There are the folks who are deep—the ones who focus on one thing and completely immerse themselves in it. They’re experts, the ones who can go on and on about their craft, their passion, their field of knowledge.

Then there are the wide ones—the people who are a little bit of everything. They know a little about a lot, and they’re adaptable. They might not master a single thing, but they’re curious, they’re versatile, and they always seem to have the right answer, or at least a solution to get things moving.

It’s fascinating, really, because both types of people are confident in their own way. The deep folks have this steady, unshakeable confidence that comes from years of dedication and learning. You can tell when someone is deep—they walk into a room and immediately command respect because they own their space and their expertise. It’s not cocky. It’s a quiet, powerful confidence that comes from knowing exactly what they bring to the table.

But then there’s the wide people, and I love them too and not just because I’m one of them! Wide people have this ease in their confidence because they aren’t afraid to try new things, to jump into unknown territories. They have this natural ability to connect with different kinds of people and situations. They aren’t intimidated by things they don’t know—they just roll with it, which I think takes a different kind of confidence, the kind that’s born from possibility, not perfection.

Which one are you? Does it matter when it comes to confidence? Listen in as I break down who’s deep, who’s wide, and how each approach shapes how we feel about ourselves and our own confidence, no matter how we show up in the world.

This episode of Real Confidence is a wild one. I’m talking to Sean Harvey, founder of Warrior Compassion Institute and author of Warrior Compassion, and we get into the real, messy, and honestly kind of scary work of sitting down with people most of us would run from. Think white nationalists, men feeling lost in a changing world, people whose views might make your skin crawl. But Sean doesn’t argue or shut them down—he meets them with love, curiosity, and a whole lot of patience or in other words, confidence.

And somehow, it works.

Sean and I talk about why polarization is making everything worse, how dehumanization goes both ways, and why Sean believes his work is the missing step before DEI efforts can actually stick. He’s all about helping people get emotionally and psychologically ready for those hard, awkward, necessary conversations—the kind that don’t just change minds but actually open hearts.

I don’t want to give too much away, but the highlights of conversation that stick with me—and will stick with you too, include:

• Why Sean meditates with extremists instead of debating them
• How curiosity and compassion can keep even the toughest conversations going
• Why polarization dehumanizes everyone—including us
• The "bridging mindset" and how it leads to real change; and
• A terrifying moment that proved to Sean he was exactly where he needed to be

Sean’s approach to dealing with hateful people confidently and compassionately is fascinating, and if you want to go deeper into his work, visit check out WarriorCompassion.com where you can also sign up for his mailing list and get copy of his book.

There’s an awful feeling we all know—being taken advantage of.

You know the one. It hits when you realize you’ve been pushed into a decision, and you’re left questioning, Was I just tricked into doing something I didn’t want to do?

It’s the regret that follows, and it makes you question: Am I a sucker?

I’ve felt it, especially when dealing with high-pressure situations, like buying a car. The dealership pushes you to make a decision on the spot, and though I’ve done my research, I still wonder if I was manipulated into a choice I wasn’t fully confident in. It’s a feeling I try to avoid, yet we all experience it in different ways.

This feeling doesn’t always come from those obvious, high-stakes situations either. It can happen in quieter moments, too—when friends, family, or even institutions we trust subtly push us into decisions. Maybe it’s a charity asking for more than you’re comfortable with, or an event that makes you feel obligated to give more of your time than you want to.

Even the smartest, most confident people can fall into these traps. I’ve watched as others get scammed through phishing schemes, tricked into believing they were doing the right thing, only to lose money or worse. It happens when we’re vulnerable, when our brains are not fully online and the fear is driving us into decisions we wouldn’t normally make.

So what can we do? We already feel like a sucker and now we feel even more vulnerable.

The key to reclaiming our confidence here is simple.

Listen in for my take on how we take our power back, find clarity and build the confidence to trust ourselves so the choices we make feel right, not pressured.

As someone who's witnessed neurological challenges and success through my own son's journey, the story I’m sharing in this episode of Real Confidence resonated extremely deeply.

During her senior year as a competitive swimmer at Bryant University, Nicole Salzano experienced a life-altering health event after swimming the 500 freestyle in the Northeast Conference Championship: a massive stroke that doctors believed would permanently disable her. They told her parents she would never walk, talk, or use her right arm again.

Nicole had lost her future opportunities as a competitive swimmer and many other graduation goals, but her response to this was anything but defeated. Her athletic background as a swim team captain became her greatest asset. With incredible determination, she embarked on an intensive recovery journey.

Her recovery wasn't quick or easy. It took three and a half years of rigorous therapy - speech, occupational, physical - with countless repetitive exercises. She experienced burnout, pushed through, and ultimately returned to her passion by becoming a swim coach, teaching children the sport she loves.

What struck me most was Nicole's strength of spirit. She transformed a potentially devastating medical event into a powerful narrative of hope and possibility. Her approach wasn't just about physical recovery, but about redefining her own potential and leaning into her real and unshakable confidence.

Highlights from our conversation include:

• The reminder that personal identity isn't defined by medical limitations, but by our individual wills and perspectives
• How confidence emerges not from avoiding obstacles, but from how we choose to respond to them
• Why our personal support teams can be as transformative during recovery as our medical teams
• The role the magic combination of persistent, focused effort and neuroplasticity plays in healing

Nicole tracks her recovery journey on Instagram. You can find and follow her @nicole.salzano.

Friends, we made it—100 episodes of Real Confidence! And because I believe in practicing what I preach, I’m doing something different. No guest. No script. Just me, pulling back the curtain on what real confidence looks like when you hit the big milestones because I’m hitting one myself.

I’m turning 60 in two weeks (!) – the age research shows that we human beings reach peak confidence!

Six decades of life, 100 episodes of this podcast, hundreds of confidence coaches certified and countless moments that have shaped what confidence means to me right now.

And guess what? It’s not what I thought it would mean AT ALL.

You already know from listening to me that confidence isn’t a destination. It’s not something we “arrive” at just because you’ve done the reps or racked up the awards.

Confidence shifts. It deepens. And sometimes it throws you a curveball just when you think you’ve got it figured out.

So, what actually matters when you hit the big milestones? What do you keep? What do you leave behind? And how do you push forward when the doubts creep in—because, yes, they still do.

This episode isn’t about looking back. It’s about what’s next—for you, for me, and for the confidence we build every single day. Let’s get into it together, including the biggest lessons - from my powerhouse guests to moments that nearly made me quit.

But before we get into that, thank you for being with me 100 episodes in and 60 years now in the making of who I am and practicing what I preach.

We got this.

I recently watched a friend die. I was in the room, witnessing the unplugging of her life support while trying to support her family in their decision before and after it was done. It was the hardest day of my own life so far, by far. And as unprepared I was for the event and emotions, I also didn’t expect to become more prepared for my own death.

Talking about death has never scared me — It’s not like we can escape it— but I get why many of us want to avoid the topic, especially when it comes to our own eventual demise. Talking about death feels heavy, messy, and uncomfortably real. But what’s more frightening to me, is avoidance. The kind that leaves our loved ones guessing, unsure, and unprepared when everything falls apart.

The hardest part of planning for the inevitable isn’t the logistics—it’s finding the courage to start the conversation. But then I think about the alternative: the questions no one can answer because they didn’t ask. And now they have to make critical decisions leaving the weight of uncertainty hanging over the people I care about most. That’s what pushes me forward. Not because I’m fearless, but because I refuse to let fear have the last word.

You see, confidence doesn’t come before this type of conversation. It shows up in the middle of it, somewhere between the tears, the uncomfortable pauses, and the sighs of relief when you realize you’re finally saying the things that matter most.

And I want that for you, which is why this episode of the podcast is about The D Word.

Okay, stop everything and listen to this. I just interviewed the most INCREDIBLE woman on my podcast, and her story is going to blow your mind!

Picture this: A total rockstar Venezuelan electrical engineer with an MIT MBA, killing it at Microsoft, who suddenly decides to become a family photographer after suffering a concussion.

WHAT?

YES.

Andre's story is everything about confidence wrapped up in one wild ride. She went from managing massive corporate budgets to building a photography business that not only feeds her soul but makes MORE money than her corporate job. And get this—she did it while being present for her kids and completely redesigning her entire life.

And.. She was terrified. She lost her professional identity. People thought she was CRAZY. Her first clients would literally say things like, "You went to MIT and you're just a photographer?"

Instead of giving up, she was like, "Watch me."

Andre’s story is proof that confidence isn't about having everything figured out. It's about having the guts to completely reinvent yourself when something doesn't feel right.

Key takeaways from our conversation include:

• Your career path isn't carved in stone - it's clay you can reshape
• Sometimes a total life pivot is the most authentic move you can make
• Identity is fluid - your job title doesn't define your worth or potential
• You can choose to believe in yourself, even when others are skeptical

Boston-based Andre Toro is a former electrical engineer and MIT MBA grad turned-portrait photographer obsessed with fostering human connections and emotive storytelling through the images she captures. Learn more about her work at andretorophotography.com.

I can’t tell you how many times I hear it - “I could never.” It’s a phrase that drives me absolutely nuts because it’s such a convenient, self-imposed barrier.

Whether it’s someone telling me they could never write a book, do a TED Talk, or even wear a bold color, it’s the same mindset: shutting down possibility before it even has a chance to breathe.

And I can’t help myself; I always have to dig deeper. Do you really want to do the thing you’re dismissing? If not, that’s fine — own it! But if you do, then let’s stop hiding behind “I could never” and start figuring out how you can.

Confidence is a choice. This is a hill I will die on.

It’s not about being fearless—it’s about choosing to act in spite of your fears.

If you’ve ever felt stuck by fear of failure or rejection, this one’s for you. I’ll walk you through how to get past those feelings and turn your “I could never” into “I can” (and then celebrate when you do confidence isn’t just about you—it’s contagious— and when you share your wins, you inspire others to take their own leaps).

So, are you ready to start taking those first steps toward what you’ve been avoiding? Tune in now!