Making amends taught me a lot about forgiveness. The 12 steps are a guide for living and have unexpectedly helped me understand myself so that I can be a better version of me for others. At its core, making amends is taking responsibility for our behavior. When others are willing to listen, we get the opportunity to make direct amends for the harms we’ve done. It’s a gift to shed the weight we’ve been carrying and heal in the process.

Allowing others to make amends with us is equally as important. Just as we are given grace to make amends, others deserve the opportunity to right their wrongs too. Step 9, and the practice of amends, teaches me that forgiveness is an act of compassion, freeing ourselves from resentment. We can find joy in each other’s transformations. In the past, my erratic emotions were like a freight train through my life, but learning my emotional patterns has been far more healing than assigning blame.

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