Negative experiences can disrupt a child’s sense of safety and security. These negative experiences in childhood are sometimes referred to as child trauma. Research suggests more than two-thirds of children report experiencing at least one traumatic event by age 16.^1 Examples of these experiences can include events that happen once, like the death of a loved one, parental separation or divorce, or a serious car accident.^1 They can also include traumatic experiences that occur repeatedly, like physical or emotional abuse, neglect, being bullied, witnessing violence at home or school, or living with someone who has a mental health or substance use disorder.^1 Traumatic experiences can overwhelm a child’s ability to cope with what they have experienced, which can lead to child traumatic stress^2 and long-lasting effects that negatively impact health, well-being, and opportunities in life.^3

Fortunately, children who have experienced traumatic events can recover and flourish. Creating safe, stable, nurturing relationships and environments for children can buffer against the effects of negative experiences and help children thrive.^4 As a parent or someone in a parenting role, your support and guidance matters greatly. Learning about child trauma and how it can affect your child will help you support them. It will help your child feel safe and manage their strong and sometimes overwhelming feelings and behaviors while building a healthy parent-child relationship.

This document provides an overview of how a child’s brain responds to stress, the impact of child trauma on health and well-being, and reactions to trauma at various stages of child development. This document also provides guidance for what actions you can take to support your child after they have experienced a traumatic event and what you can do to help your child manage challenging behaviors. Finally, as a parent or someone in a parenting role, your child’s trauma affects you as well. While caring for and supporting your child through their difficult moments, it is vital to take care of yourself. Guidance on specific actions to care for yourself with compassion is provided.

Learning how to respond to and manage stress is a normal part of a healthy child development. When a child is exposed to an everyday stressor, their body’s stress response system is activated. For example, meeting a new friend, giving a speech in science class, or learning a new skill like how to ride a bike causes the body’s natural stress response to activate. A stress response generally includes an increased heart rate and a slight elevation in the hormone cortisol.^5 In these situations, the stress response is brief, and the body quickly returns to normal.^5 While the experience might be stressful, a child doesn’t experience any adverse lasting effects.^5These everyday experiences are a typical part of healthy development and necessary for a child to develop a positive stress response system,^5 which they will need throughout their life.

In contrast to everyday experiences that cause a positive or tolerable stress response, some experiences can be traumatic, “meaning they threaten the life or physical integrity of the child or someone significant to the child (such as a parent or those in a parenting role or sibling.).”^6 Traumatic experiences include singular events like a vehicle accident or the death of a loved one.^1 They can also include recurring events like physical or emotional abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence at home or school.^1 Traumatic experiences like these can result in the child experiencing a toxic stress response where the body is on high alert, and the child experiences strong feelings and intense physical reactions.^5 They can experience a fight, flight, or freeze response, which is...

E-cigarettes are electronic devices that heat a liquid and produce an aerosol that can be inhaled.^1 E-cigarettes are also called “e-cigs,” “e-hookahs,” “mods,” “vape pens,” “tank systems,” and “electronic nicotine delivery systems (ENDS)”.^1 Smoking e-cigarettes is called vaping.

Most e-cigarettes contain nicotine.^1 Nicotine is addictive and can be harmful to your child’s/teen’s developing brain.^1 There is a common misconception that the vapor inhaled from an e-cigarette is water vapor and is not harmful. However, in addition to nicotine, the aerosol produced from e-cigarettes may also contain other harmful chemicals that can result in inflammation and irritation of the lungs and cardiovascular problems.^2 ^3

E-cigarettes are the most commonly used tobacco product among teens.^1 It has been suggested that e-cigarettes may be more appealing to children/teens because they may think vaping e-cigarettes is safer than smoking traditional cigarettes, e-cigarettes cost less than traditional cigarettes, and e-cigarettes don’t smell.^3Further, e-cigarettes come in different designs, colors, and sizes, and they can come in sweet, fruity, minty, and candy-like flavors, making them more desirable to children/teens.^1

If you are worried that your child/teen may be vaping, don’t panic. There are many resources available to help. Let’s explore some of the side effects of vaping, the symptoms of nicotine withdrawal, ways to talk with your child/teen about concerns, and options available for getting your child/teen help to stop vaping.

● coughing

● shortness of breath

● eye irritation

● headaches

● mouth and throat irritation

● heart palpitations

● dizziness or nausea

● weakened taste

Because e-cigarettes contain nicotine, an addictive substance, if a child/teen stops vaping, they may experience symptoms of nicotine withdrawal. At the same time, their brain and body are getting used to not having nicotine.^6 Nicotine withdrawal may be uncomfortable but isn’t harmful, and the symptoms of withdrawal will lessen over time.^6

Symptoms of nicotine withdrawal may include:^6

● having urges or cravings to smoke

● feeling irritated, restless, or jumpy

● having a difficult time concentrating

● having trouble sleeping

● feeling hungry or gaining weight

● feeling anxious or sad

Start by having a conversation with your child/teen. If you are worried that your child/teen is vaping, prepare for this conversation so that you do not enter the conversation panicked, anxious, or angry. Your child/teen will react similarly and get defensive if you are angry and upset. Remember that the goal of your conversation is to foster an open and honest dialogue, listen actively to your child’s/teen’s thoughts and feelings, and share your concerns. Be prepared to ask follow-up questions and avoid judgment or lecturing. The strategies for intentional communication will come in handy during this conversation.

● Ensure you have enough time for this conversation so it is not rushed or interrupted.

● Make use of an everyday...

Conflict can happen within families, between spouses, extended family, and with other important people in your child’s life. Conflict is normal and expected. However, when conflict escalates, is persistent, and remains unresolved, it can harm not only the adults in conflict but your child.

Learning to address high-conflict situations is essential. The stress you experience from conflict will be felt by your child even if you believe you are hiding it well from them. When conflict is persistent and unresolved, it can

● confuse your child,

● foster feelings of uncertainty and stress,^1

● increase emotional distress,^1

● reduce your child’s ability to manage and regulate their emotions,^1

● negatively impact your child’s development,^1, and

● foster unwelcome behaviors in your child.

In high-conflict situations, your child must take advantage of the security of a stable, consistent, and nurturing environment. Children depend on their adults for survival, which makes them attuned to disruptions in their caregiving adult relationships.

This document guides you on what to do when there is high conflict between you and other important people in your child’s life. Learning to navigate high-conflict situations can help you to

● model the behaviors you are teaching your children,

● grow your social and emotional skills,

● grow your child’s social and emotional skills, and

● ultimately do what is in your child’s best interest.

Managing your thoughts and behaviors is essential in high-conflict situations so that your child’s best interest is at the forefront of your decision-making and actions.

Here are some relationship scenarios in which high conflict is more likely to occur:^2, ^3

1. There is no give and take. A rigid stance that leaves no room for discussion can lead to conflict. This might sound like: “You never agree with my rules for the children. My rules, my house, I won’t budge.”
2. Behaviors are extreme. Displaying behaviors that are at one extreme can increase the likelihood of conflict. For example, either the person is not responsive in a situation (“I won’t do anything”), or they are overly controlling (“I won’t let you see the kids ever again!”).
3. The “blame game” is in full effect. Not taking responsibility for one’s behavior or continually attempting to place blame on someone else can increase conflict. For example, it can sound like this: “You are the reason our child is so permissive. She doesn’t ever stick up for herself, just like you!”

While it isn’t likely you will be able to change the other person, you can influence the situation by how you respond.

Your goals for managing high conflict with an important person in your child’s life will vary. Your goals depend on your unique situation. Your goals might be

● to preserve the relationship you have with the important person,

● to preserve the relationship your child has with the important person, and

● to resolve the conflict as best you can.

You may be in a situation where your relationship with the person is...

Emotions are vital to your child’s life, influencing their behaviors and overall well-being. However, many children struggle to accurately identify and name their feelings, leading to emotional confusion and difficulties communicating their needs and managing their emotions.

Identifying and naming feelings is a skill that parents or those in a parenting role can teach. Both parents and those in the parenting role and children can benefit from learning and practicing this skill. Identifying and naming feelings is crucial for maintaining healthy relationships, coping with stress, overcoming challenges, and promoting mental health.

This I Want to Know More aims to explore why you should teach your child to identify and name feelings and provide examples of how you can teach this skill while growing your own skills, too.

● Improved Mental Health

○ Developing emotional self-awareness can positively impact your child’s mental health. When identifying and naming their feelings accurately, they can address underlying issues and seek appropriate support or interventions. Emotional identification allows children to develop healthy ways of expressing their emotions, caring for themselves when experiencing big emotions, and learning calm-down strategies to manage their emotions. This self-awareness can help reduce anxiety, depression, and other mental health challenges.

● Enhanced Relationship Building

○ Emotional self-awareness fosters stronger and healthier relationships. By understanding their emotions, children can effectively communicate their needs and boundaries, which promotes more fulfilling connections. Parents who understand their emotions can model sitting with difficult emotions and utilize healthy calm-down strategies and emotional regulation to communicate with their children intentionally and respectfully. Additionally, recognizing and empathizing with the emotions of others becomes easier when children have a deeper understanding of their own emotions.

● Better Decision Making

○ Identifying and naming emotions improves decision-making skills. By acknowledging and naming their feelings and thinking about the self-talk that led to them, children can assess how their feelings may influence their choices and behaviors. This awareness allows them to make more rational and well-informed decisions rather than being driven solely by their emotions.

● Clarity and Understanding

○ Identifying and naming their feelings allows children to gain clarity and understanding about how they feel. Often, emotions can be complex and intertwined, making it challenging to figure out what they are truly experiencing. Children bring their emotions into conscious awareness by giving them a name, making them more manageable and understandable.

● Enhanced Communication

○ Naming their emotions enables effective communication with others. When children can accurately express their feelings, they increase the likelihood of being understood and heard. It also helps prevent misunderstandings and conflicts that may arise from miscommunication. For example, instead of saying, "I'm upset," teach them to specify the emotion as "I'm feeling disappointed" to provide more clarity.

● Self-Reflection and...

Laws about the use of cannabis are changing rapidly and can be confusing. Laws differ by type of use, such as medical or adult use (sometimes called recreational use), and they also vary by state. While many states allow for the medical use of cannabis, and an increasing number of states have legalized cannabis for adult use, cannabis use remains illegal at the federal level, and adult-use cannabis is illegal for individuals who are under the age of 21. Parents, or those in a parenting role, and teens are often unclear about the laws and have misconceptions about the consequences of breaking the laws.

Let’s explore the laws regarding cannabis use in Washington State and discuss scenarios that you, as a parent or someone in a parenting role, might encounter. Note that certain localities may have stricter laws (ordinances), that laws change, and that this information is not a substitute for legal advice.

In Washington State, cannabis use is legal for adults who are at least 21 years old.^1 Using or possessing cannabis is illegal for people under the age of 21 unless medically authorized.^2

● It is illegal for someone under the age of 21 to possess, manufacture, sell, or consume cannabis or cannabis-infused products unless they are authorized as a qualifying patient by a healthcare professional, a resident of the state of Washington, entered into the medical marijuana authorization database, and have a recognition card.^4

● It is illegal to drive under the influence of cannabis.

● Adults 21 years and older can possess and use cannabis for medical and adult-use purposes.

● Adults 21 years and older can purchase up to one ounce of usable cannabis (the harvested flowers, or “bud”), 16 ounces of cannabis-infused edibles in solid form, 72 ounces in liquid form, and 7 grams of cannabis concentrates.

● Adults 21 years and older can possess cannabis-related drug paraphernalia.

● Cannabis can only be sold and purchased at state-licensed retail stores. No one under the age of 21 is allowed on the retail premises.

● It is illegal to consume cannabis in view of the public.

● It is illegal to provide someone under the age of 21 with cannabis unless you are the parent/guardian and are a designated provider for a minor who is a qualifying patient and holds a recognition card.

● It is illegal to drive under the influence of cannabis.

● It is illegal to take cannabis outside of Washington.

Depending on current laws and other factors, breaking laws regarding cannabis possession and use may result in criminal or civil charges, and penalties range from deferred sentences to fines to imprisonment.

Driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol is illegal, and the legal system treats driving under the influence charges similarly, regardless of the substance. That is, driving under the influence of any drug or substance, whether the substance is alcohol or cannabis, has similar legal consequences. Penalties can include jail and fines.

What if my child/teen encounters a cannabis plant at a friend/neighbor’s home? Can they try it?

It is illegal for a person under the age of 21 to use or possess cannabis unless they have a recognition card. And, it is not a good idea for young people to even “just try” cannabis, as such use is a...

Underage drinking laws can be confusing. They can change over time and vary by state. Parents or those in a parenting role and teens are often unclear about the laws and have misconceptions about the consequences of breaking those laws.

Let’s explore the underage drinking laws in Washington State and discuss scenarios that you might encounter as a parent or someone in a parenting role. Please note that certain localities may have stricter laws (ordinances), that laws change, and that this information is not a substitute for legal advice.

● It is illegal for someone under the age of 21 to possess, consume, or otherwise acquire any alcohol without parental consent when not for medical reasons or in connection with a religious service.^1

● It is illegal for someone under the age of 21 to be in a public place or to be in a motor vehicle in a public place while exhibiting the effects of having consumed alcohol.^1

● It is illegal to use a false ID to buy alcohol.^1

● It is illegal for someone under the age of 21 to operate a motor vehicle while affected by alcohol, drugs, or both. This includes both legal and illegal drugs, including prescription medication and over-the-counter drugs.^2

● Someone under the age of 21 is not allowed in taverns, lounges, or other age-restricted areas.^1

● It is illegal to sell, give, or otherwise supply alcohol to any person under the age of 21 unless you are the parent/guardian of the child and the alcohol is consumed in your presence.^1

● It is illegal to permit any person under the age of 21 to consume alcohol on your premises or any premises under your control unless you are the parent/guardian of the child and the alcohol is consumed in your presence.^1

o "Premises" includes real property, houses, buildings, other structures, motor vehicles, and watercraft.^1

Washington State law allows someone under the age of 21 to possess, consume, or otherwise acquire alcohol when it is:^1

● Provided by the minor's parent or guardian and consumed in the presence of the parent or guardian and not in a public place where alcohol is sold.

● Given for medicinal purposes by a parent, guardian, physician, or dentist.

● Given in connection with religious services, the amount consumed is the minimal amount necessary for the religious service.

Possessing, consuming, or otherwise acquiring any alcohol when under the age of 21 can result in a gross misdemeanor charge. For details on penalties associated with misdemeanor and gross misdemeanor charges, see Washington State Code 9A.20 RCW on leg.wa.gov. Children/Teens who are charged with a Minor in Possession (MIP) or a Consumption of Alcohol (MIC) charge, and it is their first offense, may be eligible for a court diversion program as an alternative to prosecution.

It is a gross misdemeanor offense to sell, give, or otherwise supply alcohol to someone under the age of 21.^1

What if I take my child/teen into a bar? Can I provide them with alcohol there?

No. You cannot provide someone under the age of 21 with alcohol in a public place known to sell alcoholic beverages.

What about at a restaurant?

No. You cannot provide someone

You might have heard of the nation’s opioid crisis or wondered about whether a medication prescribed to your child/teen is safe. You may be concerned about the potential of your child/teen drinking or using marijuana and feel overwhelmed with worrying about prescription medication. The recent increase in accidental fentanyl poisonings from using illicit drugs that have fentanyl added to them is alarming. This document defines what misusing prescription pain medication is, explores the potential risks associated with misuse, and reviews how to reduce the likelihood that your child/teen will misuse prescription pain medication. As a parent or someone in a parenting role, your awareness is vital, and there are practical things you can do to make a difference.

Call Out Box:

Early and frequent conversations[1] with your child/teen about the risks of substance use are an essential part of preventing substance use. In those conversations, talk about prescription pain medication as well as alcohol, marijuana, and other drugs such as heroin and methamphetamine.

Prescription pain medications are also called opioids and include oxycodone, morphine, fentanyl, and others. Brand names include Vicodin, OxyContin, and Percocet; common names include Oxy and Percs. People who have misused prescription pain medication report doing so to relieve pain, to feel good or “get high,” or to relieve tension. Prescription pain medicine is highly addictive, which can make it extremely difficult for people to stop using.^1,2

Most people have taken medication prescribed by a doctor or other healthcare provider, and we often perceive those medications as safe and helpful. Because prescription pain medication is addictive, concern arises with “misuse” of these medications. Misuse of prescription pain medication occurs when someone:

● Uses a prescription pain medication not prescribed for themself, such as using medication prescribed for a family member or friend

● Uses a prescription pain medication in a way other than directed by the doctor or prescriber, such as taking a larger dose or using it for longer than directed

● Uses a prescription pain medication for the feeling the drug causes or to “get high”^1

The use of prescription pain medication is common, including by children/teens, and is often thought of as safe and helpful. Some children/teens underestimate the dangers associated with misusing prescription pain medication and may also believe that misusing prescription medication is safer than using other drugs.^3 But, misuse of prescription pain medication is associated with serious adverse health outcomes^1,4 including:

● Use of alcohol and other drugs

● Increased risk of developing a substance use disorder

● Overdose

● Poisoning and death resulting from fentanyl-laced illicit drugs

Misuse of prescription pain medication can lead to tolerance, where greater amounts of the medication are needed to obtain the same effect. For example, with prescription opioids, tolerance can mean that stronger medications and larger doses are needed to achieve pain relief. Misuse can also lead to dependence, where a person experiences withdrawal symptoms if they stop taking the medication, and medical support can be needed to discontinue the use of the medication safely.^1,5

Misusing prescription pain medication can also lead to the use of other drugs, especially

Children, adolescents, and young adults are particularly susceptible to the negative effects of cannabis due to their developing brains.^1 Cannabis can impact a teen’s present life by increasing their risk for dropping out of high school, and it can affect their future because of the impact cannabis has on a developing brain[1] that can be significant and long lasting.^2,3

Preventing your child/teen from using cannabis, whether that means preventing them from ever using or delaying their start until at least the age of 21, greatly minimizes the negative and long-term impact of cannabis on the brain. To equip you, as a parent or someone in a parenting role, to have conversations with your child/teen about cannabis and the importance of not using during the teenage years, let’s explore the risks of cannabis use, consequences of cannabis use, and specific strategies you can implement to encourage your child/teen not to use cannabis.