Why We Can't Sleep Audiobook By Ada Calhoun cover art

Why We Can't Sleep

Women's New Midlife Crisis

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Why We Can't Sleep

By: Ada Calhoun
Narrated by: Ada Calhoun
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About this listen

A generation-defining examination of the new midlife crisis facing Gen X women and the unique circumstances that have brought them to this point, Why We Can’t Sleep is a lively successor to Passages by Gail Sheehy and The Defining Decade by Meg Jay.

When Ada Calhoun found herself in the throes of a midlife crisis, she thought that she had no right to complain. She was married with children and a good career. So why did she feel miserable? And why did it seem that other Generation X women were miserable, too?

Calhoun decided to find some answers. She looked into housing costs, HR trends, credit card debt averages, and divorce data. At every turn, she saw a pattern: sandwiched between the Boomers and Millennials, Gen X women were facing new problems as they entered middle age, problems that were being largely overlooked.

Speaking with women across America about their experiences as the generation expected to “have it all”, Calhoun found that most were exhausted, terrified about money, under-employed, and overwhelmed. Instead of their issues being heard, they were told to lean in, take “me time”, or make a chore chart to get their lives and homes in order.

In Why We Can’t Sleep, Calhoun opens up the cultural and political contexts of Gen X’s predicament and offers solutions for how to pull oneself out of the abyss - and keep the next generation from falling in. The result is reassuring, empowering, and essential listening for all middle-aged women, and anyone who hopes to understand them.

PLEASE NOTE: When you purchase this title, the accompanying PDF will be available in your Audible Library along with the audio.

©2019 Ada Calhoun (P)2019 Audible, Inc.
Gender Studies Relationships Sociology Inspiring Thought-Provoking Witty Funny
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Editor's Pick

Here we are now, validate us
"Being "seen" is a decidedly Gen Z and millennial aspiration, but even us aging Gen-Xers—famously misanthropic, pessimistic, and nonconformist—have a primal need for acknowledgement. As a 45-year-old mother of two, child of divorced parents (one of whom is of failing health), I felt 100% #seen by Ada Calhoun’s glorious paean to the plight of the modern middle-aged woman. Informed by her extremely viral article for O magazine ("The New Midlife Crisis"), Why We Can’t Sleep is sensitively reported, exhaustively researched, and full of so-funny-because-it’s-so-painfully-true moments. If you feel the full weight of the mental load of parenting up, down, and sideways, I promise you’ll feel validated by Calhoun’s message." —Courtney R., Audible Editor

What listeners say about Why We Can't Sleep

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Validating

Very validating and definitely made me feel less alone in my current state of... 44. I have to say the statistics and research feel bleak but are also reaffirming. It feels kind of like listening to the season 1 recap before heading to season 2. Here is everything that’s happened so far and there were a lot of challenges, let’s see what happens next.
For accuracy the arm of the hormone trial that was stopped was the “progestin” not “progesterone” arm.

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15 people found this helpful

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Interesting perspective for Gen X Women

Overall I enjoyed this Perspective of living as a Gen X midlife women. Some interesting data on our behaviors, challenges and strengths

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5 people found this helpful

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I hoped for more

I would have liked it to be longer and in more detail it was mainly just ranting for most of the book with some scientific studies.

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2 people found this helpful

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Exactly what I needed

Happened upon this audiobook by accident, and it’s exactly what I needed. As woman in her early 40’s and wondering what going on,am I loosing my mind? Hearing stories of women going though the same battles or confusions was very freeing. A must listen.

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1 person found this helpful

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Both informative and comforting

The combo of historical reference, data, facts and figures, and personal narrative was very effective. I felt more informed and more hopeful and less alone after listening to this. I wish it were avsilZblr in print.

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Loved this book!

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. She references so many things from my childhood. This book connects the dots for me, as a GenX women, by discussing the events and influences that shaped me.

I read a review prior to purchasing this book that indicated it had political leanings against the president. I have read many books with political leanings and this book is not one of them. The author is discussing anxiety, social media and polarization. This portion of the book lasts 60 seconds.

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this genx woman loved this book

this genx woman loved this book. I didn't feel like it was a downer. it did help me understand why I feel like I do in life.

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Exactly what I needed

Was absolutely blown away by this book halfway through the introduction. I had to pause, several times, to text my best friend to let her know, "this is us and we are not crazy." I will be re-listening right away to reinforce what I have learned from this book . Message gets across without being heavy and clinical. This is not a self-help book. This is a straight talk book for us Gen X women. Somebody finally gets us!

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    3 out of 5 stars
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Good Points

I am a baby boomer who read this book to better understand the challenges faced by my gen x/millennial daughter. I think the book succeeded in that regard. Yet many of the challenges outlined were similar to those I faced as a baby boomer single parent with a career. I felt the book would have had more depth if the author had done more to contrast the differences in outlook between the generations, along with reasons for those differences. I also found the ending a little trite. But the book is worth a listen!

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Not enough concrete suggestions for solutions.

I loved the first half of the book and definitely felt seen (#genx 1971).

My biggest qualm with this book is that despite the author mentioning isolation and being invisible as difficult aspects to navigate as a middle aged woman, she spends large portions of the book humble bragging about all the friends she has.

The author literally seems to make middle aged female friends everywhere. I suspect she is a very extroverted and likable person, but sometimes her discussion about friends she made writing the book, long time friends from her hard partying days, ones she made when her kids where little (who she still keeps in contact with!) and friends coming to her birthday party and friends she plays poker with etc etc sounds an awful like the social media puffery she looks down on in the book.

Since this is one of the main suggested ways to deal with the middle aged crisis (have lots of female friends your age to commiserate with) I wish she gave a few concrete resources on HOW to do so. Are there online groups? In person suggestions? Where? How does an isolated and invisible person do this?

Without any concrete and real discussions and resources on solutions, the authors advice to make more middle aged friends sounds just like one more impossible thing to add to my To-Do List.

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