In today’s episode, Nicole has an insightful conversation with author Emi Nietfeld about her journey, mental health advocacy, and her book Acceptance. She shares her experience living with mental health challenges, including having features of BPD, discussing how labels impacted her work and recovery. We also explore her thoughts on mental health tools, societal shame, and the changes needed for greater acceptance of mental health struggles.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Emi Nietfeld

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eminietfeld/

Substack: https://substack.com/@eminietfeld

Book: “Acceptance”: https://tr.ee/ajpdA_8hZb (provides all links)

Website: https://www.eminietfeld.com

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/eminietfeld

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Intro to Emi Nietfeld’s Interview
• 1:32 Beginning Pleasantries and Emma's Introduction
• 3:06 Emily's Journey and Her Motivation for Her Book
• 5:20 Did You Have Any Advocates For Mental Health at That Time?
• 7:09 Were You Open to The Recovery Process? (Tools, Medication, etc)
• 11:07 Emi’s Experience with Features of BPD
• 14:54 How Did The Labels Affect Your Work Environment?
• 18:43 Where Are You Now In Your Journey?
• 23:57 Emi’s Perspective: What Needs To Change For Acceptance and Decrease Shame In Society?
• 27:44 Emi’s Final Words

(End of Interview)

• 28:33 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 28:55 BPD Daily Mantra
• 29:12 Outro
• 30:29 “Acceptance” by Synkro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dNht9Zr0CE

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
• ❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Credits:

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Production & Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In today’s episode, we explore and break down idealization and devaluation. Our co-hosts, Melanie Jones and Dr. Gregory Serfer, offer their perspectives on both sides of the coin, followed by insights into how these patterns affect relationships. Dr. Serfer examines their connection, causes, and presence in other mental health conditions.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Dr. Gregory Serfer: contact@gregoryserfer.com

Book: “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Quora: https://www.quora.com/profile/Gregory-Serfer

• Melanie Jones: emmjay993@yahoo.com

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Mel’s Perspective: Idealization and Devaluation
• 4:32 Nicole’s Opening Statement and Beginning Pleasantries
• 5:49 A Breakdown of Idealization (and Idolization)
• 12:52 A Breakdown of Devaluation
• 18:48 Dr. Serfer’s Personal Perspective on Devaluation
• 24:05 Devaluation in Relationships (Parental, Platonic, Romantic, etc)
• 33:06 Idealization and Devaluation In Other Mental Conditions
• 34:14 Causes of Devaluation a.k.a Down the Rabbit Hole
• 36:04 Does Devaluation Interconnect with Idealization?
• 38:35 Trusting Your Gut During Idealization
• 44:38 The Extremes of Idealization and Devaluation
• 49:32 Preservation of Your Mental Health Through Discarding
• 52:48 How Permanent Is the Discard and Split?
• 56:10 Dissociation During A Split or Discard
• 1:03:29 Dr. Serfer’s and Mel’s Final Words
• 1:06:16 Meaning Behind the Term, BPD (continued)

(End of Interview)

• 1:13:38 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 1:14:00 BPD Daily Mantra
• 1:14:17 Outro
• 1:15:37 “When I’m In Your Arms” by Cleo Sol: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=hp0KiJs0S5g

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
• ❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Credits:

Hosts: Nicole Darby, Dr.Gregory Serfer, Melanie Jones, and Handsome Dan

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In this episode, Nicole and Aseelah explore the complex topic of forgiveness, reflecting on personal experiences and discussing why it's so challenging. They also touch on how spirituality and beliefs influence the ability to forgive. Nicole shares her perspective on navigating forgiveness in her own life. Aseelah also shares her professional insights on the role of forgiveness in our lives and its impact on mental and physical well-being. Whether you have BPD or not, this conversation offers valuable perspectives and tools for reaching a place of healing. Tune in for an insightful exploration of this essential emotional journey.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest: Aseelah El-Amin: https://www.instagram.com/talkptwithseesee/

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:08 Nicole’s Opening Statement and Beginning Pleasantries
• 3:53 What Does Forgiveness Mean?
• 7:11 Why is It Difficult to Forgive?
• 10:23 Is It Easier to Hold A Grudge?
• 12:08 Nicole’s POV: A Time Where You Struggled with Forgiveness
• 19:31 Aseelah’s POV: A Time Where You Struggled with Forgiveness
• 23:38 Did Your Spirituality Affect How You Affect Your Choice to Forgive?
• 28:18 The Philosophy of Forgiveness
• 30:31 Navigating Forgiveness as a pwBPD or A Person Without BPD
• 34:47 Other Strengths To Consider To Get to A Place of Forgiveness
• 37:07 What Would Aseelah’s Clients Think?
• 39:33 More On Spirituality, The Physicality, and The Science of Forgiveness
• 48:31 Aseelah’s Final Words

(End of Interview)

• 50:48 Nicole Closing Statement
• 51:12 BPD Daily Mantra
• 51:28 Outro
• 52:49 “Forgive Them” by Jane Handcock, Harry Simmons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arhT2OSTGlA
• Episode Resources:
  • Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

  ❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

  Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

  • “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

  Connect with the Host:

  Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

  Credits:

  Hosts: Aseelah El-Amin and Nicole Darby

  Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

  Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

  Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

  Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle