Summary

In this conversation, Meli and Liv explore the nuanced definitions of selfishness and selflessness, challenging societal norms that label selfishness as negative. They discuss the importance of self-care and the need for individuals to prioritize their own needs to be able to contribute positively to the world. The conversation delves into childhood conditioning, the people-pleasing epidemic, and the journey from selflessness to a healthier form of selfishness, termed 'selffulness.' Liv shares her personal vows to herself as a powerful example of self-love and commitment to personal growth.

Keywords

selfishness, selflessness, selffulness, personal growth, self-care, childhood conditioning, people-pleasing, balance, relationships, empowerment

Takeaways

• Selfishness and selflessness are two ends of the same spectrum.
• Being selfish can be a form of self-care and empowerment.
• Childhood conditioning often leads to people-pleasing behaviors.
• Finding balance between selflessness and selfishness is crucial for personal growth.
• It's important to check in with oneself before giving to others.
• You can't pour from an empty cup; self-care is essential.
• The journey from selflessness to selfishness can involve a necessary swing.
• Selffulness is about being full enough to give to others authentically.
• Self-love is a vital part of being able to love others well.
• Creating a healed world requires individuals to be selfful.

Sound Bites

• "It's okay to be selfish."
• "We could save the world if each individual person just stopped looking for somebody to save them."
• "You can't give something you don't have."

Chapters

00:00 Defining Selfishness and Selflessness

05:51 The Importance of Self-Care

11:51 Cultural Conditioning and People-Pleasing

19:31 The Swing from Selflessness to Selfishness

27:17 Finding Balance in Relationships

33:45 The Role of Basic Needs

39:19 The Power of Selffullness

51:23 Liv's Vows to Herself

59:12 Outro

(Show notes and captions are AI-assisted. All other content is human-made, original, and proprietary. The fact that we need to make this distinction is WILD!)

Summary

In this engaging conversation, Liv and Meli interview Leola Watkins, the author of Sacred Sex Ed. They explore the themes of sacred sexuality, the journey of reading the book, the importance of tantra, and the dynamics of open relationships. Leola shares her insights on creating safe spaces for sexual exploration and the significance of self-trust in relationships. The discussion also delves into the SPREAD framework for safer sex conversations and the exploration of dark desires. The episode concludes with Leola's purpose behind writing the book and her vision for integrating spirituality and sexuality.

About Leola Watkins

Leola is a Pleasure Priestess & the best-selling author of Sacred Sex Ed, inspiring others to see an integration of sexuality and spirituality. She guides individuals and couples in discovering how life-force energy moves in the body; and more importantly, how to harness this inner-power for a pleasure-filled life that begins with our most intimate relationships and extends to our livelihood and our worldview.

In her early 20s, Leola discovered tantra and shamanic sexuality as modalities to heal her relationship to her body, process past sexual assault, and create a life she loves.

She is now dedicated to guiding others to be turned on by life itself, find God in their body, and seduce the world into a greater good.

Book: https://www.talktantratome.com/book

Website: https://www.talktantratome.com/

IG: @talktantratome

Keywords

Sacred Sex Ed, Tantra, Sexuality, Relationships, Open Relationships, Vulnerability, Healing, Journal Prompts, SPREAD, Community

Takeaways

• Sacred sexuality can be made accessible and playful.
• Vulnerability is the birthplace of magic and love.
• Understanding your own desires is crucial for empowerment.
• The SPREAD framework helps create safety in intimate conversations.
• Self-trust is essential in navigating relationships.
• Tantra is about expansion and liberation.
• Journal prompts can lead to significant breakthroughs.
• Open relationships require clear communication and agreements.
• Exploring dark desires can be empowering when done safely.
• The integration of spirituality and sexuality is vital for healing.

Sound Bites

• "It was a very confronting experience."
• "I wanted to make sacred sexuality more accessible."
• "I am the contributor of this reality."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction to Sacred Sex Ed

03:07 The Journey of Writing the Book

05:59 Personal Experiences and Confrontations

09:14 Understanding Tantra and Vital Life Force Energy

11:58 The Role of Journal Prompts in Self-Discovery

15:14 Navigating Relationships and Authenticity

18:09 Exploring Open Relationships and Jealousy

21:10 The SPREAD Framework for Safer Sex Conversations

27:05 Addressing Taboo Fantasies and Desires

30:02 Finding Community and Play Parties

36:09 The Impact of Sacred Sex Ed

38:48 Future Parenting and Sex Education

01:07:58 Outro

(Show notes and captions are AI-assisted. All other content is human-made, original, and proprietary. The fact that we need to make this distinction is WILD!)

Summary

In this episode of Babe Philosophy, Meli and Liv explore the complex question of whether looks matter in society. They discuss individual perspectives on attractiveness, the role of energy and self-care in how we present ourselves, and the importance of authenticity versus external validation. The conversation delves into the journey of self-acceptance and the impact of self-love on attraction, while also addressing societal beauty standards and the dichotomy of beauty and intelligence. Ultimately, they emphasize that true beauty comes from making choices that align with one's authentic self and the power of self-care in enhancing attractiveness.

Keywords

looks, beauty, self-acceptance, authenticity, self-love, attraction, societal standards, personal experiences, body positivity, self-care

Takeaways

• Looks matter if that person says they matter.
• Self-perception influences how we present ourselves to the world.
• Energy and self-care significantly impact attractiveness.
• Authenticity is more important than conforming to societal standards.
• Self-love is essential for feeling beautiful and attracting others.
• The journey to self-acceptance is complex and personal.
• People can sense when someone is being authentic versus seeking validation.
• True beauty is an expression of one's authentic self.
• Making choices for oneself enhances attractiveness.
• The way we care for ourselves reflects in our physical appearance.

Sound Bites

• "Do looks actually matter?"
• "Looks matter if that person says they matter."
• "It's more of an energetic thing."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction

00:35 The Question of Whether Looks Matter

02:51 The Subjectivity of Attractiveness

04:06 Authenticity and Self-Care in Appearance

07:39 Dressing for Love vs Dressing from Love

28:15 The Power of Authenticity and Self-Expression in Looks

37:08 Choosing What Feels Right for You

40:27 The Complexities of the Body Positivity Movement

43:24 True Beauty Comes from Authentic Choices

48:34 Acceptance and Non-Judgment in Body Positivity

51:14 Outro

(Show notes and captions are AI-assisted. All other content is human-made, original, and proprietary. The fact that we need to make this distinction is WILD!)

Summary

In this mini-episode, Liv and Meli discuss their experiences with codependency and how they have chosen to navigate it. Meli is working through her codependency triggers within a partnership, while Liv is choosing to work on it outside of a partnership. They emphasize the importance of willingness and mutual agreement in a partnership, as well as the need for self-reflection and self-acceptance. They also discuss the concept of clean fuel versus dirty fuel in relationships and the importance of staying soft and open. The key takeaways include having grace for oneself and one's partner, letting things be ugly, and staying soft and open in the process.

Keywords

codependency, partnership, triggers, willingness, mutual agreement, self-reflection, self-acceptance, clean fuel, dirty fuel, grace, staying soft, staying open

Takeaways

• Willingness and mutual agreement are important in navigating codependency within a partnership.
• Self-reflection and self-acceptance are crucial in working through codependency.
• The concept of clean fuel versus dirty fuel in relationships is important to consider.
• Staying soft and open is essential in the process of healing codependency.

Sound Bites

• "Let it be ugly."
• "I am the partner I seek"

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Background

00:49 Choosing Different Paths: Inside vs Outside a Partnership

02:19 The Importance of Willingness and Mutual Agreement in Partnership

04:11 Recognizing and Setting Boundaries for Well-being

08:17 Clean Fuel vs Dirty Fuel: Offering Acts of Service without Expectations

09:31 Staying Soft and Having Grace for Oneself and Their Partner

31:20 Outro

(Show notes and captions are AI-assisted. All other content is human-made, original, and proprietary. The fact that we need to make this distinction is WILD!)

Summary

In this episode, Liv and Meli discuss the concept of the ego and its role in our lives. They explore the idea that the ego is not inherently bad, but rather a necessary part of being human. They emphasize the importance of understanding and integrating the ego, rather than trying to eradicate it. They also discuss the need for external validation and how it relates to the ego. Overall, they encourage listeners to have a healthy relationship with their ego and recognize its role in shaping their identity and experiences. The conversation explores the importance of recognizing and integrating the ego rather than trying to eradicate it. It emphasizes the need to give ourselves permission to have needs and ask for help. Making a mess and taking risks is encouraged as a way to break patterns and learn. The key takeaway is that it's okay to be imperfect and make mistakes, as long as we have the courage to clean up and learn from them.

Keywords

ego, human experience, survival mechanism, external validation, integration, needs, connection, love, ego, integration, needs, asking for help, making a mess, courage, imperfection, learning

Takeaways

• The ego is a survival mechanism that helps us navigate the human world.
• Trying to eradicate the ego is impossible and would mean eradicating our humanity.
• The ego is not inherently bad, but it can lead us astray when we become too attached to its demands.
• It's important to have a healthy relationship with the ego and recognize its role in shaping our identity and experiences.
• External validation is a basic human need, and it's okay to seek it.
• Understanding and integrating the ego is key to living a balanced and fulfilling life. Recognize and integrate the ego instead of trying to eradicate it
• Give yourself permission to have needs and ask for help
• Making a mess and taking risks is essential for growth and breaking patterns
• Embrace imperfection and have the courage to learn and clean up

Sound Bites

• "A more adaptive way of considering the ego is to look at it as a child."
• "We find the middle point where we can say, okay, if I look at my ego as a child, that doesn't quite understand how to approach life holistically yet because they haven't had enough experience."
• "Meditation is this beautiful place for the soul and the ego to meet and have a conversation."
• "I could start to hear the seven-year-old girl that really just wanted her mom to tell her that she's so proud of her."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Weird Mood

06:02 Viewing the Ego as a Child

07:55 Finding the Middle Point with the Ego

11:15 The Fallacy of Eradicating the Ego

15:31 Making an Ally of the Ego

18:54 The Dance Between Ego and External Validation

23:24 The Need for External Validation

27:28 Ego and Needs: Synonymous

32:08 Navigating Ego-Driven Needs

40:30 The Dance of Ego and Soul: Meeting Your Needs

42:47 Permission to Have Needs and Ask for Help

44:32 Breaking Patterns: Doing Something Different

48:17 The Beauty of Making a Mess and Being Incompetent

53:17 Self-Acceptance and Self-Compassion

55:57 Courage to Explore and Embrace All Aspects of Yourself

57:08 Outro

(Show notes and captions are AI-assisted. All other content is human-made, original, and proprietary. The fact that we need to make this distinction is WILD!)

Summary

The conversation explores the concept of conscious coping and the distinction between healthy and unhealthy coping strategies. The hosts share their personal experiences and discuss the importance of being conscious and intentional in our coping mechanisms. They emphasize that there is no coping mechanism that is inherently bad, but it's the intention and the relationship we have with it that determines its impact on our well-being. They also touch on the slippery slope of coping strategies and the need to stay aware of when a coping mechanism becomes maladaptive. Overall, the conversation encourages conscious coping and self-awareness in navigating challenging situations. Conscious coping involves being aware of our coping mechanisms and building consciousness around them. It's about understanding our relationship with substances and activities and making aligned choices based on our context and intentions. It's important to recognize that the energy behind our coping strategies is what matters, not the substances themselves. We can choose to engage in certain behaviors out of love for ourselves or out of a sense of lack, and it's crucial to be mindful of our intentions. It's okay to have human moments and indulge in coping strategies, as long as we maintain awareness and don't let them become the sole source of our well-being.

Keywords

conscious coping, healthy coping, unhealthy coping, intention, self-awareness, coping mechanisms, relationship with substances, aligned choices, intentions, energy, love for oneself, sense of lack, mindfulness, human moments

Takeaways

• Coping strategies can be both healthy and unhealthy, depending on our intention and relationship with them.
• There is no coping mechanism that is inherently bad; it's about how we use it and the impact it has on our well-being.
• Being conscious and intentional in our coping strategies can help us avoid maladaptive patterns and maintain a healthy balance.
• Self-awareness is key in determining whether a coping mechanism is serving us or causing harm. Conscious coping involves being aware of our coping mechanisms and making aligned choices based on our intentions and context.
• The energy behind our coping strategies is what matters, not the substances themselves.
• It's important to be mindful of our intentions and whether we are engaging in certain behaviors out of love for ourselves or out of a sense of lack.
• It's okay to have human moments and indulge in coping strategies, as long as we maintain awareness and don't let them become the sole source of our well-being.

Sound Bites

• "I hope that this lands with one, at least one person who's like, oh my God, I don't have to feel like a fucking psychopath for going through a similar experience."
• "Coping strategies may start out as a coping strategy and then transition into a lifestyle choice."
• "Having is evidence of wanting. If you consistently have an experience in your life where you feel like a piece of shit, you clearly want to feel like a piece of shit."
• "Is going to buy a giant boxed wine and chug that going to create that thing for me? Or, I can go get one glass of wine and have that experience."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Personal Experiences

06:12 Defining Coping and its Purpose

10:36 The Spectrum of Healthy and Unhealthy Coping

19:18 The Role of Internal Conflict in Coping

23:52 Conscious Coping and Evaluating Impact

30:07 Understanding Conscious Coping

33:42 The Impact of Substance Use

36:50 Identifying Unhealthy Coping Patterns

41:28 Finding Healthier Coping Strategies

53:48 Outro

(Show notes and captions are AI-assisted. All other content is human-made, original, and proprietary. The fact that we need to make this distinction is WILD!)

Summary

In this episode, Liv and Meli discuss codependency and their personal experiences with it. They define codependency as feeling dependent on someone else or something outside of oneself for one's well-being. They explore different manifestations of codependency, such as clinginess and neediness, as well as being the 'cool girl' or the 'mother' figure. They also discuss the fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses that can occur in codependent relationships. Liv and Meli share their own experiences of codependency in romantic partnerships and how it has affected their sense of self-worth and abandonment fears. They emphasize the importance of recognizing and addressing codependency in relationships and offer strategies for navigating codependent behaviors. Codependency is a common human tendency that can manifest in various ways. It is not something to be eradicated but rather managed and navigated with grace. Recognizing and acknowledging codependent behaviors is the first step towards creating healthier relationships. Practicing equanimity and being true to oneself while considering the needs of others is key. Shifting agreements rather than breaking them is important for maintaining trust and creating interdependence. Being your word to yourself and showing up for yourself is crucial in breaking the cycle of codependency.

Keywords

codependency, clinginess, neediness, survival instinct, fight, flight, freeze, fawn, abandonment, self-worth, attachment styles, people-pleasing, defensiveness, communication, codependent relationships, equanimity, interdependence, shifting agreements, trust, self-love

Takeaways

• Codependency is feeling dependent on someone else or something outside of oneself for one's well-being.
• Codependency can manifest as clinginess, neediness, or the 'cool girl' persona.
• The fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses are common in codependent relationships.
• Codependency often stems from childhood wounds and can lead to feelings of abandonment and low self-worth.
• Recognizing and addressing codependency is crucial for healthy relationships.
• Open communication and addressing the underlying energetics of codependent behaviors can help navigate them. Codependency is a common human tendency that can be managed and navigated with grace.
• Recognizing and acknowledging codependent behaviors is the first step towards creating healthier relationships.
• Practicing equanimity and being true to oneself while considering the needs of others is key.
• Shifting agreements rather than breaking them is important for maintaining trust and creating interdependence.
• Being your word to yourself and showing up for yourself is crucial in breaking the cycle of codependency.

Sound Bites

• "Codependency is when you feel dependent on somebody else, or something outside of yourself for your state of well-being."
• "Codependency results in people pleasing of some form or other."
• "Codependency is a maladaptive way to respond to this stimulus."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Welcome

01:42 Chapter 1: Understanding Codependency

03:10 Chapter 2: Manifestations of Codependency

09:49 Chapter 3: The Fight, Flight, Freeze, and Fawn Responses

18:01 Chapter 4: Codependency and People-Pleasing

26:52 Chapter 5: Addressing Codependency

35:24 Understanding Codependency

45:18 Managing Codependency

48:26 Self-Love and Interdependence

54:16 Honesty and Vulnerability in Relationships

01:01:27 Effective Communication in Codependent Dynamics

01:04:38 Cleaning Up Codependent Patterns

01:08:14 Codependency as a Path to Freedom

01:08:42 Outro

(Show notes and captions are AI-assisted. All other content is human-made, original, and proprietary. The fact that we need to make this distinction is WILD!)

Summary

In this conversation, Meli and Liv discuss the concept of trauma and what it really means. They explore how the term 'trauma' is often thrown around without a clear understanding of its true definition. They emphasize the importance of making distinctions within the broad category of trauma and not diminishing or overemphasizing one's own experiences. They also discuss the impact of trauma on the body and the need for validation and empathy in healing. The conversation highlights the prevalence of trauma in everyone's lives and the need for a practical and compassionate approach to addressing it. In this conversation, Meli and Liv discuss trauma and its impact on individuals and relationships. They emphasize the importance of understanding trauma on a deeper level, especially when it comes to children. They highlight the need for parents to do their own inner child work in order to effectively support their children. The conversation also explores the concept of generational trauma and how it gets passed down through families. They discuss the significance of recognizing and addressing collective traumas that affect the feminine, such as societal beauty standards. The conversation concludes with practical tools for managing and healing trauma, including offering sight, practicing inquiry, and cultivating self-compassion.

Keywords

trauma, impact, body, validation, empathy, healing, prevalence, practical, compassionate, trauma, children, inner child work, generational trauma, collective trauma, self-compassion, inquiry

Takeaways

• Trauma is often used without a clear understanding of its true definition, leading to a lack of distinction and precision in discussions.
• It is important to make distinctions within the broad category of trauma and not diminish or overemphasize one's own experiences.
• Trauma has a physical impact on the body, whether it is emotional, physical, or mental trauma.
• Validation and empathy are crucial in the healing process, as they allow individuals to feel seen and heard.
• Trauma is a universal experience, and it is important to recognize its prevalence in everyone's lives.
• A practical and compassionate approach is needed to address trauma and support healing.
• Understanding trauma on a deeper level is crucial, especially when it comes to children who may not be able to articulate their experiences.
• Parents need to do their own inner child work in order to effectively support their children through trauma.
• Generational trauma is passed down through families and can have a significant impact on individuals.
• Collective traumas, such as societal beauty standards, affect the feminine and persist through generations.
• Practical tools for managing and healing trauma include offering sight, practicing inquiry, and cultivating self-compassion.

Sound Bites

• "How you relate to the thing is where all the juice is."
• "Trauma is essentially unresolved conflict."
• "Children are just feeling rough and raw, and they're just in the experience."
• "As within, so without, as above, so below."
• "Because of her trauma, my mom might see my emotions, even when I'm a child, as manipulative."

Chapters

00:00 Introduction: What is Trauma?

02:20 Understanding the True Definition of Trauma

05:18 Making Distinctions Within the Broad Category of Trauma

09:12 The Impact of Trauma on the Body

11:08 The Importance of Validation and Empathy in Healing

19:25 Recognizing the Prevalence of Trauma

25:04 Taking a Practical and Compassionate Approach to Trauma

34:29 Understanding and Supporting Children's Trauma

37:36 The Impact of Generational Trauma

49:20 Collective Traumas and the Feminine

01:02:56 Practical Tools for Managing and Healing Trauma

(Show notes and captions are AI-assisted. All other content is human-made, original, and proprietary. The fact that we need to make this distinction is WILD!)