In this episode, we’re back with part 2 of our series on John Gottman’s relationship principles. We’re talking about the practical stuff – how to strengthen your relationship daily.

We go through things like building better love maps, how to keep appreciation alive, why those little moments of connection matter, and what to do when you’re stuck having the same fight over and over again.

If you’ve ever felt like you love your partner but keep missing each other, or like small issues keep snowballing, this one’s for you.

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Timestamps: (00:00) Introduction

(02:38) Today's topic: John Gottman part 2 – How to strengthen your relationship

(08:23) Enhancing your love maps – Know your partner’s world and stay curious

(17:37) Nurturing fondness and admiration – Focus on what you appreciate about your partner

(23:12) Turning toward each other – Why small bids for connection matter

(28:49) Let your partner influence you – Making decisions as a team

(33:32) Solving solvable problems – Start with the small stuff

(39:12) Overcoming gridlock – Move from conflict to meaningful dialogue

(44:12) Creating shared meaning – Build a life you both value

The Four Horsemen of Relationships – Are You Doing These Without Knowing It?

We’re finally back from our spring break! In this first part of two, we explain why Dr. John Gottman’s 4 signs that predict divorce—criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling—are so powerful, and how they often show up without us even realizing it.

We break these down by analyzing a viral clip of Alec and Hilaria Baldwin, using it as a real-life example of how these patterns play out in everyday relationships.

Timestamps (00:00) Coming up in this episode
(01:31) Dave’s Caribbean cruise
(04:51) Analyzing the Alec and Hilaria Baldwin clip
(17:38) Today’s topic: John Gottman’s Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work – The 4 Horsemen of Relationships
(26:03) The first horseman: Criticism – when complaints turn into character attacks
(31:53) The second horseman: Contempt – the most dangerous relationship killer
(37:46) The third horseman: Defensiveness – why it makes things worse
(42:11) The fourth horseman: Stonewalling – the silent relationship shutdown
(47:15) How can you avoid the Four Horsemen?

Dr. Dana Borchert sits down with Rob and Dave to push back on their views about toxic masculinity, non-violent communication, and more. It’s a fun, honest conversation where Dana offers fresh insights and challenges the guys to think differently about some things they’ve said before. Hit play and join the conversation! 🎧🧠

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Timestamps

(00:00) - Coming up
(00:26) - Introduction: Who is Dr. Dana Borchert?
(04:06) - Rob's wall update
(05:16) - Dana challenges our take on toxic masculinity
(12:52) - Rob's conversation with his wife
(16:06) - The problem with the term "toxic masculinity"
(22:23) - Non-violent communication
(26:39) - The benefits of non-violent communication
(28:53) - Facing our insecurities
(33:04) - What is toxic femininity?
(36:34) - The trad wife movement
(41:16) - Raising emotionally aware boys & the "Mrs. degree"
(43:22) - Why do we need rules and restraints in conversations?