Negative experiences can disrupt a child’s sense of safety and security. These negative experiences in childhood are sometimes referred to as child trauma. Research suggests more than two-thirds of children report experiencing at least one traumatic event by age 16.^1 Examples of these experiences can include events that happen once, like the death of a loved one, parental separation or divorce, or a serious car accident.^1 They can also include traumatic experiences that occur repeatedly, like physical or emotional abuse, neglect, being bullied, witnessing violence at home or school, or living with someone who has a mental health or substance use disorder.^1 Traumatic experiences can overwhelm a child’s ability to cope with what they have experienced, which can lead to child traumatic stress^2 and long-lasting effects that negatively impact health, well-being, and opportunities in life.^3

Fortunately, children who have experienced traumatic events can recover and flourish. Creating safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments for children can buffer against the effects of negative experiences and help children thrive.^4 As a parent or someone in a parenting role, your support and guidance matters greatly. Learning about child trauma and how it can affect your child will help you support them. It will help your child feel safe and manage their strong and sometimes overwhelming feelings and behaviors while building a healthy parent-child relationship.

This document provides an overview of how a child’s brain responds to stress, the impact of child trauma on health and well-being, and reactions to trauma at various stages of child development. This document also provides guidance for what actions you can take to support your child after they have experienced a traumatic event and what you can do to help your child manage challenging behaviors. Finally, as a parent or someone in a parenting role, your child’s trauma affects you as well. While caring for and supporting your child through their difficult moments, it is vital to take care of yourself. Guidance on specific actions to care for yourself with compassion is provided.

Learning how to respond to and manage stress is a normal part of a healthy child development. When a child is exposed to an everyday stressor, their body’s stress response system is activated. For example, meeting a new friend, giving a speech in science class, or learning a new skill like how to ride a bike causes the body’s natural stress response to activate. A stress response generally includes an increased heart rate and a slight elevation in the hormone cortisol.^5 In these situations, the stress response is brief, and the body quickly returns to normal.^5 While the experience might be stressful, a child doesn’t experience any adverse lasting effects.^5These everyday experiences are a typical part of healthy development and necessary for a child to develop a positive stress response system,^5 which they will need throughout their life.

In contrast to everyday experiences that cause a positive or tolerable stress response, some experiences can be traumatic, “meaning they threaten the life or physical integrity of the child or someone significant to the child (such as a parent or those in a parenting role or sibling.).”^6 Traumatic experiences include singular events like a vehicle accident or the death of a loved one.^1 They can also include recurring events like physical or emotional abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence at home or school.^1 Traumatic experiences like these can result in the child experiencing a toxic stress response where the body is on high alert, and the child experiences strong feelings and intense physical reactions.^5 They can experience a fight, flight, or freeze response, which is...

E-cigarettes are electronic devices that heat a liquid and produce an aerosol that can be inhaled.^1 E-cigarettes are also called “e-cigs,” “e-hookahs,” “mods,” “vape pens,” “tank systems,” and “electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS)”.^1 Smoking e-cigarettes is called vaping.

Most e-cigarettes contain nicotine.^1 Nicotine is addictive and can be harmful to your child’s/teen’s developing brain.^1 There is a common misconception that the vapor inhaled from an e-cigarette is water vapor and is not harmful. However, in addition to nicotine, the aerosol produced from e-cigarettes may also contain other harmful chemicals that can result in inflammation and irritation of the lungs and cardiovascular problems.^2 ^3

E-cigarettes are the most commonly used tobacco product among teens.^1 It has been suggested that e-cigarettes may be more appealing to children/teens because they may think vaping e-cigarettes is safer than smoking traditional cigarettes, e-cigarettes cost less than traditional cigarettes, and e-cigarettes don’t smell.^3Further, e-cigarettes come in different designs, colors, and sizes, and they can come in sweet, fruity, minty, and candy-like flavors, making them more desirable to children/teens.^1

If you are worried that your child/teen may be vaping, don’t panic. There are many resources available to help. Let’s explore some of the side effects of vaping, the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal, ways to talk with your child/teen about concerns, and options available for getting your child/teen help to stop vaping.

● coughing

● shortness of breath

● eye irritation

● headaches

● mouth and throat irritation

● heart palpitations

● dizziness or nausea

● weakened taste

Because e-cigarettes contain nicotine, an addictive substance, if a child/teen stops vaping, they may experience symptoms of nicotine withdrawal. At the same time, their brain and body are getting used to not having nicotine.^6 Nicotine withdrawal may be uncomfortable but isn’t harmful, and the symptoms of withdrawal will lessen over time.^6

Symptoms of nicotine withdrawal may include:^6

● having urges or cravings to smoke

● feeling irritated, restless, or jumpy

● having a difficult time concentrating

● having trouble sleeping

● feeling hungry or gaining weight

● feeling anxious or sad

Start by having a conversation with your child/teen. If you are worried that your child/teen is vaping, prepare for this conversation so that you do not enter the conversation panicked, anxious, or angry. Your child/teen will react similarly and get defensive if you are angry and upset. Remember that the goal of your conversation is to foster an open and honest dialogue, listen actively to your child’s/teen’s thoughts and feelings, and share your concerns. Be prepared to ask follow-up questions and avoid judgment or lecturing. The strategies for intentional communication will come in handy during this conversation.

● Ensure you have enough time for this conversation so it is not rushed or interrupted.

● Make use of an everyday...

Conflict can happen within families, between spouses, extended family, and with other important people in your child’s life. Conflict is normal and expected. However, when conflict escalates, is persistent, and remains unresolved, it can harm not only the adults in conflict but your child.

Learning to address high-conflict situations is essential. The stress you experience from conflict will be felt by your child even if you believe you are hiding it well from them. When conflict is persistent and unresolved, it can

● confuse your child,

● foster feelings of uncertainty and stress,^1

● increase emotional distress,^1

● reduce your child’s ability to manage and regulate their emotions,^1

● negatively impact your child’s development,^1, and

● foster unwelcome behaviors in your child.

In high-conflict situations, your child must take advantage of the security of a stable, consistent, and nurturing environment. Children depend on their adults for survival, which makes them attuned to disruptions in their caregiving adult relationships.

This document guides you on what to do when there is high conflict between you and other important people in your child’s life. Learning to navigate high-conflict situations can help you to

● model the behaviors you are teaching your children,

● grow your social and emotional skills,

● grow your child’s social and emotional skills, and

● ultimately do what is in your child’s best interest.

Managing your thoughts and behaviors is essential in high-conflict situations so that your child’s best interest is at the forefront of your decision-making and actions.

Here are some relationship scenarios in which high conflict is more likely to occur:^2, ^3

1. There is no give and take. A rigid stance that leaves no room for discussion can lead to conflict. This might sound like: “You never agree with my rules for the children. My rules, my house, I won’t budge.”
2. Behaviors are extreme. Displaying behaviors that are at one extreme can increase the likelihood of conflict. For example, either the person is not responsive in a situation (“I won’t do anything”), or they are overly controlling (“I won’t let you see the kids ever again!”).
3. The “blame game” is in full effect. Not taking responsibility for one’s behavior or continually attempting to place blame on someone else can increase conflict. For example, it can sound like this: “You are the reason our child is so permissive. She doesn’t ever stick up for herself, just like you!”

While it isn’t likely you will be able to change the other person, you can influence the situation by how you respond.

Your goals for managing high conflict with an important person in your child’s life will vary. Your goals depend on your unique situation. Your goals might be

● to preserve the relationship you have with the important person,

● to preserve the relationship your child has with the important person, and

● to resolve the conflict as best you can.

You may be in a situation where your relationship with the person is...