In this episode, I’m super excited to speak with Amy Yip (@amyyipcoaching) — a mental fitness coach, keynote speaker, and author. As a first-gen Chinese American herself, her work has come full circle as she works with women of color leaders, primarily AAPI women, to identify and let go of the “shoulds” that weigh them down, so that they can be authors of their own lives.

We chat about her 16 years in corporate America, the “shoulds” she carried, and the how she came to terms with what she truly wanted to do in the next phase of life. We discuss what prompted her to write her new book, Unfinished Business: Breaking Down the Great Wall Between Adult Child and Immigrant Parents (available now on Amazon), and what our first-gen community can glean from it. What myths about our immigrant families and parents do we carry? If we took the time to engage in conversation and listened actively, what myths would we find inaccurate? And how might all of this change the connection and relationship we have with them?

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Book: https://a.co/d/6VdfoYD

Website: https://amyyipcoaching.com

Instagram: @amyyipcoaching

How do you “balance” both sides of your identity?

On this episode, I chat with my friend Shalini about her experience growing up in Chicago while being in touch with her Indian roots. We chat about living in San Francisco (where we met!), and now and her recent soul-searching about where to go next—home to Chicago where her mom is, or stay in SF?

We also chat about how, as first-gens, we can sometimes feel pressure to embody a delicate balance between being Asian and being American — because if we're “too” Asian we're seen as “fobby” and if we're “too American” we're seen as “white-washed.” What's the right balance, if there even is one?

Plus, some insider scoop—Shalini shares a bit about her experience working for Dil Mil, the well-known dating app created by and for South Asians.

What would you do if you could start over?

In episode 12, Annes Kim — a first generation Korean American, born and raised in Philly — shares with me how she gradually realized that she was living someone else’s definition of success.

Being a child of immigrant parents could often subconsciously shape the way we make choices — choices that optimize for stability — starting from high school, to college, to our careers and beyond. We discussed how this could gradually lead to a limited life, that all of these choices over years and decades can snowball into a life that one day, feels unfulfilling and disconnected from what we truly want and need.

Am I truly content and living in accordance to my values? If not, what isn’t working for me today? We learned to better acknowledge our emotions and pay attention to the nagging thoughts instead of routinely suppressing them. Only then were we able to ask ourselves the uncomfortable questions and begin living truly for ourselves.