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Why Fish Don't Exist
A Story of Loss, Love, and the Hidden Order of Life
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Narrated by:
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Lulu Miller
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By:
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Lulu Miller
About this listen
A Best Book of 2020:
- The Washington Post
- NPR
- Chicago Tribune
- Smithsonian
A "remarkable" (Los Angeles Times), "seductive" (The Wall Street Journal) debut from the new cohost of Radiolab, Why Fish Don’t Exist is a dark and astonishing tale of love, chaos, scientific obsession, and - possibly - even murder.
"At one point, Miller dives into the ocean into a school of fish...comes up for air, and realizes she’s in love. That’s how I felt: Her book took me to strange depths I never imagined, and I was smitten." (The New York Times Book Review)
David Starr Jordan was a taxonomist, a man possessed with bringing order to the natural world. In time, he would be credited with discovering nearly a fifth of the fish known to humans in his day. But the more of the hidden blueprint of life he uncovered, the harder the universe seemed to try to thwart him. His specimen collections were demolished by lightning, by fire, and eventually by the 1906 San Francisco earthquake - which sent more than 1,000 discoveries, housed in fragile glass jars, plummeting to the floor. In an instant, his life’s work was shattered.
Many might have given up, given in to despair. But Jordan? He surveyed the wreckage at his feet, found the first fish that he recognized, and confidently began to rebuild his collection. And this time, he introduced one clever innovation that he believed would at last protect his work against the chaos of the world.
When NPR reporter Lulu Miller first heard this anecdote in passing, she took Jordan for a fool - a cautionary tale in hubris, or denial. But as her own life slowly unraveled, she began to wonder about him. Perhaps instead he was a model for how to go on when all seemed lost. What she would unearth about his life would transform her understanding of history, morality, and the world beneath her feet.
Part biography, part memoir, part scientific adventure, Why Fish Don’t Exist is a wondrous fable about how to persevere in a world where chaos will always prevail.
©2020 Lulu Miller (P)2020 Simon & Schuster AudioListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Lulu Miller's friendly, curious voice braids together history, biography, and memoir. The former host of the NPR podcast 'Invisibilia' introduces listeners to taxonomist and former Stanford president David Starr Jordan, famous for his work classifying fish. Initially, Miller is inspired by Jordan because he personifies resilience after his life's work seems to have been destroyed by an earthquake. But she also uncovers his darker side while researching. Miller has a slightly husky down-to-earth voice, and her storytelling background in radio infuses her work. Her confident delivery is playful and comfortably paced, her narration engaging and easy on the ear. When Miller deals with subjects like depression and loss in her own life, it's especially meaningful knowing she's experienced the stories and insights she shares.” (AudioFile magazine)
"What a delightful book.... Ms. Miller wields [Radiolab’s] familiar format with panache, spinning a tale so seductive that I read her book in one sitting." (The Wall Street Journal)
"I want to live at this book’s address: the intersection of history and biology and wonder and failure and sheer human stubbornness. What a sumptuous, surprising, dark delight." (Carmen Maria Machado, author of Her Body and Other Parties)
Featured Article: The top 100 memoirs of all time
All genres considered, the memoir is among the most difficult and complex for a writer to pull off. After all, giving voice to your own lived experience and recounting deeply painful or uncomfortable memories in a way that still engages and entertains is a remarkable feat. These autobiographies, often narrated by the authors themselves, shine with raw, unfiltered emotion sure to resonate with any listener. But don't just take our word for it—queue up any one of these listens, and you'll hear exactly what we mean.
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- Length: 4 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Tom Wolfe, whose legend began in journalism, takes us on an eye-opening journey that is sure to arouse widespread debate. The Kingdom of Speech is a captivating, paradigm-shifting argument that speech - not evolution - is responsible for humanity's complex societies and achievements.
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Takedown of a pseudointellectual bully!
- By Wayne on 09-01-16
By: Tom Wolfe
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Brodmaw Bay
- By: F.G. Cottam
- Narrated by: David Rintoul
- Length: 10 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Brodmaw Bay seems to be the perfect refuge for James Greer and his family. When his son is the victim of a brutal mugging, Greer wants to leave London - the sooner the better - for the charming old-fashioned fishing port he has just discovered. But was finding Brodmaw Bay more than a happy accident? What is the connection between the village and his beautiful wife? When his friendly new neighbours say they'd welcome some new blood - in a village where the same families seem to have lived for generations - are they telling the whole truth?
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Not Quite The Equal Of Its Promise
- By Flavius Krakdaddius on 08-23-12
By: F.G. Cottam
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One Blade of Grass
- Finding the Old Road of the Heart, a Zen Memoir
- By: Henry Shukman
- Narrated by: Henry Shukman
- Length: 11 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
This is the story of how a meditation practice gave Henry Shukman a context for integrating a sudden spiritual awakening into his life and how his depression and anxiety were gradually healed through this practice. In sharing how he grew into a Zen teacher, Shukman demystifies Zen training, casting its profound insights in simple, lucid language. Along the way, One Blade of Grass guides listeners on a journey of their own, into the hidden treasures that contemplative practice can reveal to any of us.
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Boring
- By Elvis on 09-10-20
By: Henry Shukman
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The Sum of Our Days
- By: Isabel Allende
- Narrated by: Blair Brown, Isabel Allende
- Length: 11 hrs and 12 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Isabel Allende reconstructs the painful reality of her own life in the wake of the tragic death of her daughter, Paula. Narrated with warmth, humor, exceptional candor, and wisdom, this remarkable memoir is as exuberant and as full of life as its creator. Allende bares her soul while sharing her thoughts on love, marriage, motherhood, spirituality and religion, infidelity, addiction, and memory - and recounts stories of the wildly eccentric, strong-minded, and eclectic tribe she gathers around her and lovingly embraces as a new kind of family.
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She does not disappoint
- By ChiChi's Rule on 06-01-22
By: Isabel Allende
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Desert Notebooks
- A Road Map for the End of Time
- By: Ben Ehrenreich
- Narrated by: David Bendena
- Length: 11 hrs and 42 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
Layering climate science, mythologies, nature writing, and personal experiences, Desert Notebooks offers a vital and necessary chronicle of our past and our present - perfect for fans of Robert Macfarlane and Elizabeth Rush - that’s unflinching, urgent, and yet timeless and profound.
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Not about the desert, Not about Joshua Tree
- By Steve King on 07-12-20
By: Ben Ehrenreich
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Heartwood
- The Art of Living with the End in Mind
- By: Barbara Becker
- Narrated by: Gabra Zackman
- Length: 4 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When her earliest childhood friend is diagnosed with a terminal illness, Becker sets off on a quest to immerse herself in what it means to be mortal. Can we live our lives more fully knowing some day we will die? With a keen eye toward that which makes life worth living, interfaith minister, mom, and perpetual seeker Barbara Becker recounts stories where life and death intersect in unexpected ways.
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The author’s compassion
- By Amazon Customer on 04-16-24
By: Barbara Becker
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Learning to Die in Miami
- Confessions of a Refugee Boy
- By: Carlos Eire
- Narrated by: Robert Fass
- Length: 11 hrs and 59 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Carlos Eire's story of a boyhood uprooted by the Cuban Revolution quickly lures us in, as eleven-year-old Carlos and his older brother Tony touch down in the sun-dappled Miami of 1962 - a place of daunting abundance where his old Cuban self must die to make way for a new, American self waiting to be born. In this enchanting new work, narrated in Eire's inimitable and lyrical voice, young Carlos adjusts to life in his new country.
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Excellent memoir of a forgotten time in history
- By BRB on 03-23-15
By: Carlos Eire
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The Mathematician's Shiva
- By: Stuart Rojstaczer
- Narrated by: Angela Brazil, Stephen R. Thorne
- Length: 10 hrs and 38 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
When the greatest female mathematician in history passes away, her son, Alexander "Sasha" Karnokovitch, just wants to mourn his mother in peace. But rumor has it the notoriously eccentric Polish émigré has solved one of the most difficult problems in all of mathematics and has spitefully taken the solution to her grave. A ragtag group of mathematicians from around the world descends upon Rachela's shiva, determined to find the proof or solve it for themselves - even if it means prying up the floorboards for notes.
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Great read
- By Lee Crowe on 07-27-15
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The Unbearable Lightness of Being
- A Novel
- By: Milan Kundera, Michael Henry Heim - translator
- Narrated by: Richmond Hoxie
- Length: 9 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A young woman is in love with a successful surgeon, a man torn between his love for her and his incorrigible womanizing. His mistress, a free-spirited artist, lives her life as a series of betrayals—while her other lover, earnest, faithful, and good, stands to lose everything because of his noble qualities. In a world where lives are shaped by irrevocable choices and fortuitous events, and everything occurs but once, existence seems to lose its substance, its weight. Hence we feel “the unbearable lightness of being."
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Love, Politics, and Strange Bedfellows
- By Mel on 07-01-12
By: Milan Kundera, and others
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The First Man
- By: Albert Camus
- Narrated by: Jefferson Mays
- Length: 8 hrs and 9 mins
- Unabridged
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Performance
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Story
In The First Man, Albert Camus tells the story of Jacques Cormery, a boy who lived a life much like his own. Camus summons up the sights, sounds, and textures of a childhood circumscribed by poverty and a father's death yet redeemed by the austere beauty of Algeria and the boy's attachment to his nearly deaf-mute mother. The result is a moving journey through the lost landscape of youth that also discloses the wellsprings of Camus's aesthetic powers and moral vision.
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Great Narration by Jefferson Mays
- By Sean Patrick Stevens on 07-31-21
By: Albert Camus
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American Philosophy
- A Love Story
- By: John Kaag
- Narrated by: Josh Bloomberg
- Length: 8 hrs and 3 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In American Philosophy, John Kaag - a disillusioned philosopher at sea in his marriage and career - stumbles upon a treasure trove of rare books on an old estate in the hinterlands of New Hampshire that once belonged to the Harvard philosopher William Ernest Hocking. The library includes notes from Whitman, inscriptions from Frost, and first editions of Hobbes, Descartes, and Kant. As he begins to catalog and preserve these priceless books, Kaag rediscovers the very tenets of American philosophy.
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Awesome Book! But..
- By Kye Sonne on 04-02-17
By: John Kaag
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Breathe
- A Letter to My Sons
- By: Imani Perry
- Narrated by: Imani Perry
- Length: 4 hrs and 28 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Breathe explores the terror, grace, and beauty of coming of age as a Black person in contemporary America and what it means to parent our children in a persistently unjust world. Emotionally raw and deeply reflective, Imani Perry issues an unflinching challenge to society to see Black children as deserving of humanity. She admits fear and frustration for her African-American sons in a society that is increasingly racist and at times seems irredeemable. However, as a mother, feminist, writer, and intellectual, Perry offers an unfettered expression of love.
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Delightful peek into the heart & soul of a mother
- By Treesey on 10-08-19
By: Imani Perry
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The Ungrateful Refugee
- What Immigrants Never Tell You
- By: Dina Nayeri
- Narrated by: Dina Nayeri
- Length: 10 hrs and 33 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
Aged eight, Dina Nayeri fled Iran along with her mother and brother and lived in the crumbling shell of an Italian hotel-turned-refugee camp. Eventually, she was granted asylum in America. She settled in Oklahoma, then made her way to Princeton University. In this book, Nayeri weaves together her own vivid story with the stories of other refugees and asylum seekers in recent years, bringing us inside their daily lives and taking us through the different stages of their journeys, from escape to asylum to resettlement.
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Amazing story of resilience and compassion
- By PAH on 09-06-19
By: Dina Nayeri
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During World War II, Elzbieta Zawacka—the WWII female resistance fighter known as Agent Zo—was the only woman to reach London as an emissary of the Polish Home Army command. In Britain, she became the only woman to join the Polish elite Special Forces, known as the "Silent Unseen." She was secretly trained in the British countryside, and then she was the only female member of these forces to be parachuted back behind enemy lines to Nazi-occupied Poland.
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Perfect find at precise time in life
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How Far the Light Reaches
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A fascinating tour of creatures from the surface to the deepest ocean floor: How Far the Light Reaches invites us to envision wilder, grander, and more abundant possibilities for the way we live. Conservation journalist Sabrina Imbler discovers that some of the most radical models of family, community, and care can be found in the sea, from gelatinous chains that are both individual organisms and colonies of clones to deep-sea crabs that have no need for the sun, nourished instead by the chemicals and heat throbbing from the core of the Earth.
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THIS IS A MEMOIR
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The Fortnight in September
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Meet the Stevens family as they prepare to embark on their yearly holiday to the coast of England. Mr. and Mrs. Stevens first made the trip to Bognor Regis on their honeymoon, and the tradition has continued ever since. They stay in the same guesthouse and follow the same carefully honed schedule - now accompanied by their three children, 20-year-old Mary, 17-year-old Dick, and little brother Ernie.
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life-affirming and magical
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What listeners say about Why Fish Don't Exist
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- Cordele
- 05-22-22
I cherished every word
An amazing exploration of existential anxiety through the deconstruction of human conceptualization and the limits of science.
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- smchh
- 08-09-20
A great journey
Lulu is such an amazing writer. This easily could have been such a cut and dry biography about David Star Jordan, but she has a brilliant way with words and I so appreciate what she shared of her own story.
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- JW
- 08-04-20
Resonance
Already a fan of Lulu Miller's radio work, I had high expectations. I was not disappointed. While listening, I discovered a way to verbalize how I have felt about what we do to control the chaos by placing our own value over the lives of the creatures we don't understand, and how difficult it has always been for me to just go along with it. As someone who struggles with her own nihilism, I needed this voice and these words in my life.
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- Anonymous User
- 01-17-21
Perfect for our current mood
I reccomend! There is a lot of really interesting natural history intertwined with themes on love, existentialism, and science.
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- Lynn M. Belden
- 05-21-23
Wonderful
Lulu is extraordinary. . Interesting look into the lives of men and women who bring order from chaos. .
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- Michael Burchard
- 01-18-23
Truly beautiful
This author truly spoke to me. She used different words than I, but she really gets it. I LOVE that she narrated the book as well! She has a great voice and I felt like my friend was telling me a story!
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- jennifer jerde
- 06-20-24
a perfect and most unusual book
uh, this book is part memoir, natural science textbook, mystery, self help, and the part version has a children’s book component. Category breaking…total gem. Weird. Perfect.
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- Naked Eyelashes
- 08-14-24
So much more than fish
I adored this book. It was so well written and performed. Highly recommend. At the beginning I could not have expected the story to turn out the way that it did but I suspect that's all a part of lesson.
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- Natalia H.
- 01-26-21
Unexpectedly fascinating read and a charming memoir
This is a book that I was ready to give up on after a few chapters. The life of David Star Jordan and his quest to order the universe seemed compelling. But did I want to learn the ins and outs of his marriages and fishing escapades? No. Nevertheless, I persisted. And it was absolutely worth it! So if you find yourself jaded by David’s story, carry on. The second part of the book is the real gem. Filled with subtly beautiful writing that connects the chaotic pieces of many different stories into one. I loved it.
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- BC
- 01-18-21
Fish Don’t Exist
What an interesting journey to discover oneself. The title was a little odd but I had heard good things. It’s worth the trip for sure, but you may have some figuring out to do, about life and your own life, after you finish.
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