In this episode of Regulated & Relational, Julie Beem and Ginger Healy discuss the concept of self-compassion, drawing insights from Dr. Kristin Neff's work. Dr. Neff, a researcher in the field, defines self-compassion as treating yourself with the same kindness you'd offer a close friend. She breaks it into three elements: mindfulness (being aware of struggles), connection (understanding we're not alone in challenges), and kindness to self (responding with warmth instead of self-criticism).

Julie shares her own struggles with self-compassion and how it can be difficult to confront pain, often either ignoring it or fighting it. Self-compassion, according to Dr. Neff, allows people to pause, acknowledge the difficulty, and respond with care.

Dr. Neff emphasizes that self-compassion isn’t just a feel-good idea; it literally rewires the brain by activating the parasympathetic nervous system and increasing emotional regulation. It improves mental and physical health, supports decision-making, reduces stress, and enhances resilience.

Julie and Ginger also provide five practical ways to incorporate more self-compassion into daily life, including mindfulness, self-care, journaling, connection with loved ones, and positive self-talk.

Supporting Resources

Dr. Kristin Neff

https://self-compassion.org/

Dr. Neff’s books

https://www.amazon.com/s?k=dr+kristen+neff&crid=218H6KXMNYTJ&sprefix=dr+kristin+neff%2Caps%2C145&ref=nb_sb_noss_1

Join Ginger and Julie as they wrap up the season by talking about brain lessons.

A little basic brain knowledge can go a long way in understanding behaviors and supporting children in your home or the classroom. Understanding brain development enables us to respond compassionately and helps children—and adults—thrive.

Brains grow from the bottom up and the inside out. Although babies are born with brain structures in place, the development and activation of areas of the brain happen sequentially - from the bottom up and inside out.

Brain development occurs sequentially, from the bottom up and inside out. Neural growth depends on environmental experiences, relationships, and developmental readiness—stages cannot be skipped. Chronic stress and trauma can disrupt this process, wiring the brain to expect stress and react to it intensely. However, due to neuroplasticity, the brain can adapt, heal, and reorganize itself, offering hope for those affected by trauma.

Building resilience involves managing stress through deep breathing, meditation, proper sleep, hydration, nutrition, and healthy relationships. Caregivers play a vital role by offering responsive, nurturing care that supports neural tuning (strengthening) and pruning (removing unused connections). These processes help children learn trust, self-regulation, and efficient learning. Storytelling also fosters brain development by soothing stress responses and enhancing connection.

Supporting Resources

Dr. Wendy Suzuki

https://www.wendysuzuki.com/

Good Anxiety

https://a.co/d/7jsv01N

Dr. Lisa Feldman Barrett

https://lisafeldmanbarrett.com/

7 ½ lessons on the brain book

https://a.co/d/fq0zTlx

Dr. Bessel Van der kolk -Trauma Research Institute

https://traumaresearchfoundation.org/programs/faculty/bessel-van-der-kolk/

Jessica Sinarski- Light up the Learning Brain

https://a.co/d/fR1gXhb

Join Julie and Ginger as they speak with Dr. Lori Desautels

Dr. Lori Desautels has been an Assistant Professor at Butler University since 2016, teaching undergraduate and graduate programs in the College of Education. The Applied Educational Neuroscience Certification, created by Lori in 2016, is specifically designed to meet the needs of educators, counselors, clinicians, and administrators who work with children and adolescents who have experienced adversity and trauma.

https://revelationsineducation.com/

Lori has written 6 books

https://revelationsineducation.com/the-book/

Register for her symposium here

https://www.butler.edu/education/education-neuroscience-symposium/

Register for her summer cohort certification in educational neuroscience here

https://www.butler.edu/education/graduate-programs/applied-educational-neuroscience/

Dr. Lori will be doing a 3-hour deep dive during our Academy Day/Pre-Con at our Creating Trauma-Sensitive Schools Conference in Feb in Atlanta! Register now!

Here are a couple of favorite takeaways from our episode that Lori beautifully teaches.

“Touchpoints are moments of connection that, when any of us feel heard and seen, just changes our biology. When someone sees, feels, or hears us…wow, that’s a lift. A dopamine hit or a serotonin hit. It feels so nourishing to us. “

“We have this beautiful nervous system, which is the brain and body, in constant communication; there’s this bi-directional highway. Our nervous system’s priority is survival. Anytime we sense or feel something in our environment, relationship, or experience that feels threatening or unsafe, our nervous system goes into a state of protection.”