How did I end up in the emergency room last night?
Humanoid robots in China can keep going and going.
South Park (Trey Parker and Matt Stone) signed a $1.5 billion deal with Paramount. Meanwhile, Stephen Colbert is getting canned for losing $40 million.
Pat Surtain of the Denver Broncos is very optimistic about Bo Nix and the upcoming season.

Don’t drive you lawn mower on the road, Florida!
Restaurant slammed for offering lion cub snuggles with $150 four-course meal.
Belgian man got catfished after traveling about 500 miles to try and meet a French model.
Worst art piece on the planet, the “Comedian” was bought for $6.2 million in New York last year. Banana duct taped to a wall. Well, it was on display in France, and a random person ate it.
The WNBA lost $40 million last year, and the players were wearing shirts that said “Pay us what you owe us” at the All-Star game. Do they really deserve to get paid more?
Nikola Jokic is having a blast in China.

Kiss Cam at a Coldplay concert exposed a CEO and his head of HR.

Fresno police and fire responded to a body in a canal - turned out to be a sex doll.

West Michigan woman finds dead mouse in Monster Energy drink… she drank the entire thing, then allegedly found it.

Swingathon sex festival in England, dominates a small town for three days.

Former NFLPA leader Lloyd Howell Jr. resigned due to strip club findings.

Some people like Dan Lebatard are still upset with Shane Gillis’ comedy at the ESPYs.

Brazilian Steakhouse of horrors.

Fear mongering with your laundry.
The largest piece of Mars ever found on Earth was sold for just over $5 million at an auction. And a Ceratosaurus nasicornis skeleton sold for way more!!
South Korea has a place where you can be locked up in a fake prison, so you can clear your mind.
Shane Gillis hosted the ESPYs, and SGA, Shedeur Sanders, Bill Belichick, and Tush Push weren’t off-limits.
Von Miller is signing with the Washington Commanders, not the Denver Broncos.
The Colorado Rockies are not yet mathematically eliminated from playoff contention.

A French prisoner escaped prison via a duffel bag.

Customs officials on Monday released photos from a seizure of roughly 1,500 young tarantulas found inside plastic containers that had been hidden in chocolate spongecake boxes shipped to an airport in western Germany.

Buccaneers will celebrate their 50th season with original 1976 uniforms in the home opener.

Haters in Pittsburgh are burning Aaron Rodgers jerseys.

Colorado lawyer Mike Sawaya apparently wears combat boots.

Scrotox is a thing, and it’s disturbing.

Humans most likely will go extinct from:

- Nuclear war.

- DNA manipulation - messing with crops that results in starvation -And/or creation or resurrection of species that will dominate us.

- Aliens.

I let a “one-upper guy” beat me in a conversation. Even though I have stories involving John Elway, Ron Pearlman, Terrell Davis, Mark Schlereth, and others.

Someone brought a weed cake to a potluck in New Zealand.

Single ladies are stealing men’s lunches to try and get their attention.

Passengers going from Cancun, Mexico to London, UK were left stranded for over 17 hours due to a couple smoking on board.

Detroit woman booted from Zoom court hearing after making PB&J during call.

Teddy Bridgewater just got suspended as the Head Coach of Miami Northwestern High School because he covered Uber rides, meals and recovery services for his players out of his own pockets last season.

Dick Monfort is the most hated owner in all of U.S. sports.

I had an encounter with a "Karen" as I was dealing with a bad case of the poop sweats.
Chimps in Zambia are sticking grass and sticks in their butts, all in the name of fashion.
University of Florida is trying combat the state's python problem with motorized rabbits.
You're more likely to die from a vending machine than a shark.
Denver Broncos WR Marvin Mims was on Sirius XM - NFL Radio to talk about the team having belief, and it's hunger.
Robert Griffin III thinks Bo Nix was the most underrated QB in the NFL last season.

Meat sweats are a good thing.

While wearing fish flops, a man and a group of idiots walked into a McDonalds in Carbon County, Pennsylvania, and stole a Ronald McDonald statue.

You can buy a phone case that feels, looks, and burns just like human skin. Perfect for you murder podcast lovers.

44% of Americans won't show their feet in public.

Deion Sanders of the Colorado Buffaloes, addressed the media, and talked about their desire to win. Plus, who will be their starting QB?

Leftovers from the Dick Monfort/Colorado Rockies conversation. What’s it going to take to get them to sell?