You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can't Make it Scuba Dive)
A Novel
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Narrated by:
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Bernard Clark
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By:
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Robert Cormack
About this listen
Down the street, a dog is running around a lamp post on a leash. I feel like I’m on a similar trajectory. Sam Bennett is the last of a dying breed, a former Mad Man, now made redundant after 30 years at the same advertising agency. Left with his awards and a case of Bulgarian whiskey (which he still can’t remember buying), Sam retreats to his home, awaits the summer arrival of his daughter and crazy son-in-law, Muller, is plagued by panic attacks and has an incident involving a pressed ham on a liquor store window with a young security guard named Max. With the ground feeling like a trampoline, Sam sets out to do the one thing Mary, his wife, wants more than anything else - a grandchild. It won’t be easy with Muller, his suicidal son-in-law, jumping off roofs and drinking green paint, but life is full of surprises. Meanwhile, Muller wants Max’s mom, and Max’s dad, Otis, has the craziest online show in Chicago called, Otis Cries for You. As Sam’s doctor Krupsky tells him, "Life’s a crapshoot. At least you filled the cheap seats." Sam is about to learn the greatest lessons in life, even if it means stealing his neighbor’s pot, and getting more people stoned than he ever imagined possible.
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- Narrated by: Tom Stechschulte, James Jenner
- Length: 14 hrs and 47 mins
- Unabridged
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Marshall Karp is an acclaimed playwright known for his witty sense of humor and crackling dialogue. His debut novel The Rabbit Factory stars the irreverent LAPD detective duo of Mike Lomax and Terry Biggs. Dean Lamaar is the architect of an entertainment empire and the creator of iconic characters like Rambunctious Rabbit and McGreedy the Moose.
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Bizarre but engaging mystery.1st-rate performance.
- By MidwestGeek on 12-19-12
By: Marshall Karp
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This Raging Light
- By: Estelle Laure
- Narrated by: Sandy Rustin
- Length: 5 hrs and 36 mins
- Unabridged
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Lucille seems to have nothing going for her. With the bills piling in, the house falling apart around her, and her sister's growing distress, it is precisely the worst possible moment for Lucille to fall recklessly in love with her best friend's twin brother, Digby, who is practically engaged.
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Amazing Loving and Sexy
- By Princess Lucy on 12-28-17
By: Estelle Laure
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Of Mice and Minestrone
- Hap and Leonard: The Early Years (Hap and Leonard)
- By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, Kasey Lansdale - contributor, Joe R. Lansdale
- Narrated by: JD Jackson
- Length: 5 hrs and 48 mins
- Unabridged
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Hap Collins looks like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal is Leonard Pine, who is Black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Inseparable friends, Hap and Leonard climb into the boxing ring, visit their families, get in bar fights, and just go fishing - all the while confronting racists, righting wrongs, and eating a whole lot of delicious food.
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Wringing every last drop
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 04-08-23
By: Kathleen Kent - introduction, and others
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Orange Mint and Honey
- By: Carleen Brice
- Narrated by: Cherise Booth
- Length: 8 hrs and 7 mins
- Unabridged
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After grad school, Shay Dixon feels like she's had enough for awhile. Inspired by her spiritual adviser - a soul-soothing blues player named Nina Simon - Shay calls her estranged mother Nona for the first time in years, and shocks herself by asking if it would be okay to come home for a while.
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One For The Money
- By DiaRose on 09-25-17
By: Carleen Brice
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Tryin' To Sleep In the Bed You Made
- By: Virginia DeBerry, Donna Grant
- Narrated by: Fran L. Washington
- Length: 16 hrs and 24 mins
- Unabridged
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Gayle was the beauty who believed that a man could make her life complete. Patricia was the intellectual who thought that rising to the top of her career would make her happy. And then there is Marcus Carter, who has been linked to both Gayle and Pat since the tragedy that occurred when they were all children. Can either one save him from himself? Can friends survive a love that comes between them? Each of them gets what she wants, but no one counts on the price they have to pay.
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Better with each chapter!
- By Cyn B. on 02-09-16
By: Virginia DeBerry, and others
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Post Office
- A Novel
- By: Charles Bukowski
- Narrated by: Christian Baskous
- Length: 4 hrs and 32 mins
- Unabridged
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"It began as a mistake." By middle age, Henry Chinaski has lost more than 12 years of his life to the U.S. Postal Service. In a world where his three true, bitter pleasures are women, booze, and racetrack betting, he somehow drags his hangover out of bed every dawn to lug waterlogged mailbags up mud-soaked mountains, outsmart vicious guard dogs, and pray to survive the day-to-day trials of sadistic bosses and certifiable coworkers.
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Not his best, but still Bukowski
- By ibillinsly@gmail on 02-05-18
By: Charles Bukowski
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Hissy Fit
- By: Mary Kay Andrews
- Narrated by: Isabel Keating
- Length: 5 hrs and 33 mins
- Abridged
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Keeley Murdock's wedding to A.J. Jernigan should have been the social event of the season. But when she catches her fiance doing the deed with her maid of honor at the country club rehearsal dinner, all bets are off. And so is the wedding. Keeley pitches the hissy fit of the century, earning herself instant notoriety in the small town of Madison, Georgia.
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Good story, but a Southern narrator is better
- By Taunya on 05-20-05
By: Mary Kay Andrews
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Second House from the Corner
- By: Sadeqa Johnson
- Narrated by: Robin Miles
- Length: 9 hrs and 30 mins
- Unabridged
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Felicia Lyons, a stressed-out stay-at-home mom, struggles to sprint ahead of the demands of motherhood while her husband spends long days at the office. Felicia taps, utters mantras, and breathes her way through most situations, but on some days, like when the children won't stop screaming her name or arguing over toy trucks and pretzel sticks, she wonders what it would be like to get in her car and drive away.
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No ending to any of the situations that opened.
- By Tina on 03-12-16
By: Sadeqa Johnson
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Weekend Warriors
- Sisterhood, Book 1
- By: Fern Michaels
- Narrated by: Laural Merlington
- Length: 6 hrs and 6 mins
- Unabridged
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On the surface, these seven women are as different as can be - but each has had her share of bad luck, from cheating husbands to sexist colleagues to a legal system that often doesn't do its job. Now, drawn together by tragedy, they're forging a bond that will help them right the wrongs committed against them and discover an inner strength they didn't know they had. The Sisterhood is learning that when bad things happen, you can roll over and play dead...or you can get up fighting...
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Weekend Warriors
- By Ms Mare on 04-04-09
By: Fern Michaels
What listeners say about You Can Lead a Horse to Water (But You Can't Make it Scuba Dive)
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- CM
- 06-06-23
FUN READ!
Stumbled upon this book, and was so glad that I did! Quite a hoot. Love the characters. Love the narration. Kind of out there, but in a very, very good way!
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- Llinda
- 10-04-23
Fun
I loved this book. Narration was good, story silly and fun. Well worth a listen.
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- Karen
- 04-11-23
Enjoyable read.
It deals with serious problems with dry humor. I like the way it was written.
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- kyle c.
- 03-29-23
Good story
Well read. Good all around story. I like stories where the characters express themselves as who they are.
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- Shannon F
- 04-29-24
what,? lol
so much and so funny and real, I want more from the author and narrator was spot on
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- Kindle Customer
- 09-30-22
Ridiculous
This was a bit of a nonsense story, and that’s why it was so good. Sometimes a break from reality is needed. This filled the bill. I hope Mr. Cormack writes another.
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- in the dark
- 05-05-23
A pleasant surprise
This author is new to me, but I'm glad I clicked on it. Several times I laughed aloud, not a common thing for me.
It's about life, healing, friendship and love. Refreshing in this era of gloom and doom.
Thank you, Mr. Cormack! Write on!
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- Anonymous User
- 09-18-23
Great surprise read
I randomly choose this book. I found myself laughing out loud! I throughly enjoyed it!
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- Scott Wada MD
- 09-27-23
This audiobook was a pleasant surprise
There were moments I laughed out loud. A really fun listen! Not for everyone, but I suspect seniors will love this book!
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- Tasha Phillips
- 10-08-23
Funny
giod story, i enjoyed the flow of the narrator, the scenes with otitis and bisquick are hilarious,
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