Bonjour Nicole! This week Lauren, Kenzie, and Abby discuss how our (white American) parents mastered the art of traditional Chinese medicine, the time Abby had to defend our family from aquarium-looting Goons, why we (as a community) should be taking a stand against toxic children, and how Lauren and Kenzie are looking to give away their entire company in exchange for $5 worth of Kohl's cash.

Email us at DontTellMom10@gmail.com with emotional support for Abby. Just that. We're getting really concerned that every time she closes her eyes at night she enters into a deeply disturbing psychological horror saga.

VIEW PHOTOS HERE : https://docs.google.com/document/d/1aMdnW8WlGeM4qQXk5NiAMctxk1FG4Ksl_ymYA_-adoI/edit

Aw, your daughter's outfit is really giving "47-year-old man who just slugged down a 6-pack of PBR"! This week Lauren, Kenzie, and Abby discuss where to find your town's hottest colonial garb, Abby being (psychologically) held hostage by a boxing gym, how God loved Kenzie so much he gave her EXTRA forehead, and how many cocktails is too many cocktails (to have graphically printed on a polo shirt) (hint: 1 is already too many).

Email us at DontTellMom10@gmail.com with your favorite appliance technician's information so Abby's washing machine stops playing Für Elise every 5 minutes.

Tienes Benadryl?? This week Lauren, Kenzie, and Abby discuss the saddening reality of those living with chronic MTSOA, Kenzie's favorite actor and why it's the 3-time Super Bowl champion Mike Ditka, and tips to increase your monthly Simoleon revenue. Also, join us in listening to Abby's 1-entry dream journal and help us determine if she needs a psychiatric evaluation.

Email us at DontTellMom10@gmail.com with your New Year's Resolutions so Lauren can make you feel like shit about it.

Get it before the neighbors do! This week Lauren, Kenzie, and Abby discuss how to preserve your (artificial) Christmas tree with saran wrap, our long-lost great aunt's stance on Bill Cosby (spoiler alert: it's not great!), why Netflix keeps recommending shows about delinquent European cyclists to Nana, and the best time-saving prayers YOU can use this holiday season to trick your friends into thinking you're a good Catholic.

Email us at DontTellMom10@gmail.com with your theories on what the literal f*ck Nana is watching on Netflix. A free DTM t-shirt is on the line.

The rats are going to absolutely HATE this episode (yes we found a way to bring up rats again)... this week Lauren, Kenzie, and Abby discuss printing your resume on various desserts (and other job market tips), how your heart-emoji color choice may or may not be defining you, the disturbing plot line of Hocus Pocus (should we seek justice for Thackery Binx?), and how our last episode directly led to the mayor of NYC declaring WAR on the rats.

Email us at DontTellMom10@gmail.com with your list of jobs that you've lost to the local rats and/or your experiences with razor blade-filled Twix bars.

It's the Halloweentown-Fetty Wap collab you all have been waiting for! This week Lauren, Kenzie, and Abby discuss how many Shirley Temples is too many Shirley Temples, when Lauren almost had to adopt her two adult sisters, the TRUTH about Khloe Kardashian's heritage (is DTM the new QAnon?), and how Abby and Kenzie are forming a student section at Lauren's Dissertation Defense (all listeners are welcome to join!)

Email us at DontTellMom10@gmail.com with the song that fills you with the most amount of rage - "Happy" by Pharrell Williams, or literally any song by Ed Sheeran?

If you give a mouse a cookie, do you legally have to claim it as a dependent on your W2 form? This week Lauren, Kenzie, and Abby discuss Kenzie's lifelong ban from a local deli, our family's new tailgate aesthetic (i.e. Nascar Pontoon), tips to recreate Lauren's iconic 2008 "Hokie Fan" look, and easy tricks to help YOU differentiate street rats from local mice.

Email us at DontTellMom10@gmail.com with the psychiatric diagnoses you would give Eleanor and Fredrick Little for adopting a literal rodent over an actual human orphan child.