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You'll Do
A History of Marrying for Reasons Other Than Love
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Narrated by:
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Leigh Serling
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By:
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Marcia A. Zug
About this listen
An illuminating and thought-provoking examination of the uniquely American institution of marriage, from the Colonial era through the #MeToo age
Perfect for fans of Rebecca Solnit and Rebecca Traister
Americans hold marriage in such high esteem that we push people toward it, reward them for taking part in it, and fetishize its benefits to the point that we routinely ignore or excuse bad behavior and societal ills in the name of protecting and promoting it.
In eras of slavery and segregation, Blacks sometimes gained white legal status through marriage.
Laws have been designed to encourage people to marry so that certain societal benefits could be achieved: the population would increase, women would have financial security, children would be cared for, and immigrants would have familial connections.
As late as the Great Depression, poor young women were encouraged to marry aged Civil War veterans for lifetime pensions.
The widely overlooked problem with this tradition is that individuals and society have relied on marriage to address or dismiss a range of injustices and inequities, from gender- and race-based discrimination, sexual violence, and predation to unequal financial treatment.
One of the most persuasive arguments against women's right to vote was that marrying and influencing their husband's choices was just as meaningful, if not better.
Through revealing storytelling, Zug builds a compelling case that when marriage is touted as “the solution” to such problems, it absolves the government, and society, of the responsibility for directly addressing them.
©2024 Marcia A. Zug (P)2024 Steerforth Press LLCListeners also enjoyed...
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Critic reviews
“Gold diggers, bigamists, prenups, breach of promise suits, alimony: it's all here, wrapped up in an engaging and accessible account." — Booklist
"An engrossing account of why individuals have married for reasons other than love and often made that work, but Zug also warns of the dangers to our most vulnerable citizens when policy-makers make legal rights and social benefits that should be available to all contingent on marriage." — Stephanie Coontz, author of Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage
“You'll Do is a wonderfully fun romp through the history of why people marry. Zug weaves together colonial incest laws, her great-aunt Rosie's marriage designed to help a man escape the Nazis, Saturday Night Live, Jane Austen, contemporary welfare policy -- and more -- to tell the story of the marital bargain. While the common assumption is that people should only marry for love, Zug explains why so many people do not -- and why that decision makes sense.” — Naomi Cahn, author of Marriage Markets
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I have discovered a group of women who refuse to be exploited, are immune to manipulation, and who never settle in the name of love. These ladies know what they want and take what they want by beating men at their own game. Utilizing the secrets exposed in this book, these women gain power, money, and status. Men call them gold diggers, women call them hos, but they call themselves winners. This is the book that society doesn't want you to listen to….
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I spent $24,000 in 4 months
- By B.M. on 10-06-18
By: G. L. Lambert
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Ali in Me
- By: Mercury Studios, Treefort Media
- Narrated by: Lonnie Ali, John Ramsey
- Length: 3 hrs and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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Muhammad Ali, never afraid to express himself loudly and boldly, stays true to form in Ali in Me, an eight-part audio series that explores his life and legacy, guided by his own words through never-before-heard audio recordings. Hosted by Muhammad’s widow, Lonnie Ali, and his close friend, award-winning broadcaster John Ramsey, Ali in Me goes beyond the boxing ring to delve deeply into the extraordinary life and lasting contributions The Champ made to individuals around the world.
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He went hard on everything, especially love
- By 🔥 Phx17 🔥 on 01-31-25
By: Mercury Studios, and others
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Helter Skelter
- The True Story of the Manson Murders
- By: Vincent Bugliosi, Curt Gentry
- Narrated by: Scott Brick
- Length: 26 hrs and 29 mins
- Unabridged
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Prosecuting attorney in the Manson trial Vincent Bugliosi held a unique insider's position in one of the most baffling and horrifying cases of the 20th century: the cold-blooded Tate-LaBianca murders carried out by Charles Manson and four of his followers. What motivated Manson in his seemingly mindless selection of victims, and what was his hold over the young women who obeyed his orders? Now available for the first time in unabridged audio, the gripping story of this famous and haunting crime is brought to life by acclaimed narrator Scott Brick.
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Everything I remembered about the case was wrong..
- By karen on 06-22-12
By: Vincent Bugliosi, and others
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Medieval Myths & Mysteries
- By: Dorsey Armstrong, The Great Courses
- Narrated by: Dorsey Armstrong
- Length: 5 hrs and 6 mins
- Original Recording
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The 10 enlightening (and often humorous) lectures of Medieval Myths and Mysteries will show you how far from the “dark” times of legend these centuries were. Uncover the facts about the Knights Templar. Reveal the truth behind the tales of legendary creatures like the Questing Beast and the unicorn. Trace the events of the Black Death and the ways it altered the world in its wake, and much more. With Professor Armstrong, you will dig deep into the ways that later generations reshaped the narrative of the medieval years and perpetuated the myths.
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Interesting, but centered on Britain
- By Ximena on 04-10-20
By: Dorsey Armstrong, and others
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The Thin Line
- Hope vs. Reality in the Era of Weight-Loss Drugs
- By: Scaachi Koul
- Narrated by: Scaachi Koul
- Length: 4 hrs and 31 mins
- Original Recording
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Over the next five years, millions of more Americans are expected to take Ozempic and other GLP-1 weight-loss drugs, which are rapidly being recognized as the miracle drugs of this century. If you’re not on them, you’ll probably know someone who is. What are the implications of the widespread use of these drugs, both on our bodies and our society? In this show, you’ll meet people across America who are either taking the jab or thinking about it, and the shocking intentional and unintentional results they are seeing.
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More balanced than expected and very comprehensive
- By Summer Rodriguez on 01-03-25
By: Scaachi Koul
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I Thought It Was Just Me (but it isn’t)
- Telling the Truth about Perfectionism, Inadequacy, and Power
- By: Brené Brown
- Narrated by: Lauren Fortgang
- Length: 10 hrs and 44 mins
- Unabridged
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Based on seven years of ground-breaking research and hundreds of interviews, I Thought It Was Just Me shines a long-overdue light on an important truth: Our imperfections are what connect us to each other and to our humanity. Our vulnerabilities are not weaknesses; they are powerful reminders to keep our hearts and minds open to the reality that we're all in this together.
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I'm sure its great if you are a mother ....
- By Leslie A Hill on 08-09-11
By: Brené Brown
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Mythology: Mega Collection
- Classic Stories from the Greek, Celtic, Norse, Japanese, Hindu, Chinese, Mesopotamian and Egyptian Mythology
- By: Scott Lewis
- Narrated by: Madison Niederhauser, Oliver Hunt
- Length: 31 hrs and 37 mins
- Unabridged
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Do you know how many wives Zeus had? Or how the famous Trojan War was caused by one beautiful lady? Or how Thor got his hammer? Give your imagination a real treat. This Mega Mythology Collection of eight audiobooks is for you....
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An interesting set of introductions.
- By Kevin Potter on 05-30-19
By: Scott Lewis
What listeners say about You'll Do
Average customer ratingsReviews - Please select the tabs below to change the source of reviews.
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- Amy
- 09-26-24
Excellent!
You'll Do is a well written and comprehensive examination of marriage both historically and in the modern US. I highly enjoyed it, learned a lot, and highly recommend it.
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- CKNreads
- 01-05-25
Informative!
I enjoyed this book. The writing with a nicely compelling flow. It was filled with gems of information. Some things were upsetting to learn, but worth knowing nonetheless.
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- K. Reynoso
- 04-03-24
Good d we educational book
In this book you will learn some history from the beginning of marriage history until today’s issues with it. I personally don’t agree with all the way government handles marriage “rights” . I don’t agree that government forces a person to give alimony to a healthy capable ex spouse. I think alimony should be given but only for more than a fair considerate time to find a job. Government is not making marriage a good deal anymore because most people are not ultra rich and some one will end being very hurt. This book helps with seeing the few things about marriage that still work but you will end pondering about if it is worth to take such a serious step when the odds of a divorce are so high.
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