-
Why Do Only White People Get Abducted by Aliens?
- Teaching Lessons from the Bronx
- Narrated by: Romy Nordlinger
- Length: 7 hrs and 27 mins
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Publisher's summary
The true story of a young teacher attempting to change lives in a troubled educational system. According to Ilana Garon, popular books and movies are inundated with the myth of the "hero teacher" - the one who charges headfirst into dysfunctional inner-city schools like a firefighter into an inferno, bringing the student victims to safety through a combination of charisma and innate righteousness. The students are then "saved" by the teacher’s idealism, empathy, and faith. This is not that type of book.
Here, Garon reveals the sometimes humorous, oftentimes frustrating, and occasionally horrifying truths that accompany the experience of teaching at a public high school in the Bronx. The overcrowded classrooms, lack of textbooks, and abundance of mice, cockroaches, and drugs weren’t the only challenges Garon faced during her first four years as a teacher. Every day, she’d interact with students dealing with addiction, miscarriages, stints in "juvie", abusive relationships, and gang violence. These students brought with them big dreams and uncommon insight - and challenged everything Garon thought she knew about education.
In response, Garon - a naive, suburban girl with a curly ponytail, freckles, and Harry Potter glasses - opened her eyes, rolled up her sleeves, and learned to distinguish between mitigated failure and qualified success. In this book, Garon explains how she realized that being a new teacher was about trial by fire, making mistakes, learning from the very students she was teaching, and occasionally admitting that she may not have answers to their thought-provoking (and amusing) questions.
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Editorial reviews
While the title might make listeners think this is a work of humor, the reality is more interesting. This is an honest and reflective account of what it's like for an earnest white woman from the suburbs to teach public high school in the Bronx. There's no narrative of the "hero teacher" here, but a frank account of what it's like teaching in the midst of drugs, gangs, abusive relationships, and cockroaches. Despite it all, author Ilana Garon makes real connections with her students, and listeners will enjoy watching her grow in empathy and wisdom. Narrator Romy Nordlinger does a great job bringing Garon to life, and capturing the variety of beautiful and challenging students she meets.
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For fans of "Where'd You Go, Bernadette ?"
- By RueRue on 01-16-17
By: Amy Poeppel
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Ginger Kid
- Mostly True Tales from a Former Nerd
- By: Steve Hofstetter
- Narrated by: Steve Hofstetter
- Length: 5 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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In Ginger Kid, popular comedian Steve Hofstetter grapples with life after seventh grade...when his world fell apart. Formatted as a series of personal essays, Steve walks his listeners through awkward early dating, family turbulence, and the revenge of the bullied nerds. This YA nonfiction is sure to be the beloved next volume for the first generation of Wimpy Kid fans who are all grown up and ready for a new misfit hero.
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Loved it.
- By Justin on 06-28-18
By: Steve Hofstetter
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My Awesome-Awful Popularity Plan
- By: Seth Rudetsky
- Narrated by: Seth Rudetsky, Andrea Burns, Paul Castree, and others
- Length: 5 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Justin has two goals for sophomore year: to date Chuck, the hottest boy in school, and to become the king of Cool U, the table in the cafeteria where the "in" crowd sits. Unfortunately, he has the wrong look (short, plump, Brillo-pad curls), he has the wrong interests (Broadway, chorus violin), and he has the wrong friends (Spencer, into Eastern religions, and Mary Ann, who doesn't shave her armpits). And Chuck? Well, he's not gay; he's dating Becky, a girl in chorus with whom Justin is friendly.
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Outstanding
- By matt on 04-28-12
By: Seth Rudetsky
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The Secret Side of Empty
- By: Maria E. Andreu
- Narrated by: Eileen Stevens
- Length: 6 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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What's it like to be undocumented? High school senior M.T. knows all too well. With graduation and an uncertain future looming, she must figure out how to grow up in the only country she's ever called home... a country in which she's "illegal". M.T. was born in Argentina and brought to America as a baby without any official papers. And as questions of college, work, and the future arise, M.T. will have to decide what exactly she wants for herself, knowing someone she loves will unavoidably pay the price for it.
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Heavy topics handled well but just fell short 4 me
- By AudioBookHoe on 07-30-17
By: Maria E. Andreu
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Liar, Liar
- The Theory, Practice and Destructive Properties of Deception
- By: Gary Paulsen
- Narrated by: Joshua Swanson
- Length: 2 hrs and 15 mins
- Unabridged
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Kevin has a big talent. Some might call it compulsive lying. He calls it common sense. Kev doesn’t mean to cause trouble by lying all the time; he’s just trying to make everything easier for everyone (and himself). And, of course, a few harmless, um, falsehoods are crucial to his plan to convince Tina that he’s the perfect boyfriend for her. In Gary Paulsen’s irresistible and chaotic comedy, Kevin’s lies spiral out of control until he’s faced with the need to do the unthinkable: tell the truth.
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Mindless entertainment
- By Melody on 01-21-15
By: Gary Paulsen
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Elliot Allagash
- A Novel
- By: Simon Rich
- Narrated by: Richard Powers
- Length: 6 hrs and 22 mins
- Unabridged
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Seymour is the least popular student at Glendale, a private school in Manhattan. His new nickname, “Chunk-Style”, is in danger of entering common usage. But then he meets the new transfer student: Elliot Allagash, evil heir of America’s largest fortune. Elliot’s rampant delinquency has already gotten him expelled from dozens of prep schools. But despite his best efforts, he can’t get himself thrown out of Glendale; his father has simply donated too much money. Bitter and bored, Elliot amuses himself by transforming Seymour into the most popular student in the school.
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Great book.
- By Reid Robinson on 01-29-16
By: Simon Rich
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Charlie Joe Jackson's Guide to Not Reading
- Charlie Joe Jackson, Book 1
- By: Tommy Greenwald
- Narrated by: MacLeod Andrews
- Length: 3 hrs and 27 mins
- Unabridged
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Charlie Joe Jackson may be the most reluctant reader ever born. And so far, he’s managed to get through life without ever reading an entire book from cover to cover. But now that he’s in middle school, avoiding reading isn’t as easy as it used to be. And when his friend Timmy McGibney decides that he’s tired of covering for him, Charlie Joe finds himself resorting to desperate measures to keep his perfect record intact. This is the hilarious story of an avid non-reader and the extreme lengths to which he’ll go to get out of reading a book.
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Laugh Out Loud with an A+ Narrator
- By Chocolate Chip Stamper on 10-24-12
By: Tommy Greenwald
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Tell Me Again How a Crush Should Feel
- By: Sara Farizan
- Narrated by: Negin Farsad
- Length: 5 hrs and 21 mins
- Unabridged
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Leila has made it most of the way through Armstead Academy without having a crush on anyone, which is a relief. As an Iranian American, she’s different enough; if word got out that Leila liked girls, life would be twice as hard. But when beautiful new girl Saskia shows up, Leila starts to take risks she never thought she would.
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Excellent
- By Lifeisshort on 11-03-14
By: Sara Farizan
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True Notebooks
- A Writer's Year at Juvenile Hall
- By: Mark Salzman
- Narrated by: Paul Boehmer
- Length: 9 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Surprising, charming, upsetting, enlightening, and ultimately hopeful - driven by the insight and humor of Salzman’s voice and by the intelligence, candor, and strength of his students, whose writing appears throughout the book - True Notebooks is itself a reward of the self-expression Mark Salzman teaches: a revelatory meditation on the process, power, and meaning of writing.
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Funny, witty and honest! Loved the book!!
- By Erika on 11-24-03
By: Mark Salzman
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The 57 Bus
- A True Story of Two Teenagers and the Crime That Changed Their Lives
- By: Dashka Slater
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 5 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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If it weren't for the 57 bus, Sasha and Richard never would have met. Both were high school students from Oakland, California, one of the most diverse cities in the country, but they inhabited different worlds. Sasha, a white teen, lived in the middle-class foothills and attended a small private school. Richard, a black teen, lived in the crime-plagued flatlands and attended a large public one. Each day, their paths overlapped for a mere eight minutes. But, one afternoon, on the bus ride home from school, a single reckless act left Sasha severely burned.
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An Unusual True-Crime Event...Beautifully Written.
- By Mary Burnight on 02-21-18
By: Dashka Slater
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Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie
- By: David Lubar
- Narrated by: Ryan MacConnell, the Full Cast Family
- Length: 6 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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From the author of Dunk comes this sparkling new novel that covers a year in the life of high school freshman Scott Hudson, who is sideswiped by the unexpected news that his mother is about to have another baby.
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Pick Me! Pick Me!
- By Misty on 12-10-07
By: David Lubar
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Ban This Book
- By: Alan Gratz
- Narrated by: Bahni Turpin
- Length: 5 hrs and 17 mins
- Unabridged
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It all started the day Amy Anne Ollinger tried to check out her favorite book in the whole world, From the Mixed-Up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, from the school library. That's when Mrs. Jones, the librarian, told her the bad news: her favorite book was banned, all because a classmate's mom thought the book wasn't appropriate for kids to read. Amy Anne decides to fight back by starting a secret banned books library out of her locker.
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LOVED IT!!!
- By Colleen on 12-20-18
By: Alan Gratz
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Murder of a Small-Town Honey
- A Scumble River Mystery, Book 1
- By: Denise Swanson
- Narrated by: Christine Leto
- Length: 7 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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When Skye Denison left Scumble River years ago, she swore she'd never return. But after a bout with her boyfriend and credit card rejection, she's back to home sweet - homicide....
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unacceptable production
- By Music Lover on 06-28-13
By: Denise Swanson
What listeners say about Why Do Only White People Get Abducted by Aliens?
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Erin G.
- 10-15-13
Hilarious and touching
What did you love best about Why Do Only White People Get Abducted by Aliens??
Disclaimer: Ilana and I went to college together.
This book is hilarious--Ilana writes with an irresistible combination of dry wit and humbleness that keeps the pages turning in a way that I rarely encounter with non-fiction. She paints such vivid pictures of her students, and you can almost hear their voices. The depth of feeling that she has for even the most challenging ones is unbelievably touching.
Teaching memoirs can tend to be a compendium of coming-of-age stories for the students that cross the teacher's path; this is essentially a coming-of-age story for Ilana herself as a teacher, and it is masterfully constructed.
Have you listened to any of Romy Nordlinger’s other performances before? How does this one compare?
No, but it would have been nice if she had learned to pronounce the author's name correctly.
Was this a book you wanted to listen to all in one sitting?
I actually loved the fact that the book was broken up into vignettes about the various students that have defined Ilana's teaching experience. It was easy to set the book down and then come back to it the next time there was a patch of time.
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- L. M. Herrington
- 11-23-20
Overall, a pretty good memoir
Overall, Garon's is a pretty good memoir that tends to avoid the trope of the white savior. Though she never explicitly critiques such narratives, given her early discussion of Dangerous Minds and similar movies, it seems obvious that the book was written to challenge the idea that the well-meaning white woman could, through force of will or whatever, fix everything wrong with American inner-city schools.
That said, her prescriptions seem a little simplistic. The conclusion that poverty is the root problem facing the public school system seems uncontroversial, but her ideas about discipline seem to run contrary to her reported experience (e.g. meditations, police presence, detention, etc.), and they likewise ignore the way punitive and carceral solutions only serve to compound the problems her students face. One could point to such issues as the school-to-prison pipeline, for example, but even her own experience shows that students fall further and further behind when they are sent to juvie, prison, suspended, and the like.
Nevertheless, the book is wonderful. It simultaneously comes off as upsetting and touching. Garon is clearly a gifted writer, and I hope to read more from her in the future. As for this book, I would recommend it to anyone hoping to understand the situation of the country's public schools, and as a college-level educator, anyone hoping to understand the experiences of their own students with public secondary education. However, anyone looking for an answer to the whimsical research question Garon borrowed from one of her students for the title of her book would do better to look elsewhere.
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1 person found this helpful
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- Chris Lane
- 10-17-20
Kids and the teacher who treAts them like kids
What impressed me most was this was a story about a young teacher doing her best to provide a education for kids that many would write off as a lost cause. There are no scenes ripped from Dangerous Minds, or Freedom Writers just kids.
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- Anonymous User
- 01-13-23
Relatable and interesting
As a student who faced similar circumstances talked about in this book I felt seen and heard. I usually grasp toward historical science but this book was very interesting, simple and a “page turner”. Definitely recommend for teens and up.
The narration was a plus.
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- sdloop
- 08-25-21
Insightful
All I ever wanted to know about classroom teaching and student behavior and then some. Great story!
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- Ryan L
- 03-16-24
The Reality Of Public Education
I found this audiobook quite enlightening! I was already somewhat aware of some of the things most public school teachers have to deal with but this audiobook made me aware of so much more. I salute ALL teachers! Thank you for helping so many students navigate this journey known as life. :)
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- Yossi
- 09-15-13
Compelling characters and superb writing...
Any additional comments?
...what more could you ask for from a book? Okay, perhaps insightful analyses as well as commentary on the human condition -- but these are present as well, in superb form.
By turns hilarious, horrific, and suspenseful, this book sucks you in such that you forget that you're reading and are wholly transported into the author's world. For me, immersion is the single most important criteria for measuring the success of any artistic work in any medium -- and this book is absolutely immersive, beyond a shadow of a doubt. Highly recommended.
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5 people found this helpful
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- Erin H
- 10-20-17
such a good read!
I loved this. so much going on in the visualization and deep dive into the characters was really great. I want to hear more!
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- Ashley Morgan
- 04-02-23
Portrayed the public school system perfectly
While others are mad at you stating things point blank, I love it. You do not sugar coat one bit and at the same time kept me interested. I love that you said what the students are up to now. I do not know know why it will not let me rate the story but I loved every bit especially your 100% true and real version on how to help the public school system.
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- V.R.
- 08-20-15
bleh
Any additional comments?
The narrator was really lacking and her impersonations of Garon's black and brown students' voices were poorly done and frankly offensive.
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