit. They made mixtapes (and pancakes) into the wee hours of the morning. They finished each other's sentences. They just knew. When Aaron was diagnosed with a rare brain cancer, they refused to let it limit their love. They got engaged on Aaron's hospital bed and married after his first surgery. They had a baby when he was on chemo.
-
-
Fresh, brutally raw and honest
- By ashton on 05-31-16
Featured Article: The Best Listens on Marriage for Every Couple
The word "marriage" may conjure images of extravagant clothes, gold rings, and reciting vows on a tropical beach at sunset. But those are all features of a wedding, not a marriage. Marriage itself is a far more difficult and consequential endeavor that, in an ideal scenario, will last a lifetime. So whether you’re preparing to take the plunge or looking to strengthen your marriage, it's never a bad idea to get advice from a variety of trusted sources.
What listeners say about Wedding Toasts I'll Never Give
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- nate
- 06-06-17
anecdotal observational humorous real marriage
Quick, entertaining, insightful "read". Well and dryly narrated. No holds barred in a approachable way.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Mrs.Chablis
- 08-30-23
Highly recommend!
I just loved this. It reminds me of something Olivia Harrison said in a documentary about George Harrison and their life together. "People ask me, what's the secret to staying married? ... Not getting divorced!" There is something beautiful about honoring your vows, and that's been lost in this day and age when some people will get divorced over a ham sandwich. Ada Calhoun does a lovely job of looking back at the up's and down's of a life spent together.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Mike
- 01-23-20
fun, sometimes profound, lackluster performance
Full of surprising insights. Very honest. Sometimes hilarious. Read with a disappointing singsong rhythm, like she was bored with the whole thing.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Sunny
- 04-29-21
Great pre marriage read!
Listened to this book on our vacation drive with my fiancé and really helped put a lot of articulate words to things we were both consciously and unconsciously thinking/feeling. Really brought us closer together.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Amazon Customer
- 09-20-19
Very Necessary
I have an aversion to doing what everyone else is doing. That’s why I’ve never seen Star Wars, The Terminator, or the Die Hard series of movies. It’s why I don’t have purple circle shaped bruises all over my back, or all the hair lasered off my body. And I couldn’t name for you a single song off the Hamilton soundtrack. It’s also why I am only now reading this book. I regret none of those decisions save one. I should have read this very necessary book much sooner. I believe it has saved me from divorce from so much more than my seemingly failing marriage, and brought me back to myself. Thank you for your brutally polite and beautiful honesty, Ada Calhoun. No exclamation point, because I truly mean it. xo
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- K S
- 07-19-22
Excellent!!!
Wonderful reflection on marriage. Highly recommend for all who are married! Funny, insightful, honest. Loved!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!