You'll Do
A History of Marrying for Reasons Other Than Love
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Narrated by:
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Leigh Serling
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By:
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Marcia A. Zug
About this listen
An illuminating and thought-provoking examination of the uniquely American institution of marriage, from the Colonial era through the #MeToo age
Perfect for fans of Rebecca Solnit and Rebecca Traister
Americans hold marriage in such high esteem that we push people toward it, reward them for taking part in it, and fetishize its benefits to the point that we routinely ignore or excuse bad behavior and societal ills in the name of protecting and promoting it.
In eras of slavery and segregation, Blacks sometimes gained white legal status through marriage.
Laws have been designed to encourage people to marry so that certain societal benefits could be achieved: the population would increase, women would have financial security, children would be cared for, and immigrants would have familial connections.
As late as the Great Depression, poor young women were encouraged to marry aged Civil War veterans for lifetime pensions.
The widely overlooked problem with this tradition is that individuals and society have relied on marriage to address or dismiss a range of injustices and inequities, from gender- and race-based discrimination, sexual violence, and predation to unequal financial treatment.
One of the most persuasive arguments against women's right to vote was that marrying and influencing their husband's choices was just as meaningful, if not better.
Through revealing storytelling, Zug builds a compelling case that when marriage is touted as “the solution” to such problems, it absolves the government, and society, of the responsibility for directly addressing them.
©2024 Marcia A. Zug (P)2024 Steerforth Press LLCListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Gold diggers, bigamists, prenups, breach of promise suits, alimony: it's all here, wrapped up in an engaging and accessible account." — Booklist
"An engrossing account of why individuals have married for reasons other than love and often made that work, but Zug also warns of the dangers to our most vulnerable citizens when policy-makers make legal rights and social benefits that should be available to all contingent on marriage." — Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage
“You'll Do is a wonderfully fun romp through the history of why people marry. Zug weaves together colonial incest laws, her great-aunt Rosie's marriage designed to help a man escape the Nazis, Saturday Night Live, Jane Austen, contemporary welfare policy -- and more -- to tell the story of the marital bargain. While the common assumption is that people should only marry for love, Zug explains why so many people do not -- and why that decision makes sense.” — Naomi Cahn, author of Marriage Markets
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The Secrets of Alchemy
- By: Lawrence M. Principe
- Narrated by: Gary Tiedemann
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In The Secrets of Alchemy, Lawrence M. Principe, one of the world's leading authorities on the subject, brings alchemy out of the shadows and restores it to its important place in human history and culture. By surveying what alchemy was and how it began, developed, and overlapped with a range of ideas and pursuits, Principe illuminates the practice. He vividly depicts the place of alchemy during its heyday in early modern Europe, and then explores how alchemy has fit into wider views of the cosmos and humanity.
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Brilliant well-researched and witty
- By bukalemun on 12-14-23
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The Hidden Language of Cats
- How They Have Us at Meow
- By: Sarah Brown PhD
- Narrated by: Helen Keeley
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
A renowned cat behavior scientist of over thirty years, Dr. Sarah Brown has been at the forefront of research in the field, discovering how cats use tail signals to interact with each other and their owners. Now, she reveals the previously unexplored secrets of cat communication in a book that is both scientifically grounded and utterly delightful.
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get it
- By Jinks on 03-05-24
By: Sarah Brown PhD
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The Complete Idiot's Guide to Alchemy
- The Magic and Mystery of the Ancient Craft Revealed for Today
- By: Dennis William Hauck
- Narrated by: Kris Dyer
- Length: 11 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
It's completely understandable if you're in the dark about alchemy. It has been practiced around the world and linked to various religious rites, scientific experiments, and, of course, magic - a series of beliefs and disciplines that defy categorization and definition. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Alchemy demystifies this ancient art with an easy-to-comprehend overview of its history, philosophies, and practices.
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Enlightening!
- By Amazon Customer on 06-12-24
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The Patriarchs
- The Origins of Inequality
- By: Angela Saini
- Narrated by: Sohm Kapila
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
For fans of Sapiens and The Dawn of Everything, a groundbreaking exploration of gendered oppression—its origins, its histories, our attempts to understand it, and our efforts to combat it.
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Patriarchys over time and space
- By Lynda Dickson on 12-22-23
By: Angela Saini
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Evolution for Everyone
- How Darwin's Theory Can Change the Way We Think About Our Lives
- By: David Sloan Wilson
- Narrated by: René Ruiz
- Length: 13 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
-
Story
With stories that entertain as much as they inform, renowned evolutionist David Sloan Wilson outlines the basic principles of evolution and shows how, when properly understood, they can illuminate the length and breadth of creation, from the origin of life to the nature of religion.
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Everything evolves - really
- By Amazon Customer on 02-23-23
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The Dress Diary
- Secrets from a Victorian Woman's Wardrobe
- By: Kate Strasdin
- Narrated by: Karen Cass
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
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Overall
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Performance
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Story
In 1838, a young woman was given a diary on her wedding day. Collecting snippets of fabric from a range of garments—some her own, others donated by family and friends—she carefully annotated each one, creating a unique record of their lives. Her name was Mrs. Anne Sykes. Nearly two hundred years later, the diary fell into the hands of Kate Strasdin, a fashion historian and museum curator. Using her expertise, Strasdin spent the next six years unraveling the secrets contained within the album's pages, and the lives of the people within.
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Fascinating History
- By Cpm405 on 01-09-24
By: Kate Strasdin
-
The Secrets of Alchemy
- By: Lawrence M. Principe
- Narrated by: Gary Tiedemann
- Length: 8 hrs and 46 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In The Secrets of Alchemy, Lawrence M. Principe, one of the world's leading authorities on the subject, brings alchemy out of the shadows and restores it to its important place in human history and culture. By surveying what alchemy was and how it began, developed, and overlapped with a range of ideas and pursuits, Principe illuminates the practice. He vividly depicts the place of alchemy during its heyday in early modern Europe, and then explores how alchemy has fit into wider views of the cosmos and humanity.
-
-
Brilliant well-researched and witty
- By bukalemun on 12-14-23
-
The Hidden Language of Cats
- How They Have Us at Meow
- By: Sarah Brown PhD
- Narrated by: Helen Keeley
- Length: 6 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
A renowned cat behavior scientist of over thirty years, Dr. Sarah Brown has been at the forefront of research in the field, discovering how cats use tail signals to interact with each other and their owners. Now, she reveals the previously unexplored secrets of cat communication in a book that is both scientifically grounded and utterly delightful.
-
-
get it
- By Jinks on 03-05-24
By: Sarah Brown PhD
-
The Complete Idiot's Guide to Alchemy
- The Magic and Mystery of the Ancient Craft Revealed for Today
- By: Dennis William Hauck
- Narrated by: Kris Dyer
- Length: 11 hrs and 51 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
It's completely understandable if you're in the dark about alchemy. It has been practiced around the world and linked to various religious rites, scientific experiments, and, of course, magic - a series of beliefs and disciplines that defy categorization and definition. The Complete Idiot's Guide to Alchemy demystifies this ancient art with an easy-to-comprehend overview of its history, philosophies, and practices.
-
-
Enlightening!
- By Amazon Customer on 06-12-24
-
The Patriarchs
- The Origins of Inequality
- By: Angela Saini
- Narrated by: Sohm Kapila
- Length: 10 hrs and 25 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
For fans of Sapiens and The Dawn of Everything, a groundbreaking exploration of gendered oppression—its origins, its histories, our attempts to understand it, and our efforts to combat it.
-
-
Patriarchys over time and space
- By Lynda Dickson on 12-22-23
By: Angela Saini
-
Evolution for Everyone
- How Darwin's Theory Can Change the Way We Think About Our Lives
- By: David Sloan Wilson
- Narrated by: René Ruiz
- Length: 13 hrs and 57 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
With stories that entertain as much as they inform, renowned evolutionist David Sloan Wilson outlines the basic principles of evolution and shows how, when properly understood, they can illuminate the length and breadth of creation, from the origin of life to the nature of religion.
-
-
Everything evolves - really
- By Amazon Customer on 02-23-23
-
The Dress Diary
- Secrets from a Victorian Woman's Wardrobe
- By: Kate Strasdin
- Narrated by: Karen Cass
- Length: 9 hrs and 4 mins
- Unabridged
-
Overall
-
Performance
-
Story
In 1838, a young woman was given a diary on her wedding day. Collecting snippets of fabric from a range of garments—some her own, others donated by family and friends—she carefully annotated each one, creating a unique record of their lives. Her name was Mrs. Anne Sykes. Nearly two hundred years later, the diary fell into the hands of Kate Strasdin, a fashion historian and museum curator. Using her expertise, Strasdin spent the next six years unraveling the secrets contained within the album's pages, and the lives of the people within.
-
-
Fascinating History
- By Cpm405 on 01-09-24
By: Kate Strasdin
What listeners say about You'll Do
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amy
- 09-26-24
Excellent!
You'll Do is a well written and comprehensive examination of marriage both historically and in the modern US. I highly enjoyed it, learned a lot, and highly recommend it.
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- CKNreads
- 01-05-25
Informative!
I enjoyed this book. The writing with a nicely compelling flow. It was filled with gems of information. Some things were upsetting to learn, but worth knowing nonetheless.
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- K. Reynoso
- 04-03-24
Good d we educational book
In this book you will learn some history from the beginning of marriage history until today’s issues with it. I personally don’t agree with all the way government handles marriage “rights” . I don’t agree that government forces a person to give alimony to a healthy capable ex spouse. I think alimony should be given but only for more than a fair considerate time to find a job. Government is not making marriage a good deal anymore because most people are not ultra rich and some one will end being very hurt. This book helps with seeing the few things about marriage that still work but you will end pondering about if it is worth to take such a serious step when the odds of a divorce are so high.
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