In today’s episode, we explore and break down idealization and devaluation. Our co-hosts, Melanie Jones and Dr. Gregory Serfer, offer their perspectives on both sides of the coin, followed by insights into how these patterns affect relationships. Dr. Serfer examines their connection, causes, and presence in other mental health conditions.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Dr. Gregory Serfer: contact@gregoryserfer.com

Book: “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Quora: https://www.quora.com/profile/Gregory-Serfer

• Melanie Jones: emmjay993@yahoo.com

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Mel’s Perspective: Idealization and Devaluation
• 4:32 Nicole’s Opening Statement and Beginning Pleasantries
• 5:49 A Breakdown of Idealization (and Idolization)
• 12:52 A Breakdown of Devaluation
• 18:48 Dr. Serfer’s Personal Perspective on Devaluation
• 24:05 Devaluation in Relationships (Parental, Platonic, Romantic, etc)
• 33:06 Idealization and Devaluation In Other Mental Conditions
• 34:14 Causes of Devaluation a.k.a Down the Rabbit Hole
• 36:04 Does Devaluation Interconnect with Idealization?
• 38:35 Trusting Your Gut During Idealization
• 44:38 The Extremes of Idealization and Devaluation
• 49:32 Preservation of Your Mental Health Through Discarding
• 52:48 How Permanent Is the Discard and Split?
• 56:10 Dissociation During A Split or Discard
• 1:03:29 Dr. Serfer’s and Mel’s Final Words
• 1:06:16 Meaning Behind the Term, BPD (continued)

(End of Interview)

• 1:13:38 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 1:14:00 BPD Daily Mantra
• 1:14:17 Outro
• 1:15:37 “When I’m In Your Arms” by Cleo Sol: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=hp0KiJs0S5g

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
• ❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Credits:

Hosts: Nicole Darby, Dr.Gregory Serfer, Melanie Jones, and Handsome Dan

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle