In this probing episode, Kirk and Kraig debate whether aliens are living among us! Is Earth just too damn boring to draw the attention of any higher intelligent beings, or are we a beacon of freedom calling across the black void of space to any potential new citizen willing to drop $5 million on a Trump Gold Card? Kirk beams in with cold, hard logic, insisting Earth is just the Arby’s of the galaxy - unremarkable, unseemly, and diarrhea-inducing. Meanwhile, Kraig goes full tinfoil patriot, declaring that aliens are absolutely among us because they want to live in the greatest country in the universe - the good ol' US of A! These clowns give Mulder and Scully a run for their money in the sexual tension department, and the inane arguments are enough to make ALF want to stop eating pussy cats all together, on this week's Mass Debate!

In this week’s Mass Debate, it's candy-coated chaos as special guest Congressman Andy touts the chill, nut-stuffed charm of Yellow Peanut M&M, while Kraig swears by Red’s alleged “alluring attitude” — both hilariously convinced that Red is the seductive siren of the candy aisle. They spend the entire debate trading half-baked, sugar-rushed arguments based on their mutual Mandela Effect before Kirk crashes the Hung Jury segment with a hard dose of fact-checking reality that melts their claims faster than Green M&Ms in Jed's mouth. Forced to pivot, the boys scramble for new angles, proving they’re willing to twist any narrative to get their sweet victory — because in this debate, the only thing thicker than the candy shell is the bullshit.

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In this heated, frozen treat face-off, Jed goes full Willy Wonka and damn near ice-creams himself for Team Chocolate, praising its sexy compatibility with every topping imaginable while mocking vanilla as the sad, lonely flavor no one actually orders on purpose; meanwhile, Kirk channels his inner Bob Ross to paint vanilla as the pure, artistic blank canvas of our sweet dreams, waxing poetic about personal expression and flaunting his “jimmies" for all to see. Chaos ensues when G-man, the self-appointed constitutional scholar, tries to filibuster with the 14th Amendment before moderator Kraig bangs the gavel and screams in a rich and creamy southern accent, “You scream, I scream, we all scream...in laughter for this week's Mass Debate!”