In today’s episode, Nicole has an insightful conversation with author Emi Nietfeld about her journey, mental health advocacy, and her book Acceptance. She shares her experience living with mental health challenges, including having features of BPD, discussing how labels impacted her work and recovery. We also explore her thoughts on mental health tools, societal shame, and the changes needed for greater acceptance of mental health struggles.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Emi Nietfeld

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eminietfeld/

Substack: https://substack.com/@eminietfeld

Book: “Acceptance”: https://tr.ee/ajpdA_8hZb (provides all links)

Website: https://www.eminietfeld.com

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/eminietfeld

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Intro to Emi Nietfeld’s Interview
• 1:32 Beginning Pleasantries and Emma's Introduction
• 3:06 Emily's Journey and Her Motivation for Her Book
• 5:20 Did You Have Any Advocates For Mental Health at That Time?
• 7:09 Were You Open to The Recovery Process? (Tools, Medication, etc)
• 11:07 Emi’s Experience with Features of BPD
• 14:54 How Did The Labels Affect Your Work Environment?
• 18:43 Where Are You Now In Your Journey?
• 23:57 Emi’s Perspective: What Needs To Change For Acceptance and Decrease Shame In Society?
• 27:44 Emi’s Final Words

(End of Interview)

• 28:33 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 28:55 BPD Daily Mantra
• 29:12 Outro
• 30:29 “Acceptance” by Synkro: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dNht9Zr0CE

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
• ❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Credits:

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Production & Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In today’s episode, we explore and break down idealization and devaluation. Our co-hosts, Melanie Jones and Dr. Gregory Serfer, offer their perspectives on both sides of the coin, followed by insights into how these patterns affect relationships. Dr. Serfer examines their connection, causes, and presence in other mental health conditions.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Dr. Gregory Serfer: contact@gregoryserfer.com

Book: “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Quora: https://www.quora.com/profile/Gregory-Serfer

• Melanie Jones: emmjay993@yahoo.com

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Mel’s Perspective: Idealization and Devaluation
• 4:32 Nicole’s Opening Statement and Beginning Pleasantries
• 5:49 A Breakdown of Idealization (and Idolization)
• 12:52 A Breakdown of Devaluation
• 18:48 Dr. Serfer’s Personal Perspective on Devaluation
• 24:05 Devaluation in Relationships (Parental, Platonic, Romantic, etc)
• 33:06 Idealization and Devaluation In Other Mental Conditions
• 34:14 Causes of Devaluation a.k.a Down the Rabbit Hole
• 36:04 Does Devaluation Interconnect with Idealization?
• 38:35 Trusting Your Gut During Idealization
• 44:38 The Extremes of Idealization and Devaluation
• 49:32 Preservation of Your Mental Health Through Discarding
• 52:48 How Permanent Is the Discard and Split?
• 56:10 Dissociation During A Split or Discard
• 1:03:29 Dr. Serfer’s and Mel’s Final Words
• 1:06:16 Meaning Behind the Term, BPD (continued)

(End of Interview)

• 1:13:38 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 1:14:00 BPD Daily Mantra
• 1:14:17 Outro
• 1:15:37 “When I’m In Your Arms” by Cleo Sol: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=hp0KiJs0S5g

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
• ❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Credits:

Hosts: Nicole Darby, Dr.Gregory Serfer, Melanie Jones, and Handsome Dan

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In this episode, Nicole and Aseelah explore the complex topic of forgiveness, reflecting on personal experiences and discussing why it's so challenging. They also touch on how spirituality and beliefs influence the ability to forgive. Nicole shares her perspective on navigating forgiveness in her own life. Aseelah also shares her professional insights on the role of forgiveness in our lives and its impact on mental and physical well-being. Whether you have BPD or not, this conversation offers valuable perspectives and tools for reaching a place of healing. Tune in for an insightful exploration of this essential emotional journey.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest: Aseelah El-Amin: https://www.instagram.com/talkptwithseesee/

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:08 Nicole’s Opening Statement and Beginning Pleasantries
• 3:53 What Does Forgiveness Mean?
• 7:11 Why is It Difficult to Forgive?
• 10:23 Is It Easier to Hold A Grudge?
• 12:08 Nicole’s POV: A Time Where You Struggled with Forgiveness
• 19:31 Aseelah’s POV: A Time Where You Struggled with Forgiveness
• 23:38 Did Your Spirituality Affect How You Affect Your Choice to Forgive?
• 28:18 The Philosophy of Forgiveness
• 30:31 Navigating Forgiveness as a pwBPD or A Person Without BPD
• 34:47 Other Strengths To Consider To Get to A Place of Forgiveness
• 37:07 What Would Aseelah’s Clients Think?
• 39:33 More On Spirituality, The Physicality, and The Science of Forgiveness
• 48:31 Aseelah’s Final Words

(End of Interview)

• 50:48 Nicole Closing Statement
• 51:12 BPD Daily Mantra
• 51:28 Outro
• 52:49 “Forgive Them” by Jane Handcock, Harry Simmons: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=arhT2OSTGlA
• Episode Resources:
  • Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

  ❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

  Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

  • “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

  Connect with the Host:

  Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

  Credits:

  Hosts: Aseelah El-Amin and Nicole Darby

  Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

  Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

  Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

  Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

Episode Nineteen: [Miik Wells – Inner Equity]

In this episode, Miik shares his connection with his work with the audience through Nicole's testimonial, offering a glimpse into his approach to mental wellness. He provides strategies for key areas where individuals with BPD often struggle. The episode also features interactive "Game Time" segments, where he discusses the importance of untangling personal patterns, rewriting your story, and embracing authenticity. He concludes with powerful closing thoughts that resonate with anyone on a mental health journey. Tune in for an engaging and transformative discussion aimed at supporting your mental wellness journey.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Miik Wells

Linktree: https://linktr.ee/insiit.miik

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Nicole’s Opening Statement
• 1:57 Introduction to Miik Wells
• 3:23 Self-Attunement and Inner Equity
• 8:14 Nicole’s Session Testimonial with Miik
• 10:07 Miik’s Connection With His Work
• 16:13 Strategies for the Five Key Areas Where Individuals Struggle with BPD
• 26:01 Game Time: Untangling Your Patterns
• 28:29 Game Time: Rewriting Your Story
• 30:32 Game Time: Free To Be Me
• 32:43 Miik’s Final Words

(End of Interview)

• 34:45 Nicole Closing Statement
• 35:08 BPD Daily Mantra
• 35:24 Outro
• 36:43 “FREQUENCY” by Stella: https://youtu.be/p2BpRCBnx-I?si=cLiifYtOLEoeWQdq

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

❗Don't miss the special offer from Dr. Gregory Serfer, who is providing a 30% discount on the digital version of his book, “I Am Still Right Here” exclusively for our listeners! Use promo code XA05T3V2K1MMK on the website linked in the episode resources section. ❗

Additionally, 15% of each sale using this code will go to support the “Press Pause” podcast.

• “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Credits:

Host: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

In this episode, Nicole, Dr. Gregory Serfer, and Melanie Jones explore the fear of abandonment in Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). They discuss how this fear affects relationships and daily life, sharing personal experiences, insights, and strategies for managing this challenging aspect of BPD. Whether you're looking to understand BPD better or seeking practical advice, this episode offers valuable guidance on navigating fear and abandonment.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Here is the episode breakdown:

Guest:

• Dr. Gregory Serfer

Email: contact@gregoryserfer.com

Book: “I Am Still Right Here”: https://www.amazon.com/I-Am-Still-Right-Here/dp/B0BNTZBZFT

Quora: https://www.quora.com/profile/Gregory-Serfer

• Melanie Jones: emmjay993@yahoo.com

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:07 Nicole’s Opening Statement
• 2:24 Introduction to Dr. Gregory Serfer and Melanie Jones (and Handsome Dan)
• 8:00 The Importance of Fear of Abandonment Concerning BPD
• 13:22 Follow up: Can Fear of Abandonment Play into Other Emotions/Thoughts
• 18:36 Mel’s Perspective: Fear of Abandonment
• 23:30 Relationships with a Person with BPD (pwBPD)
• 29:06 Advice For Confronting Discards
• 32:07 Mel’s Perspective: Tips to Avoid the Fear of Abandonment
• 35:20 Nicole’s Perspective: Tips to Avoid the Fear of Abandonment
• 38:44 More Strategies (Continued)
• 39:58 Testing, Self-Awareness, and More Perspectives
• 47:15 Resources, Solutions, Planning, and Support
• 49:08 Mel and Gregory’s Final Words

(End of Interview)

• 49:52 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 50:15 BPD Daily Mantra
• 50:31 Outro
• 51:50 Ion Like That by Jane Handcock: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=j5oo3U0QeLQ

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Free BPD Support Resources and Weekly Support Group (Wednesdays): https://www.showmegrace.org

Credits:

Hosts: Nicole Darby, Dr. Gregory Serfer, Melanie Jones, "Handsome Dan" -Yeti microphone

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

Episode Seventeen: [Movement with Marcia]

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

In today’s episode, Nicole talks with Marcia Jones, a counselor who combines fitness with her therapy sessions. They discuss why Marcia chose to blend fitness with counseling, how it helps her clients, and ways to work with those who might be hesitant. Marcia also offers advice on overcoming shame and joins in a "Myth or Truth" game to clear up common misconceptions about fitness and mental health.

Guest:

• Marcia Jones

Website: https://www.psycorefit.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/psycorefit

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro
• 1:05 Nicole’s Opening Statement

(Beginning of Interview)

• 2:04 Introduction to Marcia Jones
• 3:38 What Was the Motivation for the Integration of Fitness into Counseling?
• 7:59 How Was Fitness Integrated for the Clients?
• 11:12 How Do You Approach a Resistant Client?
• 15:35 A Different Approach and Tips Against Shame
• 20:24 A Game: Myth or Truth
• 30:17 Marcia’s Final Words

(End of Interview)

• 34:33 Nicole’s Closing Statement
• 34:56 BPD Daily Mantra
• 35:11 Outro
• “Keep Going” (Chosen) by Sevena - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xQ4dqv4Wx_0

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
  • Weekly Support Group: https://www.showmegrace.org/the-brain
  • Career Coaching: https://www.showmegrace.org/about-3

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby

Email: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Free BPD Support Resources and Weekly Support Group (Wednesdays): https://www.showmegrace.org

Credits:

Hosts: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

Episode Sixteen: Eating Disorders with Tatum Carter

In this episode, Nicole is joined by Tatum Carter, a Community Outreach Liaison at the Eating Recovery Center, to explore the intricate connection between Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and eating disorders, with a focus on marginalized communities. Tatum offers valuable insights into common myths, challenges, and key triggers related to eating disorders. The discussion also delves into crucial advocacy steps and initial steps toward wellness for those impacted. Tune in for practical guidance and Tatum's inspiring final words on mental wellness.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Guest:

• Tatum Carter

Eating Recovery Center: https://www.eatingrecoverycenter.com

Asessment Line 1-877-756-4832

Email: tatum.carter@ercpathlight.com

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:09 Opening Statement
• 2:08 A BPD Statistic
• 3:28 Introduction of Tatum Carter
• 4:38 What Led You to Work of Mental Wellness?
• 5:43 Common Myths Amongst Eating Disorders (ED)
• 9:21 Eating Disorder Challenges in Marginalized Communities
• 12:24 What Are Some Challenges of ED We Need to Address?
• 14:06 What Are Some High-Level Triggers?
• 18:15 Advocacy Steps for Marginalized Communities
• 23:18 First Steps to Wellness
• 24:46 Tatum’s Final Words

(End of Interview)

• 25:55 Closing Statement from Nicole
• 26:17 BPD Daily Mantra
• 26:34 Outro
• 27:51 “[Who?] Keeps Changing Your Mind (Daniel Bowie and Roy Rox Mix)” by South Street Player: https://music.youtube.com/watch?v=-xNkReWoAZw

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
  • Weekly Support Group: https://www.showmegrace.org/the-brain
  • Career Coaching: https://www.showmegrace.org/about-3

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby

Email: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Free BPD Support Resources and Weekly Support Group (Wednesdays): https://www.showmegrace.org

Credits:

Host: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle

Episode Fifteen: [Eve’s In-Between Diagnosis]

In today’s episode, Nicole sits down with a mental health warrior, Eve to have a conversation about her journey with mental health from adolescence to now. They cover the impacts of mental health, and misdiagnosis, and reflect on their communities and influences on how they perceive their mental health.

Disclaimer: The title of this podcast and its contents are not intended to in any way promote, encourage, or advocate suicide or any form of self-harm. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide and needs support, please call 988 for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline.

Guest:

• Eve

In this episode, you will hear:

• 0:00 Intro
• 1:07 Introduction to Eve’s Interview

(Beginning of Interview)

• 1:46 Eve’s Introduction and Opening Conversation
• 3:42 How Are You Doing?
• 4:36 Early Symptoms of BPD in Adolescence
• 6:52 Early Diagnosis
• 12:19 Knowledge about BPD Before Diagnosis
• 14:40 Misdiagnosis and Medical Stigma on BPD
• 15:55 Quiet BPD
• 17:46 Steps to Recovery and Thoughts on Diagnosis
• 20:59 The Impact of Mental Health
• 22:05 Eve’s Thoughts on Her Journey
• 24:55 Love Letter to BPD

(End of Interview)

• 26:18 Closing Statement from Nicole
• 26:38 BPD Daily Mantra
• 26:55 Outro
• 28:12 “Northface” by Sinazza x Kagan: https://tinyurl.com/Sinazza-x-Kagan

Episode Resources:

• Website: https://www.showmegrace.org/
  • Weekly Support Group: https://www.showmegrace.org/the-brain
  • Career Coaching: https://www.showmegrace.org/about-3

• Crisis Hotline - Call or Text 988 or Chat At 988lifeline.org

Connect with the Host:

Nicole Darby

Email: presspause4grace@gmail.com

Free BPD Support Resources and Weekly Support Group (Wednesdays): https://www.showmegrace.org

Credits:

Hosts: Nicole Darby

Music Producer of Podcast’s Intro Music: DJtheIII

Sound Engineer: Stefan Mitroi

Podcast Producer: Nicole Darby

Research Team: Nicole Darby & Tamar Brignolle