“I turned 30 this year and it has been the biggest block for me in terms of the next part of my life. I gave myself until my 30th. I was like, do what you want to do and then, by 30, I think it'll be time. And I fully expected, one way or another, to step off my life at 30. And I'm here still.”

Those were heart-wrenching words to hear during my conversion with Ben Pechey (they/them), my wonderful guest for this week’s episode of ‘Pause. And Rewind…’ But they’re actually packed with hope for the future, relief that they’re ok following a recent serious health scare & appreciation for their own hard work & legacy. A happy childhood up until around aged 4 turned into a relentless & prolonged experience of bullying until his late teens - something Ben has accepted but has left deep, emotional trauma. It was only at university studying fashion marketing where they found a sense of belonging. As well as their passion, determination & community.

Despite having zero plans moving forward, Ben feels privileged to still be here and committed to seeing how things go. I know I’m not not the only one who is grateful they’re still here…

Ben is an exceptional human who brings warmth, colour & authenticity to everything they do. They’re the author of two beautiful books - The Book of Non-Binary Joy and Your Gender Book - which provide education, guidance, support & love to non-binary, trans+ & gender non-conforming individuals & are written with such heart in Ben’s unique & nurturing manner & voice. I love Ben’s bitesize Queer History Lessons on social media - they’re edutainment at its best for informing us about LGBTQ+ history and their TedX talk on trans+ & non-binary joy is STUNNING. You should go watch it immediately.

As a writer, public speaker & content creator, Ben holds the audience close. And doesn’t let go. They use these to describe

This episode is hard to listen to in places as we cover a lot of sensitive & triggering topics, as mentioned, including bullying, mental health & feeling like there is no way out. Please take care of yourself whilst listening & take a break if needed.

As much as there we navigate trauma, there’s also a lot of joy - and Ben’s work really emphasises the need to tap into that. We chat gender expression, fashion & event hosting, including Ben’s gorgeous exchange with Davina McCall on stage. Plus Section 28, Sesame Street & other cultural references, such as our mutual love of Scandal & Olivia Pope, and being the Lorraine Kelly of the trans+ community!