In this episode, Jaya brings forward a challenge that many of us can relate to - leaving conversations feeling undermined or devalued. She struggles with how to maintain her power and self-worth when people dismiss, invalidate, or fail to recognize her contributions. Her core questions include:

1. How do I keep my power when dealing with people who undermine or devalue me?
2. What language can I use to defend myself?
3. How do I navigate situations where I freeze in response to subtle invalidation?
4. Why do some people always take a contrarian point of view, and how can I respond?
5. How do I handle accusations of being selfish when I set boundaries or withdraw?

Key Takeaways for Listeners

• Shift Your Perspective - Stop seeing these moments as something being done to you and instead as data about the other person's patterns and needs.
• Break the Victim Cycle - Seeing yourself as prey in a predator-prey dynamic keeps you in freeze mode. Recognizing others' behaviors as their habitual strategies helps reclaim your power.
• Practice Self-Connection - Instead of seeking validation from someone who won't provide it, turn inward and self-attune: What am I feeling? What do I need?
• Ask for What You Want - If someone is dismissing your feelings, redirect the conversation by explicitly asking them to focus on your experience rather than rationalizing the other person's behavior.
• Recognize Their Needs - Many people default to giving advice or taking a contrarian stance as a way of meeting their own needs - to feel helpful, competent, or insightful. Seeing this can help depersonalize their behavior.
• Exit With Grace - If someone is Monopolizing the conversation or invalidating you, set a boundary: "I just realized I need to get going." No justification is needed.
• Selfishness vs. Self-Connection - True self-care benefits everyone. When you act from self-connection rather than obligation, you model healthy relational dynamics.

We Discuss:

• 1:01 Opening thoughts
• 3:05 I feel undermined and I freeze. How can I reframe this?
• 12:17 They're not "doing something to me". They're providing data about themselves.
• 14:28 Asking for what you want as a strategy out of the educating
• 20:51 What can I say if I don't want to listen anymore?
• 28:27 What can I say when someone accuses me of being selfish?
• 31:04 Closing Thoughts

Please share with your family and friends!

Use PODCAST50 to get $50 off tuition for my Spring Deep Dive, The Art of Repair Work: From Regret to Resilience. Group starts on March 31st for 8 weeks, so register early to save your space.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

What happens when we truly listen? Not just to respond, but to create space for deeper self-awareness? This rich and layered conversation with Patrice shows how connection-based, collaborative listening results I moving beyond her initial questions into a profound self-discovery process.

By gently reflecting, naming patterns, and holding space, we allow the layers of meaning to emerge organically--leading to clarity and self-trust.

Listen in as we explore:

• How our initial questions often point to deeper truths we haven't fully named yet.
• The role of reflective listening in helping someone find their own answers
• Why deep, presence-based conversations create lasting transformation
• How to listen in a way that fosters connection instead of fixing or advising

Looking for a conversation that honors both depth and autonomy? Listen in now.

Key moments:

• 1:39 Opening thoughts
• 3:03 I want to break a familiar pattern of seeking connection with those who can't offer what I need.
• 10:10 Noticing the presence of both grief and hope
• 17:30 Closing thoughts

Please share with your family and friends!

Use PODCAST50 to get $50 off tuition for my Spring Deep Dive, The Art of Repair Work: From Regret to Resilience. Group starts on March 31st for 8 weeks, so register early to save your space.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus

Have you ever texted a friend, waited for a reply, and felt like your entire world was crumbling when they didn't respond right away? Do you find yourself deeply affected by neutral comments or minor critiques? If so, you might be experiencing Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) - a powerful emotional response that can feel like overwhelming pain, shame or devastation after a real or pervceived rejection.

In this episode, we break down:

• What RSD is and why it feels so intense
• How to differentiate between real rejection and fear of rejection
• Practical tools to regulate your emotions and build resilience
• How to work with your sensitive nervous system, not against it
• Real-life strategies for handling rejection in relationships, work and daily interactions
• A powerful reframe that will help you embrace your sensitivity as a strength, not a flaw

Plus, you'll hear from Annie, a seasoned Nonviolent Communication practitioner, as she vulnerably shares her struggles with RSD - despite all her training - and how she's learning to navigate these deep emotional waves.

✨If you've ever felt "too sensitive" or struggled to bounce back from rejection, this episode is for you.

We discuss:

• 1:55 Opening thoughts
• 3:33 What is RSD?
• 9:50 How can I best deal with RSD?
• 15:09 How can I decrease my suffering and increase my capacity?
• 21:17 Anxious and Avoidant Attachment Styles
• 25:56 Closing thoughts

🔹 Resources and Links:

• Join our 8-week Deep Dive on Repair Work and Accountability (starts March 31st!). Use code PODCAST50 for $50 off!
• Take our free Listening Style Quiz to understand how you process conversations
• Watch more videos on my YouTube Channel
• Learn more at Yvetteerasmus.com

Please share with your family and friends!

Use PODCAST50 to get $50 off tuition for my Spring Deep Dive, The Art of Repair Work: From Regret to Resilience. Group starts on March 31st for 8 weeks, so register early to save your space.

For ongoing practice and deeper learning, join my monthly membership program. You will find a safe space for live discussions and a supportive community of like-minded, open-hearted humans.


Subscribe & Follow:
Stay updated on new episodes and resources by subscribing wherever you listen to podcasts or visiting yvetteerasmus.com.

Thank you for listening!

Here are more ways to connect with me:

• Become a member of my online learning community
• Join my Spring Deep Dive: The Art of Repair Work
• Join our calls live
• Set up a private session
• Follow me on TikTok @dr.yvetteerasmus