In this episode, I’m super excited to speak with Amy Yip (@amyyipcoaching) — a mental fitness coach, keynote speaker, and author. As a first-gen Chinese American herself, her work has come full circle as she works with women of color leaders, primarily AAPI women, to identify and let go of the “shoulds” that weigh them down, so that they can be authors of their own lives.

We chat about her 16 years in corporate America, the “shoulds” she carried, and the how she came to terms with what she truly wanted to do in the next phase of life. We discuss what prompted her to write her new book, Unfinished Business: Breaking Down the Great Wall Between Adult Child and Immigrant Parents (available now on Amazon), and what our first-gen community can glean from it. What myths about our immigrant families and parents do we carry? If we took the time to engage in conversation and listened actively, what myths would we find inaccurate? And how might all of this change the connection and relationship we have with them?

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Book: https://a.co/d/6VdfoYD

Website: https://amyyipcoaching.com

Instagram: @amyyipcoaching

How do you “balance” both sides of your identity?

On this episode, I chat with my friend Shalini about her experience growing up in Chicago while being in touch with her Indian roots. We chat about living in San Francisco (where we met!), and now and her recent soul-searching about where to go next—home to Chicago where her mom is, or stay in SF?

We also chat about how, as first-gens, we can sometimes feel pressure to embody a delicate balance between being Asian and being American — because if we're “too” Asian we're seen as “fobby” and if we're “too American” we're seen as “white-washed.” What's the right balance, if there even is one?

Plus, some insider scoop—Shalini shares a bit about her experience working for Dil Mil, the well-known dating app created by and for South Asians.

What would you do if you could start over?

In episode 12, Annes Kim — a first generation Korean American, born and raised in Philly — shares with me how she gradually realized that she was living someone else’s definition of success.

Being a child of immigrant parents could often subconsciously shape the way we make choices — choices that optimize for stability — starting from high school, to college, to our careers and beyond. We discussed how this could gradually lead to a limited life, that all of these choices over years and decades can snowball into a life that one day, feels unfulfilling and disconnected from what we truly want and need.

Am I truly content and living in accordance to my values? If not, what isn’t working for me today? We learned to better acknowledge our emotions and pay attention to the nagging thoughts instead of routinely suppressing them. Only then were we able to ask ourselves the uncomfortable questions and begin living truly for ourselves.

It’s been a minute. I’m back with Season 2!

In June 2022, when I wrapped up Season 1, I had just landed back in New York City after two years of being in Hong Kong. I took a break with the best of intentions — I’ll adapt to life back in New York City, start planning my move to SF, start a new job, and record as I go. It’s now April 2023 - needless to say, life didn’t quite play out exactly as I expected it to.

In this long overdue update, I’ll be sharing what I’ve been up to and what to expect moving forward from this podcast.

Episode 10 is about life transitions. This will also be the end of Season 1! Did something a bit different for this 8-minute season finale, where it's just me 🙉

As some of you may know, I started this podcast while living abroad in Hong Kong, eight-thousand miles away from my hometown in NYC. And now, after almost two years here, I said goodbye to Hong Kong, closed this chapter of life, and moved back to the States just two weeks ago. Took the season finale to reflect on my time in this wonderful city and share my thoughts on change and uncertainty.

I’ll be taking a few months off before coming back with Season 2, which I'm really excited about. And with that, thank you for listening, reading, subscribing, sharing and messaging me with your thoughts and encouragement. Y'all are the best. 🥲 See ya real soon!

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Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod

Email: firstgenerasian@gmail.com

Back with episode 9 (two weeks late 😅)! Life happened and I procrastinated 🥲

On today’s pod, I chat with a good friend, Sharon Chan, about how we used to work at a community health center in NYC's Chinatown when we were teenagers (she was 15 and I was 19).

Almost a decade later, Sharon’s now a digital product designer! Our day to day work isn't related to the Chinatown or Asian American community anymore, so we reflect on whether we've been able to give back / stay involved in other ways, especially now with the wave of anti-Asian hate crimes in the U.S.

We also reflect on some lessons we’ve learned over the years, namely: learning to think in less binary terms (ex: you're either all in or you're not) and to recognize that there's a lot of room in between.

I invited Tina back from episode 2, and we talk about how she took the leap to create her own brand of leather camera bags, called No More Ugly (nomoreuglycamerabags.com).

As first-gens, we may be more risk-averse for a variety of reasons — family, finances, or even expectations we put on ourselves. Tina and I reflect on how it’s easier to take risks if we reframe them — breaking them up into small, incremental steps and then thinking of the worst case scenario. Is it truly as risky as we assume it to be? As I listened to how Tina created the company, from the early days of Taobao sourcing and selling at outdoor markets to what is it today, it really solidified this concept for me.

Lastly, we talk about knowing when it’s okay to pause or move on from something, whether it be a job or something you’ve built from the ground up, because our lives are dynamic and our needs change as we grow.

Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod

Email: firstgenerasian@gmail.com

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00:00 - 02:20: Welcome!

02:20 - 07:10: The story behind No More Ugly, taking the first step, sourcing bags on Taobao to resell

07:10 - 14: 32: Testing the demand at outdoor street markets, talking to customers for feedback, doubts during the process

14:32 - 22:09: Designing her own camera bag, meeting manufacturers in China, and realizing it's so much easier than expected

22:09 - 29:20: Pausing No More Ugly to move to Hong Kong, reprioritizing things, enjoying life, and being over "hustle culture"

29:20 - 33:50: One thing to tell your younger self: be bold

Friendships are weird. Anita and I talk about the confusing nature of friendships in our 20s and 30s: when we realized that making friends as an adult requires active effort, being more open to different types of friendships, and lastly, the lack of clear guidelines. How exactly do you grow a friendship? How do you know where you stand with someone? And how do you address issues or handle a friendship that is maybe past its prime?

We explored Dunbar's number and Rawlins' theory about the 3 types of friendships, but ended this episode with more questions than answers 😂

These of course aren’t questions specific to first gen Asian kids, but because it’s a universal experience, it’s something that many of us can relate to and have thoughts about. Hope it sparks some thought for you!

Follow on Instagram: @firstgenerasianpod

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00:00 - 01:19: Intro & adult friendships without the structure of school

01:19 - 11:40: Making friends in college vs. post-college in a new city

11:40 - 15:37 : Being open-minded and embracing different types of friendships

15:37 - 24:15: Rating our "friendship health", Dunbar's number, the idea of friendships as an onion, and Rawlins' theory on different functions

24:15 - 35:26: Friendships are basically "undefined relationships", lack of explicit communication, and letting friendships change

35:27 - end: Two things we want to do more of