For many people, hearing “couples therapy” brings up the idea of a relationship being in crisis or on the brink of ending – and while couples therapy can be impactful in those cases, there is so much more to it and so many other circumstances where it can be beneficial. In this episode, Valerie and Emerson get into what couples therapy really is, when it’s helpful, when it’s not helpful, and suggestions for what to look for if you’re interested in couples therapy.

This episode covers:

• 00:03:23 - Tea & Crumpets: Zumba at the YMCA + Harmen Hoek
• 00:06:53 - The Lore: Val’s experience with couples therapy as a client
• 00:14:46 - The DSM: What Couples Therapy Really Is
• 00:53:20 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 00:55:27 - Em Pick: "A Thousand Trees" by Stereophonics
• 00:57:13 - Val Pick: "In Keeping Secrets of Earth: 3" by Coheed & Cambria
• 00:58:31 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How Massachusetts became the only state to reduce food waste + how a 90 year old woman has saved over 10,000 animals

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• Harmen Hoek
• A Thousand Trees- by Stereophonics
• In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 - by Coheed and Cambria
• Waste not, want not? How Massachusetts became the only state to reduce food waste
• 90 year old woman has saved over 10,000 animals
• Gottman Method
• Emotion Focused Therapy
• Imago
• RLT
• PACT

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit

Despite misinformed pop culture statements, OCD isn’t a punchline—it’s a chronic brain loop that can be incredibly challenging for individuals to receive the care they need. In this episode, Val and Em get into the ins-and-outs of OCD, including suggestions for folks who are struggling with it, as well as folks who have a friend or loved one who is struggling. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff including TV recs and some hopeful headlines – like a rancher’s dog rescuing an infant 🥹

This episode covers:

• 04:40 - Tea & Crumpets: The Last of Us + Good American Family
• 08:07 - Step Into My Office: Is it just overthinking or is it OCD?
• 12:53 - The DSM: Why OCD Is NOT Just Being “So Organized”
• 36:37 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 40:50 - Val’s Pick: "Leave" by Glen Hansard (Live at Stubb's BBQ)
• 43:50 - Em’s Pick: "twilight zone" by Ariana Grande
• 45:56 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Hundreds of volunteers helping an indie bookseller move spaces + a rancher’s dog leading an infant to safety

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• Long durations from symptom onset to diagnosis and from diagnosis to treatment in obsessive-compulsive disorder: A retrospective self-report study
• Thriving in Relationships When You Have OCD book
• Hundreds of Volunteers Form a Human Chain to Get 9,000 Books to New Location for Indie Bookstore
• A true good boy: rancher’s dog leads two-year-old Arizona child to safety
• Glen Hansard "Leave" - Live at Stubb's BBQ
• "twilight zone" by Ariana Grande

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG:

If you’ve ever struggled with a rough inner critic, you’re not alone. While the judgments of the world can certainly get in the way of living your best life, we’re often our own worst enemies. But the good news is that Valerie and Emerson have you covered with a deep dive into the psychology of self-criticism and tips for how to navigate it. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff, like what “Queening Out” means 💁🏻‍♀️

This episode covers:

• 04:21 - Tea & Crumpets: Book Lovers by Emily Henry and Dense Bean Salad
• 07:41 - Step Into My Office: Navigating shame for not “being productive”
• 10:58 - The DSM: Let’s Talk About The The Inner Critic
• 37:55 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 39:14 - Emerson Pick: "Leave (Get Out)" by JoJo
• 40:23 - Valerie Pick: "Grace" by Conventional Wisdom
• 45:50 - Wait...What? - Queening Out
• 47:19 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Cory Booker + Expanded Emergency Contraceptive Access in England

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• Book Lovers by Emily Henry
• Second Arrow of Suffering Principle
• Leave (Get Out) by JoJo
• Grace by Conventional Wisdom
• @posterjournal on IG
• Cory Booker segment
• Morning after pill to be offered without charge in pharmacies across England

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.