It’s the season of love… or the season of absolute torture, depending on who you ask.

In this debut episode, Kelsey and Rebecca get stuck into their most chaotic, scandalous, and jaw-dropping Valentine’s Day experiences. They’ve dealt with cheating exes, full-blown emotional terrorists, and the kind of men who belong in case studies. Kelsey is actually looking forward to Valentine’s this year, while Rebecca is trying (and failing) to recall a single romantic experience that didn’t end in absolute carnage.

And if that wasn’t enough, Swarovski is out here acting like Valentine’s Day is a national emergency, sending dramatic warning emails letting people “opt out” of their deeply triggering marketing, because apparently, singleness is something you need to be protected from.

Oh, and Kelsey’s first crush? Damien from The Den. Make of that what you will.

It’s bold, hilarious, and the perfect episode to survive the most cursed holiday of the year. Whether you’re in love, single, or just here for the scandal, this one’s for you.

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Irrational fears, everyone has them, but some are more unhinged than others.

Before getting into the madness, Rebecca shares a shambolic leftover story from Episode 1, because apparently, her Valentine’s disasters didn’t end there. This one involves an ex, a 5-minute reunion in Killarney, and the absolute state of a “To My Girlfriend” card from a man who was, in fact, not her boyfriend (nor would he ever be). Naturally, this reminds Kelsey of the opposite nightmare, an ex who actually was her boyfriend but handed her a birthday card that read “To My Friend.”

Then, the girls dive into irrational fears, and a clear pattern emerges: Rebecca’s are catastrophic, life-threatening and straight out of a Final Destination movie, while Kelsey’s are… butterflies and jelly. Rebecca is convinced she’ll die in a freak bus crash into a river, a bathtub disaster straight out of Coronation Street, or a roof collapsing at any moment, while Kelsey just wants to live in a world where she doesn’t have to think about winged creatures, questionable food textures or the deep psychological horror that is claymation.

It’s deranged, outrageous, and full of non stop laughter - if nothing else, at least you’ll feel less mad about your own irrational fears.

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First kisses. Cringey, terrifying, and in some cases, highly organised. Rebecca recalls her militant first shift, because at that age, you just had to get it over with. Meanwhile, Kelsey’s was peak Irish culture: at the back of the bus, obviously.

Then, somehow, they end up discussing Sir Tom Jones (hear Rebecca out), Kelsey relives how Rebecca ruined Sabrina Carpenter’s Espresso within hours of its release, and they get slightly derailed by the fact that Viagra is freely available, while women can’t even get antibiotics for basic health issues.

Oh, and Rebecca might have a very controversial take on Paul Mescal’s level of stardom. You’ve been warned. No plan, no theme, just an absolute scream and questionable opinions.

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Lent, Mardi Gras, and Rebecca questioning why people willingly deprive themselves of things when life is already hard enough.

Kelsey and Rebecca are still in London after a nice, civilised family dinner, but civility goes out the window the second they hit record.

Rebecca is spiralling over her addictive tendencies, which now include Rescue Remedy, Vicks MicroMist, and aggressively vaping for no reason. She knows she should quit, but it’s not looking likely. Meanwhile, Kelsey can’t cope with Elon Musk’s obsession with repopulating the planet and is considering giving up her little sweet treat for Lent. Rebecca, on the other hand, is giving up absolutely nothing because she simply doesn’t believe in suffering.

Then it’s Mardi Gras talk, where the beads-for-boobs tradition gets discussed in great detail. Rebecca reckons if she took her top off, not a single soul would notice, while Kelsey is fairly certain she’d accidentally flatten three people. This naturally (obviously?) leads to a Would-You-Rather about giving up food or sex. Rebecca’s main concern? Making sure that even if she couldn’t eat, her life would be sustained. Kelsey? Weighing up the pros and cons.

Kelsey accidentally launches an ASMR career, Rebecca is somehow running for Mayor of Fermoy, and both of them are off to The Prince of Wales for a pint, because this much nonsense requires refreshments.

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It’s St. Patrick’s week, which means Kelsey and Rebecca are embracing their Irishness, well, as much as they can while sitting in two different countries.

Rebecca is sipping a cocktail in a hotel robe in Rome, but it hasn’t all been glamorous. The wild ride of grief has hit hard, and seeing things that reminded her of being there with her father has been brutal. Life is peaks and troughs, but honestly? The girls would love a few more peaks.

Meanwhile, Kelsey is in London and reeling from the absolute scandal at London Zoo, where things got so dramatic that staff are no longer allowed to socialise together. A workplace romance involving a hunky llama keeper, an ex, and an actual glassing. Saint Patrick himself could not have predicted this level of madness.

Somehow, the conversation veers from St. Patrick to the Pied Piper, because why stop at one mythical man who led creatures away? The girls also chat about Seachtain na Gaeilge and how it feels to embrace the Irish language (or fail spectacularly at it). It’s Irish pride, Roman spirals, zoo bans, and far too many tangents. Grab a pint, embrace the madness, and enjoy.

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Kelsey and Rebecca are handing out sentences this week - no trial, no mercy. It’s time to lock up the worst offenders of everyday life, from people with zero manners to gym creeps hovering over machines. If you’re guilty, consider this your official warning.

Kelsey kicks things off with a gym-rage rant about men stalking her treadmill time, while Rebecca goes straight for the real criminals… people who don’t say please and thank you. Were you raised in the wild? The girls also tackle the shameless chancers who only text when they need something, disrespectful partners who treat their significant others like household staff, and the energy vampires who hate fun, joy, and anyone who dares enjoy life.

Things take a turn when Kelsey reveals her latest TikTok violation for simply existing with big boobs, and Rebecca refuses to let men off the hook for thinking women can get pregnant 30 days a month. The audacity is at an all-time high, and the girls are not holding back.

If you’ve ever had to endure public transport speakers blasting awful music, been forced into a conversation with someone who never asks how you are, or found yourself raging at a fully grown adult refusing to acknowledge basic human decency, this episode is for you. Expect rants, roasts, and absolutely no parole for the worst offenders.

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This week, Rebecca’s eating raspberries and having epiphanies, while Kelsey is knee-deep in a life-cleansing spring clean. After a wild and wonderful Paddy’s weekend that involved stew, stout, tequila, Crane Lane dancing, English boys with girlfriends, and some late-night smooching from the Scots, the girls are recovering with a healthy dose of reflection, emotional breakthroughs, and a hefty list of jobs they'd be absolutely shite at. From firefighting and plumbing to tattoo artistry and outer space, they figure out exactly why they’re better suited to mics than microscopes.

Rebecca contemplates finally chasing the joy she’s been missing for years, and Kelsey might just move back to Ireland one day. There's an existential crisis, spicy life plans, and a few fart-related revelations. All in all, it’s a big one. Come for the laughs, stay for the emotional breakthroughs and please, for the love of God, email us.

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In this week’s episode of Can’t Cope, the girls are back in full force after a whirlwind weekend in London, complete with pub crawls, missed recordings, and a £9.20 smoothie that changed everything. Kelsey kicks things off with some big life updates, including moving in with her boyfriend and creating the dreamiest home-office-meets-sewing-room-meets-music-studio. Meanwhile, Rebecca’s on a mad one, zipping from London to Tenerife to the Europe Hotel and back again, narrowly dodging emotional breakdowns and daylight savings-induced jetlag. There are celebrity sightings, toilet emergencies, and TikTok tours with Coco the comedian that will have you screaming. If you were wondering how many adventures you can cram into 48 hours, this episode is a masterclass in doing too much and loving every second of it.

But it’s not all banter and busyness. The girls dive deep into the infuriating world of things that should absolutely be free, but aren’t. Think tampons, public toilets, Apple Music, iCloud storage, and paying for the privilege of buying tickets you already can’t afford. Rebecca’s fury at booking fees is palpable, Kelsey’s still haunted by a deli man’s Elizabeth Moss comparison, and both of them are clinging to the last scraps of their bank accounts while railing against capitalism in style. With the perfect balance of rage, humour, and sisterly screams, this episode is a hilarious and heartfelt takedown of all the ways we’re being bled dry. You’ll laugh, you’ll nod in agreement, and you’ll probably check your subscriptions to see just how many 99-cent charges Apple’s been sneaking past you.

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