Summer planning round 3, ding ding ding. I share a lot of my life because I am part of the Organize 365® brand. I’ve been podcasting for over 12 years and over that time I have shared a lot about me, my life, and my family. Recently I shared how I wanted to spend the next 120 days upleveling the upstairs of my house. Those plans changed when Abby decided to have back surgery. And once again those plans have changed. And when evaluating my boundaries, I asked to share some news on this podcast I’d been withholding to explain why all the changes.

My personal life

A year or two ago I started practicing boundaries. My family has never been upset with anything that I shared but I started thinking they are adults and it’s their news to share when there’s news. I don’t need to share everything. And a year ago I decided to stop sharing vacation/trips with social media and on the app. But then I wanted to share something while I was on a trip and I questioned my boundaries. I’ve decided I have boundaries in place but when I want to share something I will even if it goes against those boundaries. My boundaries are flexible.

Unexpected golden window

When Abby’s back surgery got cancelled, I removed the “When Abby has back surgery” google calendar and my calendar was bare! I’d dedicated about 80% of my upcoming time to take care of Grayson and Abby. Now what did I want to do in this unexpected golden window? People often ask “I have so much to do, but when I have a pocket of time, I don’t know what to do first.” I say all you need to do is just pick. I had lots of options when that time opened up on my calendar. I decided I want to make the PhD a priority. You see, Abby had to do some pre-operation bloodwork that revealed she’s expecting. Yes!! Hence the surgery is off. This discovery led to a cascade of changes for the next 120 days. The second thing I decided I wanted to do was revisiting creating an office upstairs in our house. And I created a little bedroom upstairs for Grayson like I’d mentioned before so our house is ready for this next phase of life. Wanna know how I’m gonna spend the rest of this time?

Italy, a Wedding, and a Baby

Knowing the baby is coming in December, I want to plan our Italy trip for this fall. It’s been cancelled a few times, and I want to go before Abby needs us with baby #2. More news I’ve been keeping private is that Abby is engaged and they’re getting married in the Spring of 2026, so we definitely need to squeeze this trip in. Pray for me as I plan this wedding. LOL So travel, travel is the other thing I want to do for this 120 days. By the time you listen to this episode I will have just come back from Michigan. Greg and Joey are headed to the Keys. When we head to FL I’m taking Grayson to Disney (secretly hoping it becomes our little tradition.) I’m taking an adult field trip to VA. And I’ll be planning this Italian trip for the fall that we’ve talked about taking forever! So I have a few things keeping me busy.

I will not be creating any courses or Sunday Baskets® for weddings, vacationing, or any other courses based on the events currently in my life. I’m not a public figure that is going to try to be an expert in everything I do. When I created Organize 365® I chose a subject I was an expert in and a subject that I wanted to talk and teach about until I was at least 80. Teaching others about organization is my unique gift and I’m going to stay in that lane.

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Life can really get challenging when you lose someone and they owned a business. Emily and I had to face that, with our dad, and I’ve shared about it and now Anna Hall is sharing about her dad. Anna has two younger brothers and she was kind enough to share their experience with settling his estate, taking care of his business and employees, and the family house her father built with his two hands. It couldn’t have come at a more complicated time for Anna. She and her husband had just built a house one year prior to be a half mile between her mom and her dad who were divorced. And Anna was in school for her doctorate, had an almost 2 year old son, and at almost 31 years had no experience how to settle an estate and grieve the loss of a parent.

It’s never planned

None of us plan when we’ll pass although we may know it’s coming soon. Our passing comes with great emotional distress to those we love. How can we make it easier on them? Do like Anna’s dad did. Thankfully he was a meticulous person and all of his paperwork was orderly and passwords were readily available. It saved a lot of time and money in lawyer fees because the lawyer didn’t have to go on a wild goose chase to obtain information. Anna advises to show up with as much paperwork as you can in that first visit. Her father assigned her uncle as the executor but let Anna and her brothers be in charge. He had a will and a separate document for the business. Her father also had titles transferred upon death saving money on taxes and keeping belongings out of probate.

What to do with the business?

Anna called a meeting with her brothers and a long time employee of her dad’s, JR. Her dad’s dying wish was to keep him working as long as JR wanted to. One of her brothers lived out of state so he wasn’t going to be able to help and Anna worked as a teacher full time so they needed to assign roles. It wasn’t too long after that Anna, who was the leader, realized her brothers weren’t paying attention to the reports, she was fine with that but wasn’t going to devote time to that anymore.

Anna led her dad’s company for 4 ½ years but was ready to sell the company. As fate would have it her father in law had a friend with a similar business. They needed a skilled wood crafter too like JR. Anna was able to sell her fathers company, keep JR working, and keep their current customer list serviced. It was such a blessing for Anna who now had two children and ambition to pursue a career as a result of getting her PhD. However, they did not purchase the warehouse. Anna took time to sell off items. It was sweet for Anna to have some of her father’s friends stop by, share stories, and maybe claim an item or two to remember their friend.

There’s something about the 5 year mark

There was something special for Anna to run the company for almost 5 years. She cherished being the one to carry on the legacy of her dad. If you find you just can’t part with some items yet, that’s ok. I always say get a storage unit, give yourself time with those items, and avoid regretting that you got rid of them. And we talked about that significant 5 year mark. I shared in a previous episode how around the 5 year mark I was able to see some of my dad’s items with less significance. You start to realize that person is a part of you and your memories. They aren’t that thing. The material things no longer represent them.

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• Sunday Basket®

• Financial Binder

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If you find yourself in this role as Executor of an estate, I want to make sure to support you best during this time by providing a little food for thought. How do you want this time to look? It’s not easy losing a loved one and hopefully this episode provides emotional support in the form of considering your mindset during this time. And we found it is best practice to have ONE executor! Emily and I were both executors but needed to be present for every singing of all the papers and Emily bowed out. She said you do it, I trust you! It’s so much easier with ONE executor!! Here are the things we did to save time, money, and spare our relationships.

Protect Your Relationships

We had about a 9 month heads up that my dad was terminally ill. I lived 3 ½ hours South of my dad but I made a conscious decision that while my dad was alive I would prioritize taking care of him. My sister would call and I would get in the car and head North. On those long drives I would think about the memories I wanted to create with my dad, the moments I wanted to share still, and burning questions I wanted to ask. This would be the time to finish up that Financial Binder if it wasn’t completed. This way you know you are honoring their final wishes. But really? Complete it before this highly emotional time so you and/or your loved ones can focus on cherishing the final days. My Aunts and Uncles were so good to counsel us during this time in respect to what to expect in settling an estate and planning a funeral.

I also considered people I would be interacting with communicating things about dad’s health, his passing, and the funeral details. Out of respect, even though they were divorced, we communicated his passing with our mom first and loved ones from there. It is also ok during this time to set boundaries. I went through some scenarios to think through. How will you interact with your less than favorite relative respectfully? Keep harmony in mind.

Processing Loss

Based on my experience, it seems to be a female doing the bulk of the executor role. Her husband may be the actual Executor but in her supportive role she does most of the tasks. And so how do you, as a female, household manager, and maybe a parent, take time to process the passing of your loved one?You may need to cry it out in the shower. Maybe it becomes “long shower season.” I grieved my loss leading up to and weeks after his passing at my dad’s house. I found when I was home my family needed me. But when I got up to Akron that was a place I had time to grieve. But I encourage you to be selfish and take the time you need to process this loss.

How to Process the “Stuff”

I have this indulgent thing I do. I lay in bed half awake, half “asleep” and I think. Normally I rearrange my calendar and think through any projects. During this time I thought about my dad, my relationships, and all the stuff in his home. It was all going to be Emily and I’s. I didn’t want all of it but room by room I envisioned what I might want.

Then, I developed this elimination process for Emily and I. She didn’t have the bandwidth to sort through each room. I wanted to support her in this time and get the house content processed so we could move forward with selling his home. Each day, I’d tackle one room and set out all the items. We’d go through and claim the things we wanted. The rest would be offered to family and then to donations. This can be an emotionally charged tough season. Give yourself grace, keep harmony in mind, and for the love…finish your financial binders people!

EPISODE RESOURCES:

• The Sunday Basket®

• Financial Binder

• Sign Up for the Organize 365® Newsletter

Did you enjoy this episode? Please leave a rating and review in your favorite podcast app. Share this episode with a friend and be sure to tag Organize 365® when you share on social media!