When Elves Attack
A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State
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Narrated by:
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Oliver Wyman
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By:
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Tim Dorsey
About this listen
I’m dreaming of a Serge Christmas...
Palm trees with twinkle lights...
Santa’s big belly protruding over a neon Speedo....
It’s ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents.
But before that, it’s all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there’s that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves - they bite). While you’re there, skip the lame photo on Santa’s lap - Serge will give you a lap ride you’ll never forget. As for that addled elf Coleman, there’s nothing like a white Christmas. Let it snow!
So grab a six-pack, spike the eggnog, and hit the dunes on the beach as Serge and Coleman roast some nuts on an open fire and prove that reindeer really do know how to fly!
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Meet Elvis Cole, L.A. private eye.... He quotes Jiminy Cricket and carries a .38. He's a literate, wisecracking Vietnam vet who is determined never to grow up.
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Slaughtered by sickeningly awful reader
- By Lehua of Pacifica on 06-11-09
By: Robert Crais
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In the Bleak Midwinter
- By: Julia Spencer-Fleming
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 12 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
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Clare Fergusson, St. Alban's new priest, fits like a square peg in the conservative Episcopal parish at Miller's Kill, New York. She is not just a "lady"; she's a tough ex-Army chopper pilot, and nobody's fool. Then a newborn infant left at the church door brings her together with the town's police chief, Russ Van Alstyne, who's also ex-Army and a cynical good shepherd for the stray sheep of his hometown.
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Ice Cold Complex Small Town Police Procedural/Mystery
- By Sara on 12-27-14
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Tilt-a-Whirl
- John Ceepak, Book 1
- By: Chris Grabenstein
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
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There isn't much fun in the sun when a billionaire real estate tycoon is found murdered on the Tilt-a-Whirl at a seedy seaside amusement park in the otherwise quiet summer tourist town of Sea Haven. John Ceepak, a former MP just back from Iraq, has just joined the Sea Haven police department. The job offer came from an old Army buddy who hoped to give Ceepak at least a summer's worth of rest and relaxation to help him forget the horrors of war. Instead, Ceepak will head up the murder investigation.
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All I can say is WOW!
- By Catherine J. Pondozzi on 08-06-13
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Every Crooked Nanny
- A Callahan Garrity Mystery, Book 1
- By: Mary Kay Andrews
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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After 10 years of cleaning up the dirt on Atlanta's streets, Callahan Garrity is trading in her badge for a broom and a staff of house cleaners. But, though the uniform is a little different, Callahan soon finds herself right back in the middle of a mystery when a client's pretty, pious 19-year-old nanny is gone...along with the jewelry, silver, and a few rather sensitive real estate documents. Before she knows it, the meticulous Callahan is up to her elbows in a case involving illicit love triangles, crooked business deals, long-distance scams, and a dead body.
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For light entertainment - Also reviews explained
- By Chicago Laura on 07-05-13
By: Mary Kay Andrews
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The Last Policeman
- The Last Policeman, Book 1
- By: Ben H. Winters
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
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What’s the point in solving murders if we’re all going to die soon, anyway? Detective Hank Palace has faced this question ever since asteroid 2011GV1 hovered into view. There’s no chance left. No hope. Just six precious months until impact. The economy spirals downward while crops rot in the fields. Churches and synagogues are packed. People all over the world are walking off the job—but not Hank Palace. He’s investigating a death by hanging in a city that sees a dozen suicides every week—except this one feels suspicious, and Palace is the only cop who cares.
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Not your regular mystery
- By Victor @ theAudiobookBlog dot com on 09-20-16
By: Ben H. Winters
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Full House
- By: Janet Evanovich
- Narrated by: Lorelei King
- Length: 13 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
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From Janet Evanovich, author of the best selling Stephanie Plum bounty hunter series, comes this romantic adventure tale written in the Plum tradition, teeming with fast-paced action, dysfunctional loveable characters, steamy sex, suspense, and lots of laughs.
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It's not Plum but it's a good story.
- By Brenda on 02-08-03
By: Janet Evanovich
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Burn
- By: Sean Doolittle
- Narrated by: Basil Sands
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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It's the middle of a sweltering late-summer heat wave in Los Angeles. In the nearby mountains, a seasonal wildfire burns out of control. If not for this fire, authorities might never have discovered wreckage of an Alfa Romeo convertible - or the body of the car's driver - in the dense underbrush at the bottom of Topanga Canyon. But when firefighters happen across the crash site while battling the nearby blaze, it's only a matter of time and basic forensics before the apparent accident is upgraded to homicide.
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Narrator
- By Coby on 06-16-21
By: Sean Doolittle
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Nickel Bay Nick
- By: Dean Pitchford
- Narrated by: Dean Pitchford
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Eleven-year-old Sam Brattle is already having the worst Christmas ever - his dad's bakery is going bankrupt and his mom is spending the holidays with her new family. To make things worse, Nickel Bay Nick, the anonymous Good Samaritan who leaves hundred dollar bills around Nickel Bay at Christmastime, is a no-show, so this year the rest of the town is as miserable as Sam. When he stumbles upon the secret identity of this mysterious do-gooder, Sam is stunned to learn that he might now be his town's only hope.
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Excellent!!
- By Canyon Girl on 03-16-17
By: Dean Pitchford
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Midnight Rambler
- By: James Swain
- Narrated by: Peter Jay Fernandez
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
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Years ago, South Florida cop Jack Carpenter beat up a murder suspect named Simon Skell, a dangerous predator with a penchant for playing the Rolling Stones' "Midnight Rambler" as he tortured young women. When Jack lost his temper, he lost his job and marriage, too; so as Skell's early release from prison draws near, the tarnished hero, now a specialist in missing-child cases, sees an opportunity to make things right.
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Not one of James Swain's best
- By Maryfrances on 12-04-07
By: James Swain
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Board Stiff
- An Elliot Lisbon Mystery
- By: Kendel Lynn
- Narrated by: Rachel Frawley
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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As director of the Ballantyne Foundation on Sea Pine Island, SC, Elliott Lisbon scratches her detective itch by performing discreet inquiries for Foundation donors. Usually nothing serious until Jane Hatting, Ballantyne board chair, is accused of murder. The Ballantyne's reputation tanks, Jane's headed to a jail cell, and Elliott's sexy ex is the new lieutenant in town. Armed with moxie and her Mini Coop, Elliott uncovers a trail of blackmail schemes, gambling debts, illicit affairs, and investment scams. But the closer she gets to the truth, the more treacherous her investigation.
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A strong start to a new cozy mystery series
- By Takeyabue on 02-15-14
By: Kendel Lynn
What listeners say about When Elves Attack
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Susan
- 11-06-11
I Don't Know about Joyous but Nutbars REALLY Fits!
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to read the reader reviews -- because I decide to disregard their advice. For instance, many reviewers suggested that a person totally new to the Serge A. Storms series of stories NOT start here. They said to start at the beginning, or at least listen to or read the first novel of the series before this book.
Well, I decided to ignore that advice and started here.
Other reviewers complained about the voice the narrator used for Serge. At first, it was a bit annoying, but after a short time I found that it really helped form a visual image of Serge in my mind much better than a less annoying voice would have. (In fact, I have since begun to listen (I'm just about halfway through) to Florida Roadkill and think the un-remarkable Serge voice there really does not help form a mental image of the character.)
Okay, this story does not include nearly as much Florida history and not as many crazy Floridians as the first novel of the series, but this book might fit into the series the same way the "between the Plums" fit into Janet Evanovitch's Stephanie Plum novels. It really doesn't matter. When Elves Attack is funny and quirky and made me "KNOW" I have to listen to the entire series as soon as possible. So, as soon as the speakers on my laptop spit out "We hope you enjoyed this book," I was at the Audible website to get Florida Roadkill. As soon as part one finished downloading, I started it playing.
It's going to be very hard to wait for credits to arrive to complete the collection. But ... my local public library doesn't have any of the Serge A. Storms novels available in audio, so ... **sigh** I'll have to be patient.
While I am waiting, I think I will listen to When Elves Attack at least one more time. :-)
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14 people found this helpful
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- Kathleen Duncan
- 11-20-23
Fun Holiday Reading for Serge Fans
I have a few books I listen to every holiday season. I'm a big fan of Tim Dorsey and love the Serge Storm series. This playful excursion into the wacky Florida world is the perfect starting point for my Holiday Book Playlist, Next up David Sedaris.
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- Robin
- 07-02-17
hysterical!!
Loved it!! My 1st Serge bk, &will now go start series in order. Very amusing in a Murdoch (from A Team) crossed w/Dortmunder (from Donald Westlake series) & a twist of Hitman (from Block series)....with definate heavy sprinkles of Plum series (Evanivich).....its going 2b one of those series I listen 2again &again.
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- Elizabeth
- 11-16-11
Gotta love Tim Dorsey
A good story with enough wit and interesting twists and turns to be a fun read.
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3 people found this helpful
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- john merchant
- 03-07-22
Serge is at it again.
This book series should be mandatory listening for anyone considering relocating to Florida.
Florida isn't the shiny, happy postcard crap that gets sent to Sheboygan on a postcard. The seedy underbelly is alive and well and part of what makes this state spectacular. The author is fully aware of this and uses his experience as a Tampa journalist for inspiration. Some of the capers are far-fetched; but in Florida, they're not out of the realm of possibility.
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- Marg S
- 05-04-12
Serge
Any additional comments?
I love this author and the performance was great. Only problem is, I just can't get over the Joe Peschi voice of Serge.
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3 people found this helpful
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- Sonja Cassandra Perdue
- 06-08-21
I've listened to every single one.
Now that says a lot about me. Listened to the newer ones years back and then started from the beginning here.
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- Jere
- 01-15-12
Serge does the holidays
Wow! Tim Dorsey did it again. Non-stop action and hijinks that only Serge and Coleman can do, and in their own way. Many of the quirky characters from Serge's past are here to celebrate the season with this somewhat heartwarming holiday tale. My only complaint is that our time spent with Serge is just not long enough.
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4 people found this helpful
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- Tiffany
- 07-18-14
Serge is my FAVORITE killer of all time!
Would you consider the audio edition of When Elves Attack to be better than the print version?
Wow, that's a hard one. This is actually the first Tim Dorsey novel that I haven't read, but listened to. I had a much different idea of what Serge would sound like, but I liked his interpretation of Serge.
What did you like best about this story?
The craziness that is Serge A. Storms, as always. Who knew someone could create such a loveable psychopath!
What about Oliver Wyman’s performance did you like?
The use of voices and the wide range he was able to cover. Very talented and enthusiastic.
Who was the most memorable character of When Elves Attack and why?
The G-Unit. How they would get rid of the blonde news anchors, priceless! I aspire to be them when I grow up.
Any additional comments?
Get as much Tim Dorsey as you can into your life. You'll thank me later.
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- John
- 11-27-11
A Serge Storms treat for the Holidays!
Serge and Coleman are back for a special little holiday treat! What else is there to say? It's psychopathic vigilante Serge Storms and substance abuse sidekick Coleman putting their particular brand of bizarre spin on the season. Followers of Tim Dorsey's tales will remember Jim and Martha Davenport from Triggerfish Twist and Atomic Lobster. Alas, the poor couple are (again) thrown in the middle of a not-so-fictional modern day economic mess. Serge to the rescue, along with help from the G-Unit Grannies, to sort it all out, eliminate bad guys as only Serge can, and triumph for a Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!
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3 people found this helpful