Episodes

  • Episode 54 - Riding the Hormone Wave: Understanding Her Cycle, Deepening Your Connection
    May 13 2025

    What if one of the most powerful tools for improving your relationship was already happening every month—just largely misunderstood? In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we sit down with mental health therapist and hormone cycle specialist Shera Jackson Harper to unpack the emotional, mental, and relational impact of the female hormone cycle.


    From the quiet clarity of the menstrual phase to the radiant energy of ovulation and the problem-solving drive of the luteal phase, Shara explains how shifting hormones influence mood, motivation, sex drive, and communication—and why most couples are missing the cues.


    We dive into:

    When to have deep conversations (and when not to)


    How to align intimacy with changing desires using a “sex menu”


    Practical ways partners can support each other through the ups and downs


    How to transform postpartum hormone shifts from frustration to teamwork


    This episode will help you replace confusion with connection and frustration with empathy. It’s not about fixing hormones—it’s about learning to flow with them, together.

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    47 mins
  • Episode 53 - Wins, Bloopers, and Real Talk: One Year of Marriage IQ
    May 6 2025

    We made it—Marriage IQ turns one! And what a year it’s been.

    In this special anniversary episode, we’re pulling back the curtain on everything we’ve learned (and fumbled through) during our first year of podcasting together. From unexpected challenges to unforgettable wins, we’re getting real about what it takes to build a podcast—and a stronger marriage—one episode at a time.

    • Expectation vs. Reality: The truth about starting a podcast—hidden costs, time commitments, and the steep learning curve of content creation and tech trouble.

    • Top Episodes + Listener Insights: Curious which topics hit home? We’re sharing your favorite episodes and a peek at our audience’s age, location, and listening habits.

    • Marriage Meets the Mic: How vulnerability, authenticity, and real-life storytelling became the heart of what we do—and why we chose a broader vision than just talking about sex.

    • Behind-the-Scenes Bloopers: Tech fails, awkward edits, and the unscripted moments that made us laugh (and grow).

    • How Podcasting Changed Our Marriage:

      • It exposed weak spots we didn’t know were there

      • Taught us new ways to collaborate

      • Brought us closer through the work of talking it out, on and off mic

    • What’s Next: Our biggest lessons, our hopes for the future.

    💛 Whether you’re a long-time listener or brand new to Marriage IQ, this episode is a celebration of connection, curiosity, and the courage it takes to keep growing—together.

    🎁 Don’t miss our anniversary giveaway! We’ve got something special to thank you for growing with us this year.

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    36 mins
  • Episode 52 - Money, Sex, and Marriage: Building Trust and Intimacy
    Apr 29 2025

    In this enlightening episode of Marriage IQ, Dr. Jeff Hill, a family finance researcher, and his wife, Tammy, a therapist and sex educator, join us to share their expertise about sex and money in marriage.

    Dr. Jeff Hill uncovers surprising truths about how money impacts marriage—and it’s not about how much you make:

    • Why financial stress is the real relationship killer, not your income level

    • How transparent financial practices, like joint accounts, can create unity

    • The dangers of "financial infidelity" and how to protect your relationship from it

    Tammy Hill reveals her "Replenishment Model" for sexual intimacy—showing couples how to:

    • Shift from goal-oriented sex to nurturing deep emotional and physical connection

    • Cultivate a state of ongoing arousal and connection that sustains throughout life

    • Apply practical tips to bring mindfulness and presence into your intimate experiences

    • Open, honest conversations about money and sex

    • Setting shared goals and working as a team to achieve them

    • Creating generosity, trust, and unity in every aspect of your relationship

    This episode isn't just about the practicalities of money and sex—it’s about helping you build a more connected, generous, and fulfilled marriage. If you want to transform the foundation of your relationship, this is the conversation you’ve been waiting for.

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    51 mins
  • Episode 51 - Live Happy: How to Move From Stagnation to Scintillation
    Apr 22 2025

    What if happiness in your marriage and family isn’t something you chase—but something you design?

    In this heart-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we share how one of the hardest seasons of our lives—moving states, navigating financial stress, and supporting our kids through emotional and physical struggles—led to a powerful discovery: the Live Happy List.

    The Birth of the Live Happy List
    When our world felt uncertain, we needed something to anchor us. Through prayer, creativity, and a lot of trial and error, we created a simple foam board filled with small, medium, and big goals designed to spark joy, laughter, and meaningful connection. It changed everything.

    What You'll Learn:

    • How to create your own Live Happy List as a couple, family, or individual

    • Why setting intentional goals improves connection, resilience, and joy

    • Ideas for incorporating goals by season, mood, and energy level

    • How to adapt when life doesn’t go as planned—and still find joy

    From living room dance parties to big dreams like New Year’s Eve in NYC, we share how small acts of joy can carry you through big challenges—and how intentional goal-setting became a rhythm of healing, fun, and family bonding.

    This episode is for you if...

    • You feel stuck in survival mode and want more joy

    • You crave deeper connection in your marriage or family

    • You're ready to replace "someday" with "let's do it"

    Whether you're just surviving or ready to thrive, this episode will inspire you to create happiness on purpose—and bring your loved ones along for the journey.

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    36 mins
  • Episode 50 - Shame vs Guilt: The Secrets Shame Hides, with Steve O'Connor
    Apr 15 2025

    Shame can’t survive being spoken—but in many marriages, it’s never given the chance.

    In this powerful episode of Marriage iQ, we’re joined by Steve O’Connor, founder of Catholics Fight Porn, for a vulnerable and eye-opening conversation about the hidden impact of guilt and shame in marriage.

    We explore:

    🔹 The critical difference between “I made a mistake” (guilt) and “I am the mistake” (shame)
    🔹 How shame fuels cycles of secrecy, isolation, and emotional disconnection
    🔹 The surprising ways shame shows up—from sexual struggles to money to emotional avoidance

    You’ll also learn practical strategies for:

    ✅ Recognizing shame-based patterns in your relationship
    ✅ Creating safety for honest, vulnerable conversations
    ✅ Turning moments of exposure into moments of connection

    Steve shares deeply from his work and personal journey—emphasizing the healing power of faith, support systems, and full disclosure in restoring intimacy and rebuilding trust.

    Whether you’ve battled shame silently or you’re walking with a partner who is, this episode offers a roadmap for transforming pain into deeper love.

    Listen in—and discover how facing shame together can lead to healing, freedom, and deeper connection.


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    38 mins
  • Episode 49 - Why a Happy Marriage May Be the Best Medicine: Marriage IQ Exclusive
    Apr 8 2025

    Can marriage be the most underrated health intervention of all time?

    In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we explore the powerful link between marriage and your physical and mental health—and the research might surprise you. From lower mortality rates to a dramatic drop in substance abuse, the science suggests that a strong marriage might be more effective than some medications when it comes to long-term well-being.

    We break down fascinating findings, including:

    💗 Why married people have lower mortality rates and better heart health

    🧠 The connection between marriage and reduced risk of depression, substance abuse, and cognitive decline

    🎗️ How marriage impacts cancer diagnosis, survival rates, and recovery

    📉 Why marriage can lead to up to a 70% reduction in substance abuse

    Whether you're married, dating, or still figuring it all out, this episode offers research-backed insights and practical takeaways on how relationships shape our health—for better or worse.

    Join us as we unpack:

    • The gender gap in marriage-related health benefits

    • Why marriage quality matters more than just your relationship status

    • The critical role of social support in your overall wellness


    You’ll walk away with a deeper understanding of why investing in your marriage might be one of the best things you can do for your body, mind, and future.


    “Simply being married decreased their substance abuse by 60 to 70%.” — Dr. Heidi Hastings


    Hit play to find out why your relationship might be your most powerful prescription yet. 🎧💬


    #MarriageIQ #RelationshipHealth #Wellness #ScienceOfMarriage #MentalHealthMatters


    00:00:01
    Introduction to Marriage iQ and Episode Topic

    00:05:30
    Marriage and Mortality Rates

    00:15:45
    Cardiovascular Health and Marital Status

    00:25:20
    Marriage's Impact on Mental Health

    00:35:10
    Quality of Marriage and Health Outcomes

    00:00:02
    Introduction to Marriage iQ Podcast

    00:00:34
    The Health Benefits of Marriage

    00:06:54
    Marriage and Heart Health

    00:10:26
    Marriage and Cancer Outcomes

    00:13:43
    Marriage and Lifestyle Habits

    00:15:07
    Marriage and Mental Health

    00:21:33
    Quality of Marriage Matters

    00:25:35
    Correlation vs. Causation in Marriage and Health

    00:28:16
    Gender Differences in Marriage Benefits

    00:30:15
    Conclusion: The Importance of Quality Relationships

    Key Insights on Marriage and Health:Why This Episode Matters:

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    32 mins
  • Episode 48 - Entangled: How Family Patterns Shape Your Marriage with Dr. Kathleen Smith
    Apr 1 2025

    Ever feel stuck in the same relationship patterns—whether in your marriage, parenting, or extended family? In this powerful episode of Marriage IQ, we uncover the hidden forces shaping your relationships through family systems theory with Dr. Kathleen Smith, therapist and author of True to You: A Therapist’s Guide to Stop Pleasing Others and Start Being Yourself.

    What You’ll Learn in This Episode:

    How Family Systems Theory Explains Your Relationship Struggles Dr. Smith breaks down Murray Bowen’s groundbreaking work on how families operate as living, interconnected systems. Discover:

    • Why one person’s behavior shift can transform an entire family dynamic

    • How deeply ingrained family patterns affect your marriage, parenting, and self-growth

    • The power of "zooming out" to see your relationship challenges more clearly

    Anxiety in Relationships: How It Shapes Your Reactions Are you responding to real threats or just your brain’s anxiety-driven patterns? Learn how to:

    • Recognize anxiety’s hidden role in your relationship struggles

    • Stop mind-reading and making harmful assumptions about your spouse

    • Replace reactive emotions with curiosity and intentionality

    Over-Functioning vs. Under-Functioning: Are You Doing Too Much? Many couples fall into an imbalance where one partner over-functions (takes on too much responsibility) while the other under-functions (avoids challenges). Dr. Smith shares:

    • The telltale signs of these patterns in marriage and parenting

    • How they impact intimacy, communication, and emotional connection

    • Practical strategies to rebalance your relationship and foster mutual growth

    Why This Episode Matters By understanding family systems theory, you’ll gain a fresh perspective on why you and your spouse react the way you do—and how to shift your patterns for a healthier, more fulfilling marriage.

    Listen now to start breaking free from old dynamics and building stronger, more intentional relationships!

    Subscribe to Marriage IQ for more expert-backed insights on relationships, intimacy, and personal growth.

    #MarriageIQ #FamilySystemsTheory #RelationshipPatterns #MarriageHelp #EmotionalHealth #SelfGrowth

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    58 mins
  • Episode 47 - Mind Games: How to Fix the Biases That Shape the Way You See Your Spouse
    Mar 25 2025

    Ever wonder why you and your partner seem to have the same argument on repeat? Or why small misunderstandings escalate into full-blown conflicts? The answer may be lurking in your mind’s unconscious shortcuts—cognitive biases that silently shape your marriage.

    In this eye-opening episode of Marriage IQ, we uncover six powerful biases that influence how you see, interpret, and react to your partner—including the self-serving bias (where we magnify our own good intentions but fixate on our spouse’s mistakes) and the confirmation bias (where we unknowingly seek proof that we’re right—even when we’re not).

    We start with a raw, real-life moment from our own marriage—an airport miscommunication that turned into unexpected tension—before breaking down:

    🧠 The 6 Hidden Biases in Marriage 1️⃣ Implicit Bias – The “default settings” you bring into love 2️⃣ Perceptual Bias – How your “marriage glasses” distort reality 3️⃣ Self-Serving Bias – Why we see ourselves as the hero of the story 4️⃣ Attribution Bias – Assuming the worst about your partner’s intentions 5️⃣ Confirmation Bias – Why we seek proof that supports our beliefs (for better or worse) 6️⃣ Expectation Bias – The “Disney effect” of unrealistic relationship ideals

    🔥 How to Break Free from These Biases: ✅ Reprogram your mental defaults to stop destructive patterns ✅ Shift your perspective and practice curiosity over assumption ✅ Balance self-reflection with genuine empathy for your partner ✅ Reframe negative attributions and give your spouse the benefit of the doubt ✅ Challenge assumptions and seek the whole truth—not just the parts that confirm your fears ✅ Communicate openly about expectations (and ditch the fairy tale scripts)

    We also bust common myths—like the idea that happy couples are immune to bias or that these mental shortcuts are impossible to change. Spoiler: They’re not!

    If you’re ready to see your marriage through clearer, more compassionate eyes, this episode is your guide to breaking free from destructive biases and building a smarter, stronger, and more connected partnership.

    🎧 Tune in now and start seeing your relationship in a whole new light!

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    38 mins
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