In this episode Ginger and Julie talk to Dafna Lender who is an international trainer, EMDR therapist, and supervisor for practitioners who work with children and families. She is a certified trainer and supervisor/consultant in Dyadic Developmental Psychotherapy and Theraplay. Dafna’s expertise is drawn from 25 years working with families with attachment issues in many settings. She is a leader in family therapy from an attachment perspective and is passionate about her work and regularly co-trains with Bessel van der Kolk, Peter Levine, Ed Tronick, and Dan Hughes. She is the author of Integrative Attachment Family Therapy and Theraplay: The Practitioner’s Guide.

https://www.dafnalender.com/

Listen in as Julie and Ginger talk with Dafna about therapeutic parenting, attachment, and more!

Listen in as Julie and Ginger talk to Ginger Lewman about Bullying.

Ginger Lewman is a national consultant & keynote speaker with ESSDACK, a non-profit education service center based in Hutchinson Kansas. She holds a Master of Science in Psychology and Special Education and Gifted Education, With 30 years in education, she inspires and helps all levels of educators figure out the hard hurdles for innovative teaching and learning.

Why do people bully? There are many reasons but Ginger boils it down to the messages we hear as kids and feeling a lack of safety, dignity and/or belonging.

Ginger encourages us to get upstream and gives great strategies and tools and states that these and other tools are best utilized in an environment steeped daily in the foundation of the science of trauma and resilience-building and utilizing restorative practices whenever conflict arises anywhere.

“Once we become unafraid of our own stories, we all become safer.” ~ Steve Halley

Resources:

www.stopbullying.gov

https://www.essdack.org/

Peaceful Schools and Families: https://www.essdack.org/psf

Favorite takeaways:

It is difficult work for someone who is hurt, for someone who has hurt other people to move toward conflict. They’ve got to listen to them and they can only do that if I feel safe.

When we’re talking about bringing people into circle toward conflict this is an opportunity for each person to examine what their role has been. It’s not just “you did it”, it’s “we are experiencing this and this is not good for any of us in our community, this isn’t about you just cleaning up what you did wrong”. It’s all of us.

In Episode 82, Ginger & Julie dig into Oxytocin. Oxytocin is often called the “love” or “cuddle” hormone.

High levels of oxytocin correlate with the speed of wound healing. Research is documenting the positive effects of oxytocin in treating many conditions including heart disease, schizophrenia, diabetes, and certain kinds of cancer.

For children who have experienced early adversities with attachment disorders and trauma-based impacts, increasing their oxytocin levels holds the promise of helping them emotionally, socially, relationally, and physically.

Besides physical touch and affection other things that increase oxytocin:

• Exercise
• Healthy Diet
• Vitamin D
• Music

The following additional resources were mentioned

Dr. Stephen Porges https://www.stephenporges.com/

Amelia and Emily Nagoski https://www.burnoutbook.net/about-the-authors

Dr. Louis Cozolino https://www.drloucozolino.com/

Drs. Dan Hughes and Jon Baylin -Brain-Based Parenting book- https://a.co/d/gUWRjQF