For many people, hearing “couples therapy” brings up the idea of a relationship being in crisis or on the brink of ending – and while couples therapy can be impactful in those cases, there is so much more to it and so many other circumstances where it can be beneficial. In this episode, Valerie and Emerson get into what couples therapy really is, when it’s helpful, when it’s not helpful, and suggestions for what to look for if you’re interested in couples therapy.

This episode covers:

• 00:03:23 - Tea & Crumpets: Zumba at the YMCA + Harmen Hoek
• 00:06:53 - The Lore: Val’s experience with couples therapy as a client
• 00:14:46 - The DSM: What Couples Therapy Really Is
• 00:53:20 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 00:55:27 - Em Pick: "A Thousand Trees" by Stereophonics
• 00:57:13 - Val Pick: "In Keeping Secrets of Earth: 3" by Coheed & Cambria
• 00:58:31 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: How Massachusetts became the only state to reduce food waste + how a 90 year old woman has saved over 10,000 animals

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• Harmen Hoek
• A Thousand Trees- by Stereophonics
• In Keeping Secrets of Silent Earth: 3 - by Coheed and Cambria
• Waste not, want not? How Massachusetts became the only state to reduce food waste
• 90 year old woman has saved over 10,000 animals
• Gottman Method
• Emotion Focused Therapy
• Imago
• RLT
• PACT

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit

Despite misinformed pop culture statements, OCD isn’t a punchline—it’s a chronic brain loop that can be incredibly challenging for individuals to receive the care they need. In this episode, Val and Em get into the ins-and-outs of OCD, including suggestions for folks who are struggling with it, as well as folks who have a friend or loved one who is struggling. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff including TV recs and some hopeful headlines – like a rancher’s dog rescuing an infant 🥹

This episode covers:

• 04:40 - Tea & Crumpets: The Last of Us + Good American Family
• 08:07 - Step Into My Office: Is it just overthinking or is it OCD?
• 12:53 - The DSM: Why OCD Is NOT Just Being “So Organized”
• 36:37 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 40:50 - Val’s Pick: "Leave" by Glen Hansard (Live at Stubb's BBQ)
• 43:50 - Em’s Pick: "twilight zone" by Ariana Grande
• 45:56 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Hundreds of volunteers helping an indie bookseller move spaces + a rancher’s dog leading an infant to safety

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• Long durations from symptom onset to diagnosis and from diagnosis to treatment in obsessive-compulsive disorder: A retrospective self-report study
• Thriving in Relationships When You Have OCD book
• Hundreds of Volunteers Form a Human Chain to Get 9,000 Books to New Location for Indie Bookstore
• A true good boy: rancher’s dog leads two-year-old Arizona child to safety
• Glen Hansard "Leave" - Live at Stubb's BBQ
• "twilight zone" by Ariana Grande

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG:

If you’ve ever struggled with a rough inner critic, you’re not alone. While the judgments of the world can certainly get in the way of living your best life, we’re often our own worst enemies. But the good news is that Valerie and Emerson have you covered with a deep dive into the psychology of self-criticism and tips for how to navigate it. And, as always, we get into plenty of other fun stuff, like what “Queening Out” means 💁🏻‍♀️

This episode covers:

• 04:21 - Tea & Crumpets: Book Lovers by Emily Henry and Dense Bean Salad
• 07:41 - Step Into My Office: Navigating shame for not “being productive”
• 10:58 - The DSM: Let’s Talk About The The Inner Critic
• 37:55 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 39:14 - Emerson Pick: "Leave (Get Out)" by JoJo
• 40:23 - Valerie Pick: "Grace" by Conventional Wisdom
• 45:50 - Wait...What? - Queening Out
• 47:19 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Cory Booker + Expanded Emergency Contraceptive Access in England

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• Book Lovers by Emily Henry
• Second Arrow of Suffering Principle
• Leave (Get Out) by JoJo
• Grace by Conventional Wisdom
• @posterjournal on IG
• Cory Booker segment
• Morning after pill to be offered without charge in pharmacies across England

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

If you’ve struggled to build or maintain friendships as an adult, you’re not alone – and in this episode, we’ve got you covered!

This episode covers:

• 02:20 - Tea & Crumpets: Adolescence on Netflix + Lights On audio documentary
• 07:44 - Step Into My Office: Tips for a fizzling friendship
• 12:41 - The DSM: Seeking/Building Adult Friendships in these trying times
• 32:41 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY!
• 34:16 - Val’s Pick: "Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C
• 35:03 - Em’s Pick: "Count on Me" by Bruno Mars
• 35:12 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Gene therapy for sickle cell anemia + a trapped dolphin galvanizing a cleanup crew

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• Lights on audio documentary
• “Math Lady” meme
• Adolescence on Netflix
• Intergenerational relationships article
• Graduation (Friends Forever) by Vitamin C
• Count on Me by Bruno Mars
• Ground Breaking Gene Therapy Treatment Cured Sickle Cell Anemia
• A dolphin trapped in a Florida waterway galvanized this cleanup team

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Today’s episode is so exciting as we have our first guest external to The Gaia Center – the phenomenal Jayne Mattingly.

JAYNE MATTINGLY is a disability advocate and eating disorder helping professional. She is also the Founder of the non-for-profit The AND Initiative, which aims to provide inspiration, advocacy, resources, support, and the gifting mobility aids to those with chronic illness and physical disabilities. Jayne lives in South Carolina with her husband and pets.Through her personal experiences and in sharing the stories from everyday people, Jayne illustrates that our body has not and will never be against us. Her new book, THIS IS BODY GRIEF is where we begin.

This episode covers:

• 02:17 - Tea & Crumpets: Apple Cider Vinegar on Netflix, Structured app, and Kendrick Lamar at the Superbowl Halftime Show
• 11:10 - Step Into My Office: Puberty and all the feels it brings
• 17:57 - The Lore: Jayne’s experiences with menopause in her 30s
• 25:00 - The DSM: Body Grief
• 50:04 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAY! "Supergirl" by Krystal Harris

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• Supergirl by Krystal Harris
• Apple Cider Vinegar on Netflix
• Structured app

Connect with Jayne Mattingly:

• Website: https://www.jaynemattingly.com/
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaynemattingly/?hl=en
• Buy THIS IS BODY GRIEF: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/740125/this-is-body-grief-by-jayne-mattingly/

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

In this week’s episode, Valerie and Emerson are coming at ya live from the corner of a hotel by the Nashville airport thanks to some less than stellar weather before they head to a hypnotherapy training 🤓

The main event in this episode is all things parasocial relationships – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And as always, we get into plenty more fun stuff, including what having “the ick” means and some hopeful headlines.

This episode covers:

• 05:29 - Tea & Crumpets: Nashville Public Library’s Out of County card + Wakes (Ada & Nathan Ketchie)
• 09:09 - Step Into My Office: What to do when you feel guilty for setting boundaries
• 12:45 - The DSM: WTF Are Parasocial Relationships?
• 38:50 - Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY!
• 40:53 - Val pick: "I Miss You" by Incubus
• 43:09 - Em pick: "Love Me More" by Sam Smith
• 43:27 - Wait... What?: The Ick
• 48:55 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix: Michael Jordan opens another clinic for underserved populations + Can an unlikely love story overcome divisions in Colombia?

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• http://wakes.life
• Incubus - I Miss You
• Sam Smith - Love Me More
• Michael Jordan opens another clinic for underserved populations
• Can an unlikely love story overcome divisions in Colombia?

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Conversations about ADHD (some helpful, some the complete opposite) are practically everywhere in our current world. In this episode, Val and Emerson take a deep dive into what ADHD really is, beyond what short form content often misses. Whether you have ADHD, think you might have ADHD, love someone with ADHD, or are just curious about WTF it is, this episode is for you!

This episode covers:

• 01:17 - Random recent hyperfixations
• 03:30 - Tea & Crumpets - Reading ambience music on YouTube + technology boundaries/the joy of missing out
• 08:38 - Step Into My Office: Struggling to read an adult despite reading for hours on end as a kid
• 14:43 - The DSM - All Things ADHD
• 46:39 - Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY!
• 47:42 - Em Pick: "ADHD" by Mae Stephens
• 50:36 - Val Pick: "Where Is My Mind?" by The Pixies
• 51:18 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix - Stories to Unite Bangladesh + Cats with arthritis wearing beanies

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• JOMO app
• The Comfort Book by Matt Haig
• Stolen Focus book
• ADHD by Mae Stephens
• Where Is My Mind? by The Pixies
• Stories to Unite Bangladesh
• Cats with arthritis are wearing beanies!!

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.

Ahhhh, sleep. The thing we spend a third of our life doing and that many people don’t get enough of – grab those jammies and eye masks and let’s talk about sleep!

This episode covers:

• 01:59 - Tea & Crumpets: From Here to the Great Unknown + Activations App
• 06:25 - Step Into My Office: When work struggles seep into our personal lives
• 11:13 - The DSM: Talking about all things sleep
• 40:48 - Now That's What I Call...OKAAAAAY!
• 41:50 - Em Pick: "Adore You" by Miley Cyrus
• 43:58 - Val Pick: "Dante's Prayer" by Loreena McKennitt
• 44:24 - Wait… What?! (~the sleep edition~) - wild, viral bedtime routines
• 46:32 - Fire Dumpster Phoenix - A retired bishop transforms guns into garden tools to help youths envision peace and an entrepreneur in Tanzania transforms cement bags into solar-charged backpack to help children read at night

Resources + Stuff Mentioned in This Episode:

• Brain Basics - Understanding Sleep
• Study from NIH National Library of Medicine
• National Sleep Foundation
• Adore You by Miley Cyrus
• Dante’s Prayer by Loreena McKennitt
• A retired bishop transforms guns into garden tools to help youths envision peace
• Entrepreneur in Tanzania transforms cement bags into solar-charged backpack to help children read at night

Connect with Us:

• Send a story or ask for advice: butforrealpod@gmail.com
• But For Real on IG: @butforrealpod
• Now That's What I Call... OKAAAAY Playlist
• The Gaia Center on IG: @thegaiacenter
• Val on IG: @valkaymartin
• The Gaia Center website: www.gaiacenter.co

DISCLAIMER: But For Real Podcast is not a substitute for individualized mental health treatment or healthcare. This podcast is solely for entertainment and educational purposes. If you are in crisis, please utilize crisis support services, such as the Crisis Text Line (Text START to 741741 in the US) or the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: (Call 988 in the US), or visit www.findahelpline.com for international resources.