What Would Machiavelli Do?
The Ends Justify the Meanness
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Narrated by:
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Philip Bosco
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By:
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Stanley Bing
About this listen
A sly send-up of the successful What Would Jesus Do? books, here is a satisfyingly mean, light-hearted approach to business success - the Machiavellian way.
Machiavellians may not get to heaven, but on earth they have a definite edge on the competition. In this pithy and discretely vicious guide, Stanley Bing shows how the Florentine master statesman and political thinker would handle today's myriad corporate challenges, seize the future by the throat, and make it cough up money, power, and superior office space. So, what exactly would Machiavelli do?
He would exploit himself only slightly less than he exploits others.
He would be in love with his destiny.
He would, for the most part, be a paranoid freak.
He would always be at war.
He would cultivate a few well-loved enemies.
He would have a couple of good friends, too.
He would acquire his neighbor.
He would think BIG.
He would move forward like a great shark, eating as he goes.
And much, much more.
More than a road map to success, this hands-on guide will help anyone get what they want, whether or not they deserve it.
Balance the yin of What Would Machiavelli Do? with its yang, Throwing the Elephant.©2002 Stanley Bing (P)2002 HarperCollinsPublishers, Inc.Listeners also enjoyed...
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Put down the knife, lock away the gun, lay aside the noose - Joy Behar is here to save you from suicide as she hot walks you through the next four years (two if we are lucky, less if liberal dreams come true). Besides despair, the sane response to the insanity in the White House is laughter. On her hit ABC daytime show The View, Joy has been blunt in her condemnation of the comb over-in-chief, and her words have electrified and inspired millions in the resistance for whom #notmypresident has become a rallying cry.
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Funny and Smart !
- By MM on 10-29-17
By: Joy Behar
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Anything for a Hit
- An A&R Woman's Story of Surviving the Music Industry
- By: Dorothy Carvello
- Narrated by: Traci Odom
- Length: 7 hrs and 56 mins
- Unabridged
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Dorothy Carvello knows all about the music biz. She was the first female A&R executive at Atlantic Records and one of the few in the room at RCA and Columbia. Featuring never-before-heard stories about artists like Michael Jackson, Madonna, Steven Tyler, Bon Jovi, INXS, Marc Anthony, Phil Collins, and many more, this audiobook is a must-hear for anyone who has ever wondered what it's really like to be a woman in a male-dominated industry.
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A MUST READ (listen) for all females
- By CallieRoseMadeIt on 07-17-19
By: Dorothy Carvello
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Hopping Over the Rabbit Hole
- How Entrepreneurs Turn Failure into Success
- By: Anthony Scaramucci
- Narrated by: Anthony Scaramucci
- Length: 6 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Hopping Over the Rabbit Hole chronicles the rise, fall, and resurgence of SkyBridge Capital founder Anthony Scaramucci, giving you a primer on how to thrive in an unpredictable business environment. The sheer number of American success stories has created a false impression that becoming an entrepreneur is a can't-miss endeavor - but nothing could be further from the truth. Hopping Over the Rabbit Hole gives you the skills, insight, and mindset you need to be one of the winners.
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Scaramucci is Key to Making America Great Again
- By Cynthia on 07-24-17
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Success Is for You
- Using Heart-Centered Power Principles for Lasting Abundance and Fulfillment
- By: David R. Hawkins M.D. Ph.D
- Narrated by: David R. Hawkins M.D. Ph.D
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
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Success Is for You draws upon many concepts that fans of Dr. Hawkins will recognize and applies them to the world of business and the psychology of success. Expanding upon the illuminating discussion of the attractor patterns of success from Power vs. Force, this remarkable never-before-published book pulls back the curtain on the inner workings of the successful mind. Success, according to Dr. Hawkins, is an attitude we inhabit rather than a goal we strive for.
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Actually some new stuff for me...
- By Amazon Customer on 03-28-17
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Working Together
- Why Great Partnerships Succeed
- By: Michael D. Eisner, Aaron R. Cohen
- Narrated by: Rick Adamson, Michael D. Eisner (introduction and epilogue)
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
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Dig deep and you will find the most compelling argument for working together: Happiness. In business there are always unique individual achievers, but pull down the veil and you'll often find someone alongside them. Michael Eisner does just that in Working Together. Using his own collaboration with Frank Wells at Disney as a launching point for examining other famously successful partnerships, Eisner offers us an intimate and deeply personal look at some of the most rewarding business partnerships.
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Interesting to see what all partners had in common
- By Amazon Customer on 06-01-13
By: Michael D. Eisner, and others
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The Perfect Day to Boss Up
- A Hustler's Guide to Building Your Empire
- By: Rick Ross, Neil Martinez-Belkin - contributor
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 4 hrs and 14 mins
- Unabridged
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Rick Ross is a hip-hop icon and a towering figure in the business world, but his path to success was not always easy. Despite adversity and setbacks, Ross held tight to his vision and never settled for anything less than greatness. Now, for the first time, he shares his secrets to success, offering his own life as a road map to listeners looking to build their own empire.
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Boss Up
- By Daniel R. on 10-02-22
By: Rick Ross, and others
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Karmic Management
- What Goes Around Comes Around In Your Business and Your Life
- By: Geshe Michael Roach, Lama Christie McNally, Michael Gordon
- Narrated by: Geshe Michael Roach
- Length: 2 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Traditional Eastern wisdom and real-life business experience come together in this brief and practical guide, which offers a step-by-step plan that will help readers adopt a more successful way of working and living. Karmic Management is a little book with a revolutionary message. It turns traditional business mentality on its head by stating simply that helping others become successful - suppliers, customers, even competitors - is the real key to success in life as well as in business.
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Loved it!
- By Ellen on 07-20-10
By: Geshe Michael Roach, and others
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Significant Zero
- Heroes, Villains, and the Fight for Art and Soul in Video Games
- By: Walt Williams
- Narrated by: Kevin T. Collins
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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When his satirical musings in a college newspaper got him discharged from the Air Force, it became clear to Walt Williams that his destiny in life was to be a writer - he just never thought he'd end up writing video games, let alone working on some of the most successful franchises in the industry - Bioshock, Civilization, Borderlands, and Mafia, among others. Williams pulls back the curtain on an astonishingly profitable industry that has put its stamp on pop culture and yet is little known to those outside its walls.
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it's a bad autobiography not what the title says
- By Chelsea on 11-22-17
By: Walt Williams
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How to Stay Motivated
- Developing the Qualities of Success
- By: Zig Ziglar
- Narrated by: Zig Ziglar
- Length: 7 hrs and 48 mins
- Original Recording
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How to Stay Motivated provides you with clear and proven techniques to use to enhance relationships, improve your self-image, set and achieve goals, and so much more! Apply these winning steps from the motivational master himself to build a better, more productive, satisfying life for yourself and your family. Change your picture and change every facet of your life.
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Repeated material
- By Cbet on 11-16-08
By: Zig Ziglar
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The Power of Nice
- How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness
- By: Linda Kaplan Thaler, Robin Koval
- Narrated by: Linda Kaplan Thaler, Robin Koval
- Length: 2 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval have moved to the top of the advertising industry by following a simple but powerful philosophy: it pays to be nice. While so many companies encourage a dog-eat-dog mentality, The Kaplan Thaler Group has succeeded through chocolate and flowers.
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For selected audiences
- By Coach Brock on 10-15-07
By: Linda Kaplan Thaler, and others
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Seven Deadly Sins
- Settling the Argument Between Born Bad and Damaged Good
- By: Corey Taylor
- Narrated by: Corey Taylor
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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For the first time, Slipknot and Stone Sour frontman Corey Taylor speaks directly to his fans and shares his worldview about life as a sinner. And Taylor knows how to sin. As a small-town hero in the early '90s, he threw himself into a fierce-drinking, drug-abusing, hard-loving, live-for-the-moment life. Soon Taylor's music exploded, and he found himself rich, wanted, and on the road. His new and ever-more-extreme lifestyle had an unexpected effect, however; for the first time, he began to actively think about what it meant to sin.
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Glad I didn't read this before buying concert tix
- By S. Adams on 07-23-19
By: Corey Taylor
What listeners say about What Would Machiavelli Do?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Kerwin
- 05-11-04
A very funny tongue in cheek book
I didn't know what to expect from this book, a history lesson, a how to guide. It's both and neither. It's just a funny condemnation of greed in our modern corporate culture.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Juan
- 07-16-20
Horrible advise / Great book
This book is the perfect guide on how not to perform business. It is hilarious and gives great insight on how the C-suit, VPs and executives think and act.
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- Anonymous
- 12-07-22
perfect voice
narrator nails funny side of the sneering sense of superiority conveyed by the book, and just a damn pleasant voice to listen to.
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- Quality Reviews
- 04-21-18
Fun
Not for literal use but so funny and well read. It will make you laugh and want to be a little more edgy.
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- Chris
- 11-30-11
Entertaining spin on management or business books
have you had to read any of the books about business, or business theory? Bing's satire makes the "normal" books on business topics bearable. You are likely to see your boss, or yourself, in at least one of his examples. Try not to laugh out lound in you meeting when you think about your boss conquering the beach like Coligula though.
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1 person found this helpful
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- George Lillywhite
- 03-14-19
Nuanced and bombastic satirical take on business.
This isn't the first title by Stanley Bing that I have read, and I am beginning to see a pattern. For that reason this can be considered a joint review of the titles "The Curriculum" & "What Would Machiavelli Do?" as these books encompass the same core theme with very similar approaches.
I can recommend reading "What Would Machiavelli Do?" before "The Curriculum" as it's unique caricatured style is more obvious in Machiavelli.
Bing's work is often bashed by those who open his work expecting one of two things;
a) It is a serious book, to be taken literally and in doing so, the reader will be guaranteed success in all their professional endeavors. (finally, a cheat sheet to life!)
b) an overly moralistic reader chooses to read it for either genuine guidance or simply to scoff at the abhorrence of a narrator they would never associate with.
However, the truth is that Bing's work is a nuanced work of satire. that is as entertaining as it is because, of course, it's grounded in reality.
Truthfully, all the points laid bare by the bombastic narrator are factual. this is what makes Bing's work such a satisfying piece of literature. we would love to refute whats being said, but the well researched book provides example after example of these approaches working. from Warren Buffet to Muammar Gaddafi. Thiel to Bin Laden. the latter of both these examples being where the true nature of Bing's work shows it's head.
When writing satire two golden rules are 1. "To appear to be serious while delivering satire. It is subtle, but effective, when at first glance it looks like you are actually reporting on a real event." and 2. "take things farther than they have already gone". both of which Bing has followed to a Tee. It is the unwavering seriousness and exaggerated abhorrence that give these books their brilliance. However this approach has been a double edged sword, as many readers find themselves forgetting the true nature of these books and believing what is being said at face value.
Bing presents these points from the perspective of a caricatured business mogul who, although successful, is thoroughly and intentionally loathsome. This Character is able to give "unique" perspectives on the world of business, irrefutable by us mere plebeians. Often Bing will close a chapter with a quote from a "successful" business person, that elegantly communicates the ideologies of that chapter. only for it to turn out to be from a notoriously terrible person. Pol Pot for example. these techniques build a thriving and robust world of success among those without morals.
The Pacing of The Curriculum isn't as on the ball as Machiavelli, at 10 hours the joke can wear a little thin compared to the more succinct 3 hour read time of Machiavelli. this being said, I enjoyed all of both.
Philip Bosco is the perfect Narrator in Machiavelli, his austere voice and private school-boy oration build the aforementioned Business man character perfectly. Bing narrates The Curriculum himself, this is often a mistake for an author as they are rarely as good an orator as they are writer. This being said Bing's performance was neutral and unobtrusive to the message, which I mean as a good thing. if you notice the narrators voice it is usually because it is jarring.
The Writing style of both titles is as though it were spoken word. this works excellently for an audio book although I imagine it would grow tiring on print. in Machiavelli this paints a picture of the mogul narrator speaking at an assistant or ghost writer. (think Roger Stirling in the later seasons of Mad Men). While in The Curriculum this same technique gives the reader the impression they have attended a seminar on the subject. This is strengthened by the fact that The Curriculum comes with "Class Notes" in the form of a separate PDF showing graphs and diagrams discussed throughout the book.
Both Books are very entertaining as well as somewhat insightful. The reader should take any advice with a generous pinch of salt and not be to offended by the opinions of the fictional narrator.
I do highly recommend
G D Lillywhite
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- Isaac
- 02-04-11
Short but still a bit too long
For a tounge un cheek book, it goes on a bit long even with its limited number of pages. It is funny, but would have made a better extended essay.
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- Mz Patchouli
- 07-02-14
FRIENDS ACQUAINTANCES COWORKERS WE ALL LOVED IT!!!
What did you love best about What Would Machiavelli Do??
I loved the wit, the humor, the raw reality of it, the comedic delivery of what some take as gospel.
Who was your favorite character and why?
Ted Turner. No. Donald Trump. No wait...Barry Diller...I can't decide. I need to listen to it again. You'd think I would be able to answer this question after listening to snippets of this audio book almost everyday...Bluetooth...in the car...i pod...tablet...at home...where-ever... I got this audio book for entertainment and to poke fun at my driven co-workers...this book is a hoot!!! Looking for a business text book? Well...the Prince would love nothing more than to mold you. : )
Which character – as performed by Philip Bosco – was your favorite?
Stanley Bing. of course.
Was there a moment in the book that particularly moved you?
Shug Knight showing Vanilla Ice the finer points of his position.
Any additional comments?
Phillip Bosco's narration absolutely made this book the entertaining experience that it is.
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2 people found this helpful
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- Derick
- 04-18-16
To Be a Shark, You Have to Think Like a Shark
What did you love best about What Would Machiavelli Do??
It's funny and Philip Bosco does a wonderful job. It's a satirical look at how Machiavellian strategies can be implemented in business. Not only is it very helpful to know when to use these types of means but it's essential to recognize them. Don't be dominated, DOMINATE.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Ben R.
- 08-22-15
Hilarious!
Get it, read it, do it. That's what Machiavelli would do. And then he would fill the comment box with nonsense so Audible would accept the review.
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