When Elves Attack
A Joyous Christmas Greeting from the Criminal Nutbars of the Sunshine State
Failed to add items
Add to Cart failed.
Add to Wish List failed.
Remove from wishlist failed.
Adding to library failed
Follow podcast failed
Unfollow podcast failed
Get 2 free audiobooks during trial.
Buy for $17.09
No default payment method selected.
We are sorry. We are not allowed to sell this product with the selected payment method
-
Narrated by:
-
Oliver Wyman
-
By:
-
Tim Dorsey
About this listen
I’m dreaming of a Serge Christmas...
Palm trees with twinkle lights...
Santa’s big belly protruding over a neon Speedo....
It’s ho, ho, ho time in this hilarious and wacky Florida holiday tale, featuring bighearted psychopath Serge Storms and his sidekick, Coleman. Like Santa, Serge knows who’s been naughty and who’s been nice. Few can give with the generosity and creativity of Serge, and as December 24 rolls around, he is filling up the Serge sleigh with an unforgettable bag of presents.
But before that, it’s all a big free-range Christmas office party, where Serge will be spreading his special cheer. And there’s that last-minute go-for-broke spree at the mall (just beware of those attacking elves - they bite). While you’re there, skip the lame photo on Santa’s lap - Serge will give you a lap ride you’ll never forget. As for that addled elf Coleman, there’s nothing like a white Christmas. Let it snow!
So grab a six-pack, spike the eggnog, and hit the dunes on the beach as Serge and Coleman roast some nuts on an open fire and prove that reindeer really do know how to fly!
©2011 Tim Dorsey (P)2011 HarperCollinsPublishersListeners also enjoyed...
-
Florida Roadkill
- By: Tim Dorsey
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals - and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs... and the suitcase.
-
-
Its a Mad Mad Mad Florida!
- By Mark on 09-26-11
By: Tim Dorsey
-
Double Whammy
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A twisted tale of murder in the world of big-stakes bass fishing tournaments. Filled with ex-wives, evangelists, and an armed pit-bull, this is a story that could only be concocted by Carl Hiaasen, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, New York Times best-selling author, and czar of Florida noir fiction.
-
-
Not for dog lovers
- By Tonette on 01-21-08
By: Carl Hiaasen
-
Bad Monkey
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Andrew Yancy—late of the Miami Police and soon-to-be-late of the Monroe County sheriff’s office—has a human arm in his freezer. There’s a logical (Hiaasenian) explanation for that, but not for how and why it parted from its shadowy owner. Yancy thinks the boating-accident/shark-luncheon explanation is full of holes, and if he can prove murder, the sheriff might rescue him from his grisly Health Inspector gig (it’s not called the roach patrol for nothing).
-
-
Flame-out fail
- By Lars on 06-16-13
By: Carl Hiaasen
-
Attempted Vampirism: Publisher's Pack
- Attempted Vampirism, Books 1-2
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 17 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.
-
-
Loved it!
- By swyrlgirl on 01-05-21
By: L. G. Estrella
-
Razor Girl
- A Novel
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: John Rubinstein
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Lane Coolman's car is bashed from behind on the road to the Florida Keys, what appears to be an ordinary accident is anything but (this is Hiaasen!). Behind the wheel of the other car is Merry Mansfield - the eponymous Razor Girl - and the crash scam is only the beginning of events that spiral crazily out of control while unleashing some of the wildest characters Hiaasen has ever set loose.
-
-
Best book this year!
- By green ice cream garden on 09-19-16
By: Carl Hiaasen
-
Florida Man
- By: Mike Baron
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gary Duba’s having a bad day. There’s a snake in his toilet, a rabid raccoon in the yard, and his girl Krystal’s in jail for getting naked at a Waffle House and licking the manager. Gary’s a redneck living in a trailer by the swamp. But he’s got dreams, big dreams. Every time he tries to get ahead, fate deals him a low blow. But then he gets lucky... With his best friend, Floyd, Gary sets out to sell his prized Barry Bonds rookie card to raise the $500 needed for bail. But things always find a way of getting out of hand.
-
-
Was this intended to be funny?
- By J. smith on 08-25-20
By: Mike Baron
-
Florida Roadkill
- By: Tim Dorsey
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals - and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs... and the suitcase.
-
-
Its a Mad Mad Mad Florida!
- By Mark on 09-26-11
By: Tim Dorsey
-
Double Whammy
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 13 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A twisted tale of murder in the world of big-stakes bass fishing tournaments. Filled with ex-wives, evangelists, and an armed pit-bull, this is a story that could only be concocted by Carl Hiaasen, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist, New York Times best-selling author, and czar of Florida noir fiction.
-
-
Not for dog lovers
- By Tonette on 01-21-08
By: Carl Hiaasen
-
Bad Monkey
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Arte Johnson
- Length: 11 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Andrew Yancy—late of the Miami Police and soon-to-be-late of the Monroe County sheriff’s office—has a human arm in his freezer. There’s a logical (Hiaasenian) explanation for that, but not for how and why it parted from its shadowy owner. Yancy thinks the boating-accident/shark-luncheon explanation is full of holes, and if he can prove murder, the sheriff might rescue him from his grisly Health Inspector gig (it’s not called the roach patrol for nothing).
-
-
Flame-out fail
- By Lars on 06-16-13
By: Carl Hiaasen
-
Attempted Vampirism: Publisher's Pack
- Attempted Vampirism, Books 1-2
- By: L. G. Estrella
- Narrated by: Joel Froomkin
- Length: 17 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Contains books one and two of the Attempted Vampirism series: Attempted Vampirism and Attempted Adventuring.
-
-
Loved it!
- By swyrlgirl on 01-05-21
By: L. G. Estrella
-
Razor Girl
- A Novel
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: John Rubinstein
- Length: 12 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Lane Coolman's car is bashed from behind on the road to the Florida Keys, what appears to be an ordinary accident is anything but (this is Hiaasen!). Behind the wheel of the other car is Merry Mansfield - the eponymous Razor Girl - and the crash scam is only the beginning of events that spiral crazily out of control while unleashing some of the wildest characters Hiaasen has ever set loose.
-
-
Best book this year!
- By green ice cream garden on 09-19-16
By: Carl Hiaasen
-
Florida Man
- By: Mike Baron
- Narrated by: R.C. Bray
- Length: 9 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Gary Duba’s having a bad day. There’s a snake in his toilet, a rabid raccoon in the yard, and his girl Krystal’s in jail for getting naked at a Waffle House and licking the manager. Gary’s a redneck living in a trailer by the swamp. But he’s got dreams, big dreams. Every time he tries to get ahead, fate deals him a low blow. But then he gets lucky... With his best friend, Floyd, Gary sets out to sell his prized Barry Bonds rookie card to raise the $500 needed for bail. But things always find a way of getting out of hand.
-
-
Was this intended to be funny?
- By J. smith on 08-25-20
By: Mike Baron
-
Swamp Story
- A Novel
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 7 hrs and 54 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Jesse Braddock is trapped in a tiny cabin deep in the Everglades with her infant daughter and her ex-boyfriend, a wannabe reality TV star who turned out to be a lot prettier on the outside than on the inside. Broke and desperate for a way out, Jesse stumbles across a long-lost treasure, which could solve all her problems—if she can figure out how to keep it. The problem is some very bad men are also looking for the treasure, and they know Jesse has it.
-
-
Don’t waste your credit
- By Cat Mom on 05-13-23
By: Dave Barry
-
Insane City
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dave Barry
- Length: 7 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Seth Weinstein always knew Tina was way, way, way out of his league. Which is why he’s still astonished that he’s on a plane heading for their wedding in Florida. The Groom Posse has already pulled an airport prank on him - and he’s survived! It should be easy going from now on. But Seth has absolutely no idea what he’s about to get into. A simple drink or two with the boys sparks a series of events that will pit Seth and his friends against everything and everyone imaginable.
-
-
Fun Story, needs a different narrator.
- By Mariah on 01-31-13
By: Dave Barry
-
Nature Girl
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Lee Adams
- Length: 11 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Honey Santana, impassioned, willful, possibly bipolar, self-proclaimed "queen of lost causes", has a scheme to help rid the world of irresponsibility, indifference, and dinnertime sales calls. She's taking rude, gullible Relentless, Inc., telemarketer Boyd Shreave and his less-than-enthusiastic mistress, Eugenie, into the wilderness of Florida's Ten Thousand Islands for a gentle lesson in civility. What she doesn't know is that she's being followed by her Honey-obsessed former employer.
-
-
Sample first!
- By Michael on 11-25-06
By: Carl Hiaasen
-
Big Trouble
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 7 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A chain of events that will change the lives of each and every character will leave some of them wiser, some of them deader, and some of them definitely looking for a new line of work. With a wicked wit, razor-sharp observations, rich characters, and a plot with more twists than the Inland Waterway, Dave Barry makes his debut a complete and utter triumph.
-
-
Classic Barry at his Best
- By Scott on 09-18-08
By: Dave Barry
-
Lucky You
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 12 hrs and 2 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Grange, Florida, is famous for its miracles - the weeping fiberglass Madonna, the Road-Stain Jesus, the stigmata man. And now it has JoLayne Lucks, unlikely winner of the state lottery. Unfortunately, JoLayne's winning ticket isn't the only one. The other belongs to Bodean Gazzer and his raunchy sidekick, Chub, who believe they're entitled to the whole $28 million jackpot. And they need it quickly, to start their own underground militia before NATO troops invade America. But JoLayne Lucks has her own plans for the Lotto money - an Eden-like forest in Grange must be saved from strip-malling.
-
-
Not Hiaasen's best work
- By Jimmy on 06-18-13
By: Carl Hiaasen
-
Chomp
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: James Van Der Beek
- Length: 6 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
When Wahoo Cray’s dad - a professional animal wrangler - takes a job with a reality TV show called Expedition Survival!, Wahoo figures he'll have to do a bit of wrangling himself to keep his father from killing Derek Badger, the show's inept and egotistical star. But the job keeps getting more complicated: Derek Badger insists on using wild animals for his stunts; and Wahoo's acquired a shadow named Tuna - a girl who's sporting a shiner courtesy of her father and needs a place to hide out.
-
-
Performance
- By Janet on 04-21-12
By: Carl Hiaasen
-
Tricky Business
- By: Dave Barry
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 8 hrs and 11 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
The Extravaganza of the Seas is a 5,000 ton cash cow, a top-heavy tub whose sole function is to carry gamblers three miles from the Florida coast, take their money, then bring them back so they can find more money.
-
-
A warning
- By Mike From Mesa on 05-05-14
By: Dave Barry
-
Basket Case
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: George Newbern
- Length: 10 hrs and 10 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Once a hotshot investigative reporter, Jack Tagger now bangs out obituaries for a South Florida daily, "plotting to resurrect my newspaper career by yoking my byline to some famous stiff". Jimmy Stoma, the infamous front man of Jimmy and the Slut Puppies, dead in a fishy-smelling scuba "accident", might be the stiff of Jack’s dreams - if only he can figure out what happened.
-
-
My fav Hiaasen book
- By Karen on 11-28-16
By: Carl Hiaasen
-
Scat
- By: Carl Hiaasen
- Narrated by: Edward Asner
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Carl Hiaasen takes us deep in the Everglades with an eccentric eco-avenger, a ticked-off panther, and two kids on a mission to find their missing teacher. Florida - where the animals are wild and the people are wilder! Bunny Starch, the most feared biology teacher ever, is missing. She disappeared after a school field trip to Black Vine Swamp. And, to be honest, the kids in her class are relieved. But when the principal tries to tell the students that Mrs. Starch has been called away on a "family emergency", Nick and Marta just don't buy it.
-
-
not just a kids book
- By Vicky on 07-05-09
By: Carl Hiaasen
-
Florida Straits
- A Key West Mystery, Book 1
- By: Laurence Shames
- Narrated by: Richard Ferrone
- Length: 9 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In the grand tradition of Elmore Leonard, Laurence Shames creates an outrageous heavyweight thriller that’s heavy on atmosphere and action. Joey Goldman is a low-level New York hustler. He’s taking a working vacation in South Florida and looking to score big with a time-share scam. His half brother Gino Delgatto is a man in need of a fall guy. When they meet in Key West, the term dysfunctional family takes on a new meaning. Will one of them succeed? Or will the Miami mob find an eye-popping way to dispose of them both?
-
-
Florida Funny
- By stephen on 08-20-16
By: Laurence Shames
-
Sanibel Flats
- Doc Ford #1
- By: Randy White
- Narrated by: Dick Hill
- Length: 12 hrs and 8 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Its cool gulf breezes lured him from a life of danger. Its dark undercurrents threatened to destroy him. After 10 years of living life on the edge, it was hard for Doc Ford to get that addiction to danger out of his system. But spending each day watching the sun melt into Dinkins Bay and the moon rise over the mangrove trees, cooking dinner for his beautiful neighbor, and dispensing advice to the locals over a cold beer lulled him into letting his guard down.
-
-
Author seems to have a sexual double standard.
- By ShySusan on 02-01-11
By: Randy White
-
Theft of Swords
- Riyria Revelations, Volume 1
- By: Michael J. Sullivan
- Narrated by: Tim Gerard Reynolds
- Length: 22 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Acclaimed author Michael J. Sullivan created instant best sellers with his spellbinding Riyria Revelations series. This first volume introduces Royce Melborn and Hadrian Blackwater, two enterprising thieves who end up running for their lives when they’re framed for the death of the king. Trapped in a conspiracy bigger than they can imagine, their only hope is unraveling an ancient mystery - before it’s too late.
-
-
Two books in one - keep listening!!
- By Magpie on 08-21-12
Related to this topic
-
The Cleanup
- By: Sean Doolittle
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Matthew Worth is a mess. Somewhere between a good cop and a bad screwup, he botched a marriage and a career. His fellow officers think he’s a joke. His commanders are tired of cutting him breaks. Even his wife has left him for a flashy homicide detective. Busted to night patrol at a robbery-prone Omaha supermarket, Worth is doing time, wearing his uniform and asking shoppers if they want paper or plastic. If that isn’t enough, he suspects he might be falling for Gwen, the shy checkout girl who may be an even bigger mess than he is. It couldn’t get any worse. Until it does.
-
-
A Really Good Modern American Noir Crime Novel
- By Frank Donnelly on 04-23-20
By: Sean Doolittle
-
Florida Roadkill
- By: Tim Dorsey
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals - and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs... and the suitcase.
-
-
Its a Mad Mad Mad Florida!
- By Mark on 09-26-11
By: Tim Dorsey
-
Paw Enforcement
- K9, Book 1
- By: Diane Kelly
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Officer Luz is lucky she still has a job after tasering a male colleague where it counts the most. Sure, he had it coming - which is why the police chief is giving Megan a second chance. The catch? Her new partner can't carry a gun, can't drive a cruiser, and can't recite the Miranda Rights. Because her new partner is a big furry police dog. So that's what the chief meant when he called Megan's partner a real bitch...With Brigit out on the beat, Megan is writing up enough tickets to wallpaper the whole station.
-
-
Not so funny
- By L J on 09-27-14
By: Diane Kelly
-
Cash City
- By: Jonathan Fredrick
- Narrated by: Ari Fliakos
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It is an obsession that has haunted Nick Malick for seven years - to avenge the murder of his young son. In his gut Malick knows who did it. But the psychopath is in prison for another crime, scheduled to be released in a year. All Malick has to do is wait...and survive.
-
-
Great New Series
- By Lia on 08-21-17
-
The Drowning Game
- A Novel
- By: LS Hawker
- Narrated by: Amanda Dolan, Paul Woodson
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
They said she was armed. They said she was dangerous. They were right. Petty Moshen spent 18 years of her life as a prisoner in her own home, training with military precision for everything, ready for anything. She can disarm, dismember, and kill - and now, for the first time ever, she is free.
-
-
Gripping Thriller!
- By NH on 08-05-16
By: LS Hawker
-
A Tap on the Window
- By: Linwood Barclay
- Narrated by: Mark Zeisler
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
International best-selling author Linwood Barclay delivers pulse-pounding suspense that puts him among the masters of the genre. A Tap on the Window finds private investigator Cal Weaver making an ill-advised decision to pick up a young female hitchhiker who reminds him of his dead son. But something is off about the girl, and Cal is soon drawn into a host of nightmarish secrets.
-
-
5 Stars for Tap on the Window
- By shelley on 04-16-14
By: Linwood Barclay
-
The Cleanup
- By: Sean Doolittle
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 7 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Matthew Worth is a mess. Somewhere between a good cop and a bad screwup, he botched a marriage and a career. His fellow officers think he’s a joke. His commanders are tired of cutting him breaks. Even his wife has left him for a flashy homicide detective. Busted to night patrol at a robbery-prone Omaha supermarket, Worth is doing time, wearing his uniform and asking shoppers if they want paper or plastic. If that isn’t enough, he suspects he might be falling for Gwen, the shy checkout girl who may be an even bigger mess than he is. It couldn’t get any worse. Until it does.
-
-
A Really Good Modern American Noir Crime Novel
- By Frank Donnelly on 04-23-20
By: Sean Doolittle
-
Florida Roadkill
- By: Tim Dorsey
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals - and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs... and the suitcase.
-
-
Its a Mad Mad Mad Florida!
- By Mark on 09-26-11
By: Tim Dorsey
-
Paw Enforcement
- K9, Book 1
- By: Diane Kelly
- Narrated by: Coleen Marlo
- Length: 10 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Officer Luz is lucky she still has a job after tasering a male colleague where it counts the most. Sure, he had it coming - which is why the police chief is giving Megan a second chance. The catch? Her new partner can't carry a gun, can't drive a cruiser, and can't recite the Miranda Rights. Because her new partner is a big furry police dog. So that's what the chief meant when he called Megan's partner a real bitch...With Brigit out on the beat, Megan is writing up enough tickets to wallpaper the whole station.
-
-
Not so funny
- By L J on 09-27-14
By: Diane Kelly
-
Cash City
- By: Jonathan Fredrick
- Narrated by: Ari Fliakos
- Length: 9 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It is an obsession that has haunted Nick Malick for seven years - to avenge the murder of his young son. In his gut Malick knows who did it. But the psychopath is in prison for another crime, scheduled to be released in a year. All Malick has to do is wait...and survive.
-
-
Great New Series
- By Lia on 08-21-17
-
The Drowning Game
- A Novel
- By: LS Hawker
- Narrated by: Amanda Dolan, Paul Woodson
- Length: 9 hrs and 55 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
They said she was armed. They said she was dangerous. They were right. Petty Moshen spent 18 years of her life as a prisoner in her own home, training with military precision for everything, ready for anything. She can disarm, dismember, and kill - and now, for the first time ever, she is free.
-
-
Gripping Thriller!
- By NH on 08-05-16
By: LS Hawker
-
A Tap on the Window
- By: Linwood Barclay
- Narrated by: Mark Zeisler
- Length: 12 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
International best-selling author Linwood Barclay delivers pulse-pounding suspense that puts him among the masters of the genre. A Tap on the Window finds private investigator Cal Weaver making an ill-advised decision to pick up a young female hitchhiker who reminds him of his dead son. But something is off about the girl, and Cal is soon drawn into a host of nightmarish secrets.
-
-
5 Stars for Tap on the Window
- By shelley on 04-16-14
By: Linwood Barclay
-
Burn Baby Burn
- By: Meg Medina
- Narrated by: Marisol Ramirez
- Length: 7 hrs and 49 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Nora Lopez is 17 during the infamous New York summer of 1977, when the city is besieged by arson, a massive blackout, and a serial killer named Son of Sam who shoots young women on the streets. Nora's family life isn't going so well either: her bullying brother, Hector, is growing more threatening by the day, her mother is helpless and falling behind on the rent, and her father calls only on holidays. All Nora wants is to turn 17 and be on her own.
-
-
Couldn't finish listening to this book.
- By Mathis on 12-03-17
By: Meg Medina
-
Past Crimes
- A Van Shaw Novel
- By: Glen Erik Hamilton
- Narrated by: Jeff Harding
- Length: 10 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From the time he was six years old, Van Shaw was raised by his Irish immigrant grandfather, Donovan, to be a thief - to boost cars, beat security alarms, crack safes, and burglarize businesses. But at 18 Dono's namesake and protégé suddenly broke all ties to that life and the people in it. Van escaped into the military, serving as an elite army ranger in Iraq and Afghanistan. Now, after ten years of silence, Dono has asked his grandson to come home to Seattle.
-
-
15 Stars! Okay?
- By Ted on 03-06-16
-
Lamentation
- By: Joe Clifford
- Narrated by: Timothy McKean
- Length: 6 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In a frigid New Hampshire winter, Jay Porter is trying to eke out a living and maintain some semblance of a relationship with his former girlfriend and their two-year-old son. When he receives an urgent call that Chris, his drug-addicted brother, is being questioned by the sheriff about his missing junkie business partner, Jay feels obliged to come to his rescue. After Jay negotiates his brother's release from the county jail, Chris disappears into the night.
-
-
Excellent Listen!
- By Jason on 08-19-15
By: Joe Clifford
-
In the Bleak Midwinter
- By: Julia Spencer-Fleming
- Narrated by: Suzanne Toren
- Length: 12 hrs and 58 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Clare Fergusson, St. Alban's new priest, fits like a square peg in the conservative Episcopal parish at Miller's Kill, New York. She is not just a "lady"; she's a tough ex-Army chopper pilot, and nobody's fool. Then a newborn infant left at the church door brings her together with the town's police chief, Russ Van Alstyne, who's also ex-Army and a cynical good shepherd for the stray sheep of his hometown.
-
-
Ice Cold Complex Small Town Police Procedural/Mystery
- By Sara on 12-27-14
-
Tilt-a-Whirl
- John Ceepak, Book 1
- By: Chris Grabenstein
- Narrated by: Jeff Woodman
- Length: 8 hrs and 18 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
There isn't much fun in the sun when a billionaire real estate tycoon is found murdered on the Tilt-a-Whirl at a seedy seaside amusement park in the otherwise quiet summer tourist town of Sea Haven. John Ceepak, a former MP just back from Iraq, has just joined the Sea Haven police department. The job offer came from an old Army buddy who hoped to give Ceepak at least a summer's worth of rest and relaxation to help him forget the horrors of war. Instead, Ceepak will head up the murder investigation.
-
-
All I can say is WOW!
- By Catherine J. Pondozzi on 08-06-13
-
Every Crooked Nanny
- A Callahan Garrity Mystery, Book 1
- By: Mary Kay Andrews
- Narrated by: Hillary Huber
- Length: 9 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
After 10 years of cleaning up the dirt on Atlanta's streets, Callahan Garrity is trading in her badge for a broom and a staff of house cleaners. But, though the uniform is a little different, Callahan soon finds herself right back in the middle of a mystery when a client's pretty, pious 19-year-old nanny is gone...along with the jewelry, silver, and a few rather sensitive real estate documents. Before she knows it, the meticulous Callahan is up to her elbows in a case involving illicit love triangles, crooked business deals, long-distance scams, and a dead body.
-
-
For light entertainment - Also reviews explained
- By Chicago Laura on 07-05-13
By: Mary Kay Andrews
-
The Last Policeman
- The Last Policeman, Book 1
- By: Ben H. Winters
- Narrated by: Peter Berkrot
- Length: 8 hrs and 20 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
What’s the point in solving murders if we’re all going to die soon, anyway? Detective Hank Palace has faced this question ever since asteroid 2011GV1 hovered into view. There’s no chance left. No hope. Just six precious months until impact. The economy spirals downward while crops rot in the fields. Churches and synagogues are packed. People all over the world are walking off the job—but not Hank Palace. He’s investigating a death by hanging in a city that sees a dozen suicides every week—except this one feels suspicious, and Palace is the only cop who cares.
-
-
Not your regular mystery
- By Victor @ theAudiobookBlog dot com on 09-20-16
By: Ben H. Winters
-
Full House
- By: Janet Evanovich
- Narrated by: Lorelei King
- Length: 13 hrs and 52 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
From Janet Evanovich, author of the best selling Stephanie Plum bounty hunter series, comes this romantic adventure tale written in the Plum tradition, teeming with fast-paced action, dysfunctional loveable characters, steamy sex, suspense, and lots of laughs.
-
-
It's not Plum but it's a good story.
- By Brenda on 02-08-03
By: Janet Evanovich
-
Burn
- By: Sean Doolittle
- Narrated by: Basil Sands
- Length: 9 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It's the middle of a sweltering late-summer heat wave in Los Angeles. In the nearby mountains, a seasonal wildfire burns out of control. If not for this fire, authorities might never have discovered wreckage of an Alfa Romeo convertible - or the body of the car's driver - in the dense underbrush at the bottom of Topanga Canyon. But when firefighters happen across the crash site while battling the nearby blaze, it's only a matter of time and basic forensics before the apparent accident is upgraded to homicide.
-
-
Narrator
- By Coby on 06-16-21
By: Sean Doolittle
-
Nickel Bay Nick
- By: Dean Pitchford
- Narrated by: Dean Pitchford
- Length: 6 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Eleven-year-old Sam Brattle is already having the worst Christmas ever - his dad's bakery is going bankrupt and his mom is spending the holidays with her new family. To make things worse, Nickel Bay Nick, the anonymous Good Samaritan who leaves hundred dollar bills around Nickel Bay at Christmastime, is a no-show, so this year the rest of the town is as miserable as Sam. When he stumbles upon the secret identity of this mysterious do-gooder, Sam is stunned to learn that he might now be his town's only hope.
-
-
Excellent!!
- By Canyon Girl on 03-16-17
By: Dean Pitchford
-
Midnight Rambler
- By: James Swain
- Narrated by: Peter Jay Fernandez
- Length: 9 hrs and 45 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Years ago, South Florida cop Jack Carpenter beat up a murder suspect named Simon Skell, a dangerous predator with a penchant for playing the Rolling Stones' "Midnight Rambler" as he tortured young women. When Jack lost his temper, he lost his job and marriage, too; so as Skell's early release from prison draws near, the tarnished hero, now a specialist in missing-child cases, sees an opportunity to make things right.
-
-
Not one of James Swain's best
- By Maryfrances on 12-04-07
By: James Swain
-
Board Stiff
- An Elliot Lisbon Mystery
- By: Kendel Lynn
- Narrated by: Rachel Frawley
- Length: 9 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
As director of the Ballantyne Foundation on Sea Pine Island, SC, Elliott Lisbon scratches her detective itch by performing discreet inquiries for Foundation donors. Usually nothing serious until Jane Hatting, Ballantyne board chair, is accused of murder. The Ballantyne's reputation tanks, Jane's headed to a jail cell, and Elliott's sexy ex is the new lieutenant in town. Armed with moxie and her Mini Coop, Elliott uncovers a trail of blackmail schemes, gambling debts, illicit affairs, and investment scams. But the closer she gets to the truth, the more treacherous her investigation.
-
-
A strong start to a new cozy mystery series
- By Takeyabue on 02-15-14
By: Kendel Lynn
People who viewed this also viewed...
-
Florida Roadkill
- By: Tim Dorsey
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals - and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs... and the suitcase.
-
-
Its a Mad Mad Mad Florida!
- By Mark on 09-26-11
By: Tim Dorsey
-
Practical Demonkeeping
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Christopher Moore's ingenious debut novel, we meet one of the most memorably mismatched pairs in the annals of literature. The good-looking one is one-hundred-year-old ex-seminarian and "roads" scholar Travis O'Hearn. The green one is Catch, a demon with a nasty habit of eating most of the people he meets.
-
-
I named my cat after the demon Catch
- By colleen on 08-24-11
-
The Jolliest Bunch
- Unhinged Holiday Stories
- By: Danny Pellegrino
- Narrated by: Danny Pellegrino
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For many families, the holiday season is—in a word—unhinged. In no family is that more true than in Danny Pellegrino’s, beloved podcast host of Everything Iconic and bestselling author. Inappropriately improvised monologues at the children's Christmas pageant, presents that land someone in the emergency room, or just sitting on the absolute roller coaster that is a Hallmark movie marathon, the holidays are a strange and magical time in the Pellegrino household. And nobody knows this better than Danny.
-
-
The over use of the F*** word in hopes of being funny.
- By Jennifer Forester on 12-19-24
By: Danny Pellegrino
-
John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
-
-
Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
-
The Christmas Bookshop
- A Novel
- By: Jenny Colgan
- Narrated by: Eilidh Beaton
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Laid off from her department store job, Carmen has perilously little cash and few options. The prospect of spending Christmas with her perfect sister Sofia, in Sofia’s perfect house with her perfect children and her perfectly ordered yuppie life, does not appeal. Frankly, Sofia doesn’t exactly want her prickly sister Carmen there, either. But Sofia has yet another baby on the way, a mother desperate to see her daughters get along, and a client who needs help revitalizing his shabby old bookshop. So Carmen moves in and takes the job.
-
-
Irritating and filthy language
- By AmazonPrimeCustomer2023 on 12-28-21
By: Jenny Colgan
-
How My Neighbor Stole Christmas
- By: Meghan Quinn
- Narrated by: Vanessa Edwin, J.F. Harding, Robert Hatchet, and others
- Length: 13 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Living in a year around Christmas town has its drawbacks. The caroling, the decorations, the insanely cheery spirit, it never disappears. It's why I like to hibernate away in my cave - I mean housekeeping a healthy distance from the holly jolly spirits. And all was going according to plan until my nemesis, Storee Taylor, moved in next door to care for her Aunt Cindy. Without blinking, she turned my simple world into a real nightmare-before-Christmas, especially when she decided to enter the town Christmas Kringle contest - which she was determined to win.
-
-
Anything But Christian
- By Anonymous User on 11-08-24
By: Meghan Quinn
-
Florida Roadkill
- By: Tim Dorsey
- Narrated by: George Wilson
- Length: 10 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Sunshine State trivia buff Serge A. Storms loves eliminating jerks and pests. His drug-addled partner Coleman loves cartoons. Hot stripper Sharon Rhodes loves cocaine, especially when purchased with rich dead men's money. On the other hand, there's Sean and David, who love fishing and are kind to animals - and who are about to cross paths with a suitcase filled with $5 million in stolen insurance money. Serge wants the suitcase. Sharon wants the suitcase. Coleman wants more drugs... and the suitcase.
-
-
Its a Mad Mad Mad Florida!
- By Mark on 09-26-11
By: Tim Dorsey
-
Practical Demonkeeping
- By: Christopher Moore
- Narrated by: Oliver Wyman
- Length: 7 hrs and 31 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In Christopher Moore's ingenious debut novel, we meet one of the most memorably mismatched pairs in the annals of literature. The good-looking one is one-hundred-year-old ex-seminarian and "roads" scholar Travis O'Hearn. The green one is Catch, a demon with a nasty habit of eating most of the people he meets.
-
-
I named my cat after the demon Catch
- By colleen on 08-24-11
-
The Jolliest Bunch
- Unhinged Holiday Stories
- By: Danny Pellegrino
- Narrated by: Danny Pellegrino
- Length: 6 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For many families, the holiday season is—in a word—unhinged. In no family is that more true than in Danny Pellegrino’s, beloved podcast host of Everything Iconic and bestselling author. Inappropriately improvised monologues at the children's Christmas pageant, presents that land someone in the emergency room, or just sitting on the absolute roller coaster that is a Hallmark movie marathon, the holidays are a strange and magical time in the Pellegrino household. And nobody knows this better than Danny.
-
-
The over use of the F*** word in hopes of being funny.
- By Jennifer Forester on 12-19-24
By: Danny Pellegrino
-
John Dies at the End
- By: David Wong
- Narrated by: Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 14 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
STOP. You should not have touched this flyer with your bare hands. NO, don't put it down. It's too late. They're watching you. My name is David Wong. My best friend is John. Those names are fake. You might want to change yours. You may not want to know about the things you'll read on these pages, about the sauce, about Korrok, about the invasion, and the future. But it's too late. You touched the book. You're in the game. You're under the eye. The only defense is knowledge. You need to read this book, to the end. Even the part with the bratwurst. Why?
-
-
Vulgar Funny. 4.95 Sale Win.
- By C Yohe on 11-19-12
By: David Wong
-
The Christmas Bookshop
- A Novel
- By: Jenny Colgan
- Narrated by: Eilidh Beaton
- Length: 11 hrs and 23 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Laid off from her department store job, Carmen has perilously little cash and few options. The prospect of spending Christmas with her perfect sister Sofia, in Sofia’s perfect house with her perfect children and her perfectly ordered yuppie life, does not appeal. Frankly, Sofia doesn’t exactly want her prickly sister Carmen there, either. But Sofia has yet another baby on the way, a mother desperate to see her daughters get along, and a client who needs help revitalizing his shabby old bookshop. So Carmen moves in and takes the job.
-
-
Irritating and filthy language
- By AmazonPrimeCustomer2023 on 12-28-21
By: Jenny Colgan
-
How My Neighbor Stole Christmas
- By: Meghan Quinn
- Narrated by: Vanessa Edwin, J.F. Harding, Robert Hatchet, and others
- Length: 13 hrs and 26 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
Living in a year around Christmas town has its drawbacks. The caroling, the decorations, the insanely cheery spirit, it never disappears. It's why I like to hibernate away in my cave - I mean housekeeping a healthy distance from the holly jolly spirits. And all was going according to plan until my nemesis, Storee Taylor, moved in next door to care for her Aunt Cindy. Without blinking, she turned my simple world into a real nightmare-before-Christmas, especially when she decided to enter the town Christmas Kringle contest - which she was determined to win.
-
-
Anything But Christian
- By Anonymous User on 11-08-24
By: Meghan Quinn
What listeners say about When Elves Attack
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Susan
- 11-06-11
I Don't Know about Joyous but Nutbars REALLY Fits!
Sometimes I wonder why I even bother to read the reader reviews -- because I decide to disregard their advice. For instance, many reviewers suggested that a person totally new to the Serge A. Storms series of stories NOT start here. They said to start at the beginning, or at least listen to or read the first novel of the series before this book.
Well, I decided to ignore that advice and started here.
Other reviewers complained about the voice the narrator used for Serge. At first, it was a bit annoying, but after a short time I found that it really helped form a visual image of Serge in my mind much better than a less annoying voice would have. (In fact, I have since begun to listen (I'm just about halfway through) to Florida Roadkill and think the un-remarkable Serge voice there really does not help form a mental image of the character.)
Okay, this story does not include nearly as much Florida history and not as many crazy Floridians as the first novel of the series, but this book might fit into the series the same way the "between the Plums" fit into Janet Evanovitch's Stephanie Plum novels. It really doesn't matter. When Elves Attack is funny and quirky and made me "KNOW" I have to listen to the entire series as soon as possible. So, as soon as the speakers on my laptop spit out "We hope you enjoyed this book," I was at the Audible website to get Florida Roadkill. As soon as part one finished downloading, I started it playing.
It's going to be very hard to wait for credits to arrive to complete the collection. But ... my local public library doesn't have any of the Serge A. Storms novels available in audio, so ... **sigh** I'll have to be patient.
While I am waiting, I think I will listen to When Elves Attack at least one more time. :-)
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
14 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Kathleen Duncan
- 11-20-23
Fun Holiday Reading for Serge Fans
I have a few books I listen to every holiday season. I'm a big fan of Tim Dorsey and love the Serge Storm series. This playful excursion into the wacky Florida world is the perfect starting point for my Holiday Book Playlist, Next up David Sedaris.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Robin
- 07-02-17
hysterical!!
Loved it!! My 1st Serge bk, &will now go start series in order. Very amusing in a Murdoch (from A Team) crossed w/Dortmunder (from Donald Westlake series) & a twist of Hitman (from Block series)....with definate heavy sprinkles of Plum series (Evanivich).....its going 2b one of those series I listen 2again &again.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Elizabeth
- 11-16-11
Gotta love Tim Dorsey
A good story with enough wit and interesting twists and turns to be a fun read.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
3 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- john merchant
- 03-07-22
Serge is at it again.
This book series should be mandatory listening for anyone considering relocating to Florida.
Florida isn't the shiny, happy postcard crap that gets sent to Sheboygan on a postcard. The seedy underbelly is alive and well and part of what makes this state spectacular. The author is fully aware of this and uses his experience as a Tampa journalist for inspiration. Some of the capers are far-fetched; but in Florida, they're not out of the realm of possibility.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Marg S
- 05-04-12
Serge
Any additional comments?
I love this author and the performance was great. Only problem is, I just can't get over the Joe Peschi voice of Serge.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
3 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Sonja Cassandra Perdue
- 06-08-21
I've listened to every single one.
Now that says a lot about me. Listened to the newer ones years back and then started from the beginning here.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Jere
- 01-15-12
Serge does the holidays
Wow! Tim Dorsey did it again. Non-stop action and hijinks that only Serge and Coleman can do, and in their own way. Many of the quirky characters from Serge's past are here to celebrate the season with this somewhat heartwarming holiday tale. My only complaint is that our time spent with Serge is just not long enough.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
4 people found this helpful
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- Tiffany
- 07-18-14
Serge is my FAVORITE killer of all time!
Would you consider the audio edition of When Elves Attack to be better than the print version?
Wow, that's a hard one. This is actually the first Tim Dorsey novel that I haven't read, but listened to. I had a much different idea of what Serge would sound like, but I liked his interpretation of Serge.
What did you like best about this story?
The craziness that is Serge A. Storms, as always. Who knew someone could create such a loveable psychopath!
What about Oliver Wyman’s performance did you like?
The use of voices and the wide range he was able to cover. Very talented and enthusiastic.
Who was the most memorable character of When Elves Attack and why?
The G-Unit. How they would get rid of the blonde news anchors, priceless! I aspire to be them when I grow up.
Any additional comments?
Get as much Tim Dorsey as you can into your life. You'll thank me later.
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
- John
- 11-27-11
A Serge Storms treat for the Holidays!
Serge and Coleman are back for a special little holiday treat! What else is there to say? It's psychopathic vigilante Serge Storms and substance abuse sidekick Coleman putting their particular brand of bizarre spin on the season. Followers of Tim Dorsey's tales will remember Jim and Martha Davenport from Triggerfish Twist and Atomic Lobster. Alas, the poor couple are (again) thrown in the middle of a not-so-fictional modern day economic mess. Serge to the rescue, along with help from the G-Unit Grannies, to sort it all out, eliminate bad guys as only Serge can, and triumph for a Merry Christmas to all and to all a goodnight!
Something went wrong. Please try again in a few minutes.
You voted on this review!
You reported this review!
3 people found this helpful